is life just the epitome of suffering?

[ralis]

Well it's comments like yours that just don't help at all.

 

If you think for one minute that everything is just love and light, then think again. The universe doesn't work that way and life isn't fair in anyway shape or form. Don't take my word for it. Just observe the workings of nature and draw your own conclusions without prejudice. Women are biologically hard wired for procreation and no matter what radical feminists, spiritual teachers or whomever tells you, that is the way it is. Any text on evolutionary biology will confirm that fact. The drive to reproduce will generally override all other rationality in humans and the choice in mates always appears irrational. Always, there are many hurt feelings in this process. That is just life!

Edited April 11, 2011 by ralis

[Sloppy Zhang]

Well it's comments like yours that just don't help at all.

 

Non, failure is a part of life. It's guaranteed that a man will, EVENTUALLY, at least ONCE, fail utterly and miserably with a woman. He will feel like there is no hope for tomorrow. Chances are also good that this failure will happen MULTIPLE times.

 

So what separates the losers from the winners?

 

The losers quit after they fail.

 

The winners keep trying until they succeed, then they repeat winning strategies for as long as they so choose and as long as the strategies keep them winning.

 

Toss what fails, use what works. Speaking for myself here, if I tell someone to "grow a pair", I mean, realize that failure is part of life, but part of growing up and becoming an adult (in my case, an adult male) means to realize that you either move on, or you don't.

 

Even winners have failed, they just win more than they lose.

 

Losers lose more, and hardly ever win, because they just don't try as often.

 

It's the numbers.

 

A loser might have lost 3 times, won 0, and tried 3 times.

 

A winner might have lost 3 times, won 100 times, and tried 103 times.

[ralis]

One of Ken Wilbur's buddies has written some books on maleness and I don't remember his name. Anyone know who it is?

 

I found it.

 

I don't agree with everything he has to say. However, his book "Way of the Superior Man" has some excellent points that I use all the time.

 

 

http://www.deida.info/books-and-audio-david-deida

Edited April 11, 2011 by ralis

[effilang]

Is this thread exclusively about women? I thought we were talking about life sucking in general : )

[rex]

One of Ken Wilbur's buddies has written some books on maleness and I don't remember his name. Anyone know who it is?

 

 

Robert Bly? or Sam Keen?

Edited April 11, 2011 by rex

[ralis]

Is this thread exclusively about women? I thought we were talking about life sucking in general : )

 

Women can make life very difficult!

[Jetsun]

Life doesn't always suck, just look at this dog he's having a good time

 

[Wells]

So what separates the losers from the winners?

 

The losers quit after they fail.

 

The winners keep trying until they succeed, then they repeat winning strategies for as long as they so choose and as long as the strategies keep them winning.

 

Losers lose more, and hardly ever win, because they just don't try as often.

 

It's the numbers.

 

A loser might have lost 3 times, won 0, and tried 3 times.

 

A winner might have lost 3 times, won 100 times, and tried 103 times.

A winner is a winner by nature...or develops himself in a way that will make him win.

It doesn't matter how many times you try. Trying often doesn't at all unavoidably lead to success! When you don't develop a winner's personality, it doesn't matter how often you try. Because then you will only lose again and again and again...forever!

Become what a woman desires (see my last post for hints for Yin guys) and you win. Don't and you lose every time you try.

 

Edit: BTW, "developing strategies" could be interpreted as "pretend". At some point you will have to prove and pretending will not get you beyond that point...because at that point you will lose again.

Edited April 11, 2011 by Dorian Black

[rookie]

Non, dude, buddy, it looks like you are making this harder on yourself.

On the one hand, there is what happens, and on the other there is your interpretation of it.

I suggest that your interpretation is making you feel worse and feeding a cycle.

 

Breaking the cycle is needed, but hopefully in a way that makes your experience better, not worse.

Since I don't know your personal situation, I just hope you are not involved in any substance abuse.

If you are that should be number one concern.

Also, if there are any suicidal thoughts, get help now, and there are free ways of getting that help.

 

Assuming those are not present, I would suggest starting with something that would make you feel better, just right now, some experience that you like and can do without thinking about stuff.

Sit in the sun.

Talk to an old friend.

Take a walk.

Make a tasty meal.

Go to a movie.

Pet your dog, or get one. They are great at giving unconditional love and companionship.

 

Try this for a few days. Look at yourself as another person, say you are an Uncle to yourself who cares about you. What does this young man need? What would you do to help someone like you, what would you do to help you looking at yourself objectively?

 

(this will be my attempt at playing this role)

 

I can tell you this. You need to be able to be happy alone, with yourself and by yourself, first. For a while, just work on having fun, being happy and healthy. Try to find some peace.

 

There is only one thing you need to know about women right now. Most women rate kindness very highly as a necessary quality for a long term partner. But you must be reasonably happy with yourself before anyone healthy will allow you to be close to them. Then, once you are happy with yourself, and probably not thinking about it, a woman will gravitate towards you, and you can try it out, but don't think it is a one shot deal. This cycle will go on.

 

 

If you cannot do some simple things that make yourself feel good, if your thoughts are always about what you do not have or cannot do, and you cannot break the cycle, then seriously go talk to somebody who can help with depression. Sometimes meds are better than depression for some folks.

 

you need to make a change my friend

this is the best I can do to help from here

 

peace

[三江源]

click your amygdala

 

 

to see how easy it is to modify your usual mood/perception base

[Simple_Jack]

.

Edited February 5, 2014 by Simple_Jack

[rookie]

click your amygdala

 

 

to see how easy it is to modify your usual mood/perception base

 

So cat, have you tried this?

looks interesting, but also "has the look" of one of those "just click here and for 49.99 all your problems are solved" type of thing LOL

 

but seriously, have you purchased it and vouch for it?

[Marblehead]

Good to see Y'all are still suffering. Liberation is just around the corner but you need to know which way to turn when you get to the corner.

[Non]

see.. I thought ALL EGO was wrong, ie not good.

 

To have a self is different though, but ultimately identifying oneself with the worldly self is wrong.

 

EGO I thogh were the negative effects of wrongly identifying the true self with the worldly self.

[Non]

btw if it seems like everything you guys are saying goes in one ear and out the other, I understand.

 

I'm going to make a point to read every single post on every one of my threads I've made that I've missed because of scheduling and time issues. In about a couple weeks when I have more free time.

 

REgards

 

oh yea ps: im not going to deny that I did prefer to read some with ease but others not.

Edited April 12, 2011 by Non

[三江源]

So cat, have you tried this?

looks interesting, but also "has the look" of one of those "just click here and for 49.99 all your problems are solved" type of thing LOL

 

but seriously, have you purchased it and vouch for it?

 

hi rookie, I have tried it and yes it works. I didnt purchase anything though, I just read how to click my amygdala, and did it. It's easy. It lifts your mood instantaneously.

 

Lately I've been listening to lectures by Todd Murphy on neuroscience and spirituality, one of the interesting things he pointed out which I didnt know is that the two side of the amygdala when stimulated create different feelings. One side creates a varying spectrum of response ranging from a sense that some presence is there with you, and degrees of that sensation, all the way to a full on sense of God, Bliss, Light, Divinity. The other side when stimulated creates a sense of fear and doom, a sense of impending calamity. Sooo interesting about the amount of people who get the "I found God" and at the same time start wearing sandwich boards reading "The end is Nigh"

 

I also heard, elsewhere, that an enlarged amygdala equates with a high level of creativity, and that enlarged amygdala is also often found amongst homosexuals.

[三江源]

here's Neil Slade explaining it

 

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=Gd8Zmx3Jmlk

[Non]

Ive tried so hard to click my amygdala a number of times. Perhaps I just needed more consistency and just more practice.

 

I think I've gotten some effects similar to clicking but I never felt a "click" or a "pop".

 

more like being able to will adrenaline and exciting feelings rising to my head from my lower spine (conracting sorta). It isn't that much either because I'm working on that one... It can be exhausting. Usually if I have a motive to make me feel adrenaline that works.. as to the happy feelings I'd have to associate the rush with that.

 

Also just smiling makes me feel better.

Edited April 12, 2011 by Non

[三江源]

Ive tried so hard to click my amygdala a number of times. Perhaps I just needed more consistency and just more practice.

 

I think I've gotten some effects similar to clicking but I never felt a "click" or a "pop".

 

more like being able to will adrenaline and exciting feelings rising to my head from my lower spine (conracting sorta).

 

Yes, you dont have to try so hard. Just r e l a x into it, enjoy tickling it and r e l a x.

[Non]

also, I never got around to finding exactly WHERE he has the technique or method to actually click the amygdala forward.

 

I kinda thought it was just imagining a feather tickling the area forward until it fills up with all this momentum and and critical mass that it just ends up clicking.

[Non]

i guess I'll have to just buy the book one of these days.

[InfinityTruth]

Women don't make the man. If you think all there is to life is women, and relationships then you need to suffer. That's a woman's mindset. You're feminine just for thinking that way.

 

Your perspective is the epitome of suffering. Not life. Quit being emo, and do something.

 

Invest in your life. Take a martial art. That will make you mentally strong as well as physically. Women don't like negative loser types of men. Can you blame them? You don't need to be stuck. Work on yourself and your personality until you are strong enough to be a real man.

 

Earn the title. You'll appreciate it that much more.

Edited April 12, 2011 by InfinityTruth

[ralis]

see.. I thought ALL EGO was wrong, ie not good.

 

To have a self is different though, but ultimately identifying oneself with the worldly self is wrong.

 

EGO I thogh were the negative effects of wrongly identifying the true self with the worldly self.

 

 

Lighten up man! There is no right or wrong way. Quit listening to the ego bashers, as if they know anything.

Edited April 13, 2011 by ralis

[Marblehead]

Lighten up man! There is no right or wrong way. Quite listening to the ego bashers, as if they know anything.

 

Grrrr! The poker-faced one has spoken!

[Cat Pillar]

hi rookie, I have tried it and yes it works. I didnt purchase anything though, I just read how to click my amygdala, and did it. It's easy. It lifts your mood instantaneously.

 

Lately I've been listening to lectures by Todd Murphy on neuroscience and spirituality, one of the interesting things he pointed out which I didnt know is that the two side of the amygdala when stimulated create different feelings. One side creates a varying spectrum of response ranging from a sense that some presence is there with you, and degrees of that sensation, all the way to a full on sense of God, Bliss, Light, Divinity. The other side when stimulated creates a sense of fear and doom, a sense of impending calamity. Sooo interesting about the amount of people who get the "I found God" and at the same time start wearing sandwich boards reading "The end is Nigh"

 

I also heard, elsewhere, that an enlarged amygdala equates with a high level of creativity, and that enlarged amygdala is also often found amongst homosexuals.

 

Did you use the feather tickling technique thing? Cuz I can't seem to get it to work...