How different does seeking Tao make you?

[gendao]

I've been increasingly curious lately about how much seeking the Tao, doing cultivation, ect... makes you different from the rest of society? More and more I just feel like that I have very little in common with the average person. I feel more and more that regular society and me do not really mix well at all. Is becoming "different" from most people a natural consequence of seeking Tao? If so, how so?

I believe this is referred to as "leaving the square (society)."

 

Look, the typical mainstream American guy focuses on sports & beer (see SI, MAXIM magazines).

The typical mainstream American girl focuses on fashion and TV/movies (see PEOPLE, COSMO magazines).

 

Very few are interested in any type of non-materialistic esotericism or personal self-inquiry.

[Maddie]

I believe this is referred to as "leaving the square (society)."

 

Look, the typical mainstream American guy focuses on sports & beer (see SI, MAXIM magazines).

The typical mainstream American girl focuses on fashion and TV/movies (see PEOPLE, COSMO magazines).

 

Very few are interested in any type of non-materialistic esotericism or personal self-inquiry.

 

Yup you seemed to sum up my observations. I wonder why its like this?

[Otis]

How does this make relatiohships difficult? If there is nothing there to fill the gap, if there is difficulty, there may still be something that lingers, no?

 

The experience of "no other", is actually some of the most profound states you may be having in your life. But its still an experience. My own difficulty with other people stems most often from my own best intentions and beliefs.

 

There are other egos, and thus you are different as a sincere practitioner: It makes you aware of the difference between being tuned into the universal energy in the moment, and what the ego wants; safety, specialness, realization, immortality, etc.

I agree completely. One of the mistakes I made early on, was to start acting as if there shouldn't be egos. As if the proper route toward freedom was not to connect to others' egos. Of course, I realized that wasn't getting me anywhere, that paying attention to myself as ego helped me learn what other egos are looking for. Connect to them where they are at, rather than act from some principles of "no ego".

 

That said, my easiest relating happens when I connect to someone else as energy, through play or tantric connection. But there are only a few situations in which others are likely to engage with me on those levels (like the dance floor, the bedroom, when goofing off with friends, deep conversation, etc.). And even those who can and will connect to me like that, usually soon revert back into the defend/control/power games of ego.

 

The difficulty exists partially because others form expectations, and are disappointed when I am off, living my energetic life, and not fulfilling those expectations for them. For example, I have excellent dance relationships with many wonderful beings, and I think there is real love expressed in the connection. But then, if I neglect to dance with that person (because I'm living the flow of the moment), all of a sudden it is no longer a relationship of energy, but one of disappointment and rejection, with karmic repercussions.

 

It is the gulf between wanting to live as authentically and purely as possible, without preconception or preference, vs. wanting to keep people that I love* happy, which I am straddling, and still trying to learn.

 

*or people that I need, like my boss.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Otis