taoist lovemaking and karezza

[Non]

man I'd love to see who the hell keeps giving me the pluses in all my posts.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Non]

Non, if your logic was actually correct, and the explanation for how things worked in the world, NO ONE would get laid, because you need experience to get laid, but you can't get experience without getting laid. Yet people get laid, now don't they? How do they do it? How do they get experience? Same way everyone else gets experience in every other field: by DOING something!

 

 

 

WTF is that even supposed to do? The suggestion for the escort was to get you laid so you can get over your ridiculous mental block about you not having any experiences. It's extreme, yes, but the root point is that you have to do SOMETHING that will break you out of the cycle that you've trapped YOURSELF in.

 

If you don't want to go get an escort, you don't have to, but for fuck's sake, do SOMETHING! You keep saying that you do stuff, but you never tell anybody what you're doing or what you've done, and it has obviously NOT paid off, because you keep talking about the same old shit! It's getting old.

 

 

 

The thing is, most people DO realize this. The turnoff for people isn't that the other person is not perfect, it's how the other person DEALS with that. If you act insecure and defensive, people wonder what's wrong with you. If you don't let it affect you, people like the fact that you are comfortable enough accepting your own faults that, hey, maybe you will accept their problems too.

 

 

 

Well duh.

 

I got Chinese food the other day, and my fortune cookie fortune said "they can because they think they can." Maybe you should think about that when you ponder how all those virgins all got laid over and over again until they became those rock hard studs that are getting all of the chicks.

 

 

 

The fuck? Where are you getting this stuff?

 

I figure the only reason someone here would tell her something like that is if she routinely came by with the same threads that you do, and had refused all of the advice that had already been given.

 

 

 

And you are blocking yourself from people by judging them based on what your own litter theory is, rather actually, you know, getting to know them.

 

 

 

You don't think that women will act any differently. Yet you are a man who admits that he does not think how all the "other guys" do. So if you're a man who thinks apart from other men, why can't there be women who think apart from other women?

 

When you attempt to apply your little worldview to, well, the world, it falls apart rather quickly.

 

The sooner you see this, the sooner you can let it go, and the sooner you can start to do something constructive with your life.

 

 

you're older than me. how the hell could you relate?

[Sloppy Zhang]

nonono... virgins DO get laid, when they're young.

 

.....

 

Even at 15 fucking yrs old.

 

So how old DO you have to be before you have sex? Huh? You gotta be prepubescent to have sex? Is that too old? Really? Are you actually reading what you are saying?

 

Women wouldn't touch virgins with a stick as long as the equator of the fucking Earth.

 

Or *gasp* find someone who actually gets to know you before they fuck you, as in, willing to have a relationship based on, oh, what's the word, RELATIONSHIP!

 

Again, you'd be surprised how much people are willing to accept if they find YOU to be accepting of yourself AND them.

 

If you took the time to actually build relationships with people outside of the projections in your mind, you'd know this.

 

Yea and that requires the best sex ever first right?

 

Women will judge you on how good you perform at sex FIRST before they get to know you.

 

That's just great.

 

Okay, so how about this (warning, misogyny and douchebaggery to follow) : practice girl.

 

Find a girl you really don't care about. Not particularly attracted to, not someone you particularly know or see on a daily basis. And, well, practice on her. Practice talking to her. Practice jokes, pickup lines, and your sexual techniques.

 

As an interesting note, a lot of people find they get along great to women they AREN'T attracted to, because they aren't freaking out about every little thing he or she says, and that helps things go naturally.

 

But, hey, if you don't find true love with her, well she's just for practice. Once you're a stud, break up with her and get together with someone who really matters. Then you won't be a virgin, and you'd have already gotten all of the practice you will need!

 

you're older than me. how the hell could you relate?

 

I'm 21. How old are you?

[henro]

it is not too hard to believe that simply because I'm around women who think like I do will care any differently.

 

Women are women, enlightened or not. They're still the same.

 

 

So by your logic there's no point to any of this - cultivation, enlightenment, etc.

 

Women are women, men are men, and that's it ?

[Non]

Or *gasp* find someone who actually gets to know you before they fuck you, as in, willing to have a relationship based on, oh, what's the word, RELATIONSHIP!

 

I'm not saying they don't get to know me before they have sex with me fucko. Don't you read what I say? Women care more about sexual performance first before they get to know you. Or rather, seeing your sexual performance *IS* getting to know you for them.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Non]

So by your logic there's no point to any of this - cultivation, enlightenment, etc.

 

Women are women, men are men, and that's it ?

 

Yes.

 

No point to anything.

 

Nothing really exists.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Aetherous]

Yea and that requires the best sex ever first right?

 

Women will judge you on how good you perform at sex FIRST before they get to know you.

 

That's just great.

 

I wasn't saying any of that. I was just saying, you're hung up over this "virginity", so do something about it.

 

Or don't...it's not a big deal.

 

Know exactly what it is you want.

[Sloppy Zhang]

I'm not saying they don't get to know me before they have sex with me fucko. Don't you read what I say? Women care more about sexual performance first before they get to know you. Or rather, seeing your sexual performance *IS* getting to know you for them.

 

And what I, and many, many, MANY other people have tried to tell you DOZENS of times- that is not always the case for every person.

 

Which is why I told you to find someone for whom your little scenario is not the case- or, as I originally put it:

 

Or *gasp* find someone who actually gets to know you before they fuck you, as in, willing to have a relationship based on, oh, what's the word, RELATIONSHIP!

 

Know exactly what it is you want.

 

This.

 

So, Non, I'll ask you AGAIN:

 

What do you want? What are you short, mid, and long term goals? What are you doing, what have you done, and what are you willing to do to get there?

[Mahberry]

I'm not saying they don't get to know me before they have sex with me fucko. Don't you read what I say? Women care more about sexual performance first before they get to know you. Or rather, seeing your sexual performance *IS* getting to know you for them.

How do you know all these?

[Non]

Hi Non, how are you?

 

At your TCM school, do they at all stress the importance of healing yourself before you can heal others? Your yin/yang split appears to be huge. Are you at all interested in hopping on the table yourself for some treatments? I trust you would benefit from spending some quality time off line, beneath the hands of an expert healer. Money better spent than with a call girl. :-)

 

 

it's really all too personal.. and way.. wayyy.. to much it would seem.

[Non]

And what I, and many, many, MANY other people have tried to tell you DOZENS of times- that is not always the case for every person.

 

Which is why I told you to find someone for whom your little scenario is not the case- or, as I originally put it:

 

 

 

 

 

This.

 

So, Non, I'll ask you AGAIN:

 

What do you want? What are you short, mid, and long term goals? What are you doing, what have you done, and what are you willing to do to get there?

 

again.. you're telling me to find someone who resonates with me and there is none.

 

I have goals of just cultivating and being a healer and helping people. that's it.

 

now obviously I can't do it if I dont have my life in balance. and I haven't found that.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[henro]

again.. you're telling me to find someone who resonates with me and there is none.

 

I have goals of just cultivating and being a healer and helping people. that's it.

 

now obviously I can't do it if I dont have my life in balance. and I haven't found that.

 

 

Really?? There are no women at your TCM school who want to cultivate and be a healer ? Time to switch schools. . .

[Non]

Really?? There are no women at your TCM school who want to cultivate and be a healer ? Time to switch schools. . .

 

i didn't say there weren't any. just none who would care about me. and yea as for cultivators they are rare it seems.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Non]

The bottom line in TCM is finding balance. Yet you admit that you haven't found balance. Are you just going through the motions in your studies? If so, you'll lack wholesome integrity upon graduation.

 

Also, might I suggest that the title of this thread is disingenuous? It has quickly become yet another mimeographed Non thread.

 

I wish enduring peace for you, Non. I really do.

 

well if that's the case then it's another reason to commmit suicide.

[Sloppy Zhang]

again.. you're telling me to find someone who resonates with me and there is none.

 

Er, that's not necessarily true.

 

But if you aren't willing to actually look for that person, than you will never find them.

 

A very interesting person told me "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take". You'll never succeed if you never try, Non. And if you quit after a few failures, then you'll never know success.

 

I have goals of just cultivating and being a healer and helping people. that's it.

 

So Taoist lovemaking, the insanity of women and the modern dating culture have nothing to do with that, do they?

 

Yet they are obviously a big deal for you, and you must work those out.

 

now obviously I can't do it if I dont have my life in balance. and I haven't found that.

 

You don't just "find" it, like you "find" a shiny rock on the forest during an afternoon stroll. At least, not in my experience. You work and you fall, and you fall, and you work, and you fall. You've got to work at it. You've got to do something. You've got to look at yourself and all of the things that you don't like.

 

Also, might I suggest that the title of this thread is disingenuous? It has quickly become yet another mimeographed Non thread.

 

Like the Tao, threads flow. But we can't name each thread "the thread that can be explained is not the true thread", now can we?

 

i didn't say there weren't any. just none who would care about me. and yea as for cultivators they are rare it seems.

 

Well as has been said, you have to care for yourself before others will care about, or for you.

 

Not just women, but PEOPLE IN GENERAL can pick up on someone who is self loathing or resentful, someone who sabotages their own lives through damaging beliefs. People don't want to be around that. They don't want to accept someone like that into their lives, because it is unbalancing to all.

 

So yes, you need to have balance, or at least well enough on your way to it in enough aspects of your life. And part of that means some self appreciation so you can appreciate others.

 

So it's not just a bunch of generic phrases thrown about to frustrate you or leave you with no clear path about what to do. But YOU must take the steps.

[Non]

They don't want to accept someone like that into their lives, because it is unbalancing to all.

 

Good. another reason to commit suicide.

[Sloppy Zhang]

Good. another reason to commit suicide.

 

You even reading what I'm writing?

 

If your goal is to cultivate, that involves becoming balanced. Suicide will not balance you. It will only set you back.

 

You want to get better relationships, meet people along the way as an added bonus? Or at least figure out what's going on with you and women? I'm trying to tell you, from what I know from experience and I see all around.

 

Suicide doesn't help with anything you've ever brought up.

[Non]

You even reading what I'm writing?

 

If your goal is to cultivate, that involves becoming balanced. Suicide will not balance you. It will only set you back.

 

You want to get better relationships, meet people along the way as an added bonus? Or at least figure out what's going on with you and women? I'm trying to tell you, from what I know from experience and I see all around.

 

Suicide doesn't help with anything you've ever brought up.

 

 

doesn't help me but it wd help others get rid of me.

[Sloppy Zhang]

doesn't help me but it wd help others get rid of me.

 

And how exactly are others benefited by your death?

[Non]

And how exactly are others benefited by your death?

 

if all I can be is this pathetic soul that nobody can bear with then why not rid the earth of such pestilence? come on it's common sense.

[Sloppy Zhang]

if all I can be is this pathetic soul that nobody can bear with then why not rid the earth of such pestilence? come on it's common sense.

 

And what tells you that

 

1) they even regard you as pestilent to begin with

 

and that

 

2) your death would solve other "poor souls" from bothering them?

[Mahberry]

if all I can be is this pathetic soul that nobody can bear with then why not rid the earth of such pestilence? come on it's common sense.

No, don't think like that. You're insignificant. You have no friends. When you die nobody would care. You're not that important.

 

You can keep making stories and theories of why you're an unrefined diamond in a cruel unfair world in your head to blunt the pain of being a loser and not put in any effort to bring happiness into your life.

 

Over the years when everyone is moving forward in their lives, you'll still be this person right now, only older with an aging body that won't be getting any younger.

 

Then the pain will be unbearable but it'd be too late by then because you'll rather stay in your comfort zone and take solace in your poor me stories than take the pain and grow like everyone ordinary person out there.

 

So, really consider your options. Push yourself and grow or keep being this person you are right now.

 

It takes a lot of determination to go all the way with suicide, you're not one of them.

[Non]

No, don't think like that. You're insignificant. You have no friends. When you die nobody would care. You're not that important.

 

You can keep making stories and theories of why you're an unrefined diamond in a cruel unfair world in your head to blunt the pain of being a loser and not put in any effort to bring happiness into your life.

 

Over the years when everyone is moving forward in their lives, you'll still be this person right now, only older with an aging body that won't be getting any younger.

 

Then the pain will be unbearable but it'd be too late by then because you'll rather stay in your comfort zone and take solace in your poor me stories than take the pain and grow like everyone ordinary person out there.

 

So, really consider your options. Push yourself and grow or keep being this person you are right now.

 

It takes a lot of determination to go all the way with suicide, you're not one of them.

 

see it's posts like that which only makes things worse. I AM making changes. I dont see any results.

 

so fuck you. don't play with this.

 

see.. you're getting happiness now right? i'd think it's at other's expense though right now.

 

and you very well can trigger something you don't want.

 

You don't know me.

 

I don't know any of you.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Non

[Andrei]

again.. you're telling me to find someone who resonates with me and there is none.

 

I have goals of just cultivating and being a healer and helping people. that's it.

 

now obviously I can't do it if I dont have my life in balance. and I haven't found that.

 

why don't you go to a chinese massage parlor? There are plenty of girls there that are healers and helping people. I am deadly serious when I say that, I'm not joking. You need to learn how a woman touches someone, and by the way you need a lot of touching from a woman to heal your wounds.

 

I was same as you, virgin at 24 so please follow my advices because I was like you, there is hope. First I told you to take dance lessons, because of that you need to touch somebody without talking. Massage has the same effect but is more intimate. So I really advice you to search socially acceptable situations in which you have contact with women's bodies without talking and without judging and without mental discourse. You need to empty that mind of yours because is full of shit, please believe me I was like you, I still have my issues but I am working on them. And you need to behave socially acceptable, you need to learn to smile to dress nice to be polite to smell nice you need to unlearn to be the caveman you are now (at least in your head you are a caveman). Please evolve.

[mjjbecker]

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/6395-releasing/page__p__73658__hl__sedona__fromsearch__1entry73658

 

The method works from the position that our emotional state is a primary cause of problems in our life. By directed releasing we can let go, or release, these emotions. The clear state of mind then clearly benefits our lives.

 

The basic questions you ask yourself to let go of a feeling you have at any one time are:

 

What is my now feeling?

Could I welcome/allow it?

Could I let it go?

Would I let it go?

When?

 

Answers are simply yes or no. It is NOT about analysing the feeling, but simply acknowledging it, allowing it to be, and letting go. There is no judgement of right or wrong regarding the feeling.

 

I relation to habits, before we do a habitual action, we can release on it. Once the feelings have gone, then the drive to do the action is gone.

 

Of course sometimes we will do something and not think about letting go of the feelings behind it. That is ok. You simply release afterwards. Often feelings of guilt cause us to continue doing the things we feel guilty about. A case of what the hell, I'm a bad person, I've started now, etc.

 

While there are many names given to the different emotions, according the the method, there are four root emotions:

 

The desire for control, approval/love, security/survival and separation.

 

When asking what feeling you have, it is useful to look for the core emotion at the root. Dig out the root and you get rid of it. Leave the root and it can come back.

 

While releasing, it is likely that a myriad of feelings will arise. Just let go of them until a feeling of peace happens. If you feel 'stuck', allow the feeling to be and then release on that.

 

Aside from the pricey audio courses out, there is a book which I have and which has a lot of detailed information in it.

 

http://www.amazon.co...n...8175&sr=8-1

 

http://www.amazon.co...p...8306&sr=8-1

 

It isn't expensive and I recommend it whole heartedly. It isn't the answer to every issue or problem, but it is a piece of the puzzle.

 

And this:

 

The prayer of St. Francis

 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy;

 

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

 

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Stop_Worrying_and_Start_Living

 

Another good book. Some of the advice I still use today.

 

I've used all of the above, at times when I have been in a dark place. The process of letting go of pain can be difficult and painful. I have in the past compared it to food poisoning. The sickness inside has to come out. Once out though, it is like being reborn.

 

The single most beneficial practice I follow now is Stillness Movement neigong. On a physical and mental level it brings me some peace. It also takes me towards being able to help others.