Motivation vs Concentration/Focus

[Everything]

[Otis]

Good topic, Everything.

 

One key thing, I think, is that if I'm not living an authentic life (i.e. if I'm living according to how I think I'm supposed to be), then there's a very good chance that what I'm trying to do will not match up with how I'm internally motivated.

 

For example, if I have the soul of an artist, but go to law school to please my parents, there's a good chance that I'm going to run into a wall, at some point. Willpower is great, but actually loving what I'm doing, makes the effort seem minimal, and the suffering seem worthwhile.

 

IME, the more I'm willing to listen to my own system (my heart, my body, my appetites), and allow it to set the pace, the more my motivation and my life are in sync. Rather than follow a "respectable" path, I try to listen to what does actually drive me, and see how I can build my life around that.

 

What actually drives me, BTW, was often a surprise to me, when I started listening.

[Everything]

Good topic, Everything.

 

One key thing, I think, is that if I'm not living an authentic life (i.e. if I'm living according to how I think I'm supposed to be), then there's a very good chance that what I'm trying to do will not match up with how I'm internally motivated.

 

For example, if I have the soul of an artist, but go to law school to please my parents, there's a good chance that I'm going to run into a wall, at some point. Willpower is great, but actually loving what I'm doing, makes the effort seem minimal, and the suffering seem worthwhile.

 

IME, the more I'm willing to listen to my own system (my heart, my body, my appetites), and allow it to set the pace, the more my motivation and my life are in sync. Rather than follow a "respectable" path, I try to listen to what does actually drive me, and see how I can build my life around that.

 

What actually drives me, BTW, was often a surprise to me, when I started listening.

That is a truth that is hard for me to face or accept. Sure something I feel like "I cannot just follow my heart! I will become a bum!" Or something like that... then in the end I don't care and becoming a bum is more fulfilling in life. Sometimes I really do desire to just follow my heart, but I wish to live without desire, without trying to fulfill all my egotistic desires or longings of the eye. I want to keep my heart quite, relaxed, chill... In peace... I really do. I no longer wish for excitement nor do I seek it. Paradoxically this way I no longer have all the fear and anger/sadness aswell.

 

My heart is the very thing that allows me to experience every single moment. But my peace does come when I simply do work against my will without thinking about it and then later filling my belly at the end of the day as a reward. All I really want in life is food, thats the truth of my heart here. When I seek love or riches I end up with expenses and fear... My heart still has this ocasional wish to be loved and have alot of riches or abundance, but its almost gone and my days are very peaceful now. So we should not allow the heart to control us right? Just observe the heart and know everything is going ok down there, but you cannot cure your heart from the outside in. "following the heart" seemed to be a solution in the past, but it only seem to cure symptons now...

 

What do you think?

Edited June 15, 2011 by Everything

[Everything]

Ok in short. Live without following the heart brings less excitement and thus less sadness aswell? Or would you say thar we can accumulate loce from the outsidr in and be generous with our abundant love that way?

[Non]

perhaps because motivation is based on sympathetic fight or flight/fear based adrenaline?

[RiverSnake]

Meditate on this.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY50vvMjX_o

 

-Otis gave good advice: As within it is without.

Edited June 16, 2011 by OldGreen

[Otis]

That is a truth that is hard for me to face or accept. Sure something I feel like "I cannot just follow my heart! I will become a bum!" Or something like that... then in the end I don't care and becoming a bum is more fulfilling in life. Sometimes I really do desire to just follow my heart, but I wish to live without desire, without trying to fulfill all my egotistic desires or longings of the eye. I want to keep my heart quite, relaxed, chill... In peace... I really do. I no longer wish for excitement nor do I seek it. Paradoxically this way I no longer have all the fear and anger/sadness aswell.

 

My heart is the very thing that allows me to experience every single moment. But my peace does come when I simply do work against my will without thinking about it and then later filling my belly at the end of the day as a reward. All I really want in life is food, thats the truth of my heart here. When I seek love or riches I end up with expenses and fear... My heart still has this ocasional wish to be loved and have alot of riches or abundance, but its almost gone and my days are very peaceful now. So we should not allow the heart to control us right? Just observe the heart and know everything is going ok down there, but you cannot cure your heart from the outside in. "following the heart" seemed to be a solution in the past, but it only seem to cure symptons now...

 

What do you think?

I hear you, Everything. I've been trying to choose that path for myself (stop controlling, and do what comes naturally) for the past few years, and it's not always an easy transition. My path has traveled through some indulgence / low-level hedonism (and is still emerging from that now), because that is part of where my system wanted to go. It is easy to believe the slippery-slope argument that it will lead all the way to being a "bum".

 

Of course, when I first started listening and following my system, the urges that arose were not necessarily the "natural" choices that my organism might have made, prior to all its conditioning, and the zig-zag reinforcement that I've negotiated with life thus far. Indeed, if that had been my true inner nature expressing itself, I think I would have crashed a long time ago.

 

However, I've found that the longer I practice following, rather than leading, the more that my system learns to be self-balancing. Freed of my micro-managing, my desires actually lead me in directions I didn't expect, like facing my fears and my pain, and choosing adventure and growth over comfort. IME, the organism itself has all the tools it needs to wake up into maturity; it was just confused and contorted, because it has been under my (i.e. my ego's) control, thus far.

 

I don't think that following desire is necessarily egotistical. I think that is an error of puritanical myth and of two awkward interpretations into English. After all: "when thirsty, drink; when hungry, eat." The desire to love others is the fuel behind compassion; the desire to be clear and integral is part of waking up. Desire is the only motivator that leads us; fear, duty, and shoulds just chase us.

 

IME, the problem with desire is when it is aimed at covering up pain. Only pain that is faced and embraced will lead to healing. If I keep turning away from, or covering up suffering, then I never heal, and I become addicted to the pleasures that keep my pain at bay. IME, the more I'm willing to face and accept suffering, the less I need pleasure, in order to keep myself balanced.

 

And "ego" is not specifically about self-indulgence, but about mistaking my model of the world for the world itself. This includes all the "shoulds" and "oughts" that I have learned (including those about surrendering desire). Living according to an idea of how I'm supposed to be, is pure ego. It's a separation from what is. If I live by what is, that is not only "what events arise", but also "what arises within me". If I accept the outside world, but continue not to accept the inside world, then I remain in separation. I need to stop judging everything, including myself.

 

So I doubt my beliefs, but accept who I am. And note that "who I am" is not something that can or should be expressed in words, because that's just bringing it back into the realm of ego. Instead, just accept what arises within me, including awkward emotions, fantasies, thoughts, memories. Don't necessarily be controlled by it (because I am still in transition stage), but don't judge it as wrong, or turn away from it.

 

Our earliest programming in life is to "be a good boy/girl". So, when we cultivate, it's very tempting to keep rewarding that concept of what it means to be "good", including being a good meditator or a good Buddhist. But that was obedience that was being taught, not freedom. To be free, I need to surrender what I think is "good" and "bad", and be willing to be empty before experience, to be taught by my life, and by my body.

[Everything]

I hear you, Everything. I've been trying to choose that path for myself (stop controlling, and do what comes naturally) for the past few years, and it's not always an easy transition. My path has traveled through some indulgence / low-level hedonism (and is still emerging from that now), because that is part of where my system wanted to go. It is easy to believe the slippery-slope argument that it will lead all the way to being a "bum".

 

Of course, when I first started listening and following my system, the urges that arose were not necessarily the "natural" choices that my organism might have made, prior to all its conditioning, and the zig-zag reinforcement that I've negotiated with life thus far. Indeed, if that had been my true inner nature expressing itself, I think I would have crashed a long time ago.

 

However, I've found that the longer I practice following, rather than leading, the more that my system learns to be self-balancing. Freed of my micro-managing, my desires actually lead me in directions I didn't expect, like facing my fears and my pain, and choosing adventure and growth over comfort. IME, the organism itself has all the tools it needs to wake up into maturity; it was just confused and contorted, because it has been under my (i.e. my ego's) control, thus far.

 

I don't think that following desire is necessarily egotistical. I think that is an error of puritanical myth and of two awkward interpretations into English. After all: "when thirsty, drink; when hungry, eat." The desire to love others is the fuel behind compassion; the desire to be clear and integral is part of waking up. Desire is the only motivator that leads us; fear, duty, and shoulds just chase us.

 

IME, the problem with desire is when it is aimed at covering up pain. Only pain that is faced and embraced will lead to healing. If I keep turning away from, or covering up suffering, then I never heal, and I become addicted to the pleasures that keep my pain at bay. IME, the more I'm willing to face and accept suffering, the less I need pleasure, in order to keep myself balanced.

 

And "ego" is not specifically about self-indulgence, but about mistaking my model of the world for the world itself. This includes all the "shoulds" and "oughts" that I have learned (including those about surrendering desire). Living according to an idea of how I'm supposed to be, is pure ego. It's a separation from what is. If I live by what is, that is not only "what events arise", but also "what arises within me". If I accept the outside world, but continue not to accept the inside world, then I remain in separation. I need to stop judging everything, including myself.

 

So I doubt my beliefs, but accept who I am. And note that "who I am" is not something that can or should be expressed in words, because that's just bringing it back into the realm of ego. Instead, just accept what arises within me, including awkward emotions, fantasies, thoughts, memories. Don't necessarily be controlled by it (because I am still in transition stage), but don't judge it as wrong, or turn away from it.

 

Our earliest programming in life is to "be a good boy/girl". So, when we cultivate, it's very tempting to keep rewarding that concept of what it means to be "good", including being a good meditator or a good Buddhist. But that was obedience that was being taught, not freedom. To be free, I need to surrender what I think is "good" and "bad", and be willing to be empty before experience, to be taught by my life, and by my body.

Ok, I can totally relate to that.

I thought you ment follow your heart as in follow your desires. I know that everything out there is fake. Only our senses and present experiences or feelings are real. I practice lucid dreaming and addepting quickly to new realities. This practice has been really fruitful. Or dream yoga its called? Our thoughts are not in the present. Thoughts derive from the memory and hold the concept of past and future, while in the real world we cannot possible comprehend the true nature of time.

 

I think the answer to this one really lies within. I totally overlooked this one though. Motivation has not got much to do with concentration from that perspective. The illusipn here is that some things are more fun then others. It is an ilusion from the memory that comes up while trying to focus on my goals.

 

My ego was in the way here, I'm embarresed to admit. The topic title should be focus vs flexibilty. Let me share the concept here. Its the least I can do.

 

As I said, my weakness is focus. For example:

Goal: Reach the next country C.

The road has a huge wall blocking. I start driving on the sand beside the road and make a stop at country G then Eventually I end up in country Z. Got flexibility but no focus.

 

While someome who lacks flexibilty

Goal: Reach the next country C.

The road has a huge wall blocking. Oh my god a wall. What are we going to do now? My focus is on getting on the other side of the road. You try to ride up to the top of the wall and your engine explodes. Not even realizing that you can ride besides the road on the sand aswell. Focus, but no flexibility.

 

Thanks for the great posts Otis. Very powerful advice indeed. You seem to write from a place of much experience. It is generous.

[Everything]

Meditate on this.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY50vvMjX_o

 

-Otis gave good advice: As within it is without.

I've found that neither money nor desire is the most important thing in life. Money is currently equal to debt. Desires change and never become satisfied.

I seek that which does not change, it is within. With this inner truth any life is peaceful. So I just continue on pretending I don't know this is a dream. Unless someone asks ofcourse. I'm going to let this one slip my mouth. Sorry in advance

 

Thanks for sharing the video. I've enjoyed listening to it

Edited June 17, 2011 by Everything

[Otis]

Thanks for the good words, Everything.

 

Ok, I can totally relate to that.

I thought you ment follow your heart as in follow your desires.

I really do mean that: my path is to follow my desires. I just think that "desire" covers a much greater territory than the "immediate gratification" or "pain-covering pleasure cycle". I think that when the organism is healthy, then the desires are in balance.

 

I think that the very first crisis in life, colors everything that follows it. That crisis, IMO, is: my parents (who are Gods to me) usually love me, but sometimes they do not; sometimes they seem to hate me (when they are angry, tired, etc.). When one's entire life is dependent upon others, then "not being loved" = death, so the infant desperately needs to figure out: how do I control and manage the moods of my parents?

 

The first lesson is not about learning to trust one's self, but about trying to control others. So the desires that would lead us into self-discovery, are instead stunted, as we focus on trying to avoid displeasing the gods. Especially with parents who teach through "no's" instead of "yes's", it is constantly reinforced: "do not do what comes naturally!" Stop being who you are.

 

So, now that I'm a grown-up, how can I find out who I am, if I'm not willing to follow my desires? As long as I remain in the mode of: I must control the world by doing the right thing, then I am stuck in that primary crisis, and will never explore the possibilities of who I actually am.

[Otis]

The topic title should be focus vs flexibilty. Let me share the concept here. Its the least I can do.

 

As I said, my weakness is focus. For example:

Goal: Reach the next country C.

The road has a huge wall blocking. I start driving on the sand beside the road and make a stop at country G then Eventually I end up in country Z. Got flexibility but no focus.

 

While someome who lacks flexibilty

Goal: Reach the next country C.

The road has a huge wall blocking. Oh my god a wall. What are we going to do now? My focus is on getting on the other side of the road. You try to ride up to the top of the wall and your engine explodes. Not even realizing that you can ride besides the road on the sand aswell. Focus, but no flexibility.

I was hoping to eventually respond to the "Concentration/Focus" part of your OP; thanks for bringing that back up.

 

Can I offer a different example, with a less concrete "goal"? Let's say that I've met a girl that I'm really attracted to. What's my next step? Do I set a goal (which is a fantasy), and then work toward that fantasy? But that may have nothing to do with where the girl is at.

 

Or do I put my focus on being present, unafraid, and listening, when I'm around that girl, so that I get to know her? Let her feel special, through my attention, rather than conjure up some "romantic-seeming" gesture, that works in theory, but may have nothing to do with her? Learn about her, by emptying myself?

 

In this example, the "focus" for me, has very little to do with a specific goal, although it has everything to do with my desire. My desire, hopefully, will fuel my presence around the woman, so that I can humble my concepts and my grasping, and really tune in to her, let the immediacy of "what is" shape my path.

 

Another way to put it: rather than focus vs. flexibility, I instead need courage balanced by caring. Courage to do what comes naturally to me (i.e. face the woman, without fear), and caring to listen to her, and appreciate where she's at, moment to moment, without trying to force things through goal-oriented behavior.

[humbleone]

Good topic and great replies.

 

I think Allan Watts who i can listen to all day, offers in this case dangerous advice. If one is married with children things change. I like many others have a dual life. I hold a silly job in corporate america that pays well, but my real passion in life has never earned me a dime. hard choices.

 

I think spirituality is where we find balance and peace.

[Everything]

I was hoping to eventually respond to the "Concentration/Focus" part of your OP; thanks for bringing that back up.

 

Can I offer a different example, with a less concrete "goal"? Let's say that I've met a girl that I'm really attracted to. What's my next step? Do I set a goal (which is a fantasy), and then work toward that fantasy? But that may have nothing to do with where the girl is at.

 

Or do I put my focus on being present, unafraid, and listening, when I'm around that girl, so that I get to know her? Let her feel special, through my attention, rather than conjure up some "romantic-seeming" gesture, that works in theory, but may have nothing to do with her? Learn about her, by emptying myself?

 

In this example, the "focus" for me, has very little to do with a specific goal, although it has everything to do with my desire. My desire, hopefully, will fuel my presence around the woman, so that I can humble my concepts and my grasping, and really tune in to her, let the immediacy of "what is" shape my path.

 

Another way to put it: rather than focus vs. flexibility, I instead need courage balanced by caring. Courage to do what comes naturally to me (i.e. face the woman, without fear), and caring to listen to her, and appreciate where she's at, moment to moment, without trying to force things through goal-oriented behavior.

Hehehe, on my iPhone I cannot retrace my posts, weird interface on this site. Now that I'm on my computer I can finally reply again. Sorry for taking so long.

 

Man the words really get messy here... You're right, caring and confidence is great for sharing love, ofcourse it has to be returned aswell. Like you give her confidence she gives you care. Finding a mate, however, is not about succes or intellectual accomplishments woulden't you agree? It is not a "goal." A goal is just a small part in the relationship. The relationship consists of passion, friendship and partnership(goals).

 

Infact, with girls you spark first and formost with a physical attraction, you are mysterious to here because you know that you can do kung fu and your body language shows it, you accept her challenges and deal with it, you delve right in. Without this spark there is no passion. Also the girl has something beautiful about here, she challenges you and cheers for you, then I feel attracted. Thats my experience. Without those I just know passion will not last. It does not begin with friendship usually. Seeking a mate you just walk to a women not because you like her, but because you feel attracted to her, and she does not run away because she is attracted to you.

Secondly, the thing you talked about is friendship. You share your confidence and care with here and she gives it back, the emotional energies are spinning around and you feel alive around eachother. You become happy with eachother besides sticking around like magnets.

Last, but not least, you form a team, a partner and commit to eachother. You might get married and set clear boundaries but agree that you will return to love at the end of the day. This cannot be done if you're not intellectual complementary. Its like: she keeps the house clean, you mess it all up. Or you earn money, she spends it all away. Thats real teamwork

 

So what I ment with goals is the partnership part of the relationships with either yourself or others. Basicly, your efficiency with time. You either focus on certain things or are flexible. That is how you get things done. For example, your girlfriend might be focused, and you provide for the flexibiliy in your journey together towards a goal. Like going on vacation. But the vacation itself consists of attraction, friendship and partnership for the whole package.

 

I think you should definitely distinguish those while dating. It'd be really messy if you'd say like: "OK DARLING LISTEN UP! We're going to get happy today and we're going to do it good! You focus on getting candles, I try creating a love song for you that I will drink over champane... Ok you don't agree with this date? WHERE ARE YOUR ARGUMENTS GODDAMNIT!!!" Lol that should go right into a romance comedy film

[Everything]

Thanks for the good words, Everything.

 

 

I really do mean that: my path is to follow my desires. I just think that "desire" covers a much greater territory than the "immediate gratification" or "pain-covering pleasure cycle". I think that when the organism is healthy, then the desires are in balance.

 

I think that the very first crisis in life, colors everything that follows it. That crisis, IMO, is: my parents (who are Gods to me) usually love me, but sometimes they do not; sometimes they seem to hate me (when they are angry, tired, etc.). When one's entire life is dependent upon others, then "not being loved" = death, so the infant desperately needs to figure out: how do I control and manage the moods of my parents?

 

The first lesson is not about learning to trust one's self, but about trying to control others. So the desires that would lead us into self-discovery, are instead stunted, as we focus on trying to avoid displeasing the gods. Especially with parents who teach through "no's" instead of "yes's", it is constantly reinforced: "do not do what comes naturally!" Stop being who you are.

 

So, now that I'm a grown-up, how can I find out who I am, if I'm not willing to follow my desires? As long as I remain in the mode of: I must control the world by doing the right thing, then I am stuck in that primary crisis, and will never explore the possibilities of who I actually am.

Just reread your earlier posts here, they're great. I'm not quite sure what you ment with following desires at first, but with this post I think I do now.

 

I totally agree that identity comes from quiting the rat race of passiveness. Especially for a kid. Sitting passive and doing nothing will eventually lead to regression and becoming a child. So people say "Its better to make the wrong decision and learn from it then not to decide at all!" This is how you learn to deal with anger and fear. When people choose the passive journey, they become depressed. Alot of anger gets stored up, they do nothing with this energy, it becomes sadness, it becomes depression. You decide to become happy and seek excitement, face your fears, do courage and feel confident. Care for your desires and be assertive when angry to get what you want. That is what I ment with motivation. Being motivated by anger and fear in order to reach goals. When you're afraid, you do courage. When you're angry with work, you get some relax time and have fun with buddies. Motivation...

 

What you ment thought was not follow destructive desires, only positive desires. Only life enhancing desires, right?

 

What if you take care of the things that make you feel angry/ fearful in the first place? What do you need confidence for if you no longer become afraid. What do you need well-being for if you no longer become angry? That is what I mean with focus. With such a great focus people can withstand alot of pain and fear and become unsensitive to it. Like a samurai, who fights only out of commitment to higher order, not out of anger or fear. Without emotions. Tranquil like trees and grass, without desires. That sounds like an honorable way to go. If a murderer spits in your face while you were to execute him and you become angry, you have failed. Seath your sword and return home, for we do not kill out of anger. Do not kill animals out of hunger, but out of commitment for killing them the best way we can, fast and smooth with least pain possible. Commitment to something bigger then one self. Focus...

 

Is there really one without the other or do we need both motivation and focus? In the context of what I mentioned.

Edited June 27, 2011 by Everything

[Otis]

Just reread your earlier posts here, they're great. I'm not quite sure what you ment with following desires at first, but with this post I think I do now.

Hi Everything. Thanks for indulging me in this conversation. Some thoughts about what you wrote:

 

I totally agree that identity comes from quiting the rat race of passiveness. Especially for a kid. Sitting passive and doing nothing will eventually lead to regression and becoming a child. So people say "Its better to make the wrong decision and learn from it then not to decide at all!" This is how you learn to deal with anger and fear. When people choose the passive journey, they become depressed. Alot of anger gets stored up, they do nothing with this energy, it becomes sadness, it becomes depression. You decide to become happy and seek excitement, face your fears, do courage and feel confident. Care for your desires and be assertive when angry to get what you want. That is what I ment with motivation. Being motivated by anger and fear in order to reach goals. When you're afraid, you do courage. When you're angry with work, you get some relax time and have fun with buddies. Motivation...

I agree that bottling up emotions, and negating one's internal state, because it's not the way we're supposed to be, is damaging. Social and behavioral "rules" are based upon a paradigm that suggests that adhering to concepts can shape a child's behavior towards health. But what I see in the world, is that health comes from the easy flow of emotions, from acceptance of conditions and change, and from exercise and stretch of the full organism, including its emotional capacity.

 

I don't have a problem with "passiveness", per se. Sometimes, I think it's the best path. Patience is often a path of passiveness, for example.

 

It is denial, that I think is a problem. Denial is intentional self-blindness. Not just denial about facts in the world, but also denial about what's going on, inside of me. Acceptance of what is, IMO, is not just about the rest of the universe, but also about who I am, and how I feel.

 

It's a shame that "denial" and "avoidance" don't get more attention in the spiritual traditions. IME, denial is the mirror image of attachment, is every bit as severe, and causes every bit as much karma. Attachment is the clinging onto, whereas denial is the cringing away from.

 

It is entirely possible that someone could spend years meditating away from their attachments, and yet never deal with their neurotic detachment from life, which is every bit as problematic. There's a lot of psych research about non-dual meditators who end up very unhappy, because they empty their concepts, but don't fill their hearts.

 

What you ment thought was not follow destructive desires, only positive desires. Only life enhancing desires, right?

Honestly, I'm not sure it's that easy to distinguish between "destructive" and "positive" desires. Many of us (via Puritanical upbringing) have been warned away from sexual desire, and it can cause lots of trouble, when out of balance, but I don't agree that it's a destructive desire. Even the desire to destroy is sometimes a necessary one (like getting out of a bad marriage, or taking down a bad politician).

 

Contrarily, an obviously "positive" desire, like a mother nourishing and protecting her children, can absolutely go too far, and cause damage to the growth of those kids.

 

What "emptiness" suggests to me is: forget what you know, and instead, re-learn by paying attention to what's here and now. If I look at desire in that light, then I just see a biological system, that is supposed to motivate me toward healthy activity. Evolution has patterned-in room for error, but it has not (as far as I can tell) endowed humans with any truly self-destructive qualities. There is no organ, that tries to do harm to the organism's health. Even cancer is cell growth, that has gone pathological; in other words, a good function gone awry.

 

Likewise, I think that fear, jealousy, anger, pain, and even sadness are useful functions in the human organism, that sometimes get out of balance, and cause real suffering. Fear, for example, is a warning system, designed to keep the organism safe and healthy. It is only when the warnings get panicky, super-inflated and rife with false positives, that it becomes debilitating.

 

Desire is just one more motivator built into us. It just means "a pull in a certain direction". I think one should have some pretty good reasons, before one starts to defy (and deny) one's own internal pulls.

 

We have been taught to distrust our own inner guidance, and woe to all of us, because of that. How do I make my decisions as an adult, if I don't trust my own guidance? By sticking to the rules that my parents taught to me when I was a child? (Which I know are clearly incomplete, and were often designed to encourage obedience, being a "good boy", rather than to encourage me to find my own way). By reading about what is good for me, and doing that? That's fine, if you want boilerplate advice, but advice is often as contradictory as desire is; I still need to choose what advice to take.

 

The only answer that makes sense to me is: be patient, be inquisitive, be open, pay attention, let the world and my system be complex, without the need to reduce any of it to dualistic conceptual extremes. Listen to what's happening "out there" and also to what's happening "in here", and allow that matrix of influences to shape my next step. No good vs. bad, no me vs. them. Just what makes the most sense, right now, and for the future. What is useful?

 

In most cases, the desires that we see as "destructive" (e.g. sleeping with your friend's wife) are very non-useful. They present the possibility of short-term excitement, but at the cost of peace and trust with a friend. If we are willing to look, with as little bias as possible, at the effects of our actions, then we are much more likely to make a choice that benefits not only us, but those around us, and perhaps, the world at large.

 

What if you take care of the things that make you feel angry/ fearful in the first place? What do you need confidence for if you no longer become afraid. What do you need well-being for if you no longer become angry? That is what I mean with focus. With such a great focus people can withstand alot of pain and fear and become unsensitive to it. Like a samurai, who fights only out of commitment to higher order, not out of anger or fear. Without emotions. Tranquil like trees and grass, without desires. That sounds like an honorable way to go. If a murderer spits in your face while you were to execute him and you become angry, you have failed. Seath your sword and return home, for we do not kill out of anger. Do not kill animals out of hunger, but out of commitment for killing them the best way we can, fast and smooth with least pain possible. Commitment to something bigger then one self. Focus...

 

Is there really one without the other or do we need both motivation and focus? In the context of what I mentioned.

Excellent points!

 

My path has led me toward practice of facing my fears, by putting myself into (moderately) dangerous situations, in which (pretty much) all I need to do to survive, is to stay present and aware. This includes parkour, riding a motorcycle, sport dance, some low-level stunts. Each of these have called me to them, and asked me to surrender the panic that I have held onto, thus far.

 

I say "panic" rather than "fear", because again, I see fear as an alarm system, which is there for a reason. I do not want to deny my own alarms. But it is panic, which divorces me from a clear view of how real the threat is, and instead, hijacks my system, makes me into a purely reactive agent.

 

So, in brief summary: Yes, to surrendering panic, and yes, to engaging fully in life. What I don't advocate, is trying to divide life conceptually into good vs. bad or positive vs. destructive. That's just unnecessary and self-blinding over-simplification. Instead, let the world (and me) be complex. Take my time, with most decisions that will ripple for awhile. And when I choose something that ends up creating karma, take responsibility for it, and do my best, to clean up my messes.

 

The most important thing for me (i.e. what I desire), is not to get it right, but to grow. And that means, I have to be willing to fail, to be the jerk, to get injured, to do the wrong thing. And then, when I realize what I've done - don't deny, but focus on making it better again.

[Stigweard]

Thanks for this topic. It's very relevant to me at the moment and I would like to use it to stream some thoughts.

 

There is always the discussion, especially on a Daoist forum, about whether or not having "goals" is a "good" thing or not. The reason being is that there seems to be some contradiction between the idea of Wu Wei, aka not doing, and the idea of planning or aiming for a predetermined outcome.

 

It's a fair point and I can't say I have fully decided my final landing point in the discussion.

 

However, if you do have goals or aspirations then you need to get leverage on yourself. By this I mean you need to identify what gets you naturally inspired to take action.

 

Now some goal setting processes talk about linking rewards to the achievement of goals, for example: If I get this monthly sales figure I will treat myself to a holiday. Now this may work for some, but not for me personally.

 

Other systems may create progress charts to show the progress made. Again this is about as boring as bat shit to me.

 

Now just this morning I have had a bit of an epiphany of sorts ... I am a showman. By this I mean that I am literally a performing artist who has played his hand at professional stage fighting, fire dancing, swordfighting, magician, seminar presenter, ring announcing, master of ceremonies etc. etc.

 

What motivates me to excell is the thrill of an upcoming performance ... I love the stress and pressure of making sure the event is an outstanding success. And I get fired up by the fear of public embarrasment if I screw up.

 

But I have to admit that I have tripped myself up by comparing my peacock nature with the Daoist ideals of humility and not placing oneself first in the world. It would seem I have robbed myself of my personal Ziran by trying to conform to a conceptual model of virtue which is not the "high virtue" of Wu Wei that Laozi advocates.

 

But the simple truth is ... I am a showman, I am a peacock who likes to show my colours.

 

For example I have wanted to get myself back into the ripped physique I once had several years ago. But none of the "motivational systems" had really fired me up. So, if I was to enmesh this goal with my showmanship tendancies than what I really should do is produce an event that necessitates me to have physique I want.

 

Examples:

 

~ Martial Arts workshop with my old dojhang

~ Training DVDs for both Taijiquan and Martial Arts

 

Hmmm ... nice ... thanks for providing the space for my ramblings.

 

[MassTaoism]

Everybody encounters lack of motivation or concentration from time to time, it's a part of life, but when it happens to me sometimes a simple glass of water will put me back on track. I know that sounds weird but water seems to highten my concentration, if I'm doing some creative writing and am trying to really make a dent into what I need to do but I find my attention drifting I will usually grab a tall glass of water and take a few sips and before you know it I'm off and writing again. This won't work for everyone of course but it seems to do the trick for me, but personally, I believe motivation to be a huge key when it comes to concentration because if I've got nothing to motivate me when I will surly have a tough time keeping my focus on the activity at hand.

[Otis]

I have to admit that I have tripped myself up by comparing my peacock nature with the Daoist ideals of humility and not placing oneself first in the world. It would seem I have robbed myself of my personal Ziran by trying to conform to a conceptual model of virtue which is not the "high virtue" of Wu Wei that Laozi advocates.

 

But the simple truth is ... I am a showman, I am a peacock who likes to show my colours.

Excellent, Stigweard!

 

We are not all the same, and we don't have the same motivations, thank God! Some puritans say you shouldn't be in front of others, showing your colors, but the truth is, somebody's got to do it. Most of us like to be entertained, so it's important that some of us are entertainers.

 

The humility that I hear from Daoism is: "don't be above". That's it. Nothing wrong with being seen, if that is what your nature is about. Actual peacocks, after all, have it in their nature to show off; doesn't make them an un-Taoist bird!

[Stigweard]

Excellent, Stigweard!

 

We are not all the same, and we don't have the same motivations, thank God! Some puritans say you shouldn't be in front of others, showing your colors, but the truth is, somebody's got to do it. Most of us like to be entertained, so it's important that some of us are entertainers.

 

The humility that I hear from Daoism is: "don't be above". That's it. Nothing wrong with being seen, if that is what your nature is about. Actual peacocks, after all, have it in their nature to show off; doesn't make them an un-Taoist bird!

LOL ... exactly !!!

 

[C T]

Ah! But peacocks show off without a sense of being conscious that they are showing off... that's what make them 'more taoist' than some human entertainers who show off for the sake of misplaced pride and needy dispositions.

 

Not saying its wrong to be showing off, but depending on one's level of sanity and maturity, it could mean a difference between getting lost in life's drama or remaining non-attached in one's role. I have a few friends who are entertainers - Some are able to leave their work at the workplace, while others cant seem to. I see some fear in their being, as if they are afraid their identity will be diminished somehow should they remove their cloaks, or they may have lost the capacity to separate what is true and what is simply an act.

 

In my work as a chef i do a bit of entertaining too... customers like a bit of a show, a kind of flamboyance to go with their dining experience, which seem to work, cos they become regulars and repeat business is the bees knees! I cant imagine having to put up a similar display once the chef's jacket comes off. Different motivating factors at play.