Encephalon

Toying with the idea of replacing Vicodin with reefer for pain mgmt.

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Well that's good news.

 

There's no way that any of the practices will replace my existing medication (at least not in the short term) but its encouraging to know that I will at least still reap some (complementary) benefit.

 

And yes, I *know* how destructive benzodiazepines are. I have been tapering them for 9 months trying to come off and I just can't do it. I am going at an incredibly slow pace, too. I start getting derealization and depersonalization, can't feel my own body, my heart starts pounding like it jumps of my chest and my depression worsens by at least 10 times (it's already bad).

 

There are pros and cons but right now, the way things are in my life, there is no way I can come off the benzos. No freaking way.

 

This was interesting, it's from SFQ's home page:

 

Frances Gaik, Psy. D., Psychologist, Oak Brook, Illinois, Author of: "A Preliminary Study Applying Spring Forest Qigong to Depression as an Alternative and Complementary Treatment"

 

"Extremely effective in the treatment of depression, including bipolar subjects."

 

Of coure this is just one doctor's opinion but it sounds convincing.

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Well that's good news.

 

There's no way that any of the practices will replace my existing medication (at least not in the short term) but its encouraging to know that I will at least still reap some (complementary) benefit.

 

And yes, I *know* how destructive benzodiazepines are. I have been tapering them for 9 months trying to come off and I just can't do it. I am going at an incredibly slow pace, too. I start getting derealization and depersonalization, can't feel my own body, my heart starts pounding like it jumps of my chest and my depression worsens by at least 10 times (it's already bad).

 

There are pros and cons but right now, the way things are in my life, there is no way I can come off the benzos. No freaking way.

A downstream result of calm abdominal breathing is a regulating signal reflecting back up the vagus nerves that eventually serves to help regulate midbrain and endocrine function - this is the scientific basis. When there is disconnect/discord in the breath it is also reflected. It may be further downstream for some than others...but follow the stream and you will get there. Keep weaning.

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Hello Blasto,

I had an accident few years ago and disloccated spine and hip plus few other things .Didnt take any painkillers but took up medical chi kung with someone who is very proficient in energy work .It is possible to learn to manage pain from within and very empowering.

Medical chi kung is great for healing,highly reccomended.

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i'd like to thank everyone for their contributions. Hopefully a time will come when energy practitioners will be able to further quantify the effects of different drugs on practice.

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Pot intensifies rather than blunts your sensitivity to things physical, so it is not a useful choice for pain IMO. I'll email you.

 

+1 - it is also a gamble if you have a history of addiction. Off cigs and booze for 20+ years but only off the bong for 1? Hmm...

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+1 - it is also a gamble if you have a history of addiction. Off cigs and booze for 20+ years but only off the bong for 1? Hmm...

 

Thank you for not letting me off the hook. Honestly, if a little old lady showed up at my door every Saturday night with one joint and said "Here ya go, young man. Have fun, and I'll be back same time next week," I'm 90% confident I could use MJ as Dr. Weil suggested; as a once a week tool of inspiration and recreation. But the day I bought my medical MJ license was the end of moderate use and the beginning of daily consumption. Weekly use was great for generating ideas for writing projects and stretching routines. Daily use completely destroyed my ability to focus and short-circuited the creative benefits. (Yes, said it - benefits.)

 

I think this guy has some important ideas about addiction that have remained in the dark for some interesting reasons. He's also profiled in the film "Zeitgeist: Moving Forward."

 

Great Buddhist title for his book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts."

 

I was so glad to hear him speak of the moral scorn we level at drug addicts. Our culture demonizes them because they make our addictive socioeconomic order look bad. After all, addictive behaviors are really good for the bottom line.

Edited by Blasto

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...

Medical chi kung is great for healing,highly reccomended.

Absolutely.

 

I am curious, blasto, have you considered this? IMO very much better than synthetic drugs and works quicker.

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Absolutely.

 

I am curious, blasto, have you considered this? IMO very much better than synthetic drugs and works quicker.

 

I have, and until such time that I can visit MO or a reputable chi kung institute out here, I'm going to stick with Chu Nei Kung.

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I have, and until such time that I can visit MO or a reputable chi kung institute out here, I'm going to stick with Chu Nei Kung.

I am not clear if you are referring to the same thing as we are. I am not speaking of you changing your internal practice, I am talking about you seeing a personal healer/therapist that does wai chi liao fa, healing with external energy. Actually 3-6 sessions should take away ALL your pain or at least the majority of it. Are we speaking about the same thing? Surely there are some reputable ones around near you (or at least I would have thought so) that have a clinic. But hey, Mo is only a small jump or two away - you could come see how us hillbillies live.

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I haven`t had time to read through the thread so apologies if I missed some vital info. You could try Thonglen. It is a buddhist meditation to build compassion++. It is a VERY good painkiller. When I read that it was a good painkiller I tried to play arround with it a bit and found it had almost instant effect. Makes you feel great as well.

 

However, it radically opens your heart and being in a way many are not ready for. I felt quickly that this was too much for me to handle. When I mentioned the practice to my teacher which had been doing it for years he said that if you practice it before you are ready you might create extremely subtle holding patterns in the heart beneath the aparent openess because your heart wants to protect itself. But you have many years of practice behind you so you should probably give it a go.

 

In this book:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Joy-Living-Unlocking-Science-Happiness/dp/0307347311/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299844933&sr=8-1-spell

 

The writer, a Budhist monk, writes about how his father (which was one of my teachers teachers), underwent an operation in a western country and woke up during the operation because the doctors hadn`t given him enough drugs. The doctors panicked as they thught he would have to be in excruciating pain but he asked them not to drug him anymore because he enjoyed playing with the pain. After years of meditating on pain he learnt to sort of penetrate it in a way that made it disolve and just energize him and give him pleasure in stead. It made him very wakefull it hink he said. So there are meditation techniques for working with pain that can help you mostly work arround it. At least parts of the day when you are able to focus enough to do it.

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It's been becoming increasingly obvious to me that a reason for my "sudden" onset of strong back pain was due to me stopping daily use of THC (via vaporisation) :(

 

I'm currently on 50mg of Tramadol 2x a day, so my level of pain is nothing like what Vicodin would be prescribed for. But I'll be on Tramadol while I'm doing physiotherapy and since I've been taking if for a few months now I'm starting to build up a tolerance and have to top up with paracetamol in between :(

 

I don't like having to take drugs, but obviously I have no issues taking them if I want to :lol: So I've done a bit of experimentation the last few weeks and FWIW while the sensation of pain is slightly different I would have to say that THC is noticeable more effective than Tramadol. For me I basically feel like normal just a slight aching sensation rather than the tingling pins and needles / numbness that I experience with Tramadol.

 

I know I'm injured because a quick mindless movement can still lead to blinding pain that stops me breathing, almost at the point of collapse. I also know I'm improving from physiotherapy as the extent of the pain no longer extends to the top of my foot. But I notice that I have no real need to take my morning does of Tramadol after THC the night before. The downside is that THC isn't appropriate if you need to appear "normal" after taking it.

 

Also I would not bother with those "legal" pot substitutes. IME they just focus on just the high and miss out on the fullness of the natural herb (as you would expect as the are not mimicking all the cannabinoides occurring in the herb)

 

I would say that there is a place for prescription pain killers. I hate them on principal and usually I won't even take panadol, but I do take Tramadol because once things are really painful it's really just a positive feedback loop of pain-> increased muscular tension -> increased pain -> increased muscular tension. No fun at all when it's happening day after day for months.

 

For me now that I'm finally starting to get some range of motion back I'm starting to think along the lines of acupuncture and massage. I've started to investigate pain sensations with meditation but that's only become possible now that the sensation is not just constant agony.

 

Best success to you on your journey S.

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It's been becoming increasingly obvious to me that a reason for my "sudden" onset of strong back pain was due to me stopping daily use of THC (via vaporisation) :(

 

I'm currently on 50mg of Tramadol 2x a day, so my level of pain is nothing like what Vicodin would be prescribed for. But I'll be on Tramadol while I'm doing physiotherapy and since I've been taking if for a few months now I'm starting to build up a tolerance and have to top up with paracetamol in between :(

 

I don't like having to take drugs, but obviously I have no issues taking them if I want to :lol: So I've done a bit of experimentation the last few weeks and FWIW while the sensation of pain is slightly different I would have to say that THC is noticeable more effective than Tramadol. For me I basically feel like normal just a slight aching sensation rather than the tingling pins and needles / numbness that I experience with Tramadol.

 

I know I'm injured because a quick mindless movement can still lead to blinding pain that stops me breathing, almost at the point of collapse. I also know I'm improving from physiotherapy as the extent of the pain no longer extends to the top of my foot. But I notice that I have no real need to take my morning does of Tramadol after THC the night before. The downside is that THC isn't appropriate if you need to appear "normal" after taking it.

 

Also I would not bother with those "legal" pot substitutes. IME they just focus on just the high and miss out on the fullness of the natural herb (as you would expect as the are not mimicking all the cannabinoides occurring in the herb)

 

I would say that there is a place for prescription pain killers. I hate them on principal and usually I won't even take panadol, but I do take Tramadol because once things are really painful it's really just a positive feedback loop of pain-> increased muscular tension -> increased pain -> increased muscular tension. No fun at all when it's happening day after day for months.

 

For me now that I'm finally starting to get some range of motion back I'm starting to think along the lines of acupuncture and massage. I've started to investigate pain sensations with meditation but that's only become possible now that the sensation is not just constant agony.

 

Best success to you on your journey S.

 

Hi Mal

Try a hot water bottle wrapped in a damp towel on your back around the area giving you pain. Night time while watching tv , reading etc. It will relax the surrounding muscles and help you heal.

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I know I'm injured because a quick mindless movement can still lead to blinding pain that stops me breathing, almost at the point of collapse.

Yeah, I think that's one of the real advantages of weed, that the pain is still there, but you can slip in between it. It forces you to be gentle and careful with the injury, whereas a real pain killer might dull the reaction to a "mindless movement".

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Now, I realize that no one in The Tao Bums has ever smoked marijuana, but I just have to ask.

 

I’m in a quandary. I had shoulder replacement surgery less than a month ago and have been happily taking my vicodin ever since. Vicodin pretty much kills your chi flow, as some of you know. My shoulder is fine but my hand remains asleep and very tense although my thumb and first two digits are waking up. I’m beginning to think that I might be “chi-dependent” because I haven’t been able to run my energy for quite some time now, but I’m beginning to notice that calm and contentment that regular daily energy runs give me is beginning to wane. Meaning, I'm getting a little edgy.

 

As a 12-Stepper, I realize I’m playing with fire here, but a part of me really wants to replace the vicodin with pot brownies if pain management goes on for much longer. I could still run my energy under the refer influence, although the current does tend to evaporate like a steam cloud after time. I don’t honestly feel like I’m at risk for opening up Pandora’s box of hard-core drug addiction. Quitting alcohol, cigarettes, and refer was always pretty easy and I never experienced the despair of the white-knuckle, dry drunk episodes. I haven’t had a drink in 30 years, a cigarette in 20, or a bonghit in 1. My life is really good right now, as my wife is making a boatload and my only burden is to run my online business, tend to my screenwriting, clean up the cat vomit and cook dinner, which I can do now with just a little bit of help from my stepdaughter. I have my first child on the way, my rockin’ wife is gorgeous, loves me madly, is losing weight and getting really big boobs (go figure! :D ), so I don’t have any reason to throw this away by becoming a pothead. I believe people relapse when they convince themselves that they have been freed of addictive tendencies AND are still mired in a lackluster life that is still haunted with issues of low self-worth and daily impoverishment.

 

I guess to most of you this sounds like just another rationalization for jumping on the brownie wagon, yes?

 

Thanks in advance.

 

I have looked through the other responses. I can speak as a nurse, medical qigong practitioner, energy healer, and hypnotherapist.

 

Less than 30 days post op you will still be having significant pain but it should be lessening over time. If not, then you should be talking to your doc.

 

Tell us how goes your post op rehab. Was that prescribed or were you pretty much left on your own? If you are not going through a rehab program for your shoulder that borders on criminal. The exercise protocol link below will kind of give you an idea of where you should be and what you can be expected to accomplish at the stages of your recovery.

 

Exercises

 

Regarding brownie vs Vicodin. Personally, Vicodin doesn't affect my chi level at all, doesn't make my pain go away but just makes it less noticeable because I am kinda high and apathetic. Never used marijuana for pain myself but it is very good for pain. Colorado is using medical marijuana now. So response, as you can see, is individual.

 

Acupuncture, medical qigong, hypnosis, etc. can all help to some or great degree. I would just find something that works. Does your wife know how to do Reiki? (Sex/orgasm is also a great painkiller and healer.) That can help relax you.

 

Remember that when a shoulder is replaced, muscles, tendons, nerves, other tissues are cut. It takes a while to regenerate so that is why you have numbness. Nerves take a while to regenerate but things like reiki can really help because it stimulates increased blood flow which encourages healing.

 

If you can't run energy have someone run it for you. I have often run different orbits for clients as they lay on the table for them because it seems like the body needs a 'reset'. Or you can have someone long distance do it for you.

 

As far as addiction goes, nurses have been trained to be discerning in giving pain meds. If you need it for pain control, you need it. If you want it for other reasons lets talk about other alternatives. Pain is really subjective. Can you make up a pain scale for use? For example, 1-10. One being pain is almost non-existent and ten being OMG I am gonna die. Then assign what will you use at what level for the pain. 8 would be vicodin time (don't want to let the pain get up to a 10 because then it is hard to get control/ahead of it.) for example. 1-4 would be Reiki, qigong time and 5-7 maybe MaryJane's time.

 

Figure out which is bearable pain and stay around that area. Pain that gets too severe and chronic will disrupt the immune system and retard healing because natural steroids in the body get released because it perceives the pain as severe stress and threat to the body and ignites the Fight or Flight response.

 

People in severe pain have been known to go into shock and die. I tell you that just to give you some perspective on the continuum of pain.

 

Just some thought,

s

 

I just wanted to add you can also alternate pain relief choices. For example, take Aleve or some other anti-inflammatory about an hour after you take the Vicodin so you are taking your pain meds in a stairstep type of approach. The strategy is to eventually be on primarily the less powerful meds with using the heavy duty stuff for breakthru pain. Also know that the more tense you are the more pain is perceived as painful.

Edited by ShaktiMama

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I have looked through the other responses. I can speak as a nurse, medical qigong practitioner, energy healer, and hypnotherapist.

 

Less than 30 days post op you will still be having significant pain but it should be lessening over time. If not, then you should be talking to your doc.

 

Tell us how goes your post op rehab. Was that prescribed or were you pretty much left on your own? If you are not going through a rehab program for your shoulder that borders on criminal. The exercise protocol link below will kind of give you an idea of where you should be and what you can be expected to accomplish at the stages of your recovery.

 

Exercises

 

Regarding brownie vs Vicodin. Personally, Vicodin doesn't affect my chi level at all, doesn't make my pain go away but just makes it less noticeable because I am kinda high and apathetic. Never used marijuana for pain myself but it is very good for pain. Colorado is using medical marijuana now. So response, as you can see, is individual.

 

Acupuncture, medical qigong, hypnosis, etc. can all help to some or great degree. I would just find something that works. Does your wife know how to do Reiki? (Sex/orgasm is also a great painkiller and healer.) That can help relax you.

 

Remember that when a shoulder is replaced, muscles, tendons, nerves, other tissues are cut. It takes a while to regenerate so that is why you have numbness. Nerves take a while to regenerate but things like reiki can really help because it stimulates increased blood flow which encourages healing.

 

If you can't run energy have someone run it for you. I have often run different orbits for clients as they lay on the table for them because it seems like the body needs a 'reset'. Or you can have someone long distance do it for you.

 

As far as addiction goes, nurses have been trained to be discerning in giving pain meds. If you need it for pain control, you need it. If you want it for other reasons lets talk about other alternatives. Pain is really subjective. Can you make up a pain scale for use? For example, 1-10. One being pain is almost non-existent and ten being OMG I am gonna die. Then assign what will you use at what level for the pain. 8 would be vicodin time (don't want to let the pain get up to a 10 because then it is hard to get control/ahead of it.) for example. 1-4 would be Reiki, qigong time and 5-7 maybe MaryJane's time.

 

Figure out which is bearable pain and stay around that area. Pain that gets too severe and chronic will disrupt the immune system and retard healing because natural steroids in the body get released because it perceives the pain as severe stress and threat to the body and ignites the Fight or Flight response.

 

People in severe pain have been known to go into shock and die. I tell you that just to give you some perspective on the continuum of pain.

 

Just some thought,

s

 

I just wanted to add you can also alternate pain relief choices. For example, take Aleve or some other anti-inflammatory about an hour after you take the Vicodin so you are taking your pain meds in a stairstep type of approach. The strategy is to eventually be on primarily the less powerful meds with using the heavy duty stuff for breakthru pain. Also know that the more tense you are the more pain is perceived as painful.

 

My wife works for Kaiser and my surgeon does 15 shoulder joint replacements a month here in LA. I trust her completely, and yes, my post-op PT starts on the 23rd. I've already been assigned exercises, and am a little surprised by how functional I am. Still don't have the strength to trim my nails or us3 a can opener, but at least i can type with my R index finger. being able to write during this down time was my greatest concern.

 

I think im not to far away from Ibu 800mgs/3x with 1000mgs acet.My hand is always worst in the morning, stiff as a board and numb. I absolutely love marijuana, for all kinds of reasons, maybe too many of the wrong reasons. I take my 1 year birthday cake tomorrow at my Marijuana Anonymous meeting. I'm not sure that I belong there, but life has been awfulkly good without a year's worth of reefer. The pain level has come down since I first posted this 4 days ago. I'm just surprised by thew nerve damage to my hand, but it was one hell of a procedure. Thanks Shak.

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I'd like to add something here to my brothers and sisters on Taobums. Giving medical advice to someone with psychiatric disorders can cause a lot more harm than good if you aren't qualified. Please, be very cautious. You can really hurt someone if you're not careful.

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Giving medical advice to someone with psychiatric disorders can cause a lot more harm than good if you aren't qualified.

 

Ha!! That's what we do best here at TTB!! Haven't you noticed? :lol:

Unsolicited psychological advice from unqualified strangers is even better! I've had plenty of that, and I keep all of it in an 'idea file.'

 

Have you ever visited http://whiterockcrossing.com/ ?

It's not too far from garland. They look like they have their act together pretty well.

Edited by Blasto
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My wife works for Kaiser and my surgeon does 15 shoulder joint replacements a month here in LA. I trust her completely, and yes, my post-op PT starts on the 23rd. I've already been assigned exercises, and am a little surprised by how functional I am. Still don't have the strength to trim my nails or us3 a can opener, but at least i can type with my R index finger. being able to write during this down time was my greatest concern.

 

I think im not to far away from Ibu 800mgs/3x with 1000mgs acet.My hand is always worst in the morning, stiff as a board and numb. I absolutely love marijuana, for all kinds of reasons, maybe too many of the wrong reasons. I take my 1 year birthday cake tomorrow at my Marijuana Anonymous meeting. I'm not sure that I belong there, but life has been awfulkly good without a year's worth of reefer. The pain level has come down since I first posted this 4 days ago. I'm just surprised by thew nerve damage to my hand, but it was one hell of a procedure. Thanks Shak.

 

 

:) I work for Kaiser too. I once had problems with my hand getting stiff and numb about 4 years ago not related to surgery though. I went to my acupuncturist who put needles in all the joints (knuckles) of my hand. That was about 14 needles. No pain since then.

 

:)

s

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It's been becoming increasingly obvious to me that a reason for my "sudden" onset of strong back pain was due to me stopping daily use of THC (via vaporisation) :(

 

I'm currently on 50mg of Tramadol 2x a day, so my level of pain is nothing like what Vicodin would be prescribed for. But I'll be on Tramadol while I'm doing physiotherapy and since I've been taking if for a few months now I'm starting to build up a tolerance and have to top up with paracetamol in between :(

 

I don't like having to take drugs, but obviously I have no issues taking them if I want to :lol: So I've done a bit of experimentation the last few weeks and FWIW while the sensation of pain is slightly different I would have to say that THC is noticeable more effective than Tramadol. For me I basically feel like normal just a slight aching sensation rather than the tingling pins and needles / numbness that I experience with Tramadol.

 

I know I'm injured because a quick mindless movement can still lead to blinding pain that stops me breathing, almost at the point of collapse. I also know I'm improving from physiotherapy as the extent of the pain no longer extends to the top of my foot. But I notice that I have no real need to take my morning does of Tramadol after THC the night before. The downside is that THC isn't appropriate if you need to appear "normal" after taking it.

 

Also I would not bother with those "legal" pot substitutes. IME they just focus on just the high and miss out on the fullness of the natural herb (as you would expect as the are not mimicking all the cannabinoides occurring in the herb)

 

I would say that there is a place for prescription pain killers. I hate them on principal and usually I won't even take panadol, but I do take Tramadol because once things are really painful it's really just a positive feedback loop of pain-> increased muscular tension -> increased pain -> increased muscular tension. No fun at all when it's happening day after day for months.

 

For me now that I'm finally starting to get some range of motion back I'm starting to think along the lines of acupuncture and massage. I've started to investigate pain sensations with meditation but that's only become possible now that the sensation is not just constant agony.

 

Best success to you on your journey S.

 

Be wary of the tramadol. It's not a controlled drug, but probably should be. It's a synthetic stimulator of opiod receptors, and people can abuse it and get addicted to it just like opiates. Being synthetic, it's not as 'clean' as some opiates, and lower's the seizure threshold. Not a real great alternative to Vicodin, IMHO.

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Be wary of the tramadol. It's not a controlled drug, but probably should be. It's a synthetic stimulator of opiod receptors, and people can abuse it and get addicted to it just like opiates. Being synthetic, it's not as 'clean' as some opiates, and lower's the seizure threshold. Not a real great alternative to Vicodin, IMHO.

 

I would second that. Great pain reliever but jeez can we talk about hallucinations and visions...o.m.g. I could not believe it was uncontrolled and it is given quite often to the elderly.

 

I have used it for pain control myself and found out these wild side effects on my own.

 

s

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I would second that. Great pain reliever but jeez can we talk about hallucinations and visions...o.m.g. I could not believe it was uncontrolled and it is given quite often to the elderly.

 

I have used it for pain control myself and found out these wild side effects on my own.

 

s

 

Sounds like a potentially favorite drug of mine. I LOVE the stuff that lets the subconscious percolate upwards,but that's just me on drugs. I did an awful lot of hallucinogens when I was at Lowry AFB back in the 70s! :wacko::lol:

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I'd go for the cannabis.

 

I too have 30 years without booze, had 25 without pot. I reintroduced it 5 years ago for management of my PTSD condition, and I also found out that it was an amazing adjunct to shsmanic ceremony and getting instantly into the 2nd attention, if that makes any sense to you.

 

The general well-being that the cannabis will give to you lessens every type of pain you have in your body, including mental pain. My husband is a bipolar and, as such, he just refuses to do anything to make himself feel better, like take a Prozac or anything. He revels in his depths. Until he smokes a joint - suddenly it's as if he can't even remember what he was in such a snit about.

 

At this point in my post-police career (lol) I just can't say enough for the stuff. I wish to hell they would just legalize the stuff - I can't help but believe that every single person who took just one or two drags would see instantly what the benefit is - it puts us in a separate perspective from which to see anything, whether it be sickness, wellness, or just a problem in front of us. Sure, I abused the stuff when I was a kid - always looking for the party - but this is not the Intent with which a mature person uses it.

 

As for the addiction part of it? Yeah, I guess I'm pretty well in its grasps. But the wonderful thing about it is that when you run out there are no side effects. It's just another day. Now with booze....that was a totally different thing.

 

At the risk of sounding like Charlie Sheen here....I'd say that the time has come to take what you want from AA - you have gained in ways we couldn't begin to count, haven't you? I think you're mature enough to step outside the boundaries that were pounded so necessarily into our heads when we first walked in through the AA doors. Release the fears that deny you the opportunity to experiment a little.

 

Are you aware that Bill Wilson ingested LSD (probably with Carl Jung) at around his 25th year of sobriety? He did this for spiritual purposes; he had outgrown the structure of the AA form, even though he was the one that started it. What an ego bending he must have taken when he did that! I do recall that maybe he stopped taking cakes or something for his birthday - I've done the same; I stopped taking cakes when I reintroduced pot, only because it would upset so many people within the program. And the newcomers certainly don't need to hear that it's possible to transcend the structure - at least not for quite a few years.

 

But this is where we truly have to ride the ox and find balance. Very best wishes to you, friend.

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I'd go for the cannabis.

 

I too have 30 years without booze, had 25 without pot. I reintroduced it 5 years ago for management of my PTSD condition, and I also found out that it was an amazing adjunct to shsmanic ceremony and getting instantly into the 2nd attention, if that makes any sense to you.

 

The general well-being that the cannabis will give to you lessens every type of pain you have in your body, including mental pain. My husband is a bipolar and, as such, he just refuses to do anything to make himself feel better, like take a Prozac or anything. He revels in his depths. Until he smokes a joint - suddenly it's as if he can't even remember what he was in such a snit about.

 

At this point in my post-police career (lol) I just can't say enough for the stuff. I wish to hell they would just legalize the stuff - I can't help but believe that every single person who took just one or two drags would see instantly what the benefit is - it puts us in a separate perspective from which to see anything, whether it be sickness, wellness, or just a problem in front of us. Sure, I abused the stuff when I was a kid - always looking for the party - but this is not the Intent with which a mature person uses it.

 

As for the addiction part of it? Yeah, I guess I'm pretty well in its grasps. But the wonderful thing about it is that when you run out there are no side effects. It's just another day. Now with booze....that was a totally different thing.

 

At the risk of sounding like Charlie Sheen here....I'd say that the time has come to take what you want from AA - you have gained in ways we couldn't begin to count, haven't you? I think you're mature enough to step outside the boundaries that were pounded so necessarily into our heads when we first walked in through the AA doors. Release the fears that deny you the opportunity to experiment a little.

 

Are you aware that Bill Wilson ingested LSD (probably with Carl Jung) at around his 25th year of sobriety? He did this for spiritual purposes; he had outgrown the structure of the AA form, even though he was the one that started it. What an ego bending he must have taken when he did that! I do recall that maybe he stopped taking cakes or something for his birthday - I've done the same; I stopped taking cakes when I reintroduced pot, only because it would upset so many people within the program. And the newcomers certainly don't need to hear that it's possible to transcend the structure - at least not for quite a few years.

 

But this is where we truly have to ride the ox and find balance. Very best wishes to you, friend.

 

I don't ever see myself swearing off mind-altering substances for good. I had sense enough at 21 to know that alcohol is fucking deadly and I quit. But I was in tremendous pain back then and blacking out every nikght for a year made sense on that level.

 

I'm confident that there will come a day when a certain amount of balance is achieved in my life (mostly the kind of balance I have now, but with more $$) that I may partake from time to time, but I haven't teased all that out yet. When I buy it at the clinic and it's in the house, I'm looking at my watch and asking my wife when she's leaving for work, so that I may fire up the second she's left the building. I want weekly, saturday afternoon smoking or brownie sessions with my screenplay collaborators and my bosu ball. But tonight I take a one-year no-pot pin, and it's been mighty fine and my wife and I have become extremely close.

 

And I don't want to be a pothead with my newborn come 9/30/11.

 

ps - I've had nothing but IBU and tylenol for twelve hours and I'm okay, so I guess this tunnel has been successfully navigated.

Edited by Blasto

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