Pride does not = Confidence

[Non]

Women.........

 

like to say that they want a man with Confidence. (ooooooh Confidence... [give me a break...])

 

Just the other day a woman was saying to me how relationships don't work unless one is secure in themselves... but she was bragging. Later I thought... well you need to be secure in yourself for just about Everything don't we? "so dont talk to me about having blablabla etc" lol. close to 99 % of people don't even have Real confidence. Do they think what they see as pride or a "selfish pride" is the same as "being secure in themselves", is this confidence?

 

Is being overly boastful and having "selfish" pride confidence?

 

Obviously what the hell do you think?

 

I wouldn't be asking this for nothing, because I do see this is a very common misunderstanding.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Non

[Non]

When a male is being "yin" (in relation to a yang), he is not necessarily being feminne (in relation to a masculine role) which is purely a societal construct a majority of the time.

 

Should we really judge one another? I would say it seems to me that most "yang" women aren't being judged about their own "yangness" nearly as much as many of the males are being judged on their own "yinness", and then it's commonly equated with roles of masculinity or femininity. At least for the males anyways.

 

It's very polarizing. You have masculine males then having sinister qualities... so that leaves better and more kinder, less harsh qualities as having a more yin and therefore feminine character.

 

Wait I thought evil was yin while good was yang.

:wacko:

See what I'm saying?

Edited March 11, 2011 by Non

[Stigweard]

 

How are those practice going that I shared with you?

 

[Mark Saltveit]

Women like to say that they want a man with Confidence. (ooooooh Confidence... [give me a break...])

 

I'm inclined to believe them when they say that. I mean, why would they lie?

 

Also, this bothers me much less than it used to (before I became confident). ;-) Sounds like a joke but it's true. Part of it was better balancing my physical and mental sides -- in college I was all in my head. And to be honest, I prefer a confident partner too. Wouldn't it be a bit worrisome if your love liked you insecure?

[Marblehead]

I will suggest that pride and confidence are two different concepts.

 

And boastful pride is self-destructive.

 

Just do what needs be done and keep your mouth shut.

[Non]

I will suggest that pride and confidence are two different concepts.

 

And boastful pride is self-destructive.

 

Just do what needs be done and keep your mouth shut.

 

Yes... well it probably isn't real pride which Im talking about anyways.

 

The woman I was talking to was telling me it's all about being secure in oneself yet she seems pretty yin (at least in comparison to him) with a very boastful boyfriend who likes to snicker a lot insult people and then look back at his girl as she smiles with glee and thinks "look what I did hehe."

 

Kinda reminds me of how another culture in the past used to impress females with a decapitated head of their enemies.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Non

[Non]

 

How are those practice going that I shared with you?

 

 

 

Well practicin the sun one, the prayer hasnt stuck with me though because I dnot have it written down yet.

 

I took too much renshen or I dont know what yesterday and I was overly yang,and a lot of the girls were just like "*sigh*, not today..." and I was like "what?" because I was making lots of jokes. THey were funny but they thought I wasn't being "serious" enough i guess.

 

I've also been taking lots of DHA and L-carnitine and mmy focus has improved TREMENDOUSLY to the point I can start participating in class more.

[Marblehead]

The woman I was talking to was telling me it's all about being secure in oneself yet she seems pretty yin with a very boastful boyfriend who likes to snicker a lot insult people and then look back at his girl as she smiles with glee and thinks "look what I did hehe."

 

 

Ah, a specific for me to speak to.

 

Yes, the guy is just being mean and the woman is experiencing Yang through him.

 

I think that these two would not be nice people to be around. (There is still one insulting person in my life that I am in the process of removing without causing any harm because I actually feel sorry for him.)

[Seth Ananda]

(There is still one insulting person in my life that I am in the process of removing without causing any harm because I actually feel sorry for him.)

 

Yeah sorry about that Brother, I try, but...

[Seth Ananda]

Women.........

 

like to say that they want a man with Confidence. (ooooooh Confidence... [give me a break...])

 

Just the other day a woman was saying to me how relationships don't work unless one is secure in themselves... but she was bragging. Later I thought... well you need to be secure in yourself for just about Everything don't we? "so dont talk to me about having blablabla etc" lol. close to 99 % of people don't even have Real confidence. Do they think what they see as pride or a "selfish pride" is the same as "being secure in themselves", is this confidence?

 

Is being overly boastful and having "selfish" pride confidence?

 

Obviously what the hell do you think?

 

I wouldn't be asking this for nothing, because I do see this is a very common misunderstanding.

Non, I am concerned about the misogynistic undertones of your threads. I get that you are angry at women for wanting something in men that you do not have yet.

But do not let your anger turn into rigid projections or you will only drive them away further.

And sure, women are attracted to confidence. I know because I am confident, and yes that goes well with the ladies. When I was a teenager I was so afraid of women and what they might think of me that I would cross the road to avoid walking past an [attractive] woman. As you can probably imagine, that did not go well with the ladies.

What changed? Well I started just focusing on the things I enjoy, I looked to find the things I wanted to 'Stand for' and slowly discovered my passions. I got good at these things eventually, which made me more confident. And one day I looked at myself and realised, I actually like myself and who I have become. This helped me relax more [which is a sign of true confidence] and now my life has been Blessed by the Goddess.

 

On the Yin Yang thing, It is good that you are yin, or sensitive. That's half the cake already done. Yanging up doesn't mean you cease being Yin, its just a further development of your qualities.

A Yang male who is cocky loud and Insulting will never really be able to make the Goddess melt and Open {tantricly speaking} but sure, certain women with less character development will still be attracted to Him. Usually women who are afraid of going or being taken deeper. That's fine for them at the stage they are at, but you do not need those women.

Most women crave Confident/ yang qualities in a man but also want to feel his heart and sensitive side as well.

 

In terms of getting your yang on, Have you tried acting and dress up, which can have a ritual magic like aspect to it? The western tradition would diagnose you as being low in Mars and Solar energies.

 

The remedy would be along the lines of:

*Wear Reds, yellows and gold. [or anything that makes you feel more fiery and Yang]

*Get some Bling with Gold, rubies, garnet, sulphur, Iron...

*Eat Spices, chilli's, garlic...

*Prey to or Invoke some Fiery Martial and Solar gods...

*Take up a martial art that jumps around and shouts a lot...

*Learn to express your anger without that whingy victim tone.

*Go and do some African drumming and play it loudly first thing each morning.

*Anything that sticks you out of your 'Yin only' comfort zone...

 

If any Chinese medicine people object and say that this will unbalance your Liver chi, tell them loudly to "STFU! I need to do this!" [despite the fact they may actually be right] Some times all it takes is the superficial change of looking different. Suddenly you can be someone different. That's magic, a change within the psyche.

 

Any way Even if you did this for only a month, you would experience radical change without turning into an Hot headed ass-hole.

 

If you lived in melbourne I would happily have you come stay for a week, and well...

lol.

 

Yang Up! Respek!

Seth.

 

Wait! Here is a days schedule.

 

Wake up- Drum! [beat it hard]

10 mins of fire breath then some stretching.

eat breackfast. Oats with apple, cinnamon and cayenne pepper.

Put on your bright red outfit and thick sulphur chunk necklace.

Do some sun prayer or meditation.

Go to some kind of screaming class or crazy shaking session - [must be highly vocally expressive]

Eat a Lamb Kebab.

digest a bit.

Go to a kick boxing ring where you can pad up and then punch on with someone. Awesome!

Do more Solar/Mars prayer.

Throughout the day say hi to every girl that walks past and give her a card with your Number, and 'tell' her to call.

Eat a Hot chilli dinner.

Hit the town, Do a line of coke [once], talk to everyone.

Go Home Late and play your drums like crazy till someone calls the police.

 

Change around whatever suits and Just do it.

 

Seth.

[Maddie]

I will suggest that pride and confidence are two different concepts.

 

And boastful pride is self-destructive.

 

Just do what needs be done and keep your mouth shut.

 

I've noticed that when people speak of pride they can often use one word to speak of two very differnt things. One version of pride is good, its the self respect that we all should have to be healthy. The other pride is more like arrogance and that is not so good.

I've also noticed that a lot of people with weak egos tend to over compensate for it with a front of pride, but thats pretty easy to see through.

[Non]

nothing turns a woman on more than a man putting down another man. We all thrive on this duality. If everything was perfect nobody would be being "turned on" because there has to be something to compare to ie "this is good, that is bad". If everything was good there would be nothing to compare.

 

Would woman be turned on if everything was "perfect?" Probably not, would that mean there would be no love though? I think not.

 

That's why neo-tantric sex and karezza do not focus on being "turned on". THis is probably way different a sexuality than modern sexual practices of common society. "The male and female become One" all 2s or 3 are 1.

 

Probably just conceptual but it's probably egoless too. Therefore modern sexuality thrives on ego and lust which breeds fear.

[Non]

Non, I am concerned about the misogynistic undertones of your threads. I get that you are angry at women for wanting something in men that you do not have yet.

But do not let your anger turn into rigid projections or you will only drive them away further.

And sure, women are attracted to confidence. I know because I am confident, and yes that goes well with the ladies. When I was a teenager I was so afraid of women and what they might think of me that I would cross the road to avoid walking past an [attractive] woman. As you can probably imagine, that did not go well with the ladies.

What changed? Well I started just focusing on the things I enjoy, I looked to find the things I wanted to 'Stand for' and slowly discovered my passions. I got good at these things eventually, which made me more confident. And one day I looked at myself and realised, I actually like myself and who I have become. This helped me relax more [which is a sign of true confidence] and now my life has been Blessed by the Goddess.

 

On the Yin Yang thing, It is good that you are yin, or sensitive. That's half the cake already done. Yanging up doesn't mean you cease being Yin, its just a further development of your qualities.

A Yang male who is cocky loud and Insulting will never really be able to make the Goddess melt and Open {tantricly speaking} but sure, certain women with less character development will still be attracted to Him. Usually women who are afraid of going or being taken deeper. That's fine for them at the stage they are at, but you do not need those women.

Most women crave Confident/ yang qualities in a man but also want to feel his heart and sensitive side as well.

 

In terms of getting your yang on, Have you tried acting and dress up, which can have a ritual magic like aspect to it? The western tradition would diagnose you as being low in Mars and Solar energies.

 

The remedy would be along the lines of:

*Wear Reds, yellows and gold. [or anything that makes you feel more fiery and Yang]

*Get some Bling with Gold, rubies, garnet, sulphur, Iron...

*Eat Spices, chilli's, garlic...

*Prey to or Invoke some Fiery Martial and Solar gods...

*Take up a martial art that jumps around and shouts a lot...

*Learn to express your anger without that whingy victim tone.

*Go and do some African drumming and play it loudly first thing each morning.

*Anything that sticks you out of your 'Yin only' comfort zone...

 

If any Chinese medicine people object and say that this will unbalance your Liver chi, tell them loudly to "STFU! I need to do this!" [despite the fact they may actually be right] Some times all it takes is the superficial change of looking different. Suddenly you can be someone different. That's magic, a change within the psyche.

 

Any way Even if you did this for only a month, you would experience radical change without turning into an Hot headed ass-hole.

 

If you lived in melbourne I would happily have you come stay for a week, and well...

lol.

 

Yang Up! Respek!

Seth.

 

Wait! Here is a days schedule.

 

Wake up- Drum! [beat it hard]

10 mins of fire breath then some stretching.

eat breackfast. Oats with apple, cinnamon and cayenne pepper.

Put on your bright red outfit and thick sulphur chunk necklace.

Do some sun prayer or meditation.

Go to some kind of screaming class or crazy shaking session - [must be highly vocally expressive]

Eat a Lamb Kebab.

digest a bit.

Go to a kick boxing ring where you can pad up and then punch on with someone. Awesome!

Do more Solar/Mars prayer.

Throughout the day say hi to every girl that walks past and give her a card with your Number, and 'tell' her to call.

Eat a Hot chilli dinner.

Hit the town, Do a line of coke [once], talk to everyone.

Go Home Late and play your drums like crazy till someone calls the police.

 

Change around whatever suits and Just do it.

 

Seth.

 

 

I know, confidence is attractive. That's not a problem. But most people think it's for different reasons. Confidence is attractive more in relation to the "law of attraction" or polarity. The more you want something thee more you confirm you don't have it. When you stop wanting it (ie being confident) you get to have it.

 

Also when you're not confident even if something comes to you, you will subconsciously reject it, or avoid it. So of course confidence can be attractive. But can the opposite be attractive also, if a person does it right? THere are people who aren't really too confident yet are still attractive.

 

But I dont think it necessarily has to do with being more yang than yin and vice versa unless spoken of relative to smtg else or playing "masculine" or "feminine" role. It's usually cultural conditioning and most don't even know what they're agreeing/agressing to is the archetypes they are referring to.

 

Ok, all good right? Well it's hard,and don't tell me it's not. Most people haven't gotten to that level, and if they do they do it unconsciously most of the time. Because we are all raised in Ego and Want/desire and Lust.

 

Doesn't always mean you're a bad person though. It just might mean you are mislead. The majority of society is this way, even "good" people.

 

As for helping me in my solar energies and mars... yes indeed. I don't think Chinese Medicine would say it's bad. In fact my professor says "instead of getting mad, shout, that treats the [specified] organ". I forgot which organ.

 

Martial arts I've taken up, ie kung fu.I painted my room yellow for some reason though I wanted to paint it earthyish color, and stuck with it. Might not be so good feng shui.

 

I still try to do the yang stuff bit but walking outside seems such a drag. I'd rather go to the park and practice kung fu, which I think of doing often when I have time.

 

oh shiz.. gotta go. Sorry if this reply is incomplete.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Non

[Marblehead]

Yeah sorry about that Brother, I try, but...

 

Not you. Hehehe.

 

Actually it is my most recent ex-wife's hysband. (I allowed a friendship to evolve where I should not have and it really is not a true friendship.)

[Marblehead]

I've noticed that when people speak of pride they can often use one word to speak of two very differnt things. One version of pride is good, its the self respect that we all should have to be healthy. The other pride is more like arrogance and that is not so good.

I've also noticed that a lot of people with weak egos tend to over compensate for it with a front of pride, but thats pretty easy to see through.

 

Valid, I think, what you have said.

[Encephalon]

Sorry if this reply is incomplete.

 

Yep, it's incomplete all right. People do their best to call attention to your rampant misogyny and your practice of projecting your own self-hatred onto others, particularly women, and time and again the subject just seems to bounce off your forehead.

 

I also find your practice of exploiting your victimhood in order to solicit sympathy profoundly repugnant, but nevertheless, you seem to perform a critical function in here. I can't imagine a woman who would regularly vilify men being allowed to continue for more than a couple of weeks, and yet you've been getting away with it for a year and a half.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Blasto

[Cognizance]

To OP,

 

I usually find that women tend to mix up confidence with arrogance a lot. I do not know whether it's because of the emotional instability (drama) or mob mentality that attracts them to these men. Having said that, they always end up complaining about them. Of course not all women are like that, but those that are insecure with themselves tend to go this route. And they always assume that you want to listen to them talk about these things LOL.

 

I find girls that are secure with themselves extremely attractive. No need to put make up all the time or dress in a provocative manner. No need to straighten their hair everyday. But hygeine is a must .

[Non]

Yep, it's incomplete all right. People do their best to call attention to your rampant misogyny and your practice of projecting your own self-hatred onto others, particularly women, and time and again the subject just seems to bounce off your forehead.

 

I also find your practice of exploiting your victimhood in order to solicit sympathy profoundly repugnant, but nevertheless, you seem to perform a critical function in here. I can't imagine a woman who would regularly vilify men being allowed to continue for more than a couple of weeks, and yet you've been getting away with it for a year and a half.

 

actually I can't read all the replies. Some of my recent threads have gotten so many replies, and Im busy so no I dont read them nor reply to every single one of them.

[Encephalon]

actually I can't read all the replies. Some of my recent threads have gotten so many replies, and Im busy so no I dont read them nor reply to every single one of them.

 

[sean]

yes, Non, i believe you've gotten enough solid advice from the generous community here around this theme to make a choice, pick some practices and commit to working through these issues.

 

let's not use the main taoist discussion area as a public journal.

 

i've gone ahead and created a shiny new personal practice forum for you, if you feel the need to create additional topics on this theme please do so there.

 

i'm sincerely looking forward to reading about your progress through these issues and on the Way in general Non.

 

best,

sean