Chi of a beautiful person

[Romie]

Starhawk - I have a name (or at least a handle) and yet I am addressed as "the female reader". While it may seem egocentric of me to assume it's just me you're addressing, your post encompassed a response to mine and at the time I was the only one who indicated their gender as female. If you sincerely were addressing all members with XX chromosomes, and not acting passive-aggressively, it's a non-issue. I think you've already been eloquently replied to otherwise by other members, so I'll leave my reply at that

 

Non, I am replying to you to tell you I'm not going to reply to you. This may seem backwards, but I don't think you're going to get anything out of conversing but fuel for your hatred, and I thought you should know that. I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you or invalidating you, but your reactions make me feel it's something I don't want to lend my energy to.

Edited May 10, 2011 by Romie

[Sloppy Zhang]

and they're being assholes because they dont know any better?

 

so why blame?

 

dont you find it ironic that you're calling the "nice guy's" jerks when they're complaining of the assholes women go out with as opposed to more nicer guys? How are they assholes in the first place? Maybe asshole is not exactly the word. Ignorant maybe?

 

Non, I said this in this thread and in other threads-

 

As people grow up in society, they learn to read social cues. They learn how to tell when people are interested and when they aren't.

 

Now some people legitimately cannot read these cues. Their brain is just not wired to do it. Sometime it's a mild form of Asperger's syndrome, or things like that.

 

But if you don't KNOW that you have it, then you are frustrated by a problem you will NEVER be able to solve. Once you know about it, you can find ways to work with it. Otherwise you are undercutting yourself each and every time.

 

Which is why I have always suggested you try to get some kind of professional help. They can tell you if you are like this.

 

I dont know any other way to explain the double standards women might use to filter out the 'attractives' and 'unattractives'.

 

How about "developed" or "undeveloped"? "Capable" or "incapable"? Capable in conversation, career, the bed, capable around other men, capable around other women, etc. "Bad boys" are usually seen as being tough, independent, unfazed, and all of those traits which tend towards capability.

 

You can also be a legitimately nice guy and be all of those things.

 

Now your stereotypical "doormat" is NONE of those things- unathletic, uncomfortable in social situations, can't even establish his own boundaries, so how can anyone expect him to protect theirs? Doesn't deal well with change, so isn't spontaneous, etc?

 

See where I'm going? I'm not professing this to be a hard and fast thing. Just throwing ideas out there.

 

So something 'bad' is something a woman doesn't care to judge something a 'badboy' or attractive male does while the unattractive male is seen as a creep, weirdo, immature, demon, etc.

 

Have you been judged to be any of these things? Have people actually accused you of being any of these things? They seem to be recurring themes in your posts.

 

You also have to note it's only guys that can be labelled any of the sort like creep, etc. because in general men are bigger/scarier than women and women don't usually do the approach. I'm just saying.

 

And I wish that women could do the approach because nowadays just about anything a woman says goes.. she can say you're a creep because you looked at her in the same way an attractive guy does.

 

This is where reading social cues comes in handy. You gotta be able to tell if a woman would be comfortable if you, say, start looking at the plunge in her neckline, or if she's going to find it creepy that you can't keep your eyes from falling.

 

And if you can't read social cues, then you are never going to know this, and it will be painful for both parties.

 

Sometimes it seems more right if the woman at least gives a signal or something so it doesn't look like I'm being aggressive.

 

And often times they do. But you MUST be able to see in and know what it is.

 

If a bashful man had seen me at that time, he probably would have been intimidated to come up to me. I wish he would've; I probably would have met some of the nicer men that treated me better. As it was, I usually ended up with the A-holes in the bars; the ones I'd usually end up in a big donnybrook with and then someone would strangle me because of my horrible alcoholic ways at the time.

 

It's why I personally encourage women to take the initiative and talk to guys, because TONS of "nice guys" are like this. They would like nothing more than to talk to a woman, but. just. can't. get. the. ball. rolling. And I've seen tons of women, even if the WANT a guy, will literally bend over backwards to give the guy a not-so-subtle hint that she wants him to initiate. So she's over there making a scene, all because "he has to come and talk to me". It's ridiculous!

 

But as it stands, the majority of the guys who have the balls (arrogance?) to approach women right from the start are usually the guys who aren't in it for the long haul- which might explain why they are not afraid to try, because it's no big deal if they fail, they'll just try to pick up another girl. But with "nice guys", you know, everything is riding on getting it just right, because, you know, that's the girl of their dreams.

[starhawk]

Friends of Tao bums,

 

It seems I have encouraged disharmony and I apologize for the infighting I have caused. Instead I want to promote harmony.

 

You see, Tao has no social construct. To become Tao is to accept a lower position. Tao can exist without civilization, unbeknowst to many people. Perhaps your own response to me reflects your own response to yourself. If I purposely present a distorted topic, and you see a distorted figure, I am truly distorted, or do you see even more distortions from yourself?

 

 

I see. Perhaps I really am socially awkward. Or perhaps, paradoxically I have chosen to be socially awkward, or chosen a strange position to defend. But perhaps I speak for the voiceless-- those who never learned the conventions. In fact, just so you know I seem to get along just fine with females otherwise in real life, thank you.

 

 

Ronie-- it appears you are upset. My eloquent reply to you is to be calm. Then you can help others.

 

 

Please everyone just respond only when you are calm.

[ShaktiMama]

Friends of Tao bums,

 

 

 

 

Ronie-- it appears you are upset. My eloquent reply to you is to be calm. Then you can help others.

 

 

Please everyone just respond only when you are calm.

 

Open mouth, exchange foot. Quit while you are ahead.

 

This is one of the most condescending things you can say to a woman. Clue#1

'My response if you said this to me on the street is probably to slap you for behaving like an insensitive a$$hole. Clue #2

 

Also...don't lecture us. Which makes you a condescending a$$hole to both men and women .Clue #3

Edited May 10, 2011 by ShaktiMama

[Non]

When it comes to comparing men and women it seems women are always going to top the males. The males have superficial strengths but women have internal power. At least that's the way it seems.

 

When you think of it though in regards to sexuality it's true. Men and women come out usually equal in terms of population size but about 20% more males are born but due mostly to sexual competition (and most if not all competition is based subtly or more explicitly on pro-creation) these males die before the age of 30 ... yet we are related to 80% of our female ancestors while only 10-20% of our male ancestors. This is definitely not equal. It seems only males are judged. For a man, there will always be someone stronger, you will NEVER be strong enough and you will ALWAYS be judged by your external achievements and your successes. As a woman, you can never appear weak enough, but there is a limit to what men do. Still it is insisted that men be judged while women are exempt from any kind of judgement because it's never her fault as she "has no direct involvement" in anything.

 

Do you see the tremendous disparity between men and women, and why there are so many men left out, and hidden from the picture? You only see the men who are in your face.

 

Yea women are abused.. I understand there are and have been for a long time. But women don't have to be subject to this. They don't always have to be the victims. In the end it is Women who decides which men continue their legacy and which don't, whereas some men just force it on the woman. I don't try to force it.

 

Have you ever thought that because of the disparity between men and women you can explain why some men are more aggressive, or bitter, etc. The REAL disparity? And the fact that men are traditionally considered the aggressors while women are 'pacifists'. I don't necessarily agree with that but there are many others who agree, if not subconsciously agree with that. I may, though I don't want to and work on reversing that or at least making it right.

 

It's the men always fighting over the women, any woman. Women sit there and do nothing and are already having guys come up to them because women are naturally "beautiful" and men are "beasts". But women only fight for the the men "on top" whether that be good or bad. As a collective at least or the majority. As long as you keep judging men as alpha and beta you will be judging men as "superior and inferior" as in "better or worse". Whereas a female, an alpha or beta female, yin or yang female, doesn't matter you still get laid, you still got someone who cares for you.

Edited May 10, 2011 by Non

[angelo]

When it comes to comparing men and women it seems women are always going to top the males. The males have superficial strengths but women have internal power. At least that's the way it seems.

 

When you think of it though in regards to sexuality it's true. Men and women come out usually equal in terms of population size but about 20% more males are born but due mostly to sexual competition (and most if not all competition is based subtly or more explicitly on pro-creation) these males die before the age of 30 ... yet we are related to 80% of our female ancestors while only 10-20% of our male ancestors. This is definitely not equal. It seems only males are judged. For a man, there will always be someone stronger, you will NEVER be strong enough and you will ALWAYS be judged by your external achievements and your successes. As a woman, you can never appear weak enough, but there is a limit to what men do. Still it is insisted that men be judged while women are exempt from any kind of judgement because it's never her fault as she "has no direct involvement" in anything.

 

Do you see the tremendous disparity between men and women, and why there are so many men left out, and hidden from the picture?

 

Yea women are abused.. I understand there are and have been for a long time. But women don't have to be subject to this. They don't always have to be the victims. In the end it is Women who decides which men continue their legacy and which don't, whereas some men just force it on the woman. I don't try to force it.

 

Have you ever thought that because of the disparity between men and women you can explain why some men are more aggressive, or bitter, etc. The REAL disparity?

 

It's the men always fighting over the women, any woman. Women sit there and do nothing and are already having guys come up to them because women are naturally "beauty" and men are "beasts". But women only fight for the the men "on top" whether that be good or bad. As a collective at least or the majority. As long as you keep judging men as alpha and beta you will be judging men as "superior and inferior" as in "better or worse". Whereas a female, an alpha and beta female, yin or yang female, doesn't matter you still get laid, you still got someone who cares for you.

 

Dude you're caught up in a matrix.

 

We are vibrational beings on a tiny ball in the middle of the universe.

 

You are creating your own reality.

[Non]

Open mouth, exchange foot. Quit while you are ahead.

 

This is one of the most condescending things you can say to a woman. Clue#1

'My response if you said this to me on the street is probably to slap you for behaving like an insensitive a$$hole. Clue #2

 

Also...don't lecture us. Which makes you a condescending a$$hole to both men and women .Clue #3

 

I dont see how he's being a deliberate asshole.

 

In fact I don't see how what he says it different from what you're saying: "you must love yourself first before yuo love others".

[ShaktiMama]

When it comes to comparing men and women it seems women are always going to top the males. The males have superficial strengths but women have internal power. At least that's the way it seems.

 

When you think of it though in regards to sexuality it's true. Men and women come out usually equal in terms of population size... yet we are related to 80% of our female ancestors while only 10-20% of our male ancestors. This is definitely not equal. It seems only males are judged. For a man, there will always be someone stronger, you will NEVER be strong enough and you will ALWAYS be judged by your external achievements and your successes. As a woman, you can never appear weak enough, but there is a limit to what men do. Still it is insisted that men be judged while women are exempt from any kind of judgement because it's never her fault as she "has no direct involvement" in anything.

 

Do you see the tremendous disparity between men and women, and why there are so many men left out, and hidden from the picture?

 

Yea women are abused.. I understand there are and have been for a long time. But women don't have to be subject to this. They don't always have to be the victims. In the end it is Women who decides which men continue their legacy and which don't, whereas some men just force it on the woman. I don't try to force it.

 

Have you ever thought that because of the disparity between men and women you can explain why some men are more aggressive, or bitter, etc. The REAL disparity?

 

It's the men always fighting over the women, any woman. But women only fight for the the men "on top". As long as you keep judging men as alpha and beta you will be judging men as "superior and inferior" as in "better or worse". Whereas a female, an alpha and beta female, doesn't matter you still get laid.

 

 

I cant believe I am commenting on this but.... I should just learn to walk away. Or at least charge you $250.

 

THESE ARE YOUR PERCEPTIONS! Just because you think or say it is true...DOES NOT MAKE IT TRUE.

 

this is gonna sound cruel but I am going to rewrite what you just wrote and put in Your personal "I"

 

"When it comes to comparing myself and women it seems women are always going to top me. I have superficial strengths but women have internal power. At least that's the way it seems.

 

 

. . . It seems only I am judged. For myself, there will always be someone stronger, I will NEVER be strong enough and I will ALWAYS be judged by my external achievements and my successes. As a woman, you can never appear weak enough, but there is a limit to what I do. Still it is insisted that I be judged while women are exempt from any kind of judgement because it's never her fault as she "has no direct involvement" in anything.

 

 

Do you see the tremendous disparity between myself and women, and why am I left out, and hidden from the picture?

 

 

Alright, non. Own what you can own and leave the rest. Make this about you. Not about other men and not about other women. Once you know you and why you do what you do and are OK with that, then begin on your questions.

[Non]

I cant believe I am commenting on this but.... I should just learn to walk away. Or at least charge you $250.

 

THESE ARE YOUR PERCEPTIONS! Just because you think or say it is true...DOES NOT MAKE IT TRUE.

 

this is gonna sound cruel but I am going to rewrite what you just wrote and put in Your personal "I"

 

"When it comes to comparing myself and women it seems women are always going to top me. I have superficial strengths but women have internal power. At least that's the way it seems.

 

 

. . . It seems only I am judged. For myself, there will always be someone stronger, I will NEVER be strong enough and I will ALWAYS be judged by my external achievements and my successes. As a woman, you can never appear weak enough, but there is a limit to what I do. Still it is insisted that I be judged while women are exempt from any kind of judgement because it's never her fault as she "has no direct involvement" in anything.

 

 

Do you see the tremendous disparity between myself and women, and why am I left out, and hidden from the picture?

 

 

Alright, non. Own what you can own and leave the rest. Make this about you. Not about other men and not about other women. Once you know you and why you do what you do and are OK with that, then begin on your questions.

 

ok.. I don't deny it.

 

I just include "other men" simply because that's the way it seems too.

[ShaktiMama]

I dont see how he's being a deliberate asshole.

 

In fact I don't see how what he says it different from what you're saying: "you must love yourself first before yuo love others".

 

not deliberately. More like an unconscious a$$hole who believes he is right and women's perception is wrong. That puts him up in the winning category of not a clue. That's why I pointed out three clues.

 

He can't see what he is creating with women.

 

A man who loves him self authentically, Charlie sheen is an example of bad self love, will not say those things to women or to men because he knows it is condescending and hurtful. Same goes for women.

[ShaktiMama]

ok.. I don't deny it.

 

I just include "other men" simply because that's the way it seems too.

 

yep, it seems that way because your world is a reflection of your subconscious hopes and fears.

[Non]

double post

Edited May 10, 2011 by Non

[Non]

I cant believe I am commenting on this but.... I should just learn to walk away. Or at least charge you $250.

 

THESE ARE YOUR PERCEPTIONS! Just because you think or say it is true...DOES NOT MAKE IT TRUE.

 

this is gonna sound cruel but I am going to rewrite what you just wrote and put in Your personal "I"

 

"When it comes to comparing myself and women it seems women are always going to top me. I have superficial strengths but women have internal power. At least that's the way it seems.

 

 

. . . It seems only I am judged. For myself, there will always be someone stronger, I will NEVER be strong enough and I will ALWAYS be judged by my external achievements and my successes. As a woman, you can never appear weak enough, but there is a limit to what I do. Still it is insisted that I be judged while women are exempt from any kind of judgement because it's never her fault as she "has no direct involvement" in anything.

 

 

Do you see the tremendous disparity between myself and women, and why am I left out, and hidden from the picture?

 

 

Alright, non. Own what you can own and leave the rest. Make this about you. Not about other men and not about other women. Once you know you and why you do what you do and are OK with that, then begin on your questions.

 

How is it only my reality though if statistics points otherwise?

[Non]

yep, it seems that way because your world is a reflection of your subconscious hopes and fears.

 

I guess it's a huge world I have because it describes the majority of a populace.

[Non]

not deliberately. More like an unconscious a$$hole who believes he is right and women's perception is wrong. That puts him up in the winning category of not a clue. That's why I pointed out three clues.

 

He can't see what he is creating with women.

 

A man who loves him self authentically, Charlie sheen is an example of bad self love, will not say those things to women or to men because he knows it is condescending and hurtful. Same goes for women.

 

So he belives ALL women are wrong and men are right?

 

I don't know where you got that from. If anything he might've thought he himself was right, while another was wrong. if this is the case and you think he's not being open minded, well then what about the others who oppose the views: isn't it the same thing going on there?

[Non]

Alright, nvm then ShaktiMama. I understand what you're saying: their world is your world because yuo make it yours also. Experience is in your own reality. Etc.

[Sloppy Zhang]

You see, Tao has no social construct. To become Tao is to accept a lower position.

 

No social construct, but it accepts a lower position? A lower position IS a social construct! Hmmmmm.... Clouds are part of the Tao, but they're pretty fuckin' high in the sky!

 

When it comes to comparing men and women it seems women are always going to top the males. The males have superficial strengths but women have internal power. At least that's the way it seems.

 

But this perspective is very very very very VERY limited to a MODERN context. And even then, ONLY in a VERY limited modern context. Where, say, a woman can come on to a man, but then accuse him of sexual assault. There's a funny family guy episode title "Peterassment", where Peter is subjected to the sexual advances of his female boss. He's bothered by it, but nobody seems to see the problem- he's a guy, so he should like it. Even when he TRIES to take action against her, nobody buys it. Now if he were a woman and the boss were a man, the boss would get fired even before the facts came out.

 

Which also reminds me of the case with the Duke lacrosse team a couple of years back, accused of sexually assaulting some woman at a party. Man oh man were those boys crucified pretty damn fast. Hey, I'm all up for hating on upper class douchebags who think they own the world. But this was..... it was brutal. And in the end, they were found innocent (and got some pretty hefty compensation). But the point is- all a woman has to do is accuse the guy, and she's "right".

 

So, Non, in these cases I can see where you are coming from.

 

But you have to realize that cases like this ONLY exist because of recent trends, and even then, they are very FEW in number. Not nearly enough to rationally validate any of your conclusions on the scale you want to draw them.

 

As long as you keep judging men as alpha and beta you will be judging men as "superior and inferior" as in "better or worse". Whereas a female, an alpha or beta female, yin or yang female, doesn't matter you still get laid, you still got someone who cares for you.

 

I think Vortex posted something like this in a past thread. It's funny that you remember stuff like this, but never anything else people tell you. Cognitive bias at its finest- see what you want to see, what validates you.

 

Non, you know I've been holding out on you after a LOT of other people have given up, but do you even WANT to do anything about this? Or will you continue to post until you get enough material to regurgitate that supports your position, and everybody else has given up on posting to the contrary because you never read anything that doesn't already agree with you? What will you do once the only voices you hear say "Non, you're right." Then what?

[ShaktiMama]

How is it only my reality though if statistics points otherwise?

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lies,_damned_lies,_and_statistics

 

Doesn't matter. It is your perception of your self and who you are that shapes your perception of the world you live in. Statistics are for groups not for individuals. when we say, "get a clue," we are just asking people to be real.

 

Freud first talked about it but it is by no means a modern concept. We are talking about subjective reality vs objective reality. People get this kinda mixed up and talk in terms of "My truth" vs "your truth." Most of us would like to be liberated from our attachment to living in the subjective world. That's what all the sages tend to talk about. But it can be quite painful to do the process because we start stepping into the unknown.

 

Subjective reality is created by group consensus even when it is not true or real. The important thing is people think it is real and often will fight to the death to protect this illusion their reality is real. Break the group consensus and you break reality and can create a new reality. The brain cannot tell the difference between what is real and imaginary. It will respond with the same chemicals whether the reality is manufactured or objective. We all experience this daily. Yes we really believe that woman on the monitor is sexually attracted to us. I truly am the son of Darth Vader. hehehe...get silly with it.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

 

This is our Shadow side which appears in different forms across major spiritual traditions.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_%28psychology%29

 

If YOU want to know what the real YOU thinks and believes go back to everything or every opinion you wrote about and replace You with I or them or they with me or myself. Doesnt work totally across the board but helps to bring the conversation back to the essence of who you think you are and what you believe is true about yourself and other and not who others are. It's a nice tool of self reflection to use now and then.

[ShaktiMama]

I guess it's a huge world I have because it describes the majority of a populace.

 

no it doesn't describe the majority of a populace. it describes your view of how you think other people think. That's an opinion, not a fact.

[ShaktiMama]

So he belives ALL women are wrong and men are right?

 

I don't know where you got that from. If anything he might've thought he himself was right, while another was wrong. if this is the case and you think he's not being open minded, well then what about the others who oppose the views: isn't it the same thing going on there?

I never said that I believe that about him.

Only he is qualified to say what he believes. This is an internet forum. One can't get any closer to the fantasies of delusional, ego centric self indulgent fantasies than right here.

 

why do you even care what others think, including him?

[ShaktiMama]

Alright, nvm then ShaktiMama. I understand what you're saying: their world is your world because yuo make it yours also. Experience is in your own reality. Etc.

 

nope, that is not what I am saying but your subconscious believes that is what I am saying but really has no understanding of what I am talking about.

 

Your subconscious is vested in keeping these belief systems going because it is the only way to survive. Your subconscious beliefs are finally in place by the time you are three or four. Most and I mean a whole heck of a lot because I work with them all the time to shift this paradigm...most people let their minds and life be run by 3 year old who uses adult words to justify it's reasoning to exist to other adult 3 year olds.

Edited May 10, 2011 by ShaktiMama

[Sloppy Zhang]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lies,_damned_lies,_and_statistics

 

Your link cuts off and just goes to "lies", for me anyway. Here's the link again for the people too lazy to get it themselves (not meant as a criticism- it happens to the best of us)

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lies,_damned_lies,_and_statistics

[Enishi]

Generalizations are ultimately abstract descriptions that may not be true on an individual level. They can however describe general trends among groups.

 

In my own case, I feel nervous approaching or interacting with women outside of "socially accepted" venues for meeting women in the US like bars or clubs as I do not want to be accused of sexual harassment/rape. This limits me to either clubs/bars or meeting women through mutual friends.

 

The claim that "nice guys finish last" does hold water if you are talking about the generalized experiences of young men in regards to many 18-30 year old women who frequent clubs and bars. It may be this environment that Non is thinking of in many of his posts. Most of the women who show strong interest in me in those environments are usually 30+ and have gained a lot of weight or have baggage from past failed relationships. Basically, those I don't feel all that attracted to. Honestly speaking, the thought of "settling" for them incenses me as those same women probably rejected guys like me back when they were younger and had more options.

 

Most of my positive experiences that belied the above description came from dating outside the US or meeting women through mutual friends online.

Edited May 10, 2011 by Enishi

[Sloppy Zhang]

In my own case, I feel nervous approaching or interacting with women outside of "socially accepted" venues for meeting women in the US like bars or clubs as I do not want to be accused of sexual harassment/rape. This limits me to either clubs/bars or meeting women through mutual friends.

 

You've got a lot more option that just bars or clubs mate.

 

Unless you're job environment has a thing about workplace romances that are pretty strictly enforced, if you see a girl, hey, go for it. You should find out pretty quick if she's all right talking to you or not.

 

The claim that "nice guys finish last" does hold water if you are talking about the generalized experiences of young men in regards to many 18-30 year old women who frequent clubs and bars. It may be this environment that Non is thinking of in many of his posts.

 

But see that area is very specific- people hanging out in bars or clubs aren't necessarily out looking for a romance partner, it's more about enjoying a night on the town. Guys and girls you meet generally help the party atmosphere, and if they don't, move on.

 

That's much different than if you start chatting up a girl in a grocery store, at the beach, at work, at the coffee shop, a crowded bus, the airport terminal, etc etc etc.

 

Most of the women who show strong interest in me in those environments are usually 30+ and have gained a lot of weight or have baggage from past failed relationships.

 

There are some hot hot hot, fun fun fun 30+ women out there. Baggage or no. Just sayin'

 

Basically, those I don't feel all that attracted to.

 

Well I mentioned in another thread that it's easier to get along with these types as well because you haven't psyched yourself out of the game before it has even started. You aren't afraid of making mistakes, you aren't stammering out questions. You are easygoing and you are being yourself. So people you aren't necessarily attracted to get attracted to you, while you can't figure out why you can never manage to say the right thing to the women you are attracted to.

 

Most of my positive experiences that belied the above description came from dating outside the US or meeting women through mutual friends online.

 

Something about the US must be seriously messed up, because every attractive foreign chick I've met has been so nice and chill, and totally okay with things that their equivalently hot US counterparts would never be okay with in a million years

 

In high school, there was this super hot exchange student from Sweden, and she was friends with EVERYBODY. Like, she'd walk up to the nerds playing their gameboy and start talking to them about it And then she was like, "wow, all the American guys are so nice!" I was like "it's because you're hot and non-judgmental!" And she was like "you're crazy!"

Edited May 10, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[Enishi]

You've got a lot more option that just bars or clubs mate.

 

Unless you're job environment has a thing about workplace romances that are pretty strictly enforced, if you see a girl, hey, go for it. You should find out pretty quick if she's all right talking to you or not.

 

That's much different than if you start chatting up a girl in a grocery store, at the beach, at work, at the coffee shop, a crowded bus, the airport terminal, etc etc etc.

 

Well I mentioned in another thread that it's easier to get along with these types as well because you haven't psyched yourself out of the game before it has even started. You aren't afraid of making mistakes, you aren't stammering out questions. You are easygoing and you are being yourself. So people you aren't necessarily attracted to get attracted to you, while you can't figure out why you can never manage to say the right thing to the women you are attracted to.

 

Something about the US must be seriously messed up, because every attractive foreign chick I've met has been so nice and chill, and totally okay with things that their equivalently hot US counterparts would never be okay with in a million years

 

In high school, there was this super hot exchange student from Sweden, and she was friends with EVERYBODY. Like, she'd walk up to the nerds playing their gameboy and start talking to them about it And then she was like, "wow, all the American guys are so nice!" I was like "it's because you're hot and non-judgmental!" And she was like "you're crazy!"

 

I work at a large organization that is quite PC. I've seen people get fired before for trying to flirt with a woman who wasn't attracted to them.

 

At one point I merely leaned around the side of a female coworker to type something into a computer and she misinterpreted it based on her own subjective perceptions and accused me of harassment. Fortunately my manager let it go when I explained things, but it could have been much worse. Minus any accusations, even the relationship drama I have seen play out is not something I want any part of. Therefore, my workplace is a no go.

 

I agree about foreign girls being laid back.

 

I suppose it depends on the area of the US one is in (some areas like Seattle are reportedly quite anti-social while others are more happy go lucky) but certain areas are pretty much a no go IMO. One of these is university environments (thank god I've finally graduated).

 

The Chances of Holding Your Son Responsible for a Rape He Didn’t Commit Have Just Skyrocketed

 

According to the letter, from now on, to be in compliance with Title IX, all disciplinary proceedings involving claims of sexual harassment (which includes claims of rape and sexual assault) ”must use a preponderance of the evidence standard,” as opposed to the “clear and convincing evidence” standard (evidence of a high probability that the offense occurred) currently used by many schools. Vice President Joe Biden, chief architect of VAWA, unveiled the new procedures earlier this month.

 

What this means is that a male accused of sexual assault may be expelled from college, and his freedom to go on to graduate school and obtain decent employment may be curtailed and even destroyed, even if there is only a very slight probability that he committed the assault. The school can have a reasonable doubt about whether he did it, and the evidence need not even show that there is a strong likelihood of it. If the disciplinary hearing board finds that the complainant’s story of the alleged incident is more credible than the accused’s, even by a 50.0001 to 49.9999 percent margin, he packs his bags and is banned from the school forever. Forget law school, forget medical school, forget graduate school of any kind. And good luck explaining that to prospective employers. His life has been effectively destroyed.

Edited May 10, 2011 by Enishi