is life just the epitome of suffering?

[Non]

I tend to hold the idea in my mind perhaps subconsciously or so that life is just ultimate suffering and life throws at me just the opposite of what I need and desire, what would break my hear in the most brutal fashion.

 

Especially manifested in the yin, or feminine in my life. In woman.

 

That life throws at my opposition in the most symmetrical fashion, that which would make me suffer the most in extreme.

 

That life is nothing but pure suffering in the most lowest in primitive form, that ultimate truth and peace spirit, beauty, etc can never be known.

 

That life is pure nightmare and nothing else. taking advantage of all of my highest energies to fulfill the lowest of goals. Playing on all of my most extreme fears.

 

It's incredible the depth that I feel this.

 

 

Maybe I've just had my heart broken so much that I feel like this is all that becomes of life.. and I'm stuck in this thought, stagnant in thinknig life is nothing but pure suffering and that I should just end it all with a tragic suicide.

 

I'm not kidding. I do not know what is real.

Edited April 11, 2011 by Non

[Non]

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/18113-law-of-attraction-do-you-attract-or-create/

 

just seems relevant I dont know.

[Sloppy Zhang]

Look, Non, seriously, you gotta dig yourself out of this downward spiraling negative cycle.

 

Because that's how it works.

 

You fail with a girl, so you don't try again for a while and when you do, you feel self conscious. So the next time you try, you feel self conscious and awkward, which impacts your performance, so you fail again, which only takes you further down.

 

You gotta do something for your self confidence. You gotta like yourself before others can like you. If all you see is suffering, then that's all you're gonna get.

 

If you see challenges as chances for you to improve yourself, then you are going to get better.

 

But you have to WANT to get better.

Edited April 11, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[ralis]

This is what you need Non.

 

 

 

Edited April 11, 2011 by ralis

[gendao]

That life is pure nightmare and nothing else. taking advantage of all of my highest energies to fulfill the lowest of goals. Playing on all of my most extreme fears.

 

It's incredible the depth that I feel this.

 

 

Maybe I've just had my heart broken so much that I feel like this is all that becomes of life.. and I'm stuck in this thought, stagnant in thinknig life is nothing but pure suffering and that I should just end it all with a tragic suicide.

 

I'm not kidding. I do not know what is real.

You are supposed to feel this way per your soul plan.

 

A yin male is supposed to suffer in this world. Because he is relegated to slumming at the bottom on the sexual hierarchy (and much of the overall social hierarchy by extension) - below any other gender blend. Even a yang female doesn't get stigmatized like a weak male does and can still get laid at will. But a yin male is an out-caste at the bottom of the sexual pyramid scheme.

 

So, you are feeling how someone in your position is "supposed" to feel. It's not a coincidence and there is nothing wrong with that. You are not alone. Many others in the same position felt the exact same way...

The relevant question then is why you incarnated in this position???

 

Karma? Soul lesson? To force you to seek liberation from this worldly matrix? All of the above?

 

I'm betting at some level, this external stimulus pushing your biggest hot button is designed to force you to resolve the deepest core issue in you. The part of yourself you rejected and projected onto others because you couldn't accept it as part of yourself.

 

Because, maybe as important as nonduality in spiritual progress is FULL SELF-ACCEPTANCE - or reintegration/defragging your whole self. Which means you have to take and accept back EVERY single part of you that you ever fragmented off in this life, or any other.. These parts you have such a strong love/hate relationship with - are precisely the missing parts that must be reabsorbed in order to resolve such intense self-conflict.

 

This issue is now staring you right in the face screaming, "Deal with me, love me, take me back...or I will keep tormenting your very soul until you do!"

Edited April 11, 2011 by vortex

[Non]

You are supposed to feel this way per your soul plan.

 

A yin male is supposed to suffer in this world. Because he is relegated to slumming at the bottom on the sexual hierarchy (and much of the overall social hierarchy by extension) - below any other gender blend. Even a yang female doesn't get stigmatized like a weak male does and can still get laid at will. But a yin male is an out-caste at the bottom of the sexual pyramid scheme.

 

So, you are feeling how someone in your position is "supposed" to feel. It's not a coincidence and there is nothing wrong with that. You are not alone. Many others in the same position felt the exact same way...

The relevant question then is why you incarnated in this position???

 

Karma? Soul lesson? To force you to seek liberation from this worldly matrix? All of the above?

 

I'm betting at some level, this external stimulus pushing your biggest hot button is designed to force you to resolve the deepest core issue in you. The part of yourself you rejected and projected onto others because you couldn't accept it as part of yourself.

 

Because, maybe as important as nonduality in spiritual progress is FULL SELF-ACCEPTANCE - or reintegration/defragging your whole self. Which means you have to take and accept back EVERY single part of you that you ever fragmented off in this life, or any other.. These parts you have such a strong love/hate relationship with - are precisely the missing parts that must be reabsorbed in order to resolve such intense self-conflict.

 

This issue is now staring you right in the face screaming, "Deal with me, love me, take me back...or I will keep tormenting your very soul until you do!"

 

so what am I supposed to do, just accept this will be my life forever until I die, and be happy with it?

[effilang]

I am in the same boat as you Non.

Disappointment after failure. Heartbreak after tears, pain after loss.

 

Everything always goes in the opposite direction for me, and i say this knowing how positive i am.

There is no way in hell i'd still be here if i wasn't a positive person.

 

I have experienced great suffering, and yet there is greater.

I have accepted that this is my karma and work enthusiastically and optimistically through everything.

 

I am so numb to disappointment and failure, that when it happens i just say ok and move on, even when i may have invested years in it, i have just learned to move on. Most people will crumble into a mess, but i have done it so many times, that i am beyond that.

 

And i'm the guy that meditates, chants, helps people, always does the right thing even when it costs him his friends, superficial social respect (such as it is), status, authority, love. I have sacrificed everything i can think of, all in the name of creating good karma and living a life worthy of the way, and yet all i receive in return is more of the same : )

 

I have made a commitment to the heavens to take on my mothers bad karma, so that she might be born into a better life than what she has had in this one. Through my experiences in life i can tell i have a lot of negative karma.

 

I understand it if i have to suffer for the rest of my life, it is my burden after all. I have dedicated this life to doing what is right and through my deeds and intentions to lessen my burden for the next life, where hopefully it might be better than this.

 

I contemplated suicide years ago, but then i realized i would just be making things worse for myself in my next life ha! Not doing me any favors : ) - So i have learnt to accept every suffering as an opportunity for a better life, in my NEXT life. After all we are infinite beings, what is one life?

 

Life always throws me in the opposite end of what i need and desire Non.

Anything i desire, is either snatched away from me or placed so far that the mere thought of attempting to reach it is crippling to the senses. I am so accustomed to this, that i have stopped desiring. What you might call spontaneous emotional desire, for me, has boiled down to bland "opportunity", IE: when something is immediately possible and available i will take advantage of it as long as it is acceptable morally. I have stopped dreaming and wanting. And all this has happened indirectly, i never wanted it, but now i feel better, not wanting and not desiring. I only wish that the constant suffering and misfortune in my life would be less : )

 

I do not ask to walk smooth paths,

 

Nor bear an easy load.

 

I pray for strength and fortitude

 

To climb the rock strewn road.

 

Give me such courage and I can scale

 

The headiest peaks alone,

 

And transform every stumbling block

 

Into a stepping stone.

 

~Gail Brook Burket

 

 

I know many might read this and think, ah hes just one of those guys that needs a "positive outlook" or to be re-programmed or to let go of prior preconceptions and notions or structural patterns. No, thats not me.

The real me could as well be a saint. And i know this may sound arrogant, but look at all the good Jesus supposedly did and what did he get, but an epic beating and nails in his appendages.

 

My point with making that relationship is that some people i believe are just MENT to suffer, based on their karma. No matter how much good they do in their current life.

 

I've noticed something about how karma works too.

If you are presented with a situation in your present life ie: a friend needs money and you help him, you will receive equal karma within your current life, but if you act out of goodness spontaneously without it directly being required of you, that karma doesn't come back to you in this life, i think it is assigned to clear evils of past lives. I think karma works on a micro and macro scale. I have never been able to find any good literature on karma, but this is what i have observed in my life. If you careful enough you will notice it's every interaction on the micro scale. The macro, at least for me, is way out of my sight.

 

So Non. All i can tell you is. Enjoy life whenever you get the opportunity, because it is all suffering.

And accept the challenges and sufferings of your life as opportunities to contribute to your future wellbeing and prosperity. Be positive so you can keep moving forward and meditate : )

[Non]

I am in the same boat as you Non.

Disappointment after failure. Heartbreak after tears, pain after loss.

 

Everything always goes in the opposite direction for me, and i say this knowing how positive i am.

There is no way in hell i'd still be here if i wasn't a positive person.

 

I have experienced great suffering, and yet there is greater.

I have accepted that this is my karma and work enthusiastically and optimistically through everything.

 

I am so numb to disappointment and failure, that when it happens i just say ok and move on, even when i may have invested years in it, i have just learned to move on. Most people will crumble into a mess, but i have done it so many times, that i am beyond that.

 

And i'm the guy that meditates, chants, helps people, always does the right thing even when it costs him his friends, superficial social respect (such as it is), status, authority, love. I have sacrificed everything i can think of, all in the name of creating good karma and living a life worthy of the way, and yet all i receive in return is more of the same : )

 

I have made a commitment to the heavens to take on my mothers bad karma, so that she might be born into a better life than what she has had in this one. Through my experiences in life i can tell i have a lot of negative karma.

 

I understand it if i have to suffer for the rest of my life, it is my burden after all. I have dedicated this life to doing what is right and through my deeds and intentions to lessen my burden for the next life, where hopefully it might be better than this.

 

I contemplated suicide years ago, but then i realized i would just be making things worse for myself in my next life ha! Not doing me any favors : ) - So i have learnt to accept every suffering as an opportunity for a better life, in my NEXT life. After all we are infinite beings, what is one life?

 

Life always throws me in the opposite end of what i need and desire Non.

Anything i desire, is either snatched away from me or placed so far that the mere thought of attempting to reach it is crippling to the senses. I am so accustomed to this, that i have stopped desiring. What you might call spontaneous emotional desire, for me, has boiled down to bland "opportunity", IE: when something is immediately possible and available i will take advantage of it as long as it is acceptable morally. I have stopped dreaming and wanting. And all this has happened indirectly, i never wanted it, but now i feel better, not wanting and not desiring. I only wish that the constant suffering and misfortune in my life would be less : )

 

I do not ask to walk smooth paths,

 

Nor bear an easy load.

 

I pray for strength and fortitude

 

To climb the rock strewn road.

 

Give me such courage and I can scale

 

The headiest peaks alone,

 

And transform every stumbling block

 

Into a stepping stone.

 

~Gail Brook Burket

 

 

I know many might read this and think, ah hes just one of those guys that needs a "positive outlook" or to be re-programmed or to let go of prior preconceptions and notions or structural patterns. No, thats not me.

The real me could as well be a saint. And i know this may sound arrogant, but look at all the good Jesus supposedly did and what did he get, but an epic beating and nails in his appendages.

 

My point with making that relationship is that some people i believe are just MENT to suffer, based on their karma. No matter how much good they do in their current life.

 

I've noticed something about how karma works too.

If you are presented with a situation in your present life ie: a friend needs money and you help him, you will receive equal karma within your current life, but if you act out of goodness spontaneously without it directly being required of you, that karma doesn't come back to you in this life, i think it is assigned to clear evils of past lives. I think karma works on a micro and macro scale. I have never been able to find any good literature on karma, but this is what i have observed in my life. If you careful enough you will notice it's every interaction on the micro scale. The macro, at least for me, is way out of my sight.

 

So Non. All i can tell you is. Enjoy life whenever you get the opportunity, because it is all suffering.

And accept the challenges and sufferings of your life as opportunities to contribute to your future wellbeing and prosperity. Be positive so you can keep moving forward and meditate : )

 

 

see.. and I would say, that's just submission. that's just settling with what you've got and not hoping for more.

 

but sometimes it feels that's all I can do...

[effilang]

I'm betting at some level, this external stimulus pushing your biggest hot button is designed to force you to resolve the deepest core issue in you. The part of yourself you rejected and projected onto others because you couldn't accept it as part of yourself.

 

Because, maybe as important as nonduality in spiritual progress is FULL SELF-ACCEPTANCE - or reintegration/defragging your whole self. Which means you have to take and accept back EVERY single part of you that you ever fragmented off in this life, or any other.. These parts you have such a strong love/hate relationship with - are precisely the missing parts that must be reabsorbed in order to resolve such intense self-conflict.

 

This issue is now staring you right in the face screaming, "Deal with me, love me, take me back...or I will keep tormenting your very soul until you do!"

 

This has spoken to me truly, but the theory is easier than the practice.

 

I'd classify myself as Yang within Yin male, i have every aspect of a typical macho Yang male, but it is covered in Yin and only surfaces when aroused. Which is why most of my life i always end up shocking people. I don't look or act feminine though, i look like your typical MMA grunt, but the Yin is not in the appearance.

 

Just like Non, i wish there was a way to change things.

I do everything that would make most people happy and life still bores me. The only happiness i've truly felt is during meditation.

 

Are people who meditate prone to depression after personal insights during cultivation?

It has been several years now since my first "glimpse" and still nothing in the real world seems to make me happy anymore. Just small temporary, impermanent shallow excitations, lacking of any real substance and the more i am forced to indulge in them by my mere presence on this earth the further it depresses me knowing i am disconnecting myself from the ultimate reality we exist within, which is so contrarily....eternal. Add that to my constant failures and burdens and you can tell i drink a pretty heavy cocktail of shit on a daily basis. lol

 

I am fit and healthy and practice martial arts, and do activities and this and that and all of the above... and still : (

Edited April 11, 2011 by effilang

[effilang]

see.. and I would say, that's just submission. that's just settling with what you've got and not hoping for more.

 

but sometimes it feels that's all I can do...

 

It's not submission Non, if you're still fighting on : )

As long as you're a live it means you are enduring your karma, and that is not submission!

 

Just react positively to everything that comes your way and always keep your head above the muck, do good always. That is all i can say about that, i leave the accounting to the universe and simply do what i can with what i have.

 

The difference is that, if after doing all i can, if i am met with failure, and believe me failure is the last thing i expect when i am doing something, because i'm like a steam train once i get going, nothing gets in my way... i just accept it as my karma and move on. Before i would go bonkers, now i just think, there is no point being mad, because there is nobody to be mad at but yourself, since this is your karma. So how can you be mad at yourself? : )

 

Still though, you have to look at some other peoples lives. Suffering is so different for everyone.

For some it's slow and painful, for other quick and brief. Some people get tortured for months agonizingly until they die, others feel a moment of pain before they die. And people like me seems to just suffer all life long, and then die too lol

 

I wonder sometimes if i have already gone crazy and lost my mind, being able to talk about this so casually, but what else can i do? Really? I take it for what it is, look at the facts and then pick up the boulder and roll it up the hill again.

Edited April 11, 2011 by effilang

[gendao]

so what am I supposed to do, just accept this will be my life forever until I die, and be happy with it?

No - you have to do a lot of "root cause analysis" self-inquiry to identify and then resolve the root of your suffering. I like Byron Katie's simplified commercial method as a good starting point for this.

 

Obviously, you've already closed in a lot on it - in the area of gender polarity and balance. But you have to keep digging and zeroing in on exactly what YOUR issue with it is, so that you can resolve it. Karma and past lives may be involved - but I think this just means you haven't resolved an issue over lifetimes and so have to keep repeating the pattern until you do.

 

The bottom line is that you must resolve your own issues, regardless of their origin.

 

My life has been similar to yours and effilang's, apparently. Which is no coincidence either - as it seems our souls often use suffering to force us to seek spirituality and illness to force us to become healers, etc. Make us weak to force us to become strong (like many martial arts masters). You catching on yet? Life is a total MINDGAME. In fact, they should just call it "mindgame" instead of "life." Happiness in this world is but a mirage. It's more like a video game for our souls.

 

"Positive thinking" by my conscious, egoic self for me is also a delusional effort. It's like the surfer trying to control the wave, instead of just trying to surf it. Like a fart in a hurricane. I'm becoming more of the opinion that it is our "superconscious" or souls that create and manipulate the overriding situations in our lives that our conscious selves then must deal with. I mean, I can't count the number of girls I've met in the last few years where things started out very promising...but they all suddenly just flaked out or circumstances intervened like there was some cosmic kawkblock. Along with various other events in my life..

 

Anyhow, I think how your egoic self reacts does make a difference indirectly at least - because then your "superconscious" will choose different scenarios based upon that. It's just that I don't think your ego has direct control and lacks executive decision-making authority. But this is all just speculation here...lol.

 

However, I did just have a conversation with a lifelong spiritual adept the other week about all this - and we both agreed on how life's suffering is rooted in confronting portions of ourselves we fragged off because we didn't like them for some reason. So, a spiritual practice must include reintegration of all these cast-off pieces of ourselves for full SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

 

On the bright side...he also mentioned an old "Japanese" saying that, "great confusion precedes great insight." So, I'd say you're getting warmer...

Edited April 11, 2011 by vortex

[effilang]

Which is no coincidence either - as it seems our souls often use suffering to force us to seek spirituality and illness to force us to become healers, etc. Make us weak to force us to become strong (like many martial arts masters). You catching on yet? Life is a total MINDGAME. In fact, they should just call it "mindgame" instead of "life."

 

 

Well fuck my ass sideways. Ain't that just peachy.

 

 

[Wells]

so what am I supposed to do, just accept this will be my life forever until I die, and be happy with it?

Call Gary Clyman and talk with him about your problems. He's the right guy to help you to help yourself.

http://www.chikung.com/chi-kung/

[aridus]

I apologize if I have not read enough into this. But to me, this is like a speed wobble on a motorcycle. A speed wobble has resonance. It's like a wave that gets bigger and bigger. The problem with a speed wobble is that trying too hard to correct it increases the resonance, which makes the wobble even worse, then you try even harder to correct it. Eventually you crash.

 

A speed wobble is something you have to learn to ride out with finesse, relaxation, and experience. Trying to fight it can mean a crash or death.

[Non]

You are supposed to feel this way per your soul plan.

 

A yin male is supposed to suffer in this world. Because he is relegated to slumming at the bottom on the sexual hierarchy (and much of the overall social hierarchy by extension) - below any other gender blend. Even a yang female doesn't get stigmatized like a weak male does and can still get laid at will. But a yin male is an out-caste at the bottom of the sexual pyramid scheme.

 

So, you are feeling how someone in your position is "supposed" to feel. It's not a coincidence and there is nothing wrong with that. You are not alone. Many others in the same position felt the exact same way...

The relevant question then is why you incarnated in this position???

 

Karma? Soul lesson? To force you to seek liberation from this worldly matrix? All of the above?

 

I'm betting at some level, this external stimulus pushing your biggest hot button is designed to force you to resolve the deepest core issue in you. The part of yourself you rejected and projected onto others because you couldn't accept it as part of yourself.

 

Because, maybe as important as nonduality in spiritual progress is FULL SELF-ACCEPTANCE - or reintegration/defragging your whole self. Which means you have to take and accept back EVERY single part of you that you ever fragmented off in this life, or any other.. These parts you have such a strong love/hate relationship with - are precisely the missing parts that must be reabsorbed in order to resolve such intense self-conflict.

 

This issue is now staring you right in the face screaming, "Deal with me, love me, take me back...or I will keep tormenting your very soul until you do!"

 

well smtimes you are rather disempowering than helpful...but i can generally agree with your assessment as being inline with my own cynicism.

[Non]

i sometimes (or most of the time) expect nothing but negative things because that's what I've learned becomes of my "positivity".

[Non]

No - you have to do a lot of "root cause analysis" self-inquiry to identify and then resolve the root of your suffering. I like Byron Katie's simplified commercial method as a good starting point for this.

 

Obviously, you've already closed in a lot on it - in the area of gender polarity and balance. But you have to keep digging and zeroing in on exactly what YOUR issue with it is, so that you can resolve it. Karma and past lives may be involved - but I think this just means you haven't resolved an issue over lifetimes and so have to keep repeating the pattern until you do.

 

The bottom line is that you must resolve your own issues, regardless of their origin.

 

My life has been similar to yours and effilang's, apparently. Which is no coincidence either - as it seems our souls often use suffering to force us to seek spirituality and illness to force us to become healers, etc. Make us weak to force us to become strong (like many martial arts masters). You catching on yet? Life is a total MINDGAME. In fact, they should just call it "mindgame" instead of "life." Happiness in this world is but a mirage. It's more like a video game for our souls.

 

"Positive thinking" by my conscious, egoic self for me is also a delusional effort. It's like the surfer trying to control the wave, instead of just trying to surf it. Like a fart in a hurricane. I'm becoming more of the opinion that it is our "superconscious" or souls that create and manipulate the overriding situations in our lives that our conscious selves then must deal with. I mean, I can't count the number of girls I've met in the last few years where things started out very promising...but they all suddenly just flaked out or circumstances intervened like there was some cosmic kawkblock. Along with various other events in my life..

 

Anyhow, I think how your egoic self reacts does make a difference indirectly at least - because then your "superconscious" will choose different scenarios based upon that. It's just that I don't think your ego has direct control and lacks executive decision-making authority. But this is all just speculation here...lol.

 

However, I did just have a conversation with a lifelong spiritual adept the other week about all this - and we both agreed on how life's suffering is rooted in confronting portions of ourselves we fragged off because we didn't like them for some reason. So, a spiritual practice must include reintegration of all these cast-off pieces of ourselves for full SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

 

On the bright side...he also mentioned an old "Japanese" saying that, "great confusion precedes great insight." So, I'd say you're getting warmer...

 

Like a videogame huh? It seems so fuckin childish and stupid at times. Immatre. How can the universe be so dumb and careless?

 

This post is more positive. I like. Thanks.

[Immortal4life]

Life has really conspired hard against you, that is simply a huge conspiracy. Wow!

[Immortal4life]

It's like they say in sports.....Never take yourself out of the game.....Never give up....Never back down....and Any Given Sunday......Chicken Salad out of Chicken Shit

[bbsoft0]

Hi Non,

 

I am also a weak person. When I was dumped by a girl I loved much, I went home and was kinda restless.

In my mind i wondered: "Is this the faimous lovers pain - which killed so many? What exactly is this pain, did I lose something now that I am alone ?" Then I searched the internet and I found a taoist text that changed my pain forever .

 

 

http://www.sacred-texts.com/tao/ltw2/ltw290.htm

 

Love and blessings to you , my friend.

[ralis]

What is all this whining over women? Get over it and grow a pair! It is not the end of the world! I swear, some men who call themselves spiritual seekers have just become too sensitive to women's emotions.

 

Women don't like overly sensitive men.

Edited April 11, 2011 by ralis

[Wells]

@Non:

Dude, you miss the point! Your problem is not that you are "Yin" because "Yin" does not equal weak, oversensitive and lack of prevailing. A weak ego, a weak personality does equal these characteristics!

I am also a "yin"-male, what means in my case that I am the strong, dark and silent guy (complete with sixpack, muscles, black leather jacket and three-day beard) who draws women magneticly to himself. I don't need to entertain them with blatant behavior, I don't need to behave loud to get their attention, what only means that I don't need to waste energy through extroverted behavior. So being "Yin" is actually an advantage in my book. But I have a strong "Ego", I see myself as the center of the universe, I like to show what I can, what I got and what I know. I'm convinced to have more insight in things than most people and women believe me that after discussing with me. And I don't lie; I like to prove my claims. And last but not least: I prevail and I am not afraid of ugly conflicts!

 

To make things short: Women like self-centered guys with a healthy EGO, who find themselves great but can prove their claims. And having a muscular body doesn't hurt either.

 

So your problem (like for many "spiritual" people) is: You should embrace and develop your personality/EGO, discover your fascination for yourself. Don't beat your ego down...or others will do the same.

 

P.S.: I used once a foto of my nude upper body as avatar, so I guess I don't need to prove the looks I claimed to have.

Edited April 11, 2011 by Dorian Black

[ralis]

@Non:

Dude, you miss the point! Your problem is not that you are "Yin" because "Yin" does not equal weak, oversensitive and lack of prevailing. A weak ego, a weak personality does equal these characteristics!

I am also a "yin"-male, what means in my case that I am the strong, dark and silent guy (complete with sixpack, muscles, black leather jacket and three-day beard) who draws women magneticly to himself. I don't need to entertain them with blatant behavior, I don't need to behave loud to get their attention, what only means that I don't need to waste energy through extroverted behavior. So being "Yin" is actually an advantage in my book. But I have a strong "Ego", I see myself as the center of the universe, I like to show what I can, what I got and what I know. I'm convinced to have more insight in things than most people and women believe me that after discussing with me. And I don't lie; I like to prove my claims. And last but not least: I prevail and I am not afraid of ugly conflicts!

 

To make things short: Women like self-centered guys with a healthy EGO, who find themselves great but can prove their claims. And having a muscular body doesn't hurt either.

 

So your problem (like for many "spiritual" people) is: You should embrace and develop your personality/EGO, discover your fascination for yourself. Don't beat your ego down...or others will do the same.

 

P.S.: I used once a foto of my nude upper body as avatar, so I guess I don't need to prove the looks I claimed to have.

 

 

Well said!

[rex]

Alan de Botton has a chapter on having a broken heart in The Consolations of Philosophy. He cites Schopenhauer who mentions a universal process, the will to life, whose sole aim is to get us to propergate the species. This overides all other concerns, like emotions, happiness, and reason, so no matter how well lovers or prospective lovers get on, ultimately if the will to life decides that the match won't produce good kids then an unconscious veto occurs. The woman looses interest in sex, or needs some space and then the relationship ends. It's nothing personal, the rejected one is not instrinsiclly unloveable it's just that the will to life doesn't like the match with that particular woman.

 

The will to life can fill us (or perhaps we fill ourselves) with all sorts of deluded hopes and vain expectations to get us out there - ' deluded images of the happiness of our dreams hover before us in capriciously selected shapes and we search in vain for the original.' Schopenhauer says for all the pain conduct yourself as a knower rather than a sufferer as this is a universal experience that thousands, if not millions have suffered from, are suffering from or will suffer from. Alan de Botton adds that if you want to find out about this will to life and how it works itself out in the intricacies of human relationships then read Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther (should be free on the Project Gutenberg site).

 

Oh and to add to ralis' comment - men who put women on pedestals rarely knock them off.

 

edit: author mpesilled

Edited April 11, 2011 by rex

[Non]

What is all this whining over women? Get over it and grow a pair! It is not the end of the world! I swear, some men who call themselves spiritual seekers have just become too sensitive to women's emotions.

 

Women don't like overly sensitive men.

 

Well it's comments like yours that just don't help at all.

Edited April 11, 2011 by Non