Eye contact & the Web of awareness

[manitou]

Once in a while a thought occurs to me.

 

That the one thing that all living beings have in common is the little black dot in the middle of our eyes.

 

Everything else can be different. The little black dot remains the same.

 

My little black dot seeks out your little black dot when we meet. When a dog barks at me, he doesn't look at my knees, he looks at my little black dot and barks. A carpenter bee came up to me yesterday and hovered a foot in front of me - looking right into the little black dot of my eyes with the tiny black dots of his. We had a moment of communication.

 

If there were a string tied between the eyes of people, animals, insects who were all looking at each other at the same time, what an incredible web this would weave!

 

In some way, could this be at the very basis of consciousness? The unseen structure of person to person, animal to animal, etc - the exchanging of Intent, Fear, Love, Hate, Terror - all done before words are even spoken?

 

Any off-the-wall ideas about this?

[doc benway]

[Marblehead]

That reminded me of this:

 

Chuang Tzu, Chapter 6, The Great Supreme, Lin Yutang

 

"A man feels a pleasurable sensation before he smiles, and smiles before he thinks how he ought to smile. Resign yourself to the sequence of things, forgetting the changes of life, and you shall enter into the pure, the divine, the One."

 

I think I always generate a smile when I make eye contact.

[doc benway]

That reminded me of this:

 

Chuang Tzu, Chapter 6, The Great Supreme, Lin Yutang

 

"A man feels a pleasurable sensation before he smiles, and smiles before he thinks how he ought to smile. Resign yourself to the sequence of things, forgetting the changes of life, and you shall enter into the pure, the divine, the One."

 

I think I always generate a smile when I make eye contact.

It is not automatic for me to smile upon eye contact but it's something I've worked on for a while and it's a lot easier now. It allows you to see how deeply guarded some of us can be.

[deci belle]

Once in a while a thought occurs to me.

 

That the one thing that all living beings have in common is the little black dot in the middle of our eyes.

 

Everything else can be different. The little black dot remains the same.

 

My little black dot seeks out your little black dot when we meet. When a dog barks at me, he doesn't look at my knees, he looks at my little black dot and barks. A carpenter bee came up to me yesterday and hovered a foot in front of me - looking right into the little black dot of my eyes with the tiny black dots of his. We had a moment of communication.

 

If there were a string tied between the eyes of people, animals, insects who were all looking at each other at the same time, what an incredible web this would weave!

 

In some way, could this be at the very basis of consciousness? The unseen structure of person to person, animal to animal, etc - the exchanging of Intent, Fear, Love, Hate, Terror - all done before words are even spoken?

 

Any off-the-wall ideas about this?

 

In some way, could this be at the very basis of consciousness?

Wonderful insight, manitou! Awareness itself is consciousness. The living awareness is used sensually. So not in sense, but by our living awareness is consciousness itself recognized, yes!

 

Just not creating illusion out of this very same living awareness employed in sense perception is itself enlightened perception. Just directly knowing perceiving, without entertaining illusions.

 

We are light, and we are indeed connected. The idea of separation is an illusion, isn't it!❤

[Otis]

Manitou, thanks for making this topic.

 

Just a couple of years ago, I started waking up to all the stories that I had, which kept me from making eye contact.

 

One story was: violence was going to happen, because I had made eye contact with someone. That's the story I most hear from others, when they talk about their own reluctance to make eye contact, but the story doesn't match my experience, since I started consciously connecting eyes with others. I don't think I've ever had anyone treat my eye contact as a real threat or challenge, and usually the response is the opposite: a smile. At worst, the other person feels they have to look away (but that's not my problem).

 

Other stories I have still hold more influence over me.

"She's going to think I'm a creep."

"He's going to think I'm gay."

Or just this vague I'm not supposed to. Or maybe: I'm giving them my power.

 

Of course, I give away my power most, when I'm not able to meet others eyes. Looking at someone else is the best way to tell what they're up to, so the one who feels forced to look away, is at a disadvantage.

 

I think the part that most rankles me is the "forced to" part. Looking away is such an automatic response, that I really have to stay vigilant to the habit.

 

One thing is for sure: the world has gotten a lot friendlier, since I started becoming conscious about meeting others' eyes.

[Vajrahridaya]

Yes! We are all connected and the fact that everything is connected is the basis for the arising of individual consciousness'. It is the particular way the elements combine which grants the arising of consciousness in us. Through awareness of the inter-dependent nature of your consciousness, you are self liberated.

[Marblehead]

It allows you to see how deeply guarded some of us can be.

 

Hehehe. Yep. I encounter people all the time when I go out into the world who absolutely refuse to make eye contact. (Are they being guarded or are they lost in space?)

[Marblehead]

"He's going to think I'm gay."

 

Hehehe. Yeah, that used to be me many years ago. We men! Ain't we something?

 

After breaking from that I had to learn that it wasn't bad to give a man a hug.

 

Then there was the impossibility of saying "I love you." to another man.

 

A hard-butt Marine friend of mine brought realization into my mind on that one the first time he said to me "Luv Ya!"

 

I'm not all the way there yet but I think I am doing pretty good considering how my mind was formed like putty by others when I was young.

[Marblehead]

Yes! We are all connected and the fact that everything is connected is the basis for the arising of individual consciousness'. It is the particular way the elements combine which grants the arising of consciousness in us. Through awareness of the inter-dependent nature of your consciousness, you are self liberated.

 

Good to see you back VJ.

 

What? "All is One."

 

Be careful with your consciousness though. Hehehe.

[manitou]

So glad you're here, Veejay - you were missed...

 

The odd thing about the eye contact thing, I've noticed, is that NOT making it indiscriminately with everyone I pass in the market seems to keep me more intact in some intangible way. Almost like it's less tiring, or there's more of myself left for myself. This is impossible to put into words. Others in the dog food aisle may perceive me as 'unfriendly' (I am anything but) because I don't automatically connect with their eyes and smile. I don't go out of my way to avoid strangers' eyes, sometimes I do connect.

 

But I do think there is a sense of 'looking into the eyes of others for approval'; almost like they're a mirror! Maybe that's it! Maybe we're primping in the eyes of the other to assure ourselves that 1) we're still here, and 2) we're pretty hot stuff.

 

There is definitely a relationship between covering up one's mirrors and performing the exercise of not seeking out eye contact with strangers. I've tried this simultaneously (covered the mirror for a week and avoided my reflection) along with the eye contact thing. I could definitely sense a shift into a state of 'wholeness' that was more fragmented previously.

 

Seems to me that the most profound things in this world are the most simple.

 

Don Juan Mateus would tell Castaneda about the web of consciousness that surrounds everything. Maybe eye contact has a lot to do with that.

[Marblehead]

Maybe eye contact has a lot to do with that.

 

Yes, that and Chi.

[manitou]

 

I'm not all the way there yet but I think I am doing pretty good considering how my mind was formed like putty by others when I was young.

 

Boy, isn't that the truth? It's been like that since the beginning, apparently....

[Otis]

The odd thing about the eye contact thing, I've noticed, is that NOT making it indiscriminately with everyone I pass in the market seems to keep me more intact in some intangible way. Almost like it's less tiring, or there's more of myself left for myself. This is impossible to put into words. Others in the dog food aisle may perceive me as 'unfriendly' (I am anything but) because I don't automatically connect with their eyes and smile. I don't go out of my way to avoid strangers' eyes, sometimes I do connect.

 

But I do think there is a sense of 'looking into the eyes of others for approval'; almost like they're a mirror! Maybe that's it! Maybe we're primping in the eyes of the other to assure ourselves that 1) we're still here, and 2) we're pretty hot stuff.

Right now, I am drawn to face what I previously avoided. This includes not only meeting others eyes, but also looking in the mirror, which I was (unconsciously) phobic about, for the first 40 years of my life.

 

In particular, I am drawn to look, while surrendering any story that comes up. So when I hear in my head: "they're going to think I'm looking for approval", I realize it's just my story, and nothing that exists in life. In fact, if I see something on their face which matches my inner judge's thought, it is very likely just my projection, because of my fear of their judgment.

 

It is tiring, to look, when my habit is pulling me away from looking. It's tiring at first, at least. But that is because the habit is so desperate to try to get me to look away. With practice, meeting others' eyes has shifted from being something new and weird, to being a natural place, from which I am able to smile at others, without judging myself or them. It's uplifting, rather than draining. That's a good sign of freedom, for me.

[Otis]

Hehehe. Yeah, that used to be me many years ago. We men! Ain't we something?

 

After breaking from that I had to learn that it wasn't bad to give a man a hug.

 

Then there was the impossibility of saying "I love you." to another man.

 

A hard-butt Marine friend of mine brought realization into my mind on that one the first time he said to me "Luv Ya!"

 

I'm not all the way there yet but I think I am doing pretty good considering how my mind was formed like putty by others when I was young.

Yeah, this deserves its own thread. The whole "I'm straight, don't get confused" worry is a deep-seated one, at least in me. I learned awfully young that the single worst insult you could get, was to be called a faggot. That is still, among grown men, the easiest way to start a fight.

 

So it's no surprise that this story still wields power over small motor tasks, like eye contact. It's so automatic, that it's easy to tell myself that it's the right choice, that I'm avoiding trouble.

 

That's part of why I did the whole male prostitute on Rodeo Drive prank, to baptize myself by fire. If I present myself in drag, acting as effeminate as possible, then I have nothing to avoid. I have no "oh no, they might think that...", because of course they think that. So there's nothing left, but to make peace with my projection of their thoughts.

[Vajrahridaya]

So glad you're here, Veejay - you were missed...

 

The odd thing about the eye contact thing, I've noticed, is that NOT making it indiscriminately with everyone I pass in the market seems to keep me more intact in some intangible way. Almost like it's less tiring, or there's more of myself left for myself. This is impossible to put into words. Others in the dog food aisle may perceive me as 'unfriendly' (I am anything but) because I don't automatically connect with their eyes and smile. I don't go out of my way to avoid strangers' eyes, sometimes I do connect.

 

 

Thanks Manitou,

 

I've experienced the very same contemplation in fact. For me, it all depends upon where I'm at internally in any given time, but your insights concerning mirrors and approval all ring quite true in my own contemplation of the very same above quoted consideration.

[Vajrahridaya]

Good to see you back VJ.

 

What? "All is One."

 

Be careful with your consciousness though. Hehehe.

 

LOL! Connected, not one. Neither one, nor many.

 

 

Yes, I do need to be careful with my consciousness. Thanks for the reminder.