manitou Posted April 3, 2020 17 hours ago, silent thunder said: Thanks for that. It gave me some serious laughs. But.....a spreadie on the wanker?? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oak Posted April 3, 2020 It didn't make me laugh but it sure made me smile https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10158422747138103&id=511103102 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taomeow Posted April 6, 2020 (edited) An isolation revelation. Edited April 6, 2020 by Taomeow 3 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CloudHands Posted April 6, 2020 what is this ? answer yeah I laughed... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent thunder Posted April 6, 2020 (edited) ... Edited April 6, 2020 by silent thunder Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CloudHands Posted April 7, 2020 21 hours ago, silent thunder said: ... understand me well, at some point you are either indifferent, you cry or you laugh... at a certain level of stupidity... I laugh. That's a form of self-defense, self-preservation. All well considered, it is no so different of people bragging on martial skillz after all... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moment Posted April 7, 2020 (edited) When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky. They're always 20 years behind everything.---Mark Twain When a mute prophet is predicting the end of the world, that's a sign of the end times. Everyone keeps making fun of me because I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not the end of the world. Steps to success: 1. Predict the end of the world. 2. Write a book about it. 3. Prophet? If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise? Edited April 7, 2020 by moment 2 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moment Posted April 7, 2020 On a road through a desert in Arizona, a preacher named Nathaniel Evans walked every day, preaching to the many people who roared past in their cars. “Repent, the End of the World is Near!” he yelled. One day, as he was walking, he came to a big lever in the middle of nowhere, just by the side of the road. It had a sign next to it that read, “Pull this to end the world” Nathaniel saw this as the perfect spot for him to preach, and soon many automobiles were parked nearby. All was well, until there were so many people, and so many cars, that the road was nearly blocked. Then a big 18-wheel rig came down the highway, and couldn’t stop in time. The driver had a choice: run over Nathaniel, or run over the Lever. As the driver later explained to the Highway Patrol, he had no choice. Pointing to the red smear on the road that used to be Nathaniel Evans, he said, “Better Nate than Lever.” 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CloudHands Posted April 7, 2020 43 minutes ago, moment said: When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky. They're always 20 years behind everything.---Mark Twain Ahah I knew that joke but with the local geography, maybe it's from Twain ! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted April 7, 2020 On 4/1/2020 at 10:50 AM, thelerner said: Some dark humour from Taomeow's thread- "Coronavirus testing kits heading to the UK found to be contaminated with Covid-19" https://www.standard.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus-test-kits-contaminated-covid-19-a4403021.html Ah, this game called life. Nobody gets out alive. That is very darkly hysterical. That is truly the Dao reverting to the Dao 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CloudHands Posted April 8, 2020 Ok ! A man 75 Kg wants to cross a river. There is a bridge, and a warning "NO MORE THAN 100KG" The man walks on the bridge. At the middle the bridge crushes ! WHY ??? Spoiler because "one warned man worth two" Spoiler that's a french saying equivalent to "forewarned is forearmed" 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moment Posted April 9, 2020 (edited) Reminded me of a certain element in TDB. Edited April 9, 2020 by moment 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phantalor Posted April 9, 2020 (edited) Edited April 9, 2020 by Phantalor 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted April 11, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, ऋषि said: Whoa.. this isn't funny, but let me add- In 1883, it shook the world. Edited April 11, 2020 by thelerner Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bindi Posted April 14, 2020 “If you are heading out this weekend, please ensure your vehicle has an appropriate door that is not held on with sticky tape” - Victoria Police https://www.9news.com.au/national/victorian-man-driving-western-australia-stopped-by-police-for-sticky-taped-door/c39f98ec-bc95-4d97-ac60-394ccdd35492 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
C T Posted April 16, 2020 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there beneath the pile of dung, it began to feel the spreading warmth. The heat from the dung was thawing the poor bird! It lay there all warm & contented, and soon began to sing joyfully. A passing cat heard the bird's singing, and promptly followed the sound to where the bird was. Digging frantically, the cat dislodged the bird from under the heavy pile and without hesitation, devoured the birdy. Life Lessons: 1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy 2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend 3. When in deep shit, its best to just keep quiet 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
C T Posted April 17, 2020 I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and combined with the drink, it facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked what I was doing, and I said intuitively, "Nothing dear". The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are by nature deep thinkers about various topics, which would then lead to other questions. Finally, I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another really satisfying beer, and some more deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion... A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another kid". On the other hand, you never ever hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts". I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
