anger, what now?

[Romie]

So as I was driving today and thinking I re-re-re-re-rerealized that I have a lot of anger and frustration. What kind of lead to that was I was thinking about something weird that happened when I was meditating a few days ago. It wasn't quite a visual hallucination as I didn't actually see it, and it wasn't a tactile hallucination as I didn't feel it, but for a few seconds the skin on the front of my torso "appeared" and "felt" to have been severely burned and/or scarred and I "was" anger and pain. It felt like that was all there was to me and like everything else is just a mask for this badness. After this happened I, as the kids say these days, "noped" and stopped what I was doing.

 

Yes I am an angry person. No, I do not express it in my day to day life as it usually only leads to people reacting in a way that will either victimize me and/or anger me further. No, it is not an option to express this anger.

 

Comments/critiques/etc appreciated but not expected.

 

Thanks! <3

[goldisheavy]

So as I was driving today and thinking I re-re-re-re-rerealized that I have a lot of anger and frustration. What kind of lead to that was I was thinking about something weird that happened when I was meditating a few days ago. It wasn't quite a visual hallucination as I didn't actually see it, and it wasn't a tactile hallucination as I didn't feel it, but for a few seconds the skin on the front of my torso "appeared" and "felt" to have been severely burned and/or scarred and I "was" anger and pain. It felt like that was all there was to me and like everything else is just a mask for this badness. After this happened I, as the kids say these days, "noped" and stopped what I was doing.

 

Yes I am an angry person. No, I do not express it in my day to day life as it usually only leads to people reacting in a way that will either victimize me and/or anger me further. No, it is not an option to express this anger.

 

Comments/critiques/etc appreciated but not expected.

 

Thanks! <3

 

People don't get angry for no reason. If you are angry, there is a reason for it. What is it?

[ChiDragon]

So as I was driving today and thinking I re-re-re-re-rerealized that I have a lot of anger and frustration. What kind of lead to that was I was thinking about something weird that happened when I was meditating a few days ago.

It wasn't quite a visual hallucination as I didn't actually see it, and it wasn't a tactile hallucination as I didn't feel it, but for a few seconds the skin on the front of my torso "appeared" and "felt" to have been severely burned and/or scarred and I "was" anger and pain. It felt like that was all there was to me and like everything else is just a mask for this badness. After this happened I, as the kids say these days, "noped" and stopped what I was doing.

 

Yes I am an angry person. No, I do not express it in my day to day life as it usually only leads to people reacting in a way that will either victimize me and/or anger me further. No, it is not an option to express this anger.

 

Comments/critiques/etc appreciated but not expected.

 

Thanks! <3

 

"Yes I am an angry person."

1. Can you tell us your health condition...???

2. What did you do in your meditation...???

3. Can you tell something more about your anger...???

4. What triggered your anger the most in the past..???

Edited June 7, 2011 by ChiDragon

[mjjbecker]

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/6395-releasing/page__p__73658__hl__sedona%20method__fromsearch__1entry73658

[Birch]

So as I was driving today and thinking I re-re-re-re-rerealized that I have a lot of anger and frustration. What kind of lead to that was I was thinking about something weird that happened when I was meditating a few days ago. It wasn't quite a visual hallucination as I didn't actually see it, and it wasn't a tactile hallucination as I didn't feel it, but for a few seconds the skin on the front of my torso "appeared" and "felt" to have been severely burned and/or scarred and I "was" anger and pain. It felt like that was all there was to me and like everything else is just a mask for this badness. After this happened I, as the kids say these days, "noped" and stopped what I was doing.

 

Yes I am an angry person. No, I do not express it in my day to day life as it usually only leads to people reacting in a way that will either victimize me and/or anger me further. No, it is not an option to express this anger.

 

Comments/critiques/etc appreciated but not expected.

 

Thanks! <3

 

 

I'd say you were angry with reason at some point. I guess it might be easier to not be angry at other points that don't warrant it if you knew what the first reason was. I also consider that 'angry' might be entirely justified at any point along our lives. Figuring all that sh*t out is IMO/IME the heart of practice(s) :-) Oh, and I almost forgot, there could be other reasons that lead you to similar 'angry' that might not be warranted by either whatever might be going on or your thoughts about anything. Might just be organic. In which case, might be 'easier' to heal.

[RiverSnake]

No, it is not an option to express this anger.

 

 

Of course you can. Find what makes you angry, then get a punching bag.

 

 

Temper

 

A Zen student came to Bankei and complained: "Master, i have and ungovernable temper. How can i cure it?

 

"You have something very strange," replied Bankei. "Let me see what you have."

 

"Just now i cannot show it to you," replied the other. "When can you show it to me?" asked Bankei

 

"It arises unexpectedly," replied the student. "Then," concluded Bankei, "it must not be your own true nature. If it were, you could show it you me at any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you. Think that over." Zen Flesh, Zen Bones

Edited June 8, 2011 by OldGreen

[deci belle]

Who ever said anger is bad? Anger is an effective emotion. Use anger expertly. It's like fire. Know when to turn it on and also how to put it out.

 

Know anger, then you can learn to turn it on and off at will. Don't let anyone try to put a guilt-trip on you about it, and don't do it to yourself.❤

[Harmonious Emptiness]

I hate to repeat myself, but

 

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1572962536605659291#

 

practice.

 

You will purify your energy this way.

 

There could be more to it, but this should turn that monster into an angelic light.

[doc benway]

Yes I am an angry person. No, I do not express it in my day to day life as it usually only leads to people reacting in a way that will either victimize me and/or anger me further. No, it is not an option to express this anger.

 

I've struggled with anger, still do.

 

As everyone has mentioned, there are reasons. Often lots of them.

Our lives are filled with causes for anger.

I think that anger can become a habit after a while.

It can feel safer than things like vulnerability, shame, fear, and so on.

But, ironically, we still repress it and it makes us sick.

When it's is an appropriate reaction to a threat, it is healthy.

When it becomes habitual, not so much.

There may initially be very valid reasons but one concern is that you don't know how to express the anger.

Expressing anger is a social taboo and repressing it is very unhealthy.

It's been my experience that most people suffering from chronic pain are physically manifesting repressed anger and rage.

Not a good place to be.

 

I would echo everyone else in suggesting that you look carefully at the anger.

You can start by feeling it in your body. Don't fight it but don't necessarily act impulsively either.

Be with it, feel it, don't push it away too quickly, learn to make room for it.

When you get more comfortable feeling the anger and can be with it for a while, you may be able to see what's under it.

Anger is almost always an indication of something else, like others have mentioned, it's reactive and protective - is there fear there? frustration? envy? discomfort with vulnerability? shame? And these things are not usually straight forward. There may be layers of things.

 

Now I don't really mean to say that you have to analyze it all. And the other thing is, you can't necessarily make those feelings go away. But I think that awareness of the anger, becoming more comfortable with, and accepting the feelings that it stems from are very important. It's the repression and frustration that lead to the anger and rage. When you can see the source, and accept that the feelings are natural - every one of us deals with similar negative feelings - then they begin to lose power over you. As long as they are hidden, you're helpless.

 

It's definitely worth the effort. It can change your life.

Good luck!

[DalTheJigsaw123]

What an awesome thread!

I am sure a lot of us can relate.

I say be mindful of the anger before it arises.

[Romie]

First off, sorry for my speedy response and thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate them greatly. I probably am having a stronger reaction to them than is normal, haha. It makes me feel like crying but not in a bad way. They're a relief and they're helpful.

 

 

 

"Yes I am an angry person."

1. Can you tell us your health condition...???

2. What did you do in your meditation...???

3. Can you tell something more about your anger...???

4. What triggered your anger the most in the past..???

 

1. The physical health is fairly well from what I can tell. I have phantom side pains in my lower abdomen, but thus far testing hasn't revealed anything abnormal. The consensus is that it's psychosomatic from, surprise, stress. Mental health... better than it has been. The official diagnosis is PTSD.

 

2. I was lying down and doing head to toe relaxation/dissolving outlined in your typical Bruce Frantzis book. (I don't usually lay down, but the boyfriend wanted me to come to bed and he finds it creepy if I do it sitting :\)

 

3. The anger I experienced in my meditation? I couldn't tell where the anger started and I began or vic versa. It felt like the only thing in me that was real and everything else was a lie. I can elaborate more if needed.

 

4. Being expected to shoulder the blame for the indiscretions of others against myself seems to be a reoccurring theme.

[ChiDragon]

First off, sorry for my speedy response and thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate them greatly. I probably am having a stronger reaction to them than is normal, haha. It makes me feel like crying but not in a bad way. They're a relief and they're helpful.

 

1. The physical health is fairly well from what I can tell. I have phantom side pains in my lower abdomen, but thus far testing hasn't revealed anything abnormal. The consensus is that it's psychosomatic from, surprise, stress. Mental health... better than it has been. The official diagnosis is PTSD.

 

2. I was lying down and doing head to toe relaxation/dissolving outlined in your typical Bruce Frantzis book. (I don't usually lay down, but the boyfriend wanted me to come to bed and he finds it creepy if I do it sitting :\)

 

3. The anger I experienced in my meditation? I couldn't tell where the anger started and I began or vic versa. It felt like the only thing in me that was real and everything else was a lie. I can elaborate more if needed.

 

4. Being expected to shoulder the blame for the indiscretions of others against myself seems to be a reoccurring theme.

 

Thank you very much for your honest answer telling the truth about yourself.

1. You have phantom side pains in your lower abdomen, how does it bother you...??? How often do you feel this pain...??? Are you taking any medication for it or does it help...???

 

2. In your mediation, were you thinking about something all the time...??? Or, you don't think of anything at all...??? Do you do any special breathing while meditate...???

 

3. Yes, please can you elaborate more on item #3.

 

4. This seems to be yourself worse weakness. I think you can overcome that by follow the principles of Tao. Tao is natural. Natural has an implication of being neutral.

 

What I can see is that your issue was immanent. If you can meditate in a neutral state, that will help you to put your mind at ease. Why don't you answer questions #2 and #3, then we go from there...

Edited June 8, 2011 by ChiDragon

[suninmyeyes]

Who ever said anger is bad? Anger is an effective emotion. Use anger expertly. It's like fire. Know when to turn it on and also how to put it out.

 

Know anger, then you can learn to turn it on and off at will. Don't let anyone try to put a guilt-trip on you about it, and don't do it to yourself.❤

This.

Know your anger .Watch it ,dont have participate.

[Otis]

I re-re-re-re-rerealized ...

This is a great hint. It suggests that you are aware of your anger, but only upon occasion. Are you tuning it out?

 

If you can pay attention, not only to the source of the anger, but also to the process of "turning away" from the awareness of that anger, I think that will be very useful.

 

Anger, IME, usually arises from wounds, possibly very old ones. Wounds heal through your patient, loving attention to what hurts. But if you have a habit of tuning out, then you rob the wound of the very attention it needs.

 

Take care!

[de_paradise]

I am not sure if you are a spritual cultivator seeking to purify your conciousness to attain the Tao, but if you are, then this anger can be used to further your progress. Its almost a mathematical formula, where the negative emotions, neutralized, bring a sort of spiritual progress that cannot be had if your life were all nice and good. So you are lucky you can have this anger, but you also have to have the diligence and resolve to get out of the anger as quickly as you can right when you got it. Its like going from -2 to +2 is getting you 4 points. Sounds corny but many teachers say how the negative emotions or happenings is one of the best ways to go forward in spirituality. But the responsibility to get out of that state when you are deep in that state, and thereby reap the benefits, is only on you. Anger is in the mind, its ego based. Its your expectations not being fulfilled, your. Maybe society would think you are in the right, but society are not spiritual cultivators. Your only interest is to nullify your ego in this situation and go from -2 to +2 as fast as you can. No right no wrong, just utilize as grist for your spiritual progress. Since anger is mind based, it is mind- nullified, and because your habits and programming run deep, you have to throw everything and kitchen sink at it. So anything you might have picked up in this thread, in books about anger management or psychology, in Buddhism because they do alot of behavior modification. You know, like taking deep breaths, counting to 10, meditating, forgiveness, mentally sending love to the one you hate, and so on. Its not easy, but its worth it.

[Harmonious Emptiness]

As a complement to what has been said here, you might also look to strengthen your liver, since in TCM, anger is associated with the liver. One of the many herbs and foods that are good for this, is sage tea (which I enjoy a lot). Just remember less is more with sage (enough to flavour the water is usually good. edit: let non-caffinated, medicinal herbals steep for 20 minutes). Other liver cleansing and strengthening methods could also be good, including avoiding toxic stuff that the liver has to work to discard. Drinking cold drinks with food puts a bit of strain on the liver to digest, whereas hot tea helps it to heat up and digest better.

 

If you're into healing meditations, send some love to your liver.

 

Also, in being "spiritual" and all the like, negative emotions are often suppressed so they don't interfere with us reaching up to a higher state. When we don't express these emotions in a healthy way, they grow rather being released, and sometimes end up manifesting physically. Exercises can purify our spirits so we don't have much negative emotion, but when we do have them, we must able to release them, at least in small amounts until we have time to purify ourselves in whatever way (dancing, letting loose, qi gong, running)

 

Maybe try to exhale the negative energy with the sound: Xu (pronounced Shuu, or Zhu. the Qi Gong healing sound for Liver). Sort of like your saying "Ahhhhhh!", but ZSHUUUUUUUUUUUU. It might even sound like an exhale through your lips, but with a bit of the the ShOOOO. Perhaps it's worth a try. But don't get too attached to it. Don't get attached to the anger. It's just a response. You'll let it out healthily and it won't be too attached too. "Sometimes the best way to pacify a rowdy bull is to give it more space."

Edited June 9, 2011 by Harmonious Emptiness

[doc benway]

As a complement to what has been said here, you might also look to strengthen your liver, since in TCM, anger is associated with the liver. One of the many herbs and foods that are good for this, is sage tea (which I enjoy a lot). Just remember less is more with sage (enough to flavour the water is usually good). Other liver cleansing and strengthening methods could also be good, including avoiding toxic stuff that the liver has to work to discard. Drinking cold drinks with food puts a bit of strain on the liver to digest, whereas hot tea helps it to heat up and digest better.

 

If you're into healing meditations, send some love to your liver.

 

Also, in being "spiritual" and all the like, negative emotions are often suppressed so they don't interfere with us reaching up to a higher state. When we don't express these emotions in a healthy way, they grow rather being released, and sometimes end up manifesting physically. Exercises can purify our spirits so we don't have much negative emotion, but when we do have them, we must able to release them, at least in small amounts until we have time to purify ourselves in whatever way (dancing, letting loose, qi gong, running)

 

Maybe try to exhale the negative energy with the sound: Xu (pronounced Shuu, or Zhu). Sort of like your saying "Ahhhhhh!", but ZSHUUUUUUUUUUUU. It might even sound like an exhale through your lips, but with a bit of the the ShOOOO. Perhaps it's worth a try. But don't get too attached to it. Don't get attached to the anger. It's just a response. You'll let it out healthily and it won't be too attached too. "Sometimes the best way to pacify a rowdy bull is to give it more space."

Do you think it would also help to practice Beng Quan to strengthen the liver for those of us who practice Xingyiquan?

Beng is Wood and known as crushing. I've practice Xingyiquan for a long time but never with the intent of addressing organ imbalances. Do you have any experience in this?

[Harmonious Emptiness]

Do you think it would also help to practice Beng Quan to strengthen the liver for those of us who practice Xingyiquan?

Beng is Wood and known as crushing. I've practice Xingyiquan for a long time but never with the intent of addressing organ imbalances. Do you have any experience in this?

 

I've never practiced Xingyiquan, but I see that it has some Wu Dang roots and so it most probably has some use for strengthening and cleansing energy and organs. If you also practice some qi gong movements for strengthening and cleansing the organs, there might be some similarities in the elemental movements of each system. With sensitivity to the qi gong experience, the movements of Xingyiquan will probably resonate, but I wouldn't be able to tell you how why and when. There's a fair amount of free qi gong tutorials on youtube, so you might be able to test this theory on your own. See how the movements are releasing and retaining. This is the rhythm of Taoism.

 

I'm not a master. Just a haphazard scholar

[sirius]

to get rid of anger and to get back into balance again is possible by working with the five elements. of course you can strengthen your liver by doing some special exercises - but this is just one piece of the puzzle. there are several methods that you can use: for example the zhan zhuang standing postures which are related with the elements metal, water, wood, fire and earth. another good exercise for cleaning your body/ your emotions is "the five healing sounds". try to find a qualified teacher or an experienced student who can give you more information about that.

 

many blessings!

 

sirius

[Bluefront]

Suppressing anger will cause it to rot and eventually make everything STINK.

 

Anger should be properly channeled into some other, more productive venue.

Anger can be a great motivator for action and such. This is because when we are very angry there is a high concentration of dopamine in the brain (or it was some other neurotransmitter, not completely sure) which is great for getting of your ass and doing something about the situation which called for anger.

 

Either hitting the douchebag straight in the face or deciding to get a job rather than sitting at home and wishing about having one, for example.

[manitou]

I really like your answer, DeParadise.

 

I would add that our emotions are based on two things: either love or fear. Anger rises out of a deep down fear. That's the challenge, to get under the anger to the original fear, see it for what it is. Laugh at it if necessary, or imprint to the opposite. Do something 'in the physical' to change that fear dynamic. Anger is actually a wonderful measuring stick for the condition of our insides, once a person can sidestep the anger and see it for what it is.

[zerostao]

imo it is easy for some of us to pretend we are angels or kind beings

until someone else comes along and ruffles our feathers in some way.

then it is when the true colors of character show themself.

there are many opportunities to grow and learn more about ourself.

edit > and others. but knowing ourself is the idea,

i think.

Edited June 11, 2011 by zerostao

[Aaron]

I really like your answer, DeParadise.

 

I would add that our emotions are based on two things: either love or fear. Anger rises out of a deep down fear. That's the challenge, to get under the anger to the original fear, see it for what it is. Laugh at it if necessary, or imprint to the opposite. Do something 'in the physical' to change that fear dynamic. Anger is actually a wonderful measuring stick for the condition of our insides, once a person can sidestep the anger and see it for what it is.

 

Hello Manitou,

 

I would say our emotions are based on one thing, survival. Everything we do is dependent on our need to survive. The problem with modern day society is that we oftentimes misconstrue what's actually happening to us, sometimes we act on an emotion, not out of survival, a need, but rather a want. A key to understanding our true inner condition is to understand whether we are reacting out of necessity, or some inner desire that has to do with wants.

 

Now wants aren't bad mind you, they are tied to survival as well, we hoard to prepare for the future, but sometimes we collect things we'll never need and that's when it becomes tricky.

 

Trying to explain it on a forum is moot though, since it is a very complex process that takes a great deal of time and effort (emphasis on effort) to really figure out. Someone can tell you til they're blue in the face, but until you actually figure it out on your own, it wont do much good.

 

Aaron

[Aaron]

So as I was driving today and thinking I re-re-re-re-rerealized that I have a lot of anger and frustration. What kind of lead to that was I was thinking about something weird that happened when I was meditating a few days ago. It wasn't quite a visual hallucination as I didn't actually see it, and it wasn't a tactile hallucination as I didn't feel it, but for a few seconds the skin on the front of my torso "appeared" and "felt" to have been severely burned and/or scarred and I "was" anger and pain. It felt like that was all there was to me and like everything else is just a mask for this badness. After this happened I, as the kids say these days, "noped" and stopped what I was doing.

 

Yes I am an angry person. No, I do not express it in my day to day life as it usually only leads to people reacting in a way that will either victimize me and/or anger me further. No, it is not an option to express this anger.

 

Comments/critiques/etc appreciated but not expected.

 

Thanks! <3

 

Hello Romie,

 

You are not anger and pain, that's the first thing you need to realize. You may feel anger and pain, but you are actually a human being that feels these things, they are not you.

 

Being rid of anger requires that you first understand why you are angry, this can only be done through DEEP reflection. It took me several years to really understand the full nature of my anger. I, at one time, was a very angry person, even to the point of it becoming homicidal on occasion (though I never actually committed homicide, I had the sincere desire to do it.)

 

When you talk to a normal person about this, they wont understand, because most people never get to this point in their life, but I did because I grew up in very abusive household and suffered emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in that household. It shaped my view of myself and my personality so that I was filled with hate and loathing, much of it directed at myself. The only way I was able to overcome that anger was to finally understand that it stemmed from a fear of being hurt. I had to understand that this fear was natural, that I had been hurt and that was why I felt the way I did.

 

It sounds strange now, but the only way I could finally manage my anger was to admit I could not control life, that life was random, it was filled with cruelty and compassion, hate and love, that I could not be certain today or tomorrow which would occur, but living in fear of it, believing that I was always going to be victimized did nothing to be rid of it. I gave up trying to control life and instead turned my will and life over to the notion of compassion.

 

This isn't bullshit mind you. I actually had to do this. If I didn't I'm sure I would be in prison right now for one reason or another. On a daily basis I have to examine my life and actions and do what I think is right. I have had to learn to live and let live to the best of my ability, to not feel threatened by others.

 

Am I still an asshole? On occasions yes, but not nearly to the extent I used to be. Today I don't wake up angry at the world, feeling like I've gotten the short end of the stick, regardless of my situation, rather I realize that I am no better and no worse than anyone else and by understanding this I can also understand that I am capable of great evil and great good, but it doesn't arise on it's own, I must be aware of my actions and choose which I will be, evil or good.

 

When I get angry at someone today I consciously hope for the best for that person. I used to pray for them, but today I think prayer is futile, except that it helps me to consciously realize what I want to happen in my life. If I consciously wish the best for someone else, the anger goes away, almost always it goes away completely. It doesn't arise later where I say, "remember when you did this to me" for instance, rather I can look at the current situation fresh and address it.

 

I drank for nearly two decades because of fear. I tried to escape my past for many many years, if I hadn't gotten sober, who knows what I would've become or done. I look at each day now as a new beginning, no matter how corny that sounds. I've ceased trying to be good and I just do good. If I end up making a mistake, I make amends for it. I don't try, I just do. That is where the rubber meets the road in the end, when you cease trying and just do.

 

I don't know if this will help you at all. Probably it wont help that much, but I do want you to know that whatever has happened, it happened, whether it was for a reason or not doesn't matter so much, what matters is where you go from here. Examine your past, understand why you are the way you are, and then you can begin to become the person you want to be, it really is as simple as that. Just remember that you will never be perfect, you will still make mistakes. What makes a man a "real" man is that he can accept his mistakes and do right by them.

 

Aaron

[InfinityTruth]

B.K. Frantzis's tao of letting go. I've been working with it maybe...six times so far. Best drug that money can't buy, you seriously can't beat the feeling when you get a release.

 

You feel less limited and it brings your perspective to a nice balance.

 

Sedona method does something very similar.