taoist lovemaking and karezza

[Sloppy Zhang]

Well I dont need to get too big. I was going to the gym and my sifu told me it shows because I lost my flexibility, and I became stiff. Now that I lost muscle I need to strike a balance.

 

The whole "building muscle destroys flexibility" is an urban legend that was floating around Karate circles in the 70's. An attempt to maintain the whole "traditional is better". Then somewhere down the line, intelligent people slapped themselves in the face and realized that correct workouts can actually IMPROVE flexibility while building muscle. No need to run away from the facts of science just so you can hide in your tradition.

 

Find a physical trainer, or ask around here for how to build muscle but stay flexible.

 

Meantime the men, are told it's wrong to like ANY woman, young or even old. Even of the same age group.

 

Where have you heard this? I am a man, and have never heard this. None of my other guy friends have ever heard anything like this.

 

Where is this coming from?

 

it's all about 'mememe' isn't it? So what if I choose to commit suicide, I'm the only one suffering. In the end I might end up saving more lives that way. At least in this lifetime. If in the next lifetime I come back, I can commit suicide again, and again. I'm a dysfunctional soul anyways. In the end though if people just let go of emotional attachment they'd be far better off without me. Nobody needs me. I'm the last and only person in my lineage and so far I suck tremendously. My father's brother sucks with women too, it seems he'll never make a family. I'm an only child. Nature is not calling me, so maybe I was meant to end it. As for my family, oh well, it probably is what was meant to be.

 

Okay, sorry, I must have missed something.... how EXACTLY will suicide help other people? How exactly is committing suicide life after life helpful AT ALL?

 

I don't encourage suicide, I've made that pretty clear. But for someone who brings it up a lot, you don't have very clear, articulated reasons for why you should do it. Which makes me think you don't REALLY want to do it, but like so many other things, it's an easy out.

Edited May 19, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[JustARandomPanda]

I'm fine with doing most of the work when it comes to physical needs but the problem is she is never satisfied. She always wants more, and wouldn't give anything in return.

 

Who is "she"? Can you give at least the first name of this She who fucked you over constantly?

[Non]

Who is "she"? Can you give at least the first name of this She who fucked you over constantly?

 

 

all of womankind.

 

If you dont have muscle then act like an overbearingly dominant bad-ass or be an asshole. That'll make her think your 'bad-assedness/jerkiness' makes up for the lack of muscle.

 

And to say that women do more work than men? Come on.. MAYBE just maybe when it comes to the argument whether one enjoys life more than the other they may be equal. Depending on where you live though of course and the rules/regulations but in a "normal" society women are all queens. They get laid more often and when it comes to evolutionary biology theory, sex is pretty much the goal of life. In spiritual theory sex and sexual energy is the most sacred thing. So they perhaps have the most basic thing a human being requires for healthy living if you're not some kind of monk living off of transmutation practices which are extremely hard to find and rare.

 

Also.. a lotof men just get what they can.. and not even care too much about looks. Usually it's only the men who get a lot of chicks that care so much about looks (as in take because when it comes to being alpha women submit themselves to them, they don't really call that a "choice", whether it was by violent force or not)

 

And I see women like this: for every good looking women it seems they all have a swarm of gangsters that surround them. They're all untouchable and guarded by evil men.

Edited May 20, 2011 by Non

[Pietro]

Hi Non,

indeed women as they get old fall get it much worse than guys.

 

Look at this graph:

 

 

 

from OkCupid. I love okcupid blog. It has great statistics with a size of data that is much more than what any academic study can do.

 

Never in your life will you be as attractive as a 21 years old sexy chick! NEVER ever ever. Not in this life time. Not's gona happen, sorry. But as time goes by the same girl will start to be a woman that is starting to feel her age, that is getting near the point where she cannot have kids. And once she cannot have kids anymore her desirability decreases drastically. Think how terrible must be for a women who owned the world to fall from there. And be seen as less attractive as you are right now.

 

Look, I am 40. I have no problem in going out with a woman my age or older, but if I want to have kids in my life I MUST go with younger women.

 

And although everybody seem not to care about kids, actually we all do. We are just under this spell where we think we don't care. But start to go to tantra workshops and then you will see nearly all the women over thirty facing that problem. Women below thirty are unraveling what this person and that person did to them ages ago. Or are deciding what to do in their life. Women over thirty are either too old, or feeling the clock.

 

We carry on ourselves the error that as a society we did. Buying into the feminist point of view was one, and it fucked up both men and women. Thinking we could remain forever adolescents and work was more important than family was the second. It's not your fault, it's not their fault. WE ALL AS A SOCIETY GOT CONFUSED. Please find patience and compassion, and try to make the best of this situation.

 

 

On a different note:

Serene, I thought you were much younger. I did not realize you were 40. Where are you based? You want to come out? :-)

You know taoists should go out with taoists. It's a law of nature ;-)

[Sloppy Zhang]

On a different note:

Serene, I thought you were much younger. I did not realize you were 40. Where are you based? You want to come out? :-)

You know taoists should go out with taoists. It's a law of nature ;-)

 

TheTaoBums- Taoist Singles Dating Site

 

I can see the commercials now..........

 

 

[Gjeken]

all of womankind.

 

If you dont have muscle then act like an overbearingly dominant bad-ass or be an asshole. That'll make her think your 'bad-assedness/jerkiness' makes up for the lack of muscle.

 

And to say that women do more work than men? Come on.. MAYBE just maybe when it comes to the argument whether one enjoys life more than the other they may be equal. Depending on where you live though of course and the rules/regulations but in a "normal" society women are all queens. They get laid more often and when it comes to evolutionary biology theory, sex is pretty much the goal of life. In spiritual theory sex and sexual energy is the most sacred thing. So they perhaps have the most basic thing a human being requires for healthy living if you're not some kind of monk living off of transmutation practices which are extremely hard to find and rare.

 

Also.. a lotof men just get what they can.. and not even care too much about looks. Usually it's only the men who get a lot of chicks that care so much about looks (as in take because when it comes to being alpha women submit themselves to them, they don't really call that a "choice", whether it was by violent force or not)

 

And I see women like this: for every good looking women it seems they all have a swarm of gangsters that surround them. They're all untouchable and guarded by evil men.

 

 

There are also beautiful women that rarely get approached by men because men find them intimidating.

Then there many beautiful single moms that won't get many dates because they often get rejected by men because of their child or they only get used for sex.

Everything isn't as black and white as you think and experiencing some bad situations and then projecting it to the rest of the female population isn't fair to the women you come in contact with.

Everyone both male and female is their own individual with different life stories and feelings and should be treated as such.

I know some other guys that are good with women and they are not thugs, bad-asses or jerks, they are pretty normal guys with healthy confidence and they feel good about themselves so that is what they project and it's

what women feel in their presence. Women are mostly guided by their emotions and feelings so if a man

has a good "non needy" energy and vibe about them they will naturally be more attractive to women.

I could be wrong but this talk about gangsters and bad-asses gets all the beautiful women sounds more like media influence than real world? If anything the women that are attracted to these kinds of men are VERY low quality and fucked up women that you don't want in your life anyway.

 

Why do you never answer any questions about what you do in situations with women or where you get these ideas from?

Have you ever been in a situation where a woman smiled at you or made long eye-contact with you or showed any interest in you at all?

What did you do in that situation?

Women will rarley approach a guy even if he is very good looking, so it doesn't matter if you look like Brad Pitt or not YOU have to lead and start talking to her that's just the way it is.

If you start to feel better about yourself and feel attractive then this will project outwards in your presence and body language and women will start to notice and they will give you signs like eye contact, smiling and moving closer to your position and then it's YOUR job to lead the interaction where you want it to go. And everyone gets rejected, even if you are the biggest ladies man on the planet there will still be women that don't find you attractive for whatever reason. Just say fuck it and move on, life is short.

Edited May 20, 2011 by Gjeken

[Enishi]

Nature and genetics can seem unfair at times, but one should not lose hope.

 

Attraction works on a bit of a curve I've noticed. The range of people you are attracted to depend partly on your own self-perception of your attractiveness and social position. Now that I'm 29 I feel more attracted to women in the 29-35 range then I did when I was 19. Perhaps when I'm 39 I will feel more attracted to 40+ women than I do now.

Edited May 20, 2011 by Enishi

[Non]

"If you start to feel better about yourself and feel attractive then this will project outwards in your presence and body language and women will start to notice and they will give you signs like eye contact, smiling and moving closer to your position and then it's YOUR job to lead the interaction where you want it to go."

 

There's almost no way a 25 yr old virgin can feel good.

 

Women are being very selfish if they expect every man to feel totally 100% confident and secure and bla bla bad assed, etc.

 

And they may miss out on the best of men simply because they only care about display.

Edited May 20, 2011 by Non

[Aetherous]

There's almost no way a 25 yr old virgin can feel good.

 

Of course there is. Pay for a prostitute so you can finally get over this stupid mental block. It's all in your mind, man. Virginity is just a label that you're continually casting upon yourself.

[Enishi]

Good suggestion center.

 

Seeing a provider is how I got over my own blocks and lost my virginity as well. It's not the 'best' option IMO but if you find an escort who is genuinely kind it can really help.

Edited May 20, 2011 by Enishi

[neiye]

I second this.

Any suggestion that invites this guy "Non" to act in a constructive way (no suicide, nor anything of this taste)and get out of his mind is really good. But some people here just go on answering in a mental level and give gentle stroke to his never-ending self dialog. No one can do anything to help when people are not ready and eager to change anyway, but all the more when it is some web based kind of counselling.

 

It reminds me a time where I was kind of depressed.I was 15 years younger and my 10 years relationship had just ended: she left me for another man. I thought that I could not go through it. I thought my life was destroyed and that I could not do anything good anyway. I felt I was a failure. Someone told me that at least he could see that I was able to lace up my shoes, go to the groceries, call my mum to ask about how she was etc..and that wasn't consistent with being a complete failure.

I suddenly realized the difference between thinking our life and actually living. It took me two more months to get completely out of the depression, but I clearly did thanks to this reminder.Thoughts are just thoughts, living is acting.

 

Just my two pennies.

 

Good suggestion center.

 

Seeing a provider is how I got over my own blocks and lost my virginity as well. It's not the 'best' option IMO but if you find an escort who is genuinely kind it can really help.

Edited May 20, 2011 by neiye

[Sloppy Zhang]

"If you start to feel better about yourself and feel attractive then this will project outwards in your presence and body language and women will start to notice and they will give you signs like eye contact, smiling and moving closer to your position and then it's YOUR job to lead the interaction where you want it to go."

 

There's almost no way a 25 yr old virgin can feel good.

 

Yeah, there is, in all of the dozens of ways that people have suggested to you in all of the dozens of your threads- start working out, like your body, start going out, hang out with more people in general, get to know some women, work on relationships in general, and, if it's really THAT important to you, when get sex any way you can.

 

But really, you're going to have to work on the underlying problems. Because even if you have some sex just to have sex, I highly doubt that it'd help with your relationships in general- "yeah, I had sex, but it wasn't real" and blah blah blah.

 

But do what you feel you have to do.

 

Women are being very selfish if they expect every man to feel totally 100% confident and secure and bla bla bad assed, etc.

 

And women can say the same thing about guys because they all only want the super skinny big breasted bimbos.

[Gjeken]

"If you start to feel better about yourself and feel attractive then this will project outwards in your presence and body language and women will start to notice and they will give you signs like eye contact, smiling and moving closer to your position and then it's YOUR job to lead the interaction where you want it to go."

 

There's almost no way a 25 yr old virgin can feel good.

 

Women are being very selfish if they expect every man to feel totally 100% confident and secure and bla bla bad assed, etc.

 

And they may miss out on the best of men simply because they only care about display.

 

Yes there is! I can send you the program i used. After using it for a while you won't need anything external to feel good about yourself and women will start to show up in your life.

If you follow the instructions exactly you will be a changed man and then you get to have choice with women that most guys only dream about

You will still be you, only difference is you will be the best possible version of yourself.

Just PM me your e-mail if you want it and i will send it to you.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Gjeken

[Non]

I DO NOT WANT A PROSTITUTE.

 

NOR DO I REQUIRE IT.

 

Why is it that I have to "move up the ranks" by seeing other women to get to more women?

 

This is exactly why virgins can never find anyone. Because women expect perfection. They expect every man to have experience.

 

A prostitute is NOT the answer. Not for me anyway.

 

WTF am I going to do reject the most beautiful woman in the world just because "she has no experience"?

 

It's not that it's a "mental block". Well it might be but actually it not NEED BE a mental block, others just need to be willingto understand that I'm not perfect. People need smoething when they haven't gotten anything FOR SO LONG.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Non]

It's obvious I won't have the same mindset as a guy with tons of experience.

 

You're going to tell the most beautiful woman in the world, to go see a prostitute, or another man, simply because she has never had any experience before she can get to you?

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[henro]

I still insist you're looking in the wrong places at the wrong kinds of people, even though many on this board have offered great suggestions. Work on yourself, and hang out in places where like minded people are. You're in TCM school, I find it hard to believe there aren't like minded females there. I'm also in TCM school and there are all kinds of women, from hyper-charged Hollywood types to quiet librarians, international students, serious cultivators - all kinds, all ages. I would also suggest more cultivation classes outside of your solo practice and school. Again, get your butt in a room with women who think like you do. Also, do you have any female friends ? Chick buddies can give you great insight.

 

While the prostitute suggestion is not completely crazy, I wouldn't suggest it to Non. Though it might build his confidence, and she could certainly teach him a few things, I think he's a bit too delicate for that world.

[Non]

it's actually also a mental block when people judge me based on whether I act like an experienced guy who's been laid quite enough before. But they are blocking themselves from me.

 

If that is what nature is anyway.

[Non]

I still insist you're looking in the wrong places at the wrong kinds of people, even though many on this board have offered great suggestions. Work on yourself, and hang out in places where like minded people are. You're in TCM school, I find it hard to believe there aren't like minded females there. I'm also in TCM school and there are all kinds of women, from hyper-charged Hollywood types to quiet librarians, international students, serious cultivators - all kinds, all ages. I would also suggest more cultivation classes outside of your solo practice and school. Again, get your butt in a room with women who think like you do. Also, do you have any female friends ? Chick buddies can give you great insight.

 

While the prostitute suggestion is not completely crazy, I wouldn't suggest it to Non. Though it might build his confidence, and she could certainly teach him a few things, I think he's a bit too delicate for that world.

 

it is not too hard to believe that simply because I'm around women who think like I do will care any differently.

 

Women are women, enlightened or not. They're still the same.

[Non]

Of course there is. Pay for a prostitute so you can finally get over this stupid mental block. It's all in your mind, man. Virginity is just a label that you're continually casting upon yourself.

 

 

it's biological not mere mental.

[Non]

and you all say you believe in "love" yet you say I require a prostitute before I can "move up the ranks".

[Aetherous]

You're just stumbling over yourself, and it was a suggestion to help you move forward in your life. It's better to just get it over with, since it obviously bothers you.

 

Love comes later, when you actually get to know a girl and like her (for a good amount of time).

 

But first things first! Take care of yourself (especially your self perception and beliefs about what you're capable of).

[Sloppy Zhang]

This is exactly why virgins can never find anyone. Because women expect perfection. They expect every man to have experience.

 

Non, if your logic was actually correct, and the explanation for how things worked in the world, NO ONE would get laid, because you need experience to get laid, but you can't get experience without getting laid. Yet people get laid, now don't they? How do they do it? How do they get experience? Same way everyone else gets experience in every other field: by DOING something!

 

WTF am I going to do reject the most beautiful woman in the world just because "she has no experience"?

 

WTF is that even supposed to do? The suggestion for the escort was to get you laid so you can get over your ridiculous mental block about you not having any experiences. It's extreme, yes, but the root point is that you have to do SOMETHING that will break you out of the cycle that you've trapped YOURSELF in.

 

If you don't want to go get an escort, you don't have to, but for fuck's sake, do SOMETHING! You keep saying that you do stuff, but you never tell anybody what you're doing or what you've done, and it has obviously NOT paid off, because you keep talking about the same old shit! It's getting old.

 

others just need to be willingto understand that I'm not perfect. People need smoething when they haven't gotten anything FOR SO LONG.

 

The thing is, most people DO realize this. The turnoff for people isn't that the other person is not perfect, it's how the other person DEALS with that. If you act insecure and defensive, people wonder what's wrong with you. If you don't let it affect you, people like the fact that you are comfortable enough accepting your own faults that, hey, maybe you will accept their problems too.

 

It's obvious I won't have the same mindset as a guy with tons of experience.

 

Well duh.

 

I got Chinese food the other day, and my fortune cookie fortune said "they can because they think they can." Maybe you should think about that when you ponder how all those virgins all got laid over and over again until they became those rock hard studs that are getting all of the chicks.

 

You're going to tell the most beautiful woman in the world, to go see a prostitute, or another man, simply because she has never had any experience before she can get to you?

 

The fuck? Where are you getting this stuff?

 

I figure the only reason someone here would tell her something like that is if she routinely came by with the same threads that you do, and had refused all of the advice that had already been given.

 

it's actually also a mental block when people judge me based on whether I act like an experienced guy who's been laid quite enough before. But they are blocking themselves from me.

 

And you are blocking yourself from people by judging them based on what your own litter theory is, rather actually, you know, getting to know them.

 

it is not too hard to believe that simply because I'm around women who think like I do will care any differently.

 

Women are women, enlightened or not. They're still the same.

 

You don't think that women will act any differently. Yet you are a man who admits that he does not think how all the "other guys" do. So if you're a man who thinks apart from other men, why can't there be women who think apart from other women?

 

When you attempt to apply your little worldview to, well, the world, it falls apart rather quickly.

 

The sooner you see this, the sooner you can let it go, and the sooner you can start to do something constructive with your life.

[Non]

 

Non, if your logic was actually correct, and the explanation for how things worked in the world, NO ONE would get laid, because you need experience to get laid, but you can't get experience without getting laid. Yet people get laid, now don't they? How do they do it? How do they get experience? Same way everyone else gets experience in every other field: by DOING something!

 

nonono... virgins DO get laid, when they're young.

 

But when you're as old as me, 25... virginity is immaturity.

 

Even when you're 21 yrs old.

 

Even out of high school and into college.

 

Even at 15 fucking yrs old.

 

"you're a virgin? OMG. God Help You."

 

Women wouldn't touch virgins with a stick as long as the equator of the fucking Earth.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Non]

You're just stumbling over yourself, and it was a suggestion to help you move forward in your life. It's better to just get it over with, since it obviously bothers you.

 

Love comes later, when you actually get to know a girl and like her (for a good amount of time).

 

But first things first! Take care of yourself (especially your self perception and beliefs about what you're capable of).

 

 

Yea and that requires the best sex ever first right?

 

Women will judge you on how good you perform at sex FIRST before they get to know you.

 

That's just great.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Non]

guess I'll stay hopeless simply because I didn't lose my virginity at 15 yrs old. Because no woman wants a virgin at my age, not even as a last resort.