What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

[manitou]

3 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

 

Roaring Thunder would fart on the people hiding and preparing to do jump scares or hold one in constantly just in case he had someone sneaking up behind him. 

 

 

 

That kind of flatulence control is really quite impressive.

[silent thunder]

1 hour ago, manitou said:

 

That kind of flatulence control is really quite impressive.

Seriously...

At my age, no sneeze is considered safe.

[silent thunder]

.

Edited February 3, 2022 by silent thunder

[Nungali]

7 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

You have way more patience than I do when dealing with tarot experts, good sir. I think at some point I will start another thread on horror stories of dealing with self-proclaimed tarot experts. 

 

post it in tarot section,  that could do with a spark up

[Nungali]

7 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

I had a friend once who was Roaring Thunder and another friend who was Silent But Deadly. They were a group of misfits (including me...) who would go to places like haunted houses in Universal Studios or those Halloween pop-up mazes. 

 

Roaring Thunder would fart on the people hiding and preparing to do jump scares or hold one in constantly just in case he had someone sneaking up behind him. 

 

Silent But Deadly would eat all that wonderful stuff like gorgonzola cheese and cherry coke in anticipation and proceed to leave a trail of tears for the scare actors in his vicinity who were unprepared for this assault on the senses. 

 

I got a friend that used to like blowing stuff up . As time goes on, that gets harder ,  fireworks where banned eventually and used to have to  do seedy stuff , like go to Canberra  and make  undercover deals with  Chinese grocers   ( " You want cheap firecracker ?  " ... "Yes I do actually ! " ).  When that dried up it was flogging explosives from the  special effects department .

 

But nowadays, when a bin or something blows up people dont laugh any more  , explosions make people nervous  .  So what to do ?

 

I am visiting his house in the city and he wants me to watch a little film he made , of the latest 'Sculpture Symposium ' 

 

- they have this thing once a year where a popular coastal walk in one of the very expensive suburbs in eastern Sydney s dotted with sculpture and modern art  and the locals can stroll along , stop, sip their portable champagne  and engage each other  in 'symposia'

 

 

 

 

Whatever ... so the film starts, there is a cave / grotto with people standing around looking at some yuppie conglomeration and discussing its artistic merits .  Then Billy enters the scene and i realise one of his mates must be filming from nearby. He stands there contemplating the sculpture from different angles, trying to mix in with the crowd then makes his way over to a nearby rubbish bin,  drops something in it and starts to walk away , increasing speed .

 

Oh no !   Whats he done, this is gonna cause a problem !

 

But there is no bang .  Then  people standing around  gushing about the obscure 'installation' start looking uncomfortable, moving around, looking at each other , now fanning the air,  covering their faces and start to evacuate the area .

 

"Whats going on ? "  I asked .

 

:" Fart bomb . "   

 

      Oh dear !

 

[  A while back, he showed me a birthday card he got from work , he said he didnt get it and asked me why anyone would give him a card like that .

 

Really !  ?   

 

It was one of those retro cards ; a man in a straight looking suit holding a briefcase is running down a street laughing - caption

 

 ' Although  Brian  (and someone has written 'Billy' )  was a full grown man with a steady job, he still found it funny to knock on peoples doors then run away .'  ]

 

Described him to a T ... but he still doesnt get it    

 

- He is banned from it completely now, one of his old decayed Chinese 'Roman candles' blew up and misfired,, one ball hit his wife in the head and another went through an open house window ... boy did she go off !     

 

The last event, I was at a dinner party at their place , he excused himself and wet out to, we thought , the back toilet . Then we hear a flush and the  basin tap, he comes back sits down and we continue .  A minute later  KA  - BOOM !      far out !  Everyone at dinner nearly jumps outa their skin.

 

His house backs on to the University car park, a big hollow concrete  structure.

 

Wife - angrily .  'BILL ! '

 

Innocent  :  " What ? "

 

 " Did you do that ?  You did didnt you ! "

 

" Of course not , what, you think I can jump the back fence, jump the Uni security fence, plant a  banger, jump back both fences and get back to the dinner table before it goes off ? I dont think so . "

 

Wife ;  < nasty glare >

 

Later  when his wife leaves the table  he winks at me and learns over and whispers  " Time delay fuse " .

 

 

Its gonna go bad one day ! 

 

 

 

 

[manitou]

2 hours ago, silent thunder said:

Synchronicity.  The project I am working on now is at Uni and they are setting up the scare house outside our stage.

 

 

Maybe you should use Earl Grey's friend as one of the scary things.

[manitou]

 (Reason for edit:  Nungali said it all)

[Nungali]

I just remember a thing that used to happen at work

;

Wait !    Wha's that noise ?  Sounds like air coming out .. has your tyre  got a puncture .

 

" What ! "   bends down to listen to tyre .....

 

 

 

" BRAAAAAATTT TT T  ! "

 

One time the Greek veggie man turns up with a delivery , another huge one .

 

Me; "Oh no, we gotta make a pass chain  again "

 

Veggie man ; " Dont worry boys, I git a new trolley . "   pulls it out the back of truck .

 

Me;  " Say, thats a nice trolley , looks brand new  and .... hey whats that noise , is the tyre leaking ? "

 

Veggie man  ; "   WHAT !  Its brand new ! "   bends down to listen to tyre .

 

Simon  ( 2 IC )  :   " NOOOOOO ! "   grabs veggie man and wrenches him away .

 

Veggie man :   " What the hell ? "

 

Simon : " Dr Bacon was just about to fart in your ear . "

 

A few days later Veggie man gives Simon a bottle of wine  " here ya go, this is for saving  me ."

 

Simon ; " Huh ,   saving you ? "

 

Veggie Man :  " Yes ...  saving me from Dr Bacon's fart ."

 

(or what is otherwise known in the industry as  ' back quack'  .

 

 

 

Edited September 16, 2019 by Nungali

[Taomeow]

Take that, flat earthers!!  Now you've got your ultimate proof that the earth is a globe!  

 

[Nungali]

Flatulent Earth !

 

 

Dont blame me , its Aristotle's idea ;

 

 

 " The earth is essentially dry, but rain fills it with moisture. Then the sun and its own fire warm it and give rise to a quantity of wind both outside and inside it. This wind sometimes flows outwards in a single body, sometimes inwards, and sometimes it is divided. All these are necessary laws. Next we must find out what body has the greatest force in movement. This will certainly be the body that naturally moves farthest and is most violent. Now that which has the most rapid motion is necessarily the most violent; for its swiftness gives its impact the greatest force. Again, the rarest body, that which can most readily pass through every other body, is that which naturally moves farthest. Wind satisfies these conditions in the highest degree (fire only becomes flame and moves rapidly when wind accompanies it): so that not water nor earth is the cause of earthquakes but wind, namely the inrush of the external evaporation into the earth.

 

 ‘We must suppose the action of the wind in the earth to be analogous to the tremors and throbbings caused in us by the force of the wind contained in our bodies. Thus some earthquakes are a sort of tremor, others a sort of throbbing. Again, we must think of an earthquake as something like the tremor that often runs through the body after passing water as the wind returns inwards from without in one volume.’

[Earl Grey]

15 hours ago, manitou said:

 

That kind of flatulence control is really quite impressive.

 

10 hours ago, Nungali said:

I just remember a thing that used to happen at work

;

Wait !    Wha's that noise ?  Sounds like air coming out .. has your tyre  got a puncture .

 

" What ! "   bends down to listen to tyre .....

 

 

 

" BRAAAAAATTT TT T  ! "

 

One time the Greek veggie man turns up with a delivery , another huge one .

 

Me; "Oh no, we gotta make a pass chain  again "

 

Veggie man ; " Dont worry boys, I git a new trolley . "   pulls it out the back of truck .

 

Me;  " Say, thats a nice trolley , looks brand new  and .... hey whats that noise , is the tyre leaking ? "

 

Veggie man  ; "   WHAT !  Its brand new ! "   bends down to listen to tyre .

 

Simon  ( 2 IC )  :   " NOOOOOO ! "   grabs veggie man and wrenches him away .

 

Veggie man :   " What the hell ? "

 

Simon : " Dr Bacon was just about to fart in your ear . "

 

A few days later Veggie man gives Simon a bottle of wine  " here ya go, this is for saving  me ."

 

Simon ; " Huh ,   saving you ? "

 

Veggie Man :  " Yes ...  saving me from Dr Bacon's fart ."

 

(or what is otherwise known in the industry as  ' back quack'  .

 

 

 

 

Well, this kind of control is impressive (it dramatically improves the song too): 

 

 

[Mskied]

I haven't yet mapped out what is funny.  When I was younger, mocking people was funny.  Then as I got older, mocking myself was funny.  Now as an adult, after all Ive been through, I find less humor in things.  Instead I look for examples of kindness and love, and care for others to brighten my dreary outlook.  Im always amazed at how much there is that we don't even respect or give thanks for.  Its everywhere, really.  Hard to see sometimes though.

[Earl Grey]

Just now, Mskied said:

I haven't yet mapped out what is funny.  When I was younger, mocking people was funny.  Then as I got older, mocking myself was funny.  Now as an adult, after all Ive been through, I find less humor in things.  Instead I look for examples of kindness and love, and care for others to brighten my dreary outlook.  Im always amazed at how much there is that we don't even respect or give thanks for.  Its everywhere, really.  Hard to see sometimes though.

 

You remind me of the wisdom of Wayne Dyer and a story he once told in The Power of Intent. 

 

Two ministers were working quietly in their respective area next to one another.

 

A man storms in and starts demanding that they give him what he wants as he has endured hours of bureaucratic nightmares and incompetence. 

 

The first minister nonchalantly looks up at him and softly says, "Kindly remember rule number six, please."

 

The man suddenly stops in place, as though a lightbulb had gone off in his head, then says, "Oh! Right! Thank you!" and he breathes a sigh of relief, then leaves with a face of complete peace and acceptance.

 

A woman comes in after having kicked the door open and throwing her hands up in the air, ready to bite someone's head off, demanding to be seen. 

 

The first minister again looks up and politely says, "Kindly remember rule number six, please."

 

The woman immediately blushes, laughs, and says, "Oh, of course! What was I thinking! D'uh!" She walks out with the same sense of elation, completion, joy, and peace as the man before her had when he was given the friendly reminder. 

 

The second minister looks up and says to the first minister, "Hey, you're pretty good at handling these kinds of things. Can you please tell me what rule number six is?"

 

The first minister smiles back and says, "Oh, ha! It isn't that complicated. Rule number six just says 'Don't take yourself so god damned seriously'. That's all there is to it."

 

The second minister said, "Hey, pretty good rule! So what are the other rules?"

 

The first minister responds, "There are no other rules."

[Mskied]

Your story reminds me of how our society is today, and one of the problems of it that I think on a lot.  The letter of the Law is the Law because we need it to maintain order and peace, and when the Law is transgressed, we have to address it, lest people walk all over it.  I was once a man that let nothing offend him.  I used to let people walk all over me, and let them do whatever they liked, always making excuses about the things they did and said, a man of extreme Good Will and charity of spirit.  Then I became a Chaos magician, and recognized that the sufferings of this world are encouraged when we fail to monitor our words and actions.  Donald Trump is a great example of why this type of thing should not be tolerated.

Edited September 17, 2019 by Mskied

[Earl Grey]

11 minutes ago, Mskied said:

Your story reminds me of how our society is today, and one of the problems of it that I think on a lot.  The letter of the Law is the Law because we need it to maintain order and peace, and when the Law is transgressed, we have to address it, lest people walk all over it.  I was once a man that let nothing offend him.  I used to let people walk all over me, and let them do whatever they liked, always making excuses about the things they did and said, a man of extreme Good Will and charity of spirit.  Then I became a Chaos magician, and recognized that the sufferings of this world are encouraged when we fail to monitor our words and actions.  Donald Trump is a great example of why this type of thing should not be tolerated.

 

Which has absolutely nothing to do at all with what I am talking about or the topic of this thread, which is what makes us laugh. If you have a hard time finding joy or laughter even in small things, then that is on you.

 

Don't shoo out the clowns because you don't find them funny when some of us actually came to see them. 

[Mskied]

Please remember rule #6

[Earl Grey]

Just now, Mskied said:

Please remember rule #6

 

Please follow rule #6!

 

[liminal_luke]

3 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Don't shoo out the clowns because you don't find them funny when some of us actually came to see them. 

 

Send in the Clowns

 

 

[sean]

[Nungali]

4 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Which has absolutely nothing to do at all with what I am talking about or the topic of this thread, which is what makes us laugh. If you have a hard time finding joy or laughter even in small things, then that is on you.

 

Don't shoo out the clowns because you don't find them funny when some of us actually came to see them. 

 

What makes you laugh ?     Well, nothing really . I just stopped by to tell you that .   < mumble mumble ... something about the Law > ...

 

[Nungali]

5 minutes ago, sean said:

 

 

Throw it on the ground bunny .

 

 

 

Its been a while ... why not  ;

 

 

 

[Nungali]

Edited September 18, 2019 by Nungali

[Apech]

[sean]

Hey @Apech this meme feels low-key transphobic and kinda sucks. 👎

 

I get why this might cause a sardonic chuckle. Gender nonconformity and transgenderism is a new, strange thing for many of us and there are legit funny things about gender in 2019.

 

But good sociopolitical humor is rooted in:

1. A deeper understanding of the issue being mocked than the audience
2. Not punching "down", i.e., at people that are already structural targets

 

This meme fails hard at both.

 

It's also so overplayed that's it's basically a meme format, and one that alt-right chuds online love, by the way.

 

Sean

 

[Apech]

1 hour ago, sean said:

Hey @Apech this is a transphobic meme and it actually really sucks. 👎

 

I get why this might cause a sardonic chuckle. Transgender is a new, strange thing for many of us and there are legit funny things about gender in 2019.

 

But good sociopolitical humor is rooted in:

1. A deeper understanding of the issue being mocked than the audience
2. Not punching "down", i.e., at people that are already structural targets

 

This meme fails hard at both.

 

It's also so overplayed that's it's basically a meme format, and one that alt-right chuds online love, by the way.

 

Sean

 

 

It was posted by a gay friend of mine on Facebook and I have no idea what it has to do with transgenderism - its a comment on changing standards in attire over the decades.  You should get off your high horse I think.  But if you really object, its your site so take it down.  I have no idea what punching down at structural targets means - perhaps you could rephrase that in plain English for me.