"Manifesting"

[Marblehead]

you're fun!

 

You have succeeded in manifesting a chuckle in me!

 

Yeah, you did good Mahberry. Hehehe.

[Marblehead]

I don't know if the use of the word 'manifesting' was intended in this way this time but it is a popular term now because of the whole new age law of attraction stuff, but the issue of blame implied within that theory can be very harmful to people, for example Ken Wilber documents how when his wife got cancer she had to deal with lots of new age people telling her how she needs to take responsibility for attracting it and manifesting it but in the end that whole approach just caused her more pain and suffering before she died. Which is why I think that whole law of attraction stuff needs to be understood from a wider context and spiritual understanding of things like emptiness and a wider compassionate understanding, otherwise it can easily cause problems like guilt and blame, which is the problem of taking one spiritual law out of the context of wider teachings and emphasising it above others as it can cause more problems than it solves.

 

Excellent post Jetsun!

[manitou]

Mind uses the body to manifest thought into the 3 dimensional universe through language symbols.

 

 

Personally, I think this says it all.

 

I'll try to explain my usage of the term 'manifestation'.

 

I think we're all One.

If we're all One, there's nothing Other.

That means the One must be inside us.

I believe we are the eyes and ears of the One.

Our manifestations come up through ourselves, on the inside.

We can look at the conditions of our lives and see what our true beliefs are; they will have manifested around us.

Even though we 'say' we may want something else, the fact that we continue manifesting what we manifest is evidence that our inner self is not ready for the change yet. There is still something the inner self needs to learn.

 

If I'm manifesting sickness, I ask myself why I'm manifesting this. I am the Creator (I have it inside me, as does everyone else). If I manifest a broken leg, the real reason I'm manifesting the broken leg is probabaly because there's something I need to stop for. To See. To stop forward progress.

 

Magically, our real inner intent (our true self, as immature as it may be) manages to create the conditions which affect us. I don't know how the heck this happens, I just Know that it does. This is just my inner Knowing, this isn't anything I can cite chapter and verse on.

 

I manifested violence and strangulation and barfights when I was in my 20's. It was in my 30's that the inner work began. Now, 30 years later, I manifest flowers and greenery and healing and a gentle life with a nice indigenous man.

 

The only reason I know this about manifestation is that I've seen it work over a long period of time in my own life. The beauty of understanding that we manifest everything that comes our way, is that it gives us a different kind of control (or non-control) over our lives. We no longer look for other people to place the blame on. We see that at some level, we're doing it to ourselves. The liberation from having to blame others for everything that goes wrong is the very thing that liberates us. It turns us into adults who take full responsibility for everything that happens in our lives.

 

But even below that, taking full responsibility, is the Knowledge that it's not really 'us' doing the manifesting or the thinking - it is the One that is within. I'm just along for the ride.

 

I just don't like being a victim, that's all. And when my life was a mess, which it surely was, I was constantly feeling victimized. But at that time I didn't realize that the victimization was created by the character defects within me that were attracting all the negative. I just thought it was everybody else's fault all the time.

[Marblehead]

Very nice post Manitou. Consistent with where I believe you are right now based on your many other posts.

 

The only thing I would question would be the broken leg concept. You didn't manifest that, I'm sure. You fell off the ladder (or whatever) and your leg was broke. Yes, the realization was manifested by your inner being but manifest reality was already what it was.

[Clarity]

"spiritual programming."

 

Can you explain this???

 

As human beings, we are body, mind, and spirit. Each has it's own unique design or structure. I sometimes refer to it as programming.

 

The energetic method I use often reveals weaknesses that come from the spirit, not just the mind or the body.

[Vajrahridaya]

Perhaps manifesting because of the realization that there's no self behind desires and intentions that is truly directing this life, just an interplay of causes and conditions?

 

I haven't realize no self yet, I wouldn't know but it feels good to post this and have people think I'm smart when they agree with me.

 

LOL! Cute. I appreciate the manifestation of your candidness, arisen due to various causes and conditions of intra-co-manifesting influences...

[Vajrahridaya]

I don't know if the use of the word 'manifesting' was intended in this way this time but it is a popular term now because of the whole new age law of attraction stuff, but the issue of blame implied within that theory can be very harmful to people, for example Ken Wilber documents how when his wife got cancer she had to deal with lots of new age people telling her how she needs to take responsibility for attracting it and manifesting it but in the end that whole approach just caused her more pain and suffering before she died. Which is why I think that whole law of attraction stuff needs to be understood from a wider context and spiritual understanding of things like emptiness and a wider compassionate understanding, otherwise it can easily cause problems like guilt and blame, which is the problem of taking one spiritual law out of the context of wider teachings and emphasising it above others as it can cause more problems than it solves.

 

I agree wholeheartedly. I was trying to explain this to my new age friends in New York who were jumping on The Secret's bandwagon, they already had a pre-disposition towards reifying oneness, saying we are all the containers of the super consciousness and such. It's a philosophy that is more akin to solipsism than anything else. Things arise due to inter-causation, not independent causation. I am not alone here making things happen to me. That's just preposterous and yes, when the flip side happens, or negativity manifests that is deeply afflictive to an individual, this solipsistic understanding would lead to harmful psychological trauma if a person is not prepared in the deeper forms of contemplation.

[NeiChuan]

How I see it is. Depending on how open you are to events in your life. Or even how open you are to the Universe.

 

How much energy and how you feel can play a part aswell. The more you're developed the more you can "manifest" and have things happen in your favor. Usually things will happen instantly. For things you feel are out of your power, may take longer. but if you have the energy, it's all your perspective.

 

Karma is another matter. Possibly depending on your karma you may open up later on. Or stay closed forever.

 

the Correlation between Manifesting and Karma is a long conversation with things I can't say are absolute. So I'll leave it at that.

 

Hope I helped.

 

NeiChuan

[manitou]

There's a fairly simple thing to do if you want to see things manifest differently in your lives.

 

Every night, stop and look back over your day.

Look honestly at the part you played in everything that happened. Any arguments?

If there were arguments, what were you protecting? Your valuable opinion? Your pride?

Step aside from yourself if you can. See the event for what it really was.

Look under the event; look at your own character with no judgment, but see what dynamic it was inside of yourself that made you act that way. It's tied to something in your childhood, probably a memory with no emotion, as you've kept it under wraps emotionally.

 

If you find yourself justifying your own behavior, you haven't gone deep enough.

If you need to make an apology (after you've stopped justifying yourself), be sure you make the apology. Not an 'I'm sorry you misunderstood me' sort of apology, but a heartfelt apology and an admission that you were wrong in some way. If you still believe the other person to be partially wrong as well, let it go - don't say anthing to them about it. Let your ego eat humble pie. It'll be good for It. But usually what happens is that both people end up being pretty reciprocal about these things. If not, so much the better for the taming of your ego.

 

Once this dynamic is started, the 'going in' dynamic, it's like Spirit, or Great Spirit, or Tao, or God, or whatever you want to call it just keeps going. It's the Willingness to change and admit that our viewpoint is usually based on really selfish motives, until we get to the point where we're able to change our motives.

 

When our motives have changed, our manifestations will change.

 

It happens from the Inside Out.

[Vajrahridaya]

When our motives have changed, our manifestations will change.

 

It happens from the Inside Out.

 

I agree with the basic gist of what you are getting at here, and I've done many levels and types of this over the years, both here and in other areas of my life and it is helpful.

 

Non-the-less, to expect that this is going to make everyone play nice or be just as open, or that life is going to be a perfect concept of heaven and you're going to manifest a million dollars due to this, without respect for inter-causation, of course, there is delusion in that ideation.

 

Even your personal universe, as in the situations that manifest around you, are not completely your own creation, as we are all co-creating. It's just your personal interpretation of it that is yours to manipulate through wisdom or ignorance. Which at the same time, will manifest positive change in your personally experienced universe if there are secondary outer conditions in alignment with your wisdom.

 

But, for instance, a person in Auschwitz death camp who over the course of his/her suffering comes to a realization of the Big Compassion, like many of the Tibetan Vajrayanists did when China invaded and tortured and killed their families in atrocious ways. Still is not going to magically manifest an entirely different scenario unless the outer conditions manifested by the other participants in their life are open to receive such impetus or inspiration for transformation. Some people are going to attain one level of enlightenment or another over the course of those years of incredible hardship, like St. John of the Cross, but, unlike St. John of the Cross, are still going to face torture, death or live with dismemberment. The people around them just weren't open enough to feel that Big Compassion that the victim was displaying and they will still torture the person regardless of the inner state of mind that person has attained.

[fiveelementtao]

Another way to look at the issue is to simply accept full responsibility for everything that you experience. Otherwise, if there are things that we experience that we don't like for whatever reason, then we are merely victims of circumstance. If on the other hand, we can take full responsibility for all the circumstances in our lives, then our attitudes will be focused on how we can change that reality. If things are challenging, then we can enjoy the possibility that we have chosen challenging circumstances in order to grow.

 

For me, all the intellectual gymnastics trying to understand the concept is a waste of energy. I have proven to myself through experience that I am responsible for everything in my life. I don't have to know why or how I manifest everything in my life. Taking an attitude of responsibility and seeking to find ways to change my circumstances is far more empowering than being a victim or intellectually masturbating over it...IME, I find that if I do accept that I am responsible for everything that my life improves. But, it does take courage and one must be willing to experience their own pain and underlying issues.

 

Some schools of ayurveda teach that all illness is really an entity that has been invited into the body either unconsciously or consciously in order to shield the "victim" from other internal emotional issues that they are knowingly or unknowingly seeking to protect. Being a victim is a very powerful drug and for many is preferrable to the pain of facing one's issues...

my.02

[Harmonious Emptiness]

I think it is good to understand that "manifesting" does something, but there are things which are beyond our control too, maybe from past lives, I dunno.

 

How I understand/experience it is that sometimes we may wish for something without realizing that we're wishing for it. The movie "the secret" borrowed a lot from Robert Collier who was sort of an inspirational writer in the 1920s and on, and his writing was very influenced by Christianity and his own experience with "mental healing" as a child. The main thing was that you get what you focus on and what you wish for.

 

When someone is mad at themselves, they are wishing themselves to be punished. Any trained TCM practitioner will tell you that self hate is very dangerous. After we stop hating ourselves we might start to notice some damage that had been done. We're not wishing for this damage, but in a way we were earlier. Our thoughts can easily turn into actions without us realizing the connection. Self hate turns into eating terrible food, not going out and enjoying life, and other things which eventually punish the body and the organs.

 

There are numerous other ways that the body can be damaged; however, this IS one of them, and western science has finally had to recognize what every healing system in history has recognized.

 

Another more obvious scenario would be someone hating their job. They pray for something better and soon end up getting fired. They have faith that what they were looking for will come along, and an opportunity appears. They can't just wait for it to fall in their lap, but the branch hangs a bit lower when they're following their destiny.

 

-edit: Another good one that I read somewhere is that some chronic illnesses won't go away because the person is so attached to the care and love that they receive as a sick person. This can develop out of childhood especially.-

 

It's always worth asking the question "what will this manifest in my life" when we're careless with our emotions (and I don't mean that in an extreme way either). I wouldn't attribute a disease to "manifestation" right away, but it's definitely something to consider very deeply when trying to stop the disease, as someone might still be telling their body to punish itself while treating it externally and so it will fight rather than welcome the healing.

Edited July 13, 2011 by Harmonious Emptiness

[Vajrahridaya]

For me, all the intellectual gymnastics trying to understand the concept is a waste of energy.

 

....I have proven to myself through experience that I am responsible for everything in my life.

 

So, insight into the nature of things is intellectual masturbation and merely conceptual?

 

So, I have independently manifested absolutely every circumstance that comes into my life? This sounds like Solipsism.

 

I don't think one has to delve into a conceptual level of logic to know this isn't true, it's rather a matter of direct insight into the nature of phenomena which helps one realize that we are co-manifesting here, not independently manifesting.

 

I have definitely manifested every interpretation and thus response to what has manifested in my life, lifetime after lifetime, and due to this power of insight or ignorance, I can ascend to higher and higher states of environment reflective of higher inspired personal activity, or descend through to the hells of externally manifested inner ignorance.

 

At the same time, what about people like Mother Theresa? She made the conscious choice to delve into one of the worst slums on the planet and work tirelessly to help people. Does everything that happens to her body in that environment have anything to do with past mis-deeds? At the same time, people who shine brilliantly and take care of themselves in such environments, generally remain unscathed, that is true. But, that doesn't have anything to do with the circumstances arising around her being her manifestation, that has to do with her inner state of interpreting the energy and information prevalent in that environment through intuitive levels of love and compassion.

 

At the same time, I've met rich people surrounded by all sorts of heavenly occurrences, be far less internally enlightened than a person from circumstances surrounded by poverty.

 

Still, when other people don't take responsibility for their own actions that effect me, that doesn't make me a victim, that just makes me a witness or an inactive-co-participant in as much as just being there has anything to do with the circumstance of distaste arising, giving me an opportunity to shine and influence through wisdom instead of ignorant reaction. In that way, I can help reveal the potential for higher levels of being.

 

Take my current circumstances for instance. I live with my wife and my mother in law. My mother in law has some personal issues from her history, and acts out from time to time about circumstances that are very minor, like a crumb on the stove or something, it will be an excuse for her to manifest all sorts of pent up issues and spit fire at everyone in her field of reach. That doesn't mean that I manifested this circumstance due to some sort of evil I've done in the past, this is just a play of co-creation that is too deeply complex to really simplify with solipsistic views. But, I am responsible for the level of compassion I am able to shine as activity manifest through my body as an attempt to influence the environment for the better. And you know what? The environment has calmed down over the past 2 months. We also live in a very upper class neighborhood with big houses and a heavenly surrounding, which is interesting because my mother in law keeps saying, it's like the ghetto in here. Which is really a reflection of her own inner state of mind having nothing to do with the actuality of the situation.

 

Also, just because a person has a higher capacity for spontaneous conceptual manipulation in reflection of direct insight, does not automatically make that person lost in it's show and play.

[devoid]

Nice posts and viewpoints. Thanks everybody

[fiveelementtao]

So, insight into the nature of things is intellectual masturbation and merely conceptual?

IMO and IME much of the time.. yes. So, Vaj... Nothing personal my friend, but once again your post is too long for me to read effectively and I do find your approach often times to be very intellectual. I'm happy if it works for you, and I know that forums are fun for people for this very reason, but IME many times people are just as addicted to over-intellectualizing simple concepts as some are to drugs.

 

I try to keep my spirituality as simple and practical as I can. Otherwise for me, it is a waste of valuable time and energy.

 

No offense Vaj, but I don't want to get into big debate over this...Just thought I would share my experience in case it would be helpful to others similar to myself... Take it if it helps, leave it if it doesn't.

[Vajrahridaya]

IMO and IME much of the time.. yes.

 

Insight into nature transcends the intellect. It is just expressed through the conditions of the personal intellectual capacity as a form of communication.

 

So, Vaj... Nothing personal my friend, but once again your post is too long for me to read effectively and I do find your approach often times to be very intellectual. I'm happy if it works for you, and I know that forums are fun for people for this very reason, but IME many times people are just as addicted to over-intellectualizing simple concepts as some are to drugs.

 

My approach is actually not intellectual (bolded for effect), just the expression of my findings is quite nuanced as expressed through the apparatus of the intellect. Just as the Buddhist tradition is nuanced and doesn't make intellectual, emotional or experiential excuses for ignorance, IME. I'm teasing you with that last addition.

 

I try to keep my spirituality as simple and practical as I can. Otherwise for me, it is a waste of valuable time and energy.

 

Life is not simple, though awareness of it's depths is.

 

No offense Vaj, but I don't want to get into big debate over this...Just thought I would share my experience in case it would be helpful to others similar to myself... Take it if it helps, leave it if it doesn't.

 

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[Birch]

Oh no. I find myself agreeing with VJ

 

Nice posts!

 

As I tend to see it (these days) I suspect that any 'all or nothing' perspective might be off the mark (of reality). I also agreed with H_E that self-blame/ hatred is dangerous.

 

IMO/IME in an 'everyone for themselves' culture that already teaches people to self-blame/hate, adding additional weight of responsibility for every single thing that happens to a person could (and likely does) tip some folks over the edge. Perhaps not everyone has that 'warrior' stance in life and some have been so battered by it that to suggest they chose the circumstances is IMO added cruelty and may even precipitate further illness and hardship by, ironically, the same mechanisms that might have helped them to heal and prosper.

 

The 'blame the victim' stance is not something I choose to endorse (note, that I'm not a "victim" although I might be a target sometimes.)

 

At the same time, I do believe we have some choice in how we consider our experience of any given circumstances and respond. I think that's where 'responsibility' comes in.

 

I think it also might be an easy 'set it and forget it' technique to consider that everything is manifested by oneself but IMO/IME that leaves little room for others' sovereignty and, paradoxically, their responsibility and one's own compassion towards them. I don't think I explained that last part very well so hopefully you get the idea I want to convey :-)

[manitou]

The 'blame the victim' stance is not something I choose to endorse (note, that I'm not a "victim" although I might be a target sometimes.)

 

 

 

But K - right here - if you choose to believe you are a target you are choosing to be a victim.

[Birch]

But K - right here - if you choose to believe you are a target you are choosing to be a victim.

 

 

*Sigh* - I guess I'm still not being clear enough :-) A 'target' is a person who has been chosen by someone else :-) Let's give an example taken directly from my experience so I won't offend anyone. My mother treated me pretty badly because that's the best she could do. In that sense I was a 'target' for her inability to love or treat me well enough. Not a victim. Do you see what I mean?

 

I used to blame myself for her behaviour. Now I don't care. I've seen it for what it was and I make sure I stand up to her (and some other people in the family when they act out).

[Vajrahridaya]

I see what you mean K,

 

Target is just an external circumstance, while victim is a state of mind or emotion.

[fiveelementtao]

K- let me be sure I am understanding you before I respond...

 

Are you really trying to suggest that I have "battered" others by taking responsibility for my own life? Have I really "precipitated further illness and hardship" on others by choosing to take full responsibility for my own circumstances? Have I truly "taken away someone's sovereignty" by stating that I am responsible for all the circumstances in my life?

 

If I'm hearing you right, then you're saying that the act of me taking responsibility for my life will result in more people being victimized and therefore I should become a victim too in order to prevent further misery...

 

 

 

 

 

Oh no. I find myself agreeing with VJ

 

Nice posts!

 

As I tend to see it (these days) I suspect that any 'all or nothing' perspective might be off the mark (of reality). I also agreed with H_E that self-blame/ hatred is dangerous.

 

IMO/IME in an 'everyone for themselves' culture that already teaches people to self-blame/hate, adding additional weight of responsibility for every single thing that happens to a person could (and likely does) tip some folks over the edge. Perhaps not everyone has that 'warrior' stance in life and some have been so battered by it that to suggest they chose the circumstances is IMO added cruelty and may even precipitate further illness and hardship by, ironically, the same mechanisms that might have helped them to heal and prosper.

 

The 'blame the victim' stance is not something I choose to endorse (note, that I'm not a "victim" although I might be a target sometimes.)

 

At the same time, I do believe we have some choice in how we consider our experience of any given circumstances and respond. I think that's where 'responsibility' comes in.

 

I think it also might be an easy 'set it and forget it' technique to consider that everything is manifested by oneself but IMO/IME that leaves little room for others' sovereignty and, paradoxically, their responsibility and one's own compassion towards them. I don't think I explained that last part very well so hopefully you get the idea I want to convey :-)

Edited July 14, 2011 by fiveelementtao

[Marblehead]

Wow! Some pretty deep thoughts going on right now.

 

Yes Kate, I too understand what you are referring to when you used the word 'target'. This is much more common than it should be in life.

 

I think Fiveelementtao has a misunderstanding of what Kate said but that is not for me to clarify.

 

Yes, we should take responsibility for our own actions (and manifestations) but we cannot and should not even try to take responsibility for what anyone else manifests.

 

I will add though that how our actions and manifestations effect others is, in part, our responsibility too. This gets a little deep and I don't even know if I could speak well to it.

[manitou]

My point is, would the sage define himself as a target? Would he not see the circumstances as those that are supposed to be, those which his inner self needs for further development?

 

This is at the heart of Oneness and the mindset of the sage. We're all targets all of the time, if we choose to worry about the intentions of what someone else is doing to us. If we instead look at it as part of the Whole Enchilada and realize that the very best defense is Love in each and every case, then the dynamic turns around and we have a choice of how to respond.

 

As I mentioned in an other thread, I walked in on a burglary once. Because I chose to handle it with Love rather than Fear I ended up cooking a frozen burrito for the guy and talking to him. This is what I'm talking about. Where your mind makes no distinction between good and bad, evil intent or not. Love is always the answer. I'm not saying I ended up 'loving' the burglar. I'm just saying something inside me told me to handle it at the highest level I was capable of at the time. Love seemed to dictate to cook a burrito for him.

 

Worrying about being a target of anyone is to step into paranoia. Even if they ARE out to get you, so what? Receive it with Love and turn it around as the Sage would. It's just a slightly higher level of existence. Plus, your assumptions about the intent of those around you may be wrong. First of all, folks probably don't act out of evil intent to you, K. They're probably just looking out for themselves and it rubs up against your intent or your plans.

 

The process of going in to self, self-realization, gets rid of this fear and this distinction. It really can be done. I do it every day, and it works. Take one day at a time, field everything with love, if you can stay in the mindset; if you can't stay in the mindset, there's more inner work to be done.

[fiveelementtao]

I was hoping K would respond in the hopes of stimulating a dialogue.

 

@marble...I do understand what K is saying. I am merely reflecting the unnecessary hyperbole she used to defend her position.

I don't believe for a second that K actually believes that people can cause harm or illness to others by taking responsibility for their own lives.

 

K mentioned the dynamic of feeling responsible for the behavior of others... I lived through a dysfunctional family dynamic so I can understand the co-dependent nature of feeling responsible for the dysfunction of family members. But taking responsibility for oneself is not the same as being blamed by another. I understand why some may have that reflexive reaction. But IME it is a defense mechanism.

 

However there is a HUGE difference between taking responsibility for the behavior of others and taking responsibility for one's own reactions to that behavior.

 

In terms of being a target, none can say that a child is responsible for being targeted by a parent. But once we are adults we do have a choice in terms of continuing to choose to view ourselves as a target. It is a very effective defense mechanism to continue to reinforce a perception of being targeted in order to try and counteract the abusive blame that parents often ascribe to the children they abuse. However, it is merely an extension of that same tactic when we as adults continue to blame our parents for their abusiveness. It is also a choice. Every time we relive those memories and we choose to perceive ourselves as helpless victims, we reinforce that perception. That is a choice.

 

This is one reason I firmly believe in reincarnation. Because from our limited perception there are helpless victims in this world. So, either there is a past-life karmic cause for these things or the Universe is unjust. It doesn't make sense to me that we live in an unjust Universe, so the only logical conclusion for me is to assume that there must be some past life karmic lesson that I have chosen to revisit in this life in order to learn from it.

 

It has helped me considerably is to consider that perhaps any challenges I have had in life are a result my pre-birth choice to grow in that area in this incarnation. It is very empowering to me because if I assume that it was my choice to learn this lesson, then I automatically seek to find ways to grow beyond my challenges. I view this earthly life as being a school that I have chosen to participate in. Some have chosen more difficult life lessons than others.

 

Now, I can't prove any of this is true, but ultimately I don't care because I have proven to myself in my life that simply the act of adopting the attitude of responsibility only helps me. Choosing to stay victimized does not help me. But each choice has it's downside. Choosing to stay victimized is easier but, then one tends to keep attracting scenarios of victimization and that's no fun. If the Universe is trying to help us grow past our challenges, then it only makes sense that the Universe will keep putting us into scenarios that repeat the same lessons until we choose to face them.

 

Choosing to adopt an attitude of responsibility is very empowering, BUT the downside is that one must be willing to fully face and mourn over the pain they have experienced and then one must have the bravery to overcome those challenges. That is harder than staying a victim.

 

So, regardless of the truth of these attitudes, I am only concerned with what helps me on a practical level.

 

I also believe that since we have all chosen our lot in life before we even got here, that while I can sympathize with the lot of others, I do not believe it serves them for me to join in with them in any attitudes of victimization. They will either choose to grow beyond their current state or they will not. I will do what I can to encourage those who choose to take the warrior path and grow past their challenges. If not, I will not reinforce their choice to avoid the lessons they themselves have chosen. This may seem cruel to others, but for me, it is the kindest tactic I know of...

Edited July 14, 2011 by fiveelementtao

[Otis]

There's a fairly simple thing to do if you want to see things manifest differently in your lives.

 

Every night, stop and look back over your day.

Look honestly at the part you played in everything that happened. Any arguments?

If there were arguments, what were you protecting? Your valuable opinion? Your pride?

Step aside from yourself if you can. See the event for what it really was.

Look under the event; look at your own character with no judgment, but see what dynamic it was inside of yourself that made you act that way. It's tied to something in your childhood, probably a memory with no emotion, as you've kept it under wraps emotionally.

 

If you find yourself justifying your own behavior, you haven't gone deep enough.

If you need to make an apology (after you've stopped justifying yourself), be sure you make the apology. Not an 'I'm sorry you misunderstood me' sort of apology, but a heartfelt apology and an admission that you were wrong in some way. If you still believe the other person to be partially wrong as well, let it go - don't say anthing to them about it. Let your ego eat humble pie. It'll be good for It. But usually what happens is that both people end up being pretty reciprocal about these things. If not, so much the better for the taming of your ego.

 

Once this dynamic is started, the 'going in' dynamic, it's like Spirit, or Great Spirit, or Tao, or God, or whatever you want to call it just keeps going. It's the Willingness to change and admit that our viewpoint is usually based on really selfish motives, until we get to the point where we're able to change our motives.

 

When our motives have changed, our manifestations will change.

 

It happens from the Inside Out.

This is great, Barb!