taoist lovemaking and karezza

[Birch]

KEEP TRAINING!

 

 

Man, I prefer at least level-2 guys

 

Laughing too much to get offended, too much

[Mal]

^ ROTFLMAO loved that "Dan the Man" video

 

[Birch]

 

(BTW the trained eye can spot a mathematical physics enthusiast from a mile a way )

 

 

Oh no, I'm busted

[Non]

"And why does everyone always say I'm bitter just because 99.999% of chicks are bitches?"

[Non]

KEEP TRAINING!

 

 

 

there is absolutely NO POINT in training, whatsoever.

 

All of life is a sham, and it's just dopamine surges that make you feel like staying here and living on but in the end it's all NOTHING.

 

When you have as little as me to even start with there is nothing you can create that can make it better. All future effort is vain.

[Andrei]

You can try NLP

 

 

[Mal]

Big bang theory is just full of social manipulations and sterotypes used for comic effect. It's very clever and very well done. I only recently started watching it, catching up the 4 seasons in a few months.

 

When you have as little as me

 

Dude, you have 'net access! That's already more than many in the world have.

As long as you are breathing everything else can (and will) change.

[Enishi]

With the exception of some rock stars, PUAs and prostitutes, very very few people have had hundreds, much less thousands, of partners.

 

I actually know a woman who once worked as a prostitute and had hundreds of partners. She ended up marrying a 100 % shy virgin nice guy (minus the low self esteem traits) from a different country. His accent and the exotic element of coming from a foreign culture probably did increase his image of 'alphaness' in her eyes, but he was still 100% pure grass-fed niceness.

 

I suppose one could claim that she was faking her interest in him, but when you hear someone having screaming orgasms within earshot of dozens of other friends during a camping trip, that notion becomes quite hard to swallow.

 

This is, of course, very much an exception.

Edited May 7, 2011 by Enishi

[Creation]

Oh no, I'm busted

True story, I was reading Park and Miller's "Fundamentals of Pa Kua Chang" and within the first two chapters I thought "This Dan Miller fellow has studied advanced mathematics." Turned to the back of the book and sure enough, B.S. in Mathematics. How did I know? Ordinary people do not ever use the term "combinatorial". Similarly, ordinary people do not demarcate certain statements as lemmas when discussing attraction or use the term "hidden variables". Ever.

 

Edited May 7, 2011 by Creation

[Andrei]

(BTW the trained eye can spot a mathematical physics enthusiast from a mile a way )

 

 

[Non]

Big bang theory is just full of social manipulations and sterotypes used for comic effect. I've very well done, I've only recently started watching it, caught up 4 seasons in a few months)

 

 

 

Dude, you have 'net access! That's already more than many in the world have.

As long as you are breathing everything else can (and will) change.

 

when it comes to women that's all that matters.. and frankly I have nothing not even to start with attracting women.

[Enishi]

What if when a man learns to shake off his conditioning and get in touch with his natural masculine sexuality, the "way it works" completely changes? Because he will then activate women's natural sexuality, which lies dormant underneath all the conditioning? And deep down women really really want a man that can do this?

 

I think there is some truth to this, but I partly disagree in the sense that it makes it seem like things will only return to normal if a man makes all the inner changes while the woman sits around waiting. IMO women should take responsibility for working through their own conditioning rather than expecting the men to fix everything.

Edited May 7, 2011 by Enishi

[Creation]

I think there is some truth to this, but I partly disagree in the sense that it makes it seem like things will only return to normal a men makes all the inner changes while the woman sits around waiting. IMO women should take responsibility for working through their own conditioning rather shaming the men and waiting for them to fix everything.

Since both myself and Non are men, I only gave that side of the story. But I did not mean to say it's all up to men. Just "this is what men like you and I can do to begin to make it better, better, better, better, better, BETTER, YEAHHHHH! Nah, nah nah NAH NAH NAH NAH, nah nah nah nah, hey Non!"

 

 

It would be awesome if women would do this work as well, and indeed if both sexes supported each other in it.

 

That's the kind of woman I want to be with

Edited May 7, 2011 by Creation

[Andrei]

 

[Sloppy Zhang]

when it comes to women that's all that matters.. and frankly I have nothing not even to start with attracting women.

 

You know it's stuff like this which makes me second guess your whole spiritual commitment- because if you really were all gung ho about a practice, you wouldn't care. You seem to be using spirituality as an out, and that's just not good.

 

So two things-

 

1) Start doing something to improve your self confidence. Do things that you think would make you more attractive. Start working out, start eating healthy. Start learning how to talk to people. This does NOT mean you have to give up anything, or change, or start acting fake. Just learn how to interact with people and find some common ground- and don't say "we have no common ground", because it's that attitude which stunts your growth.

 

2) You've mentioned suicide far too often. Please make a list, or an outline, which details EXACTLY how you think that suicide is going to help at all. How exactly do you think it will improve your situation? How do you think that it's going to change anything? Because I've got a bunch of different religions and philosophies popping up in my head right now, and I can't think of many scenarios in which suicide can benefit you. For instance, to my knowledge, the Judeo-Christian ones say suicides go to hell. For a reincarnation slant, suicide just lands you in a different life with another (sometimes the SAME) problems. And if you're a utilitarian, the only way your death would help is if it helps others. So I'm tired of guessing: How exactly would suicide help at all?

[Birch]

I don't think it helps. But I think that one might think that talking about it helps. Sorry to be an a44 about it. But someone that wants to (and I'm presently thinking about very old people who are done with suffering, perhaps due to pain and such) - well, if they really want to...

 

But I know that on an online forum, that stuff won't work. As far as I can tell, no-one on TTB's wants to feel responsible for helping Non go there. So i guess he either finds a different forum, or puts up with the BS here :-)

[Andrei]

[Creation]

Since both myself and Non are men, I only gave that side of the story.

...

It would be awesome if women would do this work as well, and indeed if both sexes supported each other in it.

Also, the more of your own conditioning you have dropped, the better you will be at spotting the ladies who have dropped theirs.

 

You know, the ones that Non denies even exist, even though they are right in front of his face on this forum.

[gendao]

It is called the ladder theory: http://www.laddertheory.com/

No matter how Non improves himself he always looks upper than his level. Maybe he tries to reach like minded girls but they have a different standard and he is at the bottom of their ladder. So there is no chance to you Non but to improve your own value, not in your own eyes but in the eyes of the girls. And that's the most difficult thing because you have no feedback from the girls, but if by some chance the girls will look for you to talk to you, that means they look for some value in you which was developed in the meantime.

...lol

Heavenly Father, could you please send me something to wish on

Or at least tell these demons on my back to just get gone

I know that I'm the shit, but I'm still getting pissed on

I'm talking but nobody's understanding me miss one

Looking like a man, but I feel like a boy

Try to do what I can, but I'm feelin' destroyed

I just wanna raise the roof and leave the ceiling destroyed

But everytime I spit the truth, there's nothing filling the void

So I, look to the light of the stars...

Like Lord, could you please show me that you ain't far

I'm a nice guy, I hope I don't finish last

No fuck that, I'm a rocket and I'm built to blast!

So I, stay focused like the camera lenses

And I, stay humble, never act pretentious

Cuz if I had a wish that the Heavens sent me

It would be simply that you don't forget me.

Edited May 7, 2011 by vortex

[Non]

So pretty much that website laddertheory.com says:

 

Kiss of Death -- A friends speech ending in a hurtling trip to the Abyss. Specifically when a woman tells you something along the lines of "I think of you as a friend." It always results in a rejection of some sort.

 

Bitch -- 99.999% of women. Note for men: I know they are. Note to women: yes, you are in this group. More accurately it is a woman who is not honest about whyshe won't sleep with you. Or sometimes, just a woman who won't sleep with you. And of course women who won't admit the basic truth of Ladder Theory.

 

 

God -- Something you should profess belief in if you think it will help you bang some bitch.

 

Outlaw Biker -- The prototype of everything women say they don't want but really do. And you will know him by his forearm tattoo, 'street smarts,' weed connection, domestic violence convictions, and the fact that the women you are an intellectual whore to are always complaining about him to you before they go off to fuck him, or leave you in a bar to go home with him.

 

Intellectual Whore -- This is defined here

 

Intellectual Pimp -- The woman that a man is an intellectual whore to.

 

Asshole -- 99.999% of men. Note to women: I know they are. Note to men: I know you aren't really, and that it's just an act to get women. Essentially it is

a man who acts like a man.

 

----------------------

 

Note on the definition of Asshole: I know you aren't really, and that it's just an act to get women. Essentially it is a man who ACTS like "A MAN".

 

So you see, to a woman, a MAN is actually the Outlaw Biker.

 

We were talking something in my TCM class. My professor said celebrities are all yin deficient. Which means they give off FAKE YANG. Which is why they can be actors. Fake yang people ACT like yang, but aren't really yang. It is not true yang. On the surface they are, but on the inside they are yin deficient, which makes their yang seem more prevalent and makes it think it's a yang excess, or simply yang. That's why actors can act.. they have a lot of imagination and can fake, they are good at playing a role that is not them. Just like yang rising to the head giving hallucinations, or "hotheadedness"

 

Obviously there are diff factors because there can be the yin looking type and the more yang looking type.

 

So but in essence to a woman a man is to be the outlaw biker.

 

Is that really The Man? Is that true masculinity?

 

Another thing I noticed....

 

There was this woman in my class. Another woman mentioned to her a guy, to which she replied "but he's skinny". I thought.. man, ok... what if the guy started to work out once he got with her? What if he just needed to feel like it's worth it. What if he changed? What if there's a reason, he's skinny. Ie maybe he has problems gaining weight, or some other issue. But no she judges him as if HE'S NOT GENETICALLY FIT OR MORALLY INFERIOR. I can be considered skinny but half about 3-4 months ago I had much more muscle. recently my diet changed.

 

besides, women don't even stop to think that things can CHANGE. They want the man to do everything. but what if the guy is in my position.. has no DRIVE because in reality biologically speaking, it is sexual union which drives the human being. He has no pride, having no experience of the sharing with the opposite sex to make him feel biologically worthwhile, or worth living, AS A SOCIAL or COMMUNAL SEXUAL HUMAN BEING (Which is technically just being biologically human).

 

So .. yea I could do a lot more .. I can have more energy, be more proud of myself, have more confidence and do a lot more. Because I would be motivated. I would feel as if I am doing something for some reason.

 

Guys don't notice, but a MAJORITY of their self confidence CERTAINLY draws upon their past successes with women. No matter if today they have anyone. if they had at least had it once most likely their confidence level would be superior to the one who has never had any experience at the same age level as the first. Espcially if the second guy has had only negative experiences, or just simply experiences where he is ignored, and therefore feels like a nobody.

 

You cannot deny that the human body is naturally magnetically attracted to the opposite sex and sexual union demagnetizes them and relieves them of such pressure to unite.

 

So I have this problem, where I feel apathy a lot, not willing to live, having no drive, being stagnant, because I feel like I have nothing to live for. Not feeling like I could ever even meet someone in the future, even if I make the effort: simply because my past has been very empty with regards to the opposite sex.. A WHOLE HALF OF THE HUMAN POPULATION, but not only this half because it has far reaching effects on the male population, which I don't even care for.

Edited May 8, 2011 by Non

[Birch]

So pretty much that website laddertheory.com says:

 

Kiss of Death -- A friends speech ending in a hurtling trip to the Abyss. Specifically when a woman tells you something along the lines of "I think of you as a friend." It always results in a rejection of some sort.

 

Bitch -- 99.999% of women. Note for men: I know they are. Note to women: yes, you are in this group. More accurately it is a woman who is not honest about whyshe won't sleep with you. Or sometimes, just a woman who won't sleep with you. And of course women who won't admit the basic truth of Ladder Theory.

 

 

God -- Something you should profess belief in if you think it will help you bang some bitch.

 

Outlaw Biker -- The prototype of everything women say they don't want but really do. And you will know him by his forearm tattoo, 'street smarts,' weed connection, domestic violence convictions, and the fact that the women you are an intellectual whore to are always complaining about him to you before they go off to fuck him, or leave you in a bar to go home with him.

 

Intellectual Whore -- This is defined here

 

Intellectual Pimp -- The woman that a man is an intellectual whore to.

 

Asshole -- 99.999% of men. Note to women: I know they are. Note to men: I know you aren't really, and that it's just an act to get women. Essentially it is

a man who acts like a man.

 

----------------------

 

Note on the definition of Asshole: I know you aren't really, and that it's just an act to get women. Essentially it is a man who ACTS like "A MAN".

 

So you see, to a woman, a MAN is actually the Outlaw Biker.

 

We were talking something in my TCM class. My professor said celebrities are all yin deficient. Which means they give off FAKE YANG. Which is why they can be actors. Fake yang people ACT like yang, but aren't really yang. It is not true yang. On the surface they are, but on the inside they are yin deficient, which makes their yang seem more prevalent and makes it think it's a yang excess, or simply yang. That's why actors can act.. they have a lot of imagination and can fake, they are good at playing a role that is not them. Just like yang rising to the head giving hallucinations, or "hotheadedness"

 

Obviously there are diff factors because there can be the yin looking type and the more yang looking type.

 

So but in essence to a woman a man is to be the outlaw biker.

 

Is that really The Man? Is that true masculinity?

 

You're so into this stuff it's killing me. And not in a good way (as in hahaha)

I won't bite on the 99.99% bitch BS theory because it's pointless.

 

You know what I'm working on right now? How to not be dependent on ANY of this stuff people make up to defend their BS. And that includes my own. None of it.

 

So you can look at me and say "Wow, what a bitch" and it will not affect me in the slightest. I am working to make myself understand that I can't help you to feel better despite my desire to see it so.

[jago25_98]

Sex and spirituality do seem to be at odds at times.

 

But personally it was sex that got me into spirituality.

 

It did so on 2 accounts.

 

First, it was sex that really first proved to me the feelings of chi. Energy moving around like this is really for many people, a first introduction into the idea that the body has these subtle energies.

 

Second, it was a desire for sex and true love that brought my last 2 lovers into my life.

 

Let me say that what the Monk in the video says is so true for me. And it is bizarre to experience. Something so against everything that when it happens it can change the way we view everything.

 

For me what happened was I was feeling lonely. After a while I worked on myself and gave up the grasping for women(I thought). At that moment a women came into my life. But the spooky thing is that she was exactly what I was looking for. Since a new friend had been influencing me what we think is a good woman it was amazing that she was many of these things.

 

What she was became an insight into myself. That is, external desires were a reflection of my inner self.

 

She dumped me, and I can see that as a fault in myself I have to examine more. I was afraid of being tied down with children.. and maybe some parts of myself horribly dark.. did I just forget to truly love? I was unable to imagine a true greatness, and I was unable to imagine that greatness as taking an interest in me. Or am I just blaming myself?

 

 

The next time around I decided to lay off women to focus on myself. In this time my sexual desire fueled a development of myself. I said no to some women but eventually I slipped from calmness and into wanting to be with a woman again, before I had finished working on myself, and I did this on a subtle level. That is, on a deep level I felt lonely and grasped for companionship. This resulted in meeting a woman with qualities I wanted, qualities that were so different than before because I had found that perhaps these qualities would be more appropriate for me. Once again I was amazed how what I desired came so true. To duplicate this effect twice really changes how one looks at life.

 

Further into the relationship I know I have to work on myself. It doesn't stop. Any fault within myself comes to the surface in the relationship.

 

Right now I have the problem that if I ejaculate like crazy as I did in the last relationship, I loose a great sense of vitality, yet the woman I'm with wants me to do this. Is this because I am attached to feeling strong and virile, and I hate to loose this on cumming? Am I greedy, wanting this sexual vitality to attract other women, or other vitality. Or am I afraid of losing her, that is, afraid of losing the sexual energy that I feel attracts her. There is an insecurity here, somewhere within myself. I have to meditate on this. Have I developed a religious ego? Is my ego tied into beliefs in chi and so forth? Would I be devastated to find it was all an imagines placebo?

 

Can being a balanced person attract a number of women into ones life? That is, can it respond to the ego? I think yes. I can say that it works even with ones faults. That is, you don't have to achieve much internally for it to work.

Personally I don't think I have much desire to be loved by multiple women. That is, not on a spiritual level. Of course what our ego wants and what our spirit wants are 2 different thing, or is it that we are limited by society?

 

I know I want to be happy, but what makes me happy? Is it totally unfair to invite a woman into ones life and then get bored and change oneself after 2 years... or part of the journey?

 

 

Is sex a bridge between physical and spiritual? That might explain the 2 knocking heads. It's frustrating for the spiritual the notion that it can be held back by the spiritual... and it could be frustrating for the physical to find a limit due to the spiritual; the praying boxer, the weight training priest. Perhaps actually the 2 are the same thing?! Or linked in a very odd way. Weight training has helped quiet my mind... meditation has helped physical training...

 

 

If the attraction effect described above is a result of oneness of the universe then my girlfriend reacting a certain way is not an external thing, but my own internal problem. If a girlfriend sticks around for initial excitement and then leaves... is this what I really want? How is it my internal desires would create a thing that seems to damage oneself in this way?

 

I'd like to say that men and women are similar. Highlighting differences... doesn't sound too helpful. The problems seem much the same. In fact, me mentioning problems is probably the wrong focus... should focus instead on the good things. Both sexes appear to be looking for wholesomeness, something long term. I remember plenty of women latenting `guys who just sleep around`, now we're reading from men who are lamenting of women who sleep around`. Even if there seems to be different timescales (Men: Don't go there twice, Women: Don't stick in a boring marriage), the parallels between the sexes are looking pretty strong. And I think I could draw comparisons for men and women for all the accusations listed in this thread.

 

So let's remember what we both want; rewarding relationships.

 

 

If we think we're doing good there's always sex to point out that actually there's a lot more we can do.

[Sloppy Zhang]

So pretty much that website laddertheory.com says:

 

Kiss of Death -- A friends speech ending in a hurtling trip to the Abyss. Specifically when a woman tells you something along the lines of "I think of you as a friend." It always results in a rejection of some sort.

 

Bitch -- 99.999% of women. Note for men: I know they are. Note to women: yes, you are in this group. More accurately it is a woman who is not honest about whyshe won't sleep with you. Or sometimes, just a woman who won't sleep with you. And of course women who won't admit the basic truth of Ladder Theory.

 

 

God -- Something you should profess belief in if you think it will help you bang some bitch.

 

Outlaw Biker -- The prototype of everything women say they don't want but really do. And you will know him by his forearm tattoo, 'street smarts,' weed connection, domestic violence convictions, and the fact that the women you are an intellectual whore to are always complaining about him to you before they go off to fuck him, or leave you in a bar to go home with him.

 

Intellectual Whore -- This is defined here

 

Intellectual Pimp -- The woman that a man is an intellectual whore to.

 

Asshole -- 99.999% of men. Note to women: I know they are. Note to men: I know you aren't really, and that it's just an act to get women. Essentially it is

a man who acts like a man.

 

----------------------

 

Note on the definition of Asshole: I know you aren't really, and that it's just an act to get women. Essentially it is a man who ACTS like "A MAN".

 

So you see, to a woman, a MAN is actually the Outlaw Biker.

 

I'd be careful about how much stock you put into that site. As in, don't start toting it as proof of your own skewed worldview. That site tends to be applicable to a certain group of people, certain age ranges of people, and things like that, but quickly falls to the wayside at a couple of points. For instance, if a guy realizes that meaningless sex is meaningless after a certain point, it stops becoming his sole criterion. But I digress....

 

We were talking something in my TCM class. My professor said celebrities are all yin deficient. Which means they give off FAKE YANG. Which is why they can be actors. Fake yang people ACT like yang, but aren't really yang. It is not true yang. On the surface they are, but on the inside they are yin deficient, which makes their yang seem more prevalent and makes it think it's a yang excess, or simply yang. That's why actors can act.. they have a lot of imagination and can fake, they are good at playing a role that is not them. Just like yang rising to the head giving hallucinations, or "hotheadedness"

 

Yes, I recall this topic being mentioned in more than a few of your past threads. It doesn't just apply to actors, but can apply to everyone. (remember the article I showed you about beta males pretending to be alphas, but everyone can tell when they aren't?)

 

Is that really The Man? Is that true masculinity?

 

No, it isn't, and it's what so many people have tried to tell you for a LONG time- eventually the curtain falls on the false yang person, and the gig is up. Everyone can see the false for what it truly is. It's why the "biker guy" is never the long term relationship type. It's why, if someone tries to make them that, the relationship goes bad very, very quickly.

 

They aren't REALLY the masculine that people (male or female) want. If you push on it, it falls. If you ask it to follow through on its boasts, it can't.

 

There was this woman in my class. Another woman mentioned to her a guy, to which she replied "but he's skinny". I thought.. man, ok... what if the guy started to work out once he got with her? What if he just needed to feel like it's worth it. What if he changed? What if there's a reason, he's skinny. Ie maybe he has problems gaining weight, or some other issue. But no she judges him as if HE'S NOT GENETICALLY FIT OR MORALLY INFERIOR. I can be considered skinny but half about 3-4 months ago I had much more muscle. recently my diet changed.

 

1) Great job. You now know ONE PERSON'S opinion.

 

2) Other factors can be involved, she might be into the same guy if she sees him in a different light.

 

3)Did I mention it's just one person's opinion?

 

Guys don't notice, but a MAJORITY of their self confidence CERTAINLY draws upon their past successes with women.

 

The majority of ANYONE'S self confidence comes from past success!

 

Everyone starts out with NOTHING. Some people try and fail, then they stop behaviors that lead to failure. When they succeed, they repeat behaviors that lead to success. But they never know until they try (or they may follow the advice of a more experienced person).

 

You have this idea in your head that everybody else automatically has more experience than you, and that you can't do anything because you don't have this crucial bit of experience. Well guess what? When they started they had the same amount of experience as you- NONE. But then they went out there and got it. And you haven't.

 

Espcially if the second guy has had only negative experiences, or just simply experiences where he is ignored, and therefore feels like a nobody.

 

As I said in another thread, compare these two people:

 

Person A- has tried 10 times, and been rejected or ignored 10 times. Wonders what is wrong with women for always telling him the same things. Each time he fails, he gets sent into this pit of self despair, and it takes him six months to work himself up again to where he can try.

 

Person A- has tried 100 times, and has been rejected or ignored the first 90 times. Each time he has looked at what happened, and why it failed, and has changed his behavior accordingly. When he fails, he wastes no time in trying again. His last 10 tries were amazingly successful.

 

You can take this patter to ANY subject.

 

It's not a matter of how much you fail, it's a matter of how often you succeed. Successful people aren't inherently better than you- they try more, try better, and are not afraid of failure, because they know they can make up for it with success.

 

So I have this problem, where I feel apathy a lot, not willing to live, having no drive, being stagnant, because I feel like I have nothing to live for. Not feeling like I could ever even meet someone in the future, even if I make the effort: simply because my past has been very empty with regards to the opposite sex.. A WHOLE HALF OF THE HUMAN POPULATION, but not only this half because it has far reaching effects on the male population, which I don't even care for.

 

So again I must ask: how EXACTLY would your death fix your problems?

[thelerner]

"And why does everyone always say I'm bitter just because 99.999% of chicks are bitches?"

 

 

Hmmnn, we say your bitter because that's the way your writing comes off, accusatory and unhappy.

 

I say you're a bit delusional/highly prejudiced because you think (and obsess over the thought) 99.999% of woman are bitches. Tain't true. Though your thinking might make it appear so due to sending out incredibly negative vibes and highly selective memory tricks. I.E any kindness shown by woman is overlooked, all slights found or imagined in real life and on internet are recorded and amplified.

Edited May 9, 2011 by thelerner

[Maddie]

Um I realize in the past I had offered some advice about tips to get chicks, but I do not think that is the real answer at all here. I think the real issue and thus the real solution is about HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF.

 

Lets think about it for a second, how do you feel about women? frustrated, and where do you feel this? inside yourself. Why do you feel frustrated about women? because you don't think they are interested in you, and where do you feel this feeling of rejetion? again inside yourself. The same could be said about all the other emotions you feel about all the other topics that are somehow women related.

 

So what is the answer? to keep chasing an external solution to an internal problem? No, the REAL solution is to change the way you feel about yourself, as it is within yourself that you feel these bad feelings.

 

Think about it, if you felt good about yourself, then when you saw a woman you would project your self approval upon her, rather than your low self validation (which is what you are really feeling when you see a women now).

 

So how do you do this? SOS "same old stuff" I've been saying, get the negative energy out, put the good energy in. There are many methods to do this, one of the ones I use (because it works for me) is that inner smile and healing sound method. Do you see a woman and feel inadequate? work on your lungs since they are realated to self esteem. Do you see a woman and feel timid? Then work on your liver as this relates to assertiveness. Do you see a woman and are unsure about how to approach her? Work on your heart as this relates to propriety in social interactions. Fear women? work on your kidneys. Fret about if they like you, what they think about you? work on your spleen, ect. The ironic thing is the more you do this the less you will care about what women think about you, the better you will think about yourself, and most ironic of all once you feel good about yourself, then others (including women) will be able to feel good about you too ;-).