New here

[Nihro]

Hi,

 

I don't really know how to start a thread regarding religious inspiration but my life has been somewhat abnormal and I suppose that the path through our collective knowledge is best based upon personal and communal motivation. Please excuse me somewhat if this thread sounds as if I am complaining, this is not my intention as I truly one-hundred percent believe that mistakes are only made if you truly believe that who you are now at this very moment is lacking and you fail to learn from your past. For myself I do not believe this to be the case. This is my contemplation on struggle met with the philosophy which has marked me towards a path of enlightenment.

 

Long story shortened, at the age of twelve I found that my 8 year old sister had been sexually abused by a close friend of the family. There were years where I no longer knew whether to trust my mother or father, and I ended up choosing the easier path. My parents divorced and I chose to live with my father who seemed kinder than my hard-lined mother. During these years my mother became an alcoholic and my father became more beholden towards his bipolar nature eventually becoming paranoid and secretive, it was during this time that he began exploring relations with other men which finally led him towards an affair with the man who had hurt my younger sister.

 

I do not know how long this affair lasted nor do I understand the extent of it, what I do know is that my father was writing this man for upwards of four years and visiting him in prison on an average of 3 times a month. Still, knowing this I stayed with my father. It was my opinion at the time that a man must not shy away from the hard truths of life and in order to get past our own problems we must first understand the roots of human motivation. I was 16?

 

During this time I was training to become an opera singer, and some strange path set me towards forgoing that option in favor of a calling of the law. I am in college training to ultimately become an attorney. I stayed with my father for two more years after finding my own hard truth that my father would never understand that his actions were wrong or illogical. At a young age I took it upon myself to save my family, and my father, and ultimately I learned about the subtle distinctions sustained through fruitless combat. This endeavor was not left wanting though, eventually I made some great friends who helped to reaffirm my faith in humanity and through the years I have become strong once again. Not strong in the manipulative hard callous way which I found myself in during my younger years, rather I have found...peace.

 

During my tumultuous years I found that two things could focus my mind: music and combat. I found karate and jujitsu very focusing but eventually had stop my martial practices in favor of music. This year I started training again in Tien Shan Pai and Chin Na and the effects were equally as focusing. Learning about Chinese martial arts set me upon the path of further exploration of Eastern philosophy. I have read a bit about Buddhism but it seemed to negative. I believe that life is what we make of it and focusing on the struggle too much is really to ignore that which makes our own reality beautiful. Personally I have seen the negative sides of life and they have driven me more towards the idea that life exists as a balance between dark and light, neither being better than the other. Rather I believe that our two sides are simply that: sides. I have read of many philosophers and the more I read and the more fluid my thoughts and actions become the more I believe that this life is based less on harsh realism and more upon the perceptions which we believe in. Everything in and of itself is somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe the world to be dark and sad you will find darkness and sadness, if you believe the world to be light and happy you will find good people and fun stories. Our lives all exist where we choose to look yet when one understands this to be true he must accept that others are not quite ready for this realization. Some struggle needlessly. It is understanding which a man must work towards, not the will to fight or the will of emotional realization.

 

So is this Taoism? What is Taoism and what should I read to find it? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Taoism to me is understanding that when a drunk person picks a fight with you it is easier and better to ignore the personal affront in favor of the realization that some are too far driven in the path of destruction and the realization that you can hurt someone does not make that action right or correct. Better to see that man for the fragile realization than give power towards your own anger. Fire burns first then it creates, I'd rather create now for there are plenty who would destroy.

 

Anyway, I am new to the idea of Taoism. I would greatly appreciate some recommendations in the form of readings or exercises so that I may delve more deeply in this idea of self.

 

Thanks much,

 

John

[Trunk]

John,

 

Welcome! to TTBs.

That was a generous intro.

I suggest that you repost the ? part in the main discussion area, as that's where you'll get responses. The "lobby" is pretty much just for introductions.

 

kind regards,

Trunk

 

So is this Taoism? What is Taoism and what should I read to find it?