is life just the epitome of suffering?

[Non]

Did you use the feather tickling technique thing? Cuz I can't seem to get it to work...

 

Me neither.

[C T]

Should life be perceived as life, which then implies birth (of life) and death (of same life), then suffering is imminent.

 

Try viewing life without the words. Delimit your verbal and intellectual assessments of life in an attempt to live life instead of talking about it. You might be surprised at how such an exercise could bring you to the threshold of bliss and clarity, almost as if one is on a constant verge of orgasming, yet never really peaking. Gradually, the pleasurable feelings comes wave after wave, unending, always one followed by another and another. When this is experienced, then the next exercise is the challenge to drop even this ecstatic practice. Then you might get a glimpse of what is meant by the words, "No birth, no old age, no death". Such a realization is like tasting the nectar of immortality, and instead of hankering after this higher, more exquisite and sublime experience, which creates yet another round of craving, albeit a higher and subtler one, this too, is abandoned after a while. IF you can achieve this, not much can harm you or dislodge you from your center. You remain awake, without the need for much analysis, approval, and your fervent seeking and self-loathing will dissipate.

 

If you insist on remaining depressed, at least use this need mindfully, and learn something from this present state of yours. By all means, be the depression - set aside two hours a day exclusively for indulging and wallowing in despair. Then when the time is up, get up and go about your business with a gladder outlook. Its harder than it sounds - this voluntary, consciously aware act of actually wanting to be depressed within a limited daily timeframe. So the next time you feel down, dont welcome it or reject it - just be with it without any judgements or analysis, and observe what takes place inside you.

[Simple_Jack]

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Edited February 5, 2014 by Simple_Jack

[Simple_Jack]

.

Edited February 5, 2014 by Simple_Jack

[Immortal4life]

I found a video giving advice useful for Non.

 

 

"Because there's only one possible reason a girl would turn down a random stranger trying to pick her up."

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81426681/?lt=em

[gendao]

[Non]

Actually Dorian Black I consider you quite yang. Any sign of positivity is a yang feature. Yin people have more of a tendency to be negative while yang have more of a tendency to be positive.

 

You may be yin, or somewhat yin, but I may be more yinner than you are. You might actually be quite balanced somewhat.

 

A yin within yang or something.

 

Maybe there is somethinglike the tri-dosha system in TCM. Kinda like how there is a difference between kapha-pitta and pitta-kapha and not having anything to do with gender.

Edited April 15, 2011 by Non

[Non]

Woah, woah; hold on there ralis. If someone isn't developing the four immeasurables of: Loving-Kindness, Compassion, Empathetic Joy, and Equanimity in their cultivation; then I would say that they aren't progressing along the path.

 

Though, I don't know where people got the idea that you become a stoic automaton that lacks a personality, sense of humor or whatever.

 

Like I said before: You're just getting rid of all the negative, "evil", or non-virtuous aspects of "you," and letting shine forth all the positive, "good," of "you." Virtuous behaviour then spontaneously shines through your day-to-day activity and in your interpersonal relationships with friends, loved ones, enemy's, and neutral people around you.

 

I might agree with that. I guess I see it like this: when I get angry I don't want to direct towards people because I feel like it might temporarily solve a problem but it won't completely. Other people can just not care and direct anger towards people attempt to control, etc. But me I'm usually set up with more resistance. So I need to take educated action. I may be ADD though sometimes so mabe that's why I'm not so witty. Usually though in the face of such an emotion as anger I tense up uncontrollably ready to lash out. Should I? Or should I try and control myself, or would I look weaker? Yea I usually feel like lashing out because the other person is making me look weak, but lashing out would make me even worse... so what happens? I end up the little bitch.

 

But one day when I get the strong heart and strong mind, and learn to defend myself against such psychic attacks WITH LOVE, yet not taking "shit", then I would be stronger than a person who just directs anger towards people.

 

 

Or at least it would be some kind of skill that is different. Unconventional.

 

When someone verbally or psychically attacks me I don't know how to react to that thing. Or an insult etc. I try to be objective though and I usually end up taking the piss and being really tense. What do I do with it? I punch walls until my hands bleed and I have bruises or a break something.

 

Cause what the hell, why fight?

 

Why cant I just diffuse it?

 

Maybe I'm just not able to handle such things without violence? It's smarter to handle these things without violence. In a more primitive era I cuold have just bashed in someone's head but now? I have to have verbal wit. I have to see things objectively and clearly (but my mental state has been retarded and slow somewhat). Then people just think I'm weak when maybe I'm just mentally inept or something.

 

Or I might have different beleifs, and I want to be more defensive than offensive. I don't know.

 

All I know is that all my life I've never made fun of someone. I've always been the one being made fun of, and insulted. I never called anyone names. OK,maybe that has been a bit different since I start takling about women. but in the end I am always sorry, and I regret it and try to make amends. I always want to give respect, even to my enemies. Others are just like "forget that". I know how it feels to get thebad end of the stick. So I try my best notto do it to others.

 

Maybe I'm just not understanding their situation. Maybe they're really just not agreeing with me, or angry with me. maybe I'm just doing something wrong. I'm always looking at myself. Even so if it's just me (and it's "Always?" me isn't it?) why must they insult me, or get offensive, or betray me and disrespect me? Others would say "hell no, I would get up in their face.

 

Maybe I dont have the balls?

 

Think about it though. Are you sure? I have balls, physically anyways... andI do have balls for some things,just others not. Like this kind of stuff. Maybe it's a zang fu organ dysfunction, maybe it's just inexperience. I need to get hurt more, suffer more. Until I say "IM NOT AKING IT ANYMORE".

 

Maybe I need to take up some leader role, and manage people. Tell them what to do, and earn how to atempt to control people... before I can contorl myslf?

 

I can defend myself sure... but to be on the offense. Especialyl when I feel like people should know already. It's too trivial and stupid to care about but guess what, in the end, I'm judged as weak. By EVERYONE. I might not care myself, but in the end, I have to defend some stupid 'reputation'. Especially shen? (I dunno if that was a Freud slip, but Im leaving it there). ESPECIALLY when it comes to woman. She will judge you as non-alpha, alpha, etc. It's just such BS.

 

I know what I am. But then women determine who you are because in the end they are the ones to withdraw their care, and I end up alone.

 

When I need to defend myself, physically.. I like to think I can do that. But when it comes to thnigs like a "reputation", whatever... it's just unecessary. Disrespect, is just dumb.

 

What, so a person appears weak? What so a person appears like he's havin trouble. Whenyou see a crippled person do you laugh at him, and make him feel stupid about it?

 

Do you want to know why I dont say or "do" anythni about it? maybe it's because I get too angry. Maybe it's because I could just go crazy. What if I could kill? Do you want me to go crazy? You don't. Maybe I'll just stumble over myself in the attempt. OK, so I'm taking the piss for you. And for me. and it hurts.

 

Becaue I dont know hwo to handle the infernal energies inside me.

 

To defend my "stupid fcking reputation". For OTHERS to like me.

 

Or maybe I'm just too stupid or careless to know why I should be more aggressive in that I need to unecessary hurt others as well as myself. Do I need to go ordering poeple around, telling them what to do?

 

am I just bein irresposible and lazy?

 

OK im done with this post.

 

Sorry for the rant and crazy speak.

 

- yinner than you

Edited April 15, 2011 by Non

[Non]

my professor told me I am very yin. I was sad after hearing this.. and angry. He told me.. it doesn't have to be bad. Thjat people like me are just providing a different perspective. People will say "qi is yang" but I will say "qi is yin". He told me that if I make use of my yin-ness I can become very powerful.

 

I thought... yin just means that I am imbalanced.. or weak, or I have a disease which makes me yin. He said... that's in my head.

 

Now I still think that is succumbing to what is imbalanced. Is that my constitution for my whole life? Is my whole life supposed to entail seeking balance for my yin, because isn't that what all people do? But I know.. it seems yin males are quite rare, and especially women liking yin men even moreso.

Edited April 15, 2011 by Non

[thelerner]

I'm pretty Yin. Yin is good. It's cool, literally .

 

Still it was good to do martial arts to broaden myself. It can be very grounding. A good workout does wonders for the mind and body. Find a good club near you. Maybe one where you get a real work out.

 

My 2 cents.

[ralis]

@Non,

 

There is nothing wrong with being more yin. Look at these musicians. Most male musicians are. These guys are babe magnets. Take a look at the music threads from a few weeks back and you will see what I mean.

 

Robert Plant is very yin and still is. I saw him two years ago live. Absolutely incredible!

 

The third link is actually a better version. However, it won't imbed properly.

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flcF4vNa61U

 

 

http://www.guitar-tube.com/watch/led-zeppelin-since-been-loving-you

Edited April 15, 2011 by ralis

[Non]

I'm pretty Yin. Yin is good. It's cool, literally .

 

Still it was good to do martial arts to broaden myself. It can be very grounding. A good workout does wonders for the mind and body. Find a good club near you. Maybe one where you get a real work out.

 

My 2 cents.

 

yea I take up martial arts and some pretty yang Qigong like Hua Shan Pai Qigong.

[3L3VAT3]

stop trying to figure things out in your depressed state...

 

do some physical activity that will MAKE you more yang!!

 

Hit some free weights!!!

 

It'll get the serotonnin and dopamine and whatever else going and you'll feel SO much better,

 

and your thoughts will magically get more positive!!

 

plus, taking ACTION is a yang trait!!

 

Your obviously not happy but YOU gotta DO something to improve (other than thinking-thinking-thinking)

[Dainin]

Non, if you are attending TCM school, I sincerely hope that you work out your issues before you begin the clinical phase. I don't think that it would be ethical for you to needle anyone (and especially women) with your current mindset.

 

That being said, it sounds like you are taking some steps in the right direction, e.g. kung fu classes, etc. Good luck...

[Wells]

Actually Dorian Black I consider you quite yang. Any sign of positivity is a yang feature. Yin people have more of a tendency to be negative while yang have more of a tendency to be positive.

 

You may be yin, or somewhat yin, but I may be more yinner than you are. You might actually be quite balanced somewhat.

 

A yin within yang or something.

I guess that you have not too much Yin, maybe your amount of Yin is quite normal. But I guess you have not enough Yang, a Yang deficit.

I had a Yang deficit once too and I got rid of it through Yang-dominant nutrition (a good pot of coffee with milk and sugar in the morning with ham and eggs. For lunch always RED MEAT with cooked potatoes/fries and cooked (=Yang) vegetables. For supper: A McDonald's menue (again warm food with meat!) or bread with ham. Works great for me and will work great for everybody else to get more Yang!

my professor told me I am very yin. I was sad after hearing this.. and angry. He told me.. it doesn't have to be bad. Thjat people like me are just providing a different perspective. People will say "qi is yang" but I will say "qi is yin". He told me that if I make use of my yin-ness I can become very powerful.

A vampire has very much Yin. That makes him powerful, gives him "magnetic" forces, magical insight and influence so to speak. So nobody would estimate a vampire being weak although being extremely Yin. On the contrary! It's an extremely powerful archetype! So no chance in hell that a person with very much Yin could be weak as a result!

I thought... yin just means that I am imbalanced.. or weak, or I have a disease which makes me yin. He said... that's in my head.

Yeah, you refuse to enforce your personality against others or outer circumstances! That deprives you of your Yang or inhibits your Yang! There is no Yang energy flow coming from you to the outside.

Now I still think that is succumbing to what is imbalanced. Is that my constitution for my whole life? Is my whole life supposed to entail seeking balance for my yin, because isn't that what all people do? But I know.. it seems yin males are quite rare, and especially women liking yin men even moreso.

I don't think you have too much Yin or the Yin of a female! You suppress your Yang, keep it deep inside buried in your Yin, that's all! Learn to groar!

Still it was good to do martial arts to broaden myself. It can be very grounding. A good workout does wonders for the mind and body. Find a good club near you. Maybe one where you get a real work out.

stop trying to figure things out in your depressed state...

 

do some physical activity that will MAKE you more yang!!

 

Hit some free weights!!!

Yeah, maybe your main problem is more to "get physical" than to "get Yang". Maybe one leads to the other. So it's very good advice, do martial arts or weight lifting, that's as Yang as activities can get!

Lifting weights worked wonders for me to get more Yang! Your muscles become denser and bigger, you become stronger and faster, you can defend yourself if you have to! So your self assurance will grow! BTW, you become more attractive and your body appears more manly. Heavy and explosive but short workouts cause peaks in testosterone production, that's scientific proven. BTW, enforcing your personality against others leads also to peak production of testosterone! So martial arts in the beginning might be bad because you are the worst in the club when you are new. But when you are experienced and win against others, it would be great for you!

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

 

A vampire has very much Yin. That makes him powerful, gives him "magnetic" forces, magical insight and influence so to speak. So nobody would estimate a vampire being weak although being extremely Yin. On the contrary! It's an extremely powerful archetype! So no chance in hell that a person with very much Yin could be weak as a result!

 

 

 

 

Great point, Dorian.

[Simple_Jack]

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Edited February 5, 2014 by Simple_Jack

[gendao]

I might agree with that. I guess I see it like this: when I get angry I don't want to direct towards people because I feel like it might temporarily solve a problem but it won't completely. Other people can just not care and direct anger towards people attempt to control, etc. But me I'm usually set up with more resistance. So I need to take educated action. I may be ADD though sometimes so mabe that's why I'm not so witty. Usually though in the face of such an emotion as anger I tense up uncontrollably ready to lash out. Should I? Or should I try and control myself, or would I look weaker? Yea I usually feel like lashing out because the other person is making me look weak, but lashing out would make me even worse... so what happens? I end up the little bitch.

 

Or at least it would be some kind of skill that is different. Unconventional.

 

When someone verbally or psychically attacks me I don't know how to react to that thing. Or an insult etc. I try to be objective though and I usually end up taking the piss and being really tense. What do I do with it? I punch walls until my hands bleed and I have bruises or a break something.

 

Why cant I just diffuse it?

 

Maybe I'm just not able to handle such things without violence? It's smarter to handle these things without violence.

Well, go back a little further first... Why do you get angry in the first place?

 

Again, it is usually because someone pushes your personal hot button - triggering your core unresolved issue in life. Case-in-point:

my professor told me I am very yin. I was sad after hearing this.. and angry.

When you get overemotional about something - the real problem always lies within YOU. In your case - you obviously have a complex concerning gender polarity. So, any remarks or events that press on that emotional trigger point will hurt (and anger you) the most.

 

Of course, this is only life's wonderful way of forcing you to confront your karmic life lesson - via the "Law Of Attention" - where events (aka "sh*t") will manifest specifically to attract your due attention.

 

So, instead of worrying about how to channel your anger - the better solution is to transcend that dilemna altogether and work on resolving the issue UNDERLYING your anger. Then, you won't get angry anymore to BEGIN WITH. That's the REAL solution. Anger is merely the symptom, not the root cause here.

 

Again, this is all a journey of self-inquiry...

Edited April 15, 2011 by vortex

[Simple_Jack]

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Edited February 5, 2014 by Simple_Jack

[Wells]

Great point, Dorian.

Thanks, dude!

The reason why women often are more Yin than men:

As I learned from Waysun Liao, Chi can act Yin or Yang according to it's behavior or energy flow. According to that, we could call it "Yin Chi" and "Yang Chi". Yin chi has a contracting movement, goes inward towards the center of your body and into the inner organs, nourishing and supporting you from the inside. For example, the chi in the bone marrow is very yin and supports the production of blood cells. Yang chi on the other hand has an outward, expanding movement. It goes toward the limbs and the skin and also to the sensing organs like eyes, ears, nose(skin is also a sensing organ!)and mouth to feed that parts of your body with energy and to safeguard you against influences from the ourside. BTW your limbs and organs a referred to enable you to deal with the outside world (Yang)!

The main purpose in existence for women is to grow offspring INSIDE of them! That's a purely Yin process (the birth, the release of the offspring to the outer world is on the contrary a Yang act!), because you lead and amass nutrients and energy to the inner organ the womb. So during pregnancy the Yin energy flow in women is even more boosted. But also when not pregnant, a woman always has this tendency, her body is always ready to become pregnant, at least according to the energy flow (aside from the period, what is Yang). So that's the reason why women have normally more energy flowing toward the center than toward the periphery and that is the cause why women have a higher core temperature than man, more cold weak limbs without distinct muscles. In man, it's the other way around. Also: When you have more energy toward your periphery, as it is more often with men than with women, your disposal of chi to the outside is bigger. That's the reason why men die earlier (we are only talking statistics here, not individual cases!) than women: They burn out faster because they dispose their energy more to the outside...except when women produce much offspring! Ever noticed how a woman can blossom during pregnancy but suddenly seem "worn out" or "burned out" after she had given birth(or several births)to her offspring(after having released suddenly a high amount of her energy)? One could say a women lives always "on the back burner" so she has more energy to waste on healthy offspring!

 

Concerning male sexuality and Yin:

The ejaculation clearly is an act of Yang (and therefore a disposal/waste of your chi/life energy to the outside), but it's false to see male sexuality as a pure Yang business! Remember, giving birth and the period are parts of the female sexuality but extremely Yang processes. So the male sexuality must have it's Yin side too. Well, Yang can only dispose the energy that Yin has amassed, so I argue that everything BEFORE the ejaculation in male sexuality is Yin; namely spermproduction, prostate fluid production AND ERECTION are the Yin traits of the male sexuality. One could argue: Why erection? Doesn't the blood flows to the periphery of the body, to some kind of fifth limb? Yes, but firstly, erection is an act of your PARASYMPATHETIC nervous system, that controls your Yin processes in your body (I guess anybody here knows that). Ejaculation on the contrary is controlled by your SYMPATHETIC nervous system that controls all of the Yang processes in your body. I guess that should be proof enough! Also, the erection is the time span when mostly the amassing of nervous energy and ejaculate production/amassing occurs! That should now convince everybody.

So, that means that a guy with a high amount of Yang may be more "potent" in terms of being able to ejaculate often or many times in a row. But a guy with a high amount of Yin may be more "potent" in terms of being able to have longer and harder erections (and producing more semen)!

So I guess it's not bad to be a man with a high amount of Yin Chi after all!

 

So, my dear ladies, after reading my remarks, would you prefer a guy with above average Yang energy...or one with above average Yin energy...?

Edited April 16, 2011 by Dorian Black

[Immortal4life]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc8qTguQiu4&NR=1&feature=fvwp

[johndoe2012]

Read I Am That

 

or Law of Attention

 

or books by Nirmala

Nothing Personal

 

or...many other books.

[zerostao]

Non,

Do you consider yourself to be an empath?

[Non]

Sorry, Non, I don't mean to actually tell someone "Fuck you," in one of those situations. What I meant is you sometimes have to swallow your pride, and just be like: "Forget it, this isn't worth it." Though I'm sure you already know this.

 

I don't pretend to be a wise person or enlightened or anything, I'm still learning, and I still tend to act like a shithead most of the time.

 

All I can say is you gotta know how to adapt; learn how to handle life's circumstances being thrown at you. You should also learn to keep mindful of your mind, body, and speech at all times. That way you're more likely to be in control in life and in it's situations.

 

Listen to Vortex's and others posts, they're giving you way better advice than me.

 

 

Yes.. the anger is what I have to learn to subdue.

 

The reason why I don't "express" is that I have misplaced anger. Like my professor says.. why get angry? Why not just shout? When shouting might be what one of the zang organs require... I forgot which one(s). So it just gives another perspective.

 

So it's not actually that telling someone "fuck you" is wrong.. it might be moreso how you say it. If you project anger, that's insecurity. If you say it without the anger that is stronger, more balanced, and might work better than projecting anger which might just bounce back to you.

 

So until I can control my anger I am afraid of expressing... because I know it usually ends up biting me back in the ass... Regardless of when people say "dude do something about it"... because if I'm angry/frustrated/insecure there's no point in "doing"...

 

You can "do something" about it all you want but if you do it with the negative mindstate it will be counter-productive. But I fear too much...

Edited April 16, 2011 by Non

[三江源]

Yes.. the anger is what I have to learn to subdue.

 

The reason why I don't "express" is that I have misplaced anger. Like my professor says.. why get angry? Why not just shout? When shouting might be what one of the zang organs require... I forgot which one(s). So it just gives another perspective.

 

So it's not actually that telling someone "fuck you" is wrong.. it might be more so how you say it. If you project anger, that's insecurity. If you say it without the anger that is stronger, more balanced, and might work better than projecting anger which might just bounce back to you.

 

So until I can control my anger I am afraid of expressing... because I know it usually ends up biting me back in the ass... Regardless of when people say "dude do something about it"... because if I'm angry/frustrated/insecure there's no point in "doing"...

 

You can "do something" about it all you want but if you do it with the negative mindstate it will be counter-productive. But I fear too much...

 

I had a lot of anger response in me, very fiery, very volatile. The healing sounds helped me a lot, I used to vent liver sometimes just walking along the road, had to do it very regularly. They are very useful and fast acting in the moment, and offer a deeper balance, over the long term.

 

Healing sounds