C T Posted June 30, 2019 So I just got back home from work. My dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. Now, my neighbor's kids raise these Blue Ribbon WINNER Rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of their rabbits. So I took the rabbit away from my dog, I rushed inside, washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could come home. It was stiff but I heard some ANIMALS play dead when they are AFRAID, I couldn't remember which animals because I was NERVOUS. I took it and placed it back in one of the cages, then I ZOOMED back home. NOT 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming. so I go out and ask them what's wrong? They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage!!! (random fb joke) 3 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted June 30, 2019 3 hours ago, C T said: So I just got back home from work. My dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. Now, my neighbor's kids raise these Blue Ribbon WINNER Rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of their rabbits. So I took the rabbit away from my dog, I rushed inside, washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could come home. It was stiff but I heard some ANIMALS play dead when they are AFRAID, I couldn't remember which animals because I was NERVOUS. I took it and placed it back in one of the cages, then I ZOOMED back home. NOT 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming. so I go out and ask them what's wrong? They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage!!! (random fb joke) That's like something from a scary movie; Pet Cemetery or Chuckie or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent thunder Posted July 1, 2019 2 hours ago, Wuschel said: From Mia Love's newest DVD: Mindfulness: The Key To Higher Living. Thanks for the reminder! Santa Ana's will be blowing soon, time to get the neti pot out for Summer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windwalker Posted July 2, 2019 Quote What was the first thing AOC said when told she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" comment posted on another site.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windwalker Posted July 7, 2019 "I was once a man trapped in a woman's body - then my mother gave birth!" 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nintendao Posted July 14, 2019 SUPER HUMMAN stunt man keepin it O.G. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrpasserby Posted July 14, 2019 (edited) Watching the bird feeder: a sparrow flies down, and misjudges its landing on the polished brass bird perch, it holds on with its feet while hanging upside down as it swings back and fourth looking around for the bird seed, finding nothing but open air, in seeming disgust it does a graceful back flip and lands on the ground below. Edited July 15, 2019 by mrpasserby added emoji 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted July 15, 2019 1 hour ago, mrpasserby said: Watching the bird feeder: a sparrow flies down, and misjudges its landing on the polished brass bird perch, it holds on with its feet upside down while it swings back and fourth looking around for the bird seed, finding nothing but open air, in seeming disgust it does a graceful back flip and lands on the ground below. Who in their right mind has a polished brass bird perch? That's just plain mean, Mr. P. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted July 15, 2019 He he he ..... mwa ha har ! < starts polishing the bird perch > 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted July 15, 2019 16 hours ago, Nungali said: He he he ..... mwa ha har ! < starts polishing the bird perch > I just have a thing about seeing sparrows spin around and around on a highly polished brass bird perch.... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted July 15, 2019 And seriously. Some guy polished my brake pedal with Armour All once. That was one wild ride home. I felt like a sparrow who just landed on a polished brass perch. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrpasserby Posted July 15, 2019 (edited) On 7/1/2019 at 5:35 AM, silent thunder said: Thanks for the reminder! Santa Ana's will be blowing soon, time to get the neti pot out for Summer. Oh! at first glance, I thought that she was poring tea, in a new-age sort of way. Edited July 16, 2019 by mrpasserby added video 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
C T Posted July 16, 2019 I was driving home from work one early evening when I saw the flash of a police camera. I figured it went off for exceeding the speed limit even though I knew I wasn't speeding. Just to be sure, I went around the block again, passing the same spot, driving even more slowly, and again, the camera flashed. Now I began to think this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the spot once more, but the camera again flashed! I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same result, and was now laughing in between muttering unutterables as I rolled the car past at a snail's pace. By that time, I had almost forgotten how preoccupied I was as I left work, trying to make sense of an internal audit that was taking longer than it should. Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted July 16, 2019 CT - You aren't one of those people who sucks people into a joke, are you? I've heard a lot of ticket stories. That one is just a little too perfect. But really funny. Tell me you're not one of those geezers who keeps these bizarre little scenarios in your head to pull out and use in social situations? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted July 16, 2019 A friend did it in Sydney when the new under harbour tunnel first opened. It wasn't used that much at first and she was a very early commuter, no traffic, had a nice car new car, no one about so ; zoooooom through the tunnel. That was fun. Same next day and the next and the next and Then about 8 days later got a ticket in the mail for speeding , the next day another ticket tin the mail ... and so on. " They got a camera in there ! " she said . ................ 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
C T Posted July 20, 2019 My father had always encouraged me to work until my bank account looked like a phone number. I paid attention, and followed thru with his sparkling advise. YOU HAVE BEEN LOGGED IN ACCOUNT BALANCE: $9.11 MAXIMUM WITHDRAWAL $5.00 OVERDRAFT FACILITY: N/A 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted July 21, 2019 1 hour ago, C T said: My father had always encouraged me to work until my bank account looked like a phone number. I paid attention, and followed thru with his sparkling advise. YOU HAVE BEEN LOGGED IN ACCOUNT BALANCE: $9.11 MAXIMUM WITHDRAWAL $5.00 OVERDRAFT FACILITY: N/A I'm real close to getting this joke, but it hasn't come through the mist yet. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted August 7, 2019 12 hours ago, Apech said: I saw a guy do that with a bong once . he got offered one and didnt know how to do it . The guy lighting it for him was instructing him to do it properly and hassling him to 'pull it ' in one breath .... guy coughed , hot bowl full of burning mull hits the lighter in the forehead and explodes followed by gush of bong water in his face . 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted August 7, 2019 Conversely, if you actually want the job ( well, I hear some people actually DO .... but , whatever ) they are bound to also ask you . And what are your weaknesses or things you have difficulty with . Answer ; " Chocolate ' . 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted August 7, 2019 And if you dont want the job ; Q. Do you have a problem drinking alcohol ? Nope, I can drink about 8 pints before I vomit and pass out ! 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
