What does it matter in the end?

[Aaron]

I want to start by saying that I am not looking for pity. Why would I say this, well simply because I am in perhaps the most desperate financial situation I've been in since childhood. It is entirely likely that within the next two weeks I will be evicted from my home and I will have no place to go. As a child my family was homeless more times than I can count, but as a child, so long as you have food and are kept reasonably comfortable, you're only minimally aware of what's really going on. I am fully aware of what is going on now and it is a bit unsettling.

 

In the light of this my meditation has suffered greatly. Perhaps its a sign of my own inherent weakness and resolve, that in this crisis I lack the ability to let go of these things. I've spent the last few weeks reading books on Zen mostly and I've been attempting to practice it formally, even though I've been practicing a form of Zazen for decades informally. Normally meditation releases these stresses and allows me a degree of peace, but I guess everyone hits a block.

 

My current situation has gotten me to the point where I am wondering what does all of it really mean? If life is suffering, can there really be an end to suffering? If you do your best to succeed and can still fail, where is the certainty in it all? Even knowing and honestly believing that I am not simply me, but more than that, the entirety of being and non-being, does not seem to matter if knowing this does not change the effects my actions will have on me and my family.

 

Luckily my family is just me, my brother and two cats. I worry most about the cats. I don't want to take them to a shelter, because I'm afraid they'll put them to sleep. I've started to contact friends to see if anyone can take them, but so far no one has agreed. It's very tough on me. I don't want to see them suffer and I know they will. They've been with me since they were kittens and haven't known any other place than our home.

 

Really, what does it matter? I keep looking at my life, all the suffering that I've experienced, and it has been more than any man should have to endure, yet I've gotten past it and grown from it, I thought into a strong and sufficient man, but now I'm not so sure.

 

I don't really know where I am going with this except to say that I am finally reaching that dark night of the soul. I am beginning to question those things I've held to be true, to wonder if there is any real purpose or greater meaning to it all and if there is, then why can't I see it as clearly now as I did a month ago? If my faith is shaken by so little, what faith did I really have in the first place?

 

Anyways, sorry for the prattling, but this is a very serious question. If anyone has a real answer, not some metaphysical bullshit, I'd be happy to hear it.

 

Aaron

 

edit- I understand fully that this may seem an off-topic post, if so please feel free to move it.

Edited May 29, 2011 by Twinner

[Aetherous]

That sucks! Of course meditation will be off, and you'll be unable to let go. It's because during times like this you're supposed to be hanging on, and clawing your way back up out of this hole!

 

If I were in Florida I'd lend some space to a fellow bum!

 

Best wishes for you in getting more income.

[Sloppy Zhang]

In the end.... it probably doesn't.

 

Focus on life for a bit. If you're unemployed, do whatever you can. If there is something that you've been interested in, now could be the time to do it.

 

You could also try volunteer organizations- if you aren't getting money anyway, at least you can make some connections.

 

I don't know much about your area, but I know that there are organizations that work with people who are in trouble getting education and getting a job. I don't know your education background, but I know you've got access to a computer and seem relatively intelligent- so you're better off than most.

 

Getting a piece shit job and living in a broom closet is better than being homeless.

 

 

I don't want to come off as being a dick, or I don't want to seem like I'm rubbing salt in the wound. But in my opinion, a spiritual philosophy does not take the burden of work off of your shoulders. Going through troubles may be a test of your spirituality, but that doesn't mean you just have to wait around for it to get better. You have to MAKE it better.

 

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. But I think the best thing for you to do is to get your life in balance- which includes your career.

 

Now is the time to start calling in the favors. Shaking trees. Getting out. Meeting people. You said you had a small family- well time to call in friends, acquaintances, old bosses, etc. It's also a good time to think about why it's never a good idea to burn bridges when you leave, and why it's best to be nice to everyone- because you never know who could help you if you didn't screw them over in the past.

 

Best of luck. Make it happen.

[Otis]

Hi Aaron,

 

I don't have advice for you, only sympathy. I've had a harder time financially this year, than in the recent past, and it's shook up my confidence, as well.

 

All I can say is: you will be even greater, because of this. You are already seeing more of yourself, that only shows up during crisis. That's good, because there's no way to practice being in crisis, except by going through crisis. So every step in front of you, as awkward and humiliating as it may sometimes feel, is there to serve you on your path. The awkwardness and humiliation are great teachers, as is the sense of helplessness.

 

None of it is fun, and I'm sorry that you have to experience it, but I know you will do great, and you will grow from this.

 

Best of luck along (this portion of) the path!

 

-otis

[CatOfTheWoods]

Your experience sounds extremely similar to one I had about a month ago. Please listen to my story, I really think it will help you. Mine happened while I was tripping shrooms. I had been studying the Tao a lot in the preceding days. I found myself alone in my apartment, and I laid down on my bed. I had a sensation of complete peace. It was also a sensation of complete hopelessness. I felt like I had died. I questioned whether I had passed into the afterlife, as I saw all of the circle of life revolving around me. I saw just how tiny of a piece of existence I am. This is why I relate to the way you talk about the inevitability of suffering. I said to myself, if death will always follow life, then why bother living? After I came down from the effects, I was out of it for two weeks. My will to live with vigor had dwindled. Then one day, I ate two pot brownies that were very strong. I passed into a deep sleep and neglected to check on my three pet rats. When I woke up, one of them was dying. She may have poisoned herself on something I left out, but to this day I still don't know the cause of her death. I ran to the car with my girlfriend. I got in and carried my little rattie on my lap, tears dropping from my eyes. I saw she wanted to live, but was unable. Before we could make it to the vet, she died on my lap while I stroked her fur. I pulled over to the side of the road, as we happened to be passing a forest park in the middle of the city. It was a rainy spring day, and the water and the green life budding made me feel like I was as much in nature as I ever had been. I dug a hole in the dirt, and buried her under a tombstone, topped with a prayer and flower. Returning home, I pulled over in a supermarket parking lot and again the tears slowly and silently dripped down my face...I could not help staring into space. Something in me had changed. I told my girlfriend that I had changed my mind, and that I wanted to live more strongly than I ever had before. If this tiny rat was struggling to keep her last breaths and steps in my lap after being poisoned by my neglect, how could I not try at least as hard as her to live? I was shocked at how special this little life felt to me, and that I could only recognize it fully at her death. This is when I realized that although death is inevitable, the purposeful suffering I had induced on myself with my drugs was not. On that day I vowed to stoke the fire of my life force, not snuff it. I quit my 3 year addiction because I had finally learned my lesson: Conscious life is an amazing gift in a seemingly mechanical universe. If you cherish it in every moment you have it, you will not suffer, but you will certainly die. I believe this is the greater meaning you are looking for. It is a beautiful thing that you also have been moved by a pet you love, and not wanting it to lose it's life prematurely. I love animals. I paid for this site just to respond to you.

Edited May 29, 2011 by CatOfTheWoods

[effilang]

In my experience, suffering is a form of education or enlightenment for the soul on it's course to spiritual maturity which prepares the mind for realization.

 

Suffering is the reason we stop for a moment and ask "why" and is this real, is there more... "why?". If life was filled with only good things, we would never stop to ask "why". Why what? Why is life so good, why am i so rich? why do i get everything i want? - I doubt it. No. Suffering is the catalyst.

 

When everything is going great and it's rainbows and flowers, nobody asks asks "why am i deserving so much good", "why is my car so nice", 'why are my friends so great", 'why is my wife so hot". "why is my salary so high". It's all good then. But the moment something bad happens, it's... "why me", "how did i deserve this" etc.

 

We need to learn to treat the BAD the same way we treat the GOOD. It is our karma.

 

Suffering is the prerequisite to wisdom and wisdom to spiritual growth.

 

If you are experiencing suffering it is your karma and you have been blessed by this. You have to look at the big picture. You are being tempered by the Tao to provide you with the mind needed to begin your realization, the mind that can look past the material and into the heavens.

 

There is always a way out of trouble, although often obscure to us.

You can make it. Try to make it. That is the most important thing.

 

The worst that can happen is that you die trying, but that is a most honorable passing and you will surely be rewarded for your perseverance in your next life.

 

From my personal insights into the universe during my meditations, i can tell you that LIFE and LIVING has no purpose at all, it is simply infinite infinity... infinitely. Everything is connected and you exist everywhere in all your potential and possibility right now. All of you, everywhere in time and space exists now.

 

Infinite variations of you exist in infinite realities in an unawakened state, each experiencing their own reality independently.

We are stuck in this endless loop and enlightenment is the only way to understand that reality is false and only a formulation of personal experience.

 

So if i had to make a hierarchy id say.

 

NOTHING/POINTLESS/VOID >> ENLIGHTENMENT >> REGULAR LIFE

 

So if you really want something to pin on as a goal in life, it should be attaining enlightenment. If there is a purpose to regular life, it is... enlightenment.

 

Do what you can to survive, life is very hard and it is full of suffering. You are not alone.

Be honorable, be loving, be compassionate and keep trying no matter what.

Death is not an escape just a rest button to start the suffering all over again, so you have to keep trying no matter what until your last breath like that rat.

Edited May 29, 2011 by effilang

[neiye]

Hi Twinner,

 

I would be happy to avoid metaphysical BS. But your situation has its own peculiarity and I (we) need to look into it accordingly. A lot of people are on the verge of being homeless now but your situation is not the same as another. If a meaning can be found in it, it won't be valid for someone else in a similar situation.

To be of any help, one has to know much more about the details of your life and situation; otherwise, it will end in generalizations and metaphysical BS.

 

Take care,

neiye

[suninmyeyes]

Twinner ,my heart goes to you.

The one thing I could suggest in most friendly and caring manner and hope it comes out right,is be clever and learn your lesson ,look what situation is created and do something about it ,either now or in the near future.Take it as a form of active meditation(that is what I find best way of doing things),concentrate and reach your goal keeping in mind getting a job and a place to live.This stuff is important.

The awarness has to be brought down to physical if person wants to have fulffiling life- either you totally give up material(I mean tottaly )or you start being serious and nourish that aspect of your life.

Suffering is natures alert that something needs adressing.

Change your chilhood pattern of being poor,reconstruct it,you can do it.At some point on the path we have to dig dip through all the nastiness and dirt.

I should know all this as I have done it myself and had a similar issue as a main obstacle ,but unfortunatley didnt see as something that needs serious adressing for a long time.

Dont worry about your faith and all this,you are fine just like this at every given moment whatever the change ,exactly how you are and are perfect part of all there is.

[Marblehead]

Hi Aaron,

 

Much as been said.

 

I have nothing to add except, "Do what needs be done."

 

You have read enough of my posts to understand what I am saying.

 

My Wishes for the Best to you and yours.

[strawdog65]

I want to start by saying that I am not looking for pity. Why would I say this, well simply because I am in perhaps the most desperate financial situation I've been in since childhood. It is entirely likely that within the next two weeks I will be evicted from my home and I will have no place to go. As a child my family was homeless more times than I can count, but as a child, so long as you have food and are kept reasonably comfortable, you're only minimally aware of what's really going on. I am fully aware of what is going on now and it is a bit unsettling.

 

In the light of this my meditation has suffered greatly. Perhaps its a sign of my own inherent weakness and resolve, that in this crisis I lack the ability to let go of these things. I've spent the last few weeks reading books on Zen mostly and I've been attempting to practice it formally, even though I've been practicing a form of Zazen for decades informally. Normally meditation releases these stresses and allows me a degree of peace, but I guess everyone hits a block.

 

My current situation has gotten me to the point where I am wondering what does all of it really mean? If life is suffering, can there really be an end to suffering? If you do your best to succeed and can still fail, where is the certainty in it all? Even knowing and honestly believing that I am not simply me, but more than that, the entirety of being and non-being, does not seem to matter if knowing this does not change the effects my actions will have on me and my family.

 

Luckily my family is just me, my brother and two cats. I worry most about the cats. I don't want to take them to a shelter, because I'm afraid they'll put them to sleep. I've started to contact friends to see if anyone can take them, but so far no one has agreed. It's very tough on me. I don't want to see them suffer and I know they will. They've been with me since they were kittens and haven't known any other place than our home.

 

Really, what does it matter? I keep looking at my life, all the suffering that I've experienced, and it has been more than any man should have to endure, yet I've gotten past it and grown from it, I thought into a strong and sufficient man, but now I'm not so sure.

 

I don't really know where I am going with this except to say that I am finally reaching that dark night of the soul. I am beginning to question those things I've held to be true, to wonder if there is any real purpose or greater meaning to it all and if there is, then why can't I see it as clearly now as I did a month ago? If my faith is shaken by so little, what faith did I really have in the first place?

 

Anyways, sorry for the prattling, but this is a very serious question. If anyone has a real answer, not some metaphysical bullshit, I'd be happy to hear it.

 

Aaron

 

edit- I understand fully that this may seem an off-topic post, if so please feel free to move it.

 

Arron,

 

Our lives matter, regardless of where we are, or how dire the circumstances are.

 

You, your brother, and the cats will make it through this transition.

 

I won't go into my own story too deeply, but I too have been homeless and

felt the utter despair of an uncertain future that feels hostile and pointless.

The questioning is a good thing. The uncertainty is frightening. The despair

is unavoidable.

When I became homeless, I felt those same things.

 

What calmed me and brought solace to my mind was the bitter realism of thinking,

Each day, each moment is special and unique to me, and that as long as I am alive and

coherent in this world... I will go on. I will make every effort to enjoy the smallest things brought into my life, and see them for the treasures they truly are. To appreciate what before I took for granted, to wake up every day with the hope that with this new day, life will show me a new direction, and I will not hold onto my past, but move forward and welcome the changes.

 

Many tear filled nights I spent thinking, while sleeping in my truck, parking wherever I could, or if I could afford it, going to the nearest campground for $6 a night. Thinking those same thoughts you have intimated to us... What is the point of this life?

What good is living and working and striving to feel like a bug under someones shoe?

Attainment of all the things we think are important, when they only thing we have that we can take with us wherever we go... is our own body. That's it.

 

Our lives matter because of the joy we bring to other people's lives.

We matter because of the happiness we encourage in others, and in so doing...

we ourselves find happiness as well.

 

Aaron... YOU will make it through whatever life throws at you.

Life will go forward, you will change, all this is necessary because

change is unavoidable. All that you can control is how you react to

the situation, and the person you will become because of it.

 

I wish you the best... you are not alone, and never will be.

Hang in there the best you are able, but make it through just the same.

Every day will bring you closer to a better life.

 

Steve

[三江源]

On a practical note.

 

1. Pray that you keep your home and persist in seeing yourself staying happily there with your cats and brother.

 

2. know that your local cat protection league (or equivalent) will support anyone who needs foster care for their cats, for whatever reason. Cat lovers unite.

 

For myself what I find matters, is love. To keep the heart alive and well keeps the spirit and soul active. To me, meaninglessness stems from feeling isolated and without anyone or thing to love. The point is to love each other and grow in light, whatever vicissitudes we experience. Love the trees, if all other love seems impossible in any given moment.

 

Keep heart open and fill it with radiant light.

 

xxxxxxxx

[neiye]

I completely second that

 

On a practical note.

 

1. Pray that you keep your home and persist in seeing yourself staying happily there with your cats and brother.

 

2. know that your local cat protection league (or equivalent) will support anyone who needs foster care for their cats, for whatever reason. Cat lovers unite.

 

For myself what I find matters, is love. To keep the heart alive and well keeps the spirit and soul active. To me, meaninglessness stems from feeling isolated and without anyone or thing to love. The point is to love each other and grow in light, whatever vicissitudes we experience. Love the trees, if all other love seems impossible in any given moment.

 

Keep heart open and fill it with radiant light.

 

xxxxxxxx

[neiye]

Yes!!

 

Marblehead + cat = 100% practical/0%MetaphysicalBS

 

You may also see if this resonates with you:My link

 

if yes, I think you can receive help here free of charge:My link

 

Take care

 

edited for spelling

 

"Do what needs be done."

Edited May 29, 2011 by neiye

[doc benway]

Hi Aaron,

I'm very sorry to hear about your pain and struggle.

Ultimately, I don't think it matters in the end to the universe but I do think it matters to those in your life who know you and care about you. Your brother, your cats, your internet friends, and there are probably others who care more than you realize.

 

I don't know you at all so this advice could be far off the mark but something occurs to me that could potentially be helpful.

Sometimes we get too wrapped up in our heads and thoughts. Whether its hours on a forum or reading or studying or just thinking or whatever. And our life in the world can suffer as a result. Sometimes its important to "get of you our heads and into our lives!"

Step away from the computer, put down the book, turn off the TV, and live. Talk to people who might be able to help, put more time into work or finding work. Put more time into developing personal relationships and so on.

 

Again - I don't know if this applies to you but perhaps it could be of some value. It's something I need to be mindful of in my own life.

 

Best wishes for some peace and stability in your life.

[doc benway]

Arron,

 

Our lives matter, regardless of where we are, or how dire the circumstances are.

 

You, your brother, and the cats will make it through this transition.

 

I won't go into my own story too deeply, but I too have been homeless and

felt the utter despair of an uncertain future that feels hostile and pointless.

The questioning is a good thing. The uncertainty is frightening. The despair

is unavoidable.

When I became homeless, I felt those same things.

 

What calmed me and brought solace to my mind was the bitter realism of thinking,

Each day, each moment is special and unique to me, and that as long as I am alive and

coherent in this world... I will go on. I will make every effort to enjoy the smallest things brought into my life, and see them for the treasures they truly are. To appreciate what before I took for granted, to wake up every day with the hope that with this new day, life will show me a new direction, and I will not hold onto my past, but move forward and welcome the changes.

 

Many tear filled nights I spent thinking, while sleeping in my truck, parking wherever I could, or if I could afford it, going to the nearest campground for $6 a night. Thinking those same thoughts you have intimated to us... What is the point of this life?

What good is living and working and striving to feel like a bug under someones shoe?

Attainment of all the things we think are important, when they only thing we have that we can take with us wherever we go... is our own body. That's it.

 

Our lives matter because of the joy we bring to other people's lives.

We matter because of the happiness we encourage in others, and in so doing...

we ourselves find happiness as well.

 

Aaron... YOU will make it through whatever life throws at you.

Life will go forward, you will change, all this is necessary because

change is unavoidable. All that you can control is how you react to

the situation, and the person you will become because of it.

 

I wish you the best... you are not alone, and never will be.

Hang in there the best you are able, but make it through just the same.

Every day will bring you closer to a better life.

 

Steve

That was beautiful Steve.

[gendao]

*WARNING: METAPHYSICAL BS AHEAD*

 

Why are you homeless?

 

Because you chose to leave home.

 

Why did you choose to leave home?

 

Perhaps you felt it was abusive and associated the 2.

 

But in doing so you threw the baby out with the bathwater.

 

When they are not necessarily 1 & the same.

 

You escaped, and running away never solves the root problem.

 

What you have to do now is GO BACK & resolve, heal and reintegrate the 2.

 

You must heal the wounds and make it a happy home again.

 

Then, you can enjoy the home for what it is supposed to be - a safe shelter & refuge.

 

Right now, you are like a snail who cast off its shell because there was a shard in it. And instead of just removing the shard, you removed the entire shell. Yet still did not remove the shard, which you still carry in you! Ouch!

Edited May 29, 2011 by vortex

[mYTHmAKER]

It matters in the beginning, the middle, and in the end.

Wishing you eternal spring.

[Aaron]

Your experience sounds extremely similar to one I had about a month ago. Please listen to my story, I really think it will help you. Mine happened while I was tripping shrooms. I had been studying the Tao a lot in the preceding days. I found myself alone in my apartment, and I laid down on my bed. I had a sensation of complete peace. It was also a sensation of complete hopelessness. I felt like I had died. I questioned whether I had passed into the afterlife, as I saw all of the circle of life revolving around me. I saw just how tiny of a piece of existence I am. This is why I relate to the way you talk about the inevitability of suffering. I said to myself, if death will always follow life, then why bother living? After I came down from the effects, I was out of it for two weeks. My will to live with vigor had dwindled. Then one day, I ate two pot brownies that were very strong. I passed into a deep sleep and neglected to check on my three pet rats. When I woke up, one of them was dying. She may have poisoned herself on something I left out, but to this day I still don't know the cause of her death. I ran to the car with my girlfriend. I got in and carried my little rattie on my lap, tears dropping from my eyes. I saw she wanted to live, but was unable. Before we could make it to the vet, she died on my lap while I stroked her fur. I pulled over to the side of the road, as we happened to be passing a forest park in the middle of the city. It was a rainy spring day, and the water and the green life budding made me feel like I was as much in nature as I ever had been. I dug a hole in the dirt, and buried her under a tombstone, topped with a prayer and flower. Returning home, I pulled over in a supermarket parking lot and again the tears slowly and silently dripped down my face...I could not help staring into space. Something in me had changed. I told my girlfriend that I had changed my mind, and that I wanted to live more strongly than I ever had before. If this tiny rat was struggling to keep her last breaths and steps in my lap after being poisoned by my neglect, how could I not try at least as hard as her to live? I was shocked at how special this little life felt to me, and that I could only recognize it fully at her death. This is when I realized that although death is inevitable, the purposeful suffering I had induced on myself with my drugs was not. On that day I vowed to stoke the fire of my life force, not snuff it. I quit my 3 year addiction because I had finally learned my lesson: Conscious life is an amazing gift in a seemingly mechanical universe. If you cherish it in every moment you have it, you will not suffer, but you will certainly die. I believe this is the greater meaning you are looking for. It is a beautiful thing that you also have been moved by a pet you love, and not wanting it to lose it's life prematurely. I love animals. I paid for this site just to respond to you.

 

 

Hello Catofthewoods,

 

I want to thank you for your post. I am a recovering alcoholic, so I understand what you're talking about in regards to abuse. I hope that you find peace in your recovery. I think the closer we are to suffering, the harder it gets to see a way out of it, sometimes it isn't until we nearly lose everything that we can find the strength to make a change. I am trying to get things in order, especially for my cats. I love them very much. Anyways, I really just wanted to say thank you and tell you that I can see the honesty in your post and it really does mean a lot.

 

Aaron

[Birch]

Hi Aaron,

 

Sorry to hear you're having a rough ride. I don't know if it helps but I also went through some financial woes a while back. The anxiety was such that I thought it would never end. But it does. And you can help it along by not feeding into that dark stuff. Not only is it painful, but totally impractical if you want to be getting stuff done. I don't know why, over and above what happens, we sometimes insist on dwelling on it. I still do stuff like that and I can't figure out why I'd want to. So I'm learning to cut it off when I notice it.

 

The metaphysical BS might just help you rationalize enough to move on - unless you get bogged into ideas of deserving and karma.

 

I figure you can look back at those ideas once you've dealt with the issues at hand. Sure there's probably stuff that could be done differently, but until it happens, well, you just don't know (this is IME) otherwise you wouldn't be where you're at. No fault for learning.

 

And I know it's spiritually 'incorrect' but you're not alone in such times. So I guess there's stock to be taken in just how much is down to you and what is down to other things. Some folks might say to take 100% responsability, but I think that often gets confused with 'blame'. The 'response' is the only thing you take for yourself.

 

And I agree, a TTB's vacation when life calls is a good idea

 

Good luck and force to you

[Lucky7Strikes]

[Aaron]

Hello Folks,

 

It's good to see you back Strawdog. You've been gone far too long. I hope you stick around, we can use some of your pragmatism. I also want to thank everyone who offered their own advice and support. I honestly don't know where I am going to go from here, but I will try and that's, I guess, all I can really do.

 

I had this nightmare last night that me and my (twin) brother got separated and I couldn't find him... that's what's really haunting me, not so much losing my home, but losing my family and loved ones. I know what happens to people on the streets, you have a very limited window of time to get out, once that window closes it becomes very hard to leave that lifestyle.

 

I guess I really never saw it coming down to this. I've applied for some writing jobs, so who knows. Even if I do end up homeless, I will have my laptop, so I can work on the streets without worrying about that sort of thing. I am going to check into changing my address for most of my financial information and also find a good campground to stay at. My brother is checking into quality tents, so hopefully by the time the eviction comes we will be set up.

 

I thought I had gotten very centered, but now I feel very off kilter, like I'm wobbly. I am going to try and find a degree of peace again, because I know panic and despair will not help. I guess the only thing I can do is take it one day at a time, so I guess that's what I will do.

 

Aaron

[Marblehead]

I honestly don't know where I am going to go from here, but I will try and that's, I guess, all I can really do.

 

Aaron

 

Hi Aaron,

 

This caught my attention so I will speak to it.

 

When I go out into the world shopping or whatever and I encounter people I try to remember to tell them to have a great day. Many times people will respond with "I'll try." and I respond with "No, don't try. Just do it."

 

That's what I was talking about when I said do what needs be done. Just do it. (Of course, after the fact we must accept full responsibility for our actions.)

 

Best Wishes.

[Otis]

There is an opportunity, within crisis, to surrender self-image, as well.

 

"I shouldn't be in this situation" is just self-image talk. It has nothing to do with the flow of life, which by necessity, includes ups and downs. The situation is what's real, not the "I", and certainly not the "should". The resistance to "what is" just robs energy, causes vertigo, and keeps the solutions obscured.

 

Instead, the statement that is useful is: "here it is." This is the situation, now what I am I going to do about it?