What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

[Nungali]

On 24/06/2020 at 9:15 AM, moment said:

Have you heard the one about the man who kept shouting “broccoli” and “cauliflower”? He thought he might have florets.

 

Had a spongy feeling in my ears with a horrible yellow discharge .

 

Doc told me I was a trifle deaf .

[Nungali]

While I am bitchin about stuff  that ruined all the fun I used to have .....

 

' political correctness  '

 

 

Pfffffffft!

 

 

 

[Apech]

[Nungali]

Notes I put up at the local shop notice board   (but they keep taking them down     ) ;

 

NEED GUITARIST  FOR A BAND .

I a forming a band and need a lead guitarist , I also need singer, bass player and drummer - I have tambourine .

 

TAMBOURINE LESSONS 

$25 and hour

 

VENTRILOQUIST CHANNELLING

I will relay to you any messages your dear departed may have  ...

while I drink a glass of water .

 

$25 REWARD !

To get rid of my cat .

 

CULT MEMBERS WANTED

No pay, bad food , sexual favours required.

 

LOST -  CORGI

 Tan coloured , short  and stumpy.  Responds to the name

' Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff Sr.

[moment]

On 6/28/2020 at 3:37 PM, Nungali said:

 

Had a spongy feeling in my ears with a horrible yellow discharge .

 

Doc told me I was a trifle deaf .

 

Hostess Twinkies are Back! Twinkie Banana Trifle:

 

• About 3 bananas sliced
• 4 oz. neufachetel cheese softened
• 1 box Vanilla instant pudding family size
• 1 1/2 cups whole milk
• 8 oz tub of whipped topping
• 1 box of Twinkies

Instructions

How-to make a Twinkie Banana Trifle

1. First, create the filling by combining the instant pudding mix with whole milk. Add the neufachatel cheese and beat with a hand mixer until smooth. Fold in the whipped topping.
2. Once your pudding mixture is ready it’s time to assemble the Twinkie Banana Trifle. First, empty all of the Hostess Twinkies out of the box and unwrap them. Place along the sides of a trifle serving bowl so that the flat bottoms face the center of the bowl.
3. Starting with the pudding mixture, place about a third of the filling mixture into the center of the dish. Top with one sliced banana. Add another layer of pudding mixture and repeat layering process with bananas until you have reached the top. Finish the trifle by placing sliced bananas around the outside of the pudding mixture. Keep Refrigerated.

 

 

 

Edited June 30, 2020 by moment

[Taomeow]

A cartoon about TDB

 

 

 

 

 

[silent thunder]

not laugh, but this one always makes me smile

 

 

[silent thunder]

Me: (after reading some news) *sigh* Wow... parts of 'Murica truly are the land of Freedumb

 

Wife: ... ...

[Nungali]

4 hours ago, silent thunder said:

Me: (after reading some news) *sigh* Wow... parts of 'Murica truly are the land of Freedumb

 

Wife: ... ...

 

That gave me a flashback to the news story I saw last week; a reporter  interviewing an American woman ; " "Yes we all should wear a mask, but we will not be at the Trump rally , becasue ..... its the Trump rally and you know what, that is one of the great things about this country and why its great to be an American  ! "

 

Even the American reporter was left standing there  with   

 

 

[Taomeow]

[Nungali]

Me at training today 

 

This young woman  turns up , watches a bit and  asks us what we are doing . The she says she is looking for something new to do she did kung fu /  wushu but moved  away from that area to this one .  So me and instructor start showing (off) her some stuff on each other , I go watch this and zoom in from long range to punch him , .... sliiiiiip .... skid .... splits ..... streeetch  ... owww and land on my  balls .

 

  

 

 

( my excuse ;  I had new shoes and the grass was wet ) .

 

 

 

[moment]

In 2008 a group of historians from the UK were commissioned to unearth the oldest joke ever written down.

The study was led by humor expert Dr Paul McDonald from the University of Wolverhampton.

 

Ancient Greece, 300-400 AD.

 

An ancient "your mom" joke, Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD.

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself."Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'

"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.

 

This one from Sumeria in 1200 BC, is a brainteaser.  --"Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load.  "The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen."So they all went."In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load."Problem: Who owns the calf?"

 

Ancient Egypt, 1600 BC.This old joke was found in the Ancient Egyptian story book known as the Westcar Papyrus

It goes:         "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?  "You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

Edited July 6, 2020 by moment

[manitou]

This isn't  a humorous tome, but on page 178 of Vasistha's Yoga it says:

 

As long as the mind is swayed by thoughts of pleasure or happiness, so long is it unable to comprehend the truth. 

Hence, it is declared that he who declares 'All this is Brahman' to one who is ignorant or half-awakened, goes to hell.

 

does anyone else find that a little rude?

[Mithras]

1 hour ago, manitou said:

This isn't  a humorous tome, but on page 178 of Vasistha's Yoga it says:

 

As long as the mind is swayed by thoughts of pleasure or happiness, so long is it unable to comprehend the truth. 

Hence, it is declared that he who declares 'All this is Brahman' to one who is ignorant or half-awakened, goes to hell.

 

does anyone else find that a little rude?

Yeah I found the same when i read that excerpt. It's just a bit rude and random. I imagine if someone actually let it grow as a demon in their mind then it could come to be.

[Mithras]

[Nungali]

2 hours ago, moment said:

In 2008 a group of historians from the UK were commissioned to unearth the oldest joke ever written down.

The study was led by humor expert Dr Paul McDonald from the University of Wolverhampton.

 

Ancient Greece, 300-400 AD.

 

An ancient "your mom" joke, Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD.

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself."Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'

"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.

 

This one from Sumeria in 1200 BC, is a brainteaser.  --"Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load.  "The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen."So they all went."In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load."Problem: Who owns the calf?"

 

Ancient Egypt, 1600 BC.This old joke was found in the Ancient Egyptian story book known as the Westcar Papyrus

It goes:         "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?  "You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

 

 

How about some more ancient Egyptian humour ;

 

 

 

 

 

 

[moment]

[Nungali]

Trust a dog to lift your wallet while you trying to take a difficult shot 

 

[Apech]

[Earl Grey]

6 hours ago, Apech said:

Add “The Windup Girl” too because of the food problem.

[silent thunder]

21 hours ago, Apech said:

wow... that image really rings the bell of familiarity, sadly.

 

Though in my world, Handmaids Tale is replaced with Bladerunner and Clockwork is replaced by Stalker.

Edited July 11, 2020 by silent thunder

[moment]

 

[senseless virtue]

@moment, now is a time that we start building a safe space for all living beings. Someone's feelings could really get badly hurt because of that video you posted!

 

The above video titled "5 funny monkeys dancing" seems to feature apes of chimpanzee origin, so it has been titled in a bigoted, species discriminating manner. We want to have politically correct human and chimpanzee relations and thus we are obliged to give our chimpanzee cousins a proper dignifying designation "ape" instead of the inappropriate slur "monkey." In the current year we don't want to remain ignorant or claim that all simians can be categorically labeled with misidentifying terms without asking their explicit consent first, which is to recognize that some minority of chimpanzees could actually feel that they themselves are monkeys and not apes and should be identified as such by their proper designation.

 

Furthermore, the dancing sequence and the accompanying music seems inspired by traditional Irish dance and music. We will have to talk this through with the Cannabums department heads and make sure that human cultural activities are no longer improperly appropriated by playful simians of any species. We further demand that human diversity is increased among simian entertainers in order to prevent a simian monoculture agglomerating on this campus.

 

We want to have pre-emptive lead against all discriminating specist behavior. Therefore I am going to recommend that our human members have exchange periods among simians. Hopefully this will lead to new heights in mutual respect and understanding, and also sharing vital technological skills. Humans in particular could learn from simians how to settle fights and wars with flinging fecal matter against the opponent instead of waging prolonged campaigns of destruction and violence.

 

Yours truly,

virtue

The Self-Righteous and Self-Declared Dean of The Dao Bums Department of Political Correctness, Social Justice, and Reconciliation Between Species

Edited July 12, 2020 by virtue

[moment]

18 minutes ago, virtue said:

@moment, now is a time that we start building a safe space for all living beings. Someone's feelings could really get badly hurt because of that video you posted!

 

The above video titled "5 funny monkeys dancing" seems to feature apes of chimpanzee origin, so it has been titled in a bigoted, species discriminating manner. We want to have politically correct human and chimpanzee relations and thus we are obliged to give our chimpanzee cousins a proper dignifying designation "ape" instead of the inappropriate slur "monkey." In the current year we don't want to remain ignorant or claim that all simians can be categorically labeled with misidentifying terms without asking their explicit consent first, which is to recognize that some minority of chimpanzees could actually feel that they themselves are monkeys and not apes and should be identified as such by their proper designation.

 

Furthermore, the dancing sequence and the accompanying music seems inspired by traditional Irish dance and music. We will have to talk this through with the Cannabums department heads and make sure that human cultural activities are no longer improperly appropriated by playful simians of any species. We further demand that human diversity is increased among simian entertainers in order to prevent a simian monoculture agglomerating on this campus.

 

We want to have pre-emptive lead against all discriminating specist behavior. Therefore I am going to recommend that our human members have exchange periods among simians. Hopefully this will lead to new heights in mutual respect and understanding, and also sharing vital technological skills. Humans in particular could learn from simians how to settle fights and wars with flinging fecal matter against the opponent instead of waging prolonged campaigns of destruction and violence.

 

Yours truly,

virtue

The Self-Righteous and Self-Declared Dean of The Dao Bums Department of Political Correctness, Social Justice, and Reconciliation Between Species

 

Your words of inter-species wisdom will haunt me forever.

[Earl Grey]

5 hours ago, virtue said:

@moment, now is a time that we start building a safe space for all living beings. Someone's feelings could really get badly hurt because of that video you posted!

 

The above video titled "5 funny monkeys dancing" seems to feature apes of chimpanzee origin, so it has been titled in a bigoted, species discriminating manner. We want to have politically correct human and chimpanzee relations and thus we are obliged to give our chimpanzee cousins a proper dignifying designation "ape" instead of the inappropriate slur "monkey." In the current year we don't want to remain ignorant or claim that all simians can be categorically labeled with misidentifying terms without asking their explicit consent first, which is to recognize that some minority of chimpanzees could actually feel that they themselves are monkeys and not apes and should be identified as such by their proper designation.

 

Furthermore, the dancing sequence and the accompanying music seems inspired by traditional Irish dance and music. We will have to talk this through with the Cannabums department heads and make sure that human cultural activities are no longer improperly appropriated by playful simians of any species. We further demand that human diversity is increased among simian entertainers in order to prevent a simian monoculture agglomerating on this campus.

 

We want to have pre-emptive lead against all discriminating specist behavior. Therefore I am going to recommend that our human members have exchange periods among simians. Hopefully this will lead to new heights in mutual respect and understanding, and also sharing vital technological skills. Humans in particular could learn from simians how to settle fights and wars with flinging fecal matter against the opponent instead of waging prolonged campaigns of destruction and violence.

 

Yours truly,

virtue

The Self-Righteous and Self-Declared Dean of The Dao Bums Department of Political Correctness, Social Justice, and Reconciliation Between Species

 

5 hours ago, moment said:

 

Your words of inter-species wisdom will haunt me forever.

 

Hey, well let's not forget our old friend @gendao, who was always about reptilian rights! So much for biodiversity, you bigot! 

 

...I miss gendao. Hope he gets a chance to come back someday since he was already improving his behavior before he was booted.