Time for some Shit !

[Stigweard]

# Taoism: Shit happens.

# Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."

# Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

# Buddhism #2: Shit happens, but only because shit happened before, but only because....

# Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.

# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?

# Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

# Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

# Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.

# Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.

# Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

# Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.

# Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.

# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

# Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

# Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.

# Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.

# Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.

# Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

# Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.

# Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.

# Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

# Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.

# Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.

# Creationism: God made all shit.

# Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.

# Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!

# Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.

# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.

# Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.

# Utopianism: This shit does not stink.

# Darwinism: This shit was once food.

# Capitalism: That's MY shit.

# Communism: It's everybody's shit.

# Feminism: Men are shit.

# Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...

# Commercialism: Let's package this shit.

# Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

# Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.

# Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.

# Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?

# Stoicism: This shit is good for me.

# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!

# Mormonism: God sent us this shit.

# Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.

# Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.

# Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.

# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?

# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

# Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.

# Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.

# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!

# Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.

# Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.

# Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.

# Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.

# Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?

# Agnostic #3: What is this shit?

# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.

# Atheism: What shit?

# Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!

# Nihilism: No shit.

# Narcisism: I am the shit!

 

------------------------------------

 

And some TaoBums shit:

 

# New Age: We take old shit and call it new shit

# New Age 2: We mixed all the shit together.

# Solipsism: I am the only shit.

# Qigong: Sink all your shit into the dan-tien.

# Qigong #2: There are three levels of shit.

# Zhan Zhuang: We shit standing up.

# Zhan Zhuang 2: Shit is happening, just stand and breathe

# Confucianism #2: Nearest shit is the warmest shit. Don't forget it.

# Martial Arts: I'll beat the shit out of you if necessary.

# Martial Arts 2: My shit can beat your shit. Oh yeah? Well take this shit!

# Tibetan Buddhism: Only chosen few can ever see us take a shit.

# Chinese Esoteric and Martial Arts: We only shit behind the closed door.

# Chinese Esoteric and Martial Arts 2: We produce the real shit, but don't ask for proof you shit!

# TTB Buddhists: all the shit depends on some other shit.

# TTB Buddhists 2: If I throw more shit then anyone else my shit must be right

# TTB "big" shot: all the shit (except my own) is arrogant.

# Modern Spiritual Teachers: This $hit ain't free.

# OSHO-ism: Your shit won't stink when you're enlightened!

# Fundie #4: When shit happens, let Jesus have it all, and whipe your butt clean!

# Fundie #5: Shit and Satan are one and the same!

# Jiddu Krishnamurti - There is no path through all of this shit.

# UG Krishnamurti - Enlightenment is shit

# Shakespeare: To shit or not to shit, that is the question.

# Mantak Chia: Tighten your asshole and hold that shit.

# Fundie Taoism: We are going to exorcise that shit right out of you!

# Fundie Taoism 2: If your shit doesn't have robes then it isn't shit.

# Zeitgeist: This shit has got to go! (Amen to that)

# Gender discussions on TaoBums: We can only talk about this shit in the pit.

# Girls: They take shits too!

# Princessism: Women don't shit, they delicately excrete!

# Maleism: We can only take one shit at a time

# Satanism 2: We made this shit happen! lets shit some more!

# Zen: before enlightment: chop wood, take a shit. After enlightment: chop wood, take a shit

# Democrat: There is enough shit to go around.

# Republican: Shit happens because it can.

# Independant: It may be shit but its my own.

# Communist: You cant have the good shit.

# Socialist: Only the government can have the good shit.

# Anarchist: Shit happens because we make it happen.

# Christian: Shit happens because we are sinners.

# Jehovah's Witnesses: The shit always gets brighter.

# Jainism: We feel like shit if we kill mosquitos.

# Hatha Yoga: I'm tied in knots, I can't shit.

# Laozi: Talking about shit is not the real shit

# Laozi 2: If they think "We did this shit" you're a good leader

# Zhuangzi: Maybe I am just dreaming this shit

# Ramana Maharshi: Who is it that shits?

# Battlestar Galactica: All this shit has happened before, and all this shit will happen again.

# Mahamudra: Rest in shit.

# Descartes: I shit therefore I.....Stink????

# Bruce Lee: don't think... Shit

# Qui-Gon Jinn: Shit... don't think

# Aryuvedic medicine : Now eat your shit!

 

 

 

And some personal shit:

 

# GIH-ism #1: All the shit is intentional.

# GIH-ism #2: Beliefs are shit.

# GIH-ism #3: Different types of shit come in, but only one shit comes out.

# Steve: You can't gain anymore shit than you have, you just need to be more aware of shit happening

# Marblehead: This is purely objective shit

# Marblehead 2: Nothing more to this shit than just shit

# mjjbecker: If the shit knew how to self-moderate we wouldn't have all this other shit

# Stigweard: I am sooo going to get a star for this shit! ★★★

# Mod Team: Get that shit outta here!

# Mod Team 2: Have 7 days off to think about your shit

# Mod Team 3: Please be respectful when flinging your shit

Edited August 19, 2011 by Stigweard

[C T]

How did you forget the New Agers, Stig?

 

Nouvelle shitz, perhaps?

 

And Vmarco? Undivided shit? :lol:

[Stigweard]

How did you forget the New Agers, Stig?

 

Nouvelle shitz, perhaps?

 

And Vmarco? Undivided shit? :lol:

# New Age: We take old shit and call it new shit

 

 

[goldisheavy]

Solipsism: I am the only shit.

 

New Age: We mixed all the shit together.

 

GIH-ism #1: All the shit is intentional.

GIH-ism #2: Beliefs are shit.

GIH-ism #3: Different types of shit come in, but only one shit comes out.

 

Qigong: Sink all your shit into the dan-tien.

Qigong #2: There are three levels of shit.

 

Zhan Zhuang: We shit standing up.

 

Confucianism #2: Nearest shit is the warmest shit. Don't forget it.

 

Martial Arts: I'll beat the shit out of you if necessary.

 

Tibetan Buddhism: Only chosen few can ever see us take a shit.

 

Chinese Esoteric and Martial Arts: We only shit behind the closed door.

 

TTB Buddhists: all the shit depends on some other shit.

 

TTB "big" shot: all the shit (except my own) is arrogant.

 

Modern Spiritual Teachers: This $hit ain't free.

Edited August 18, 2011 by goldisheavy

[C T]

Solipsism: I am the only shit.

 

New Age: We mixed all the shit together.

 

GIH-ism #1: All the shit is intentional.

GIH-ism #2: Beliefs are shit.

GIH-ism #3: Different types of shit come in, but only one shit comes out.

 

Qigong: Sink all your shit into the dan-tien.

Qigong #2: There are three levels of shit.

 

Zhan Zhuang: We shit standing up.

 

Confucianism #2: Nearest shit is the warmest shit. Don't forget it.

 

Martial Arts: I'll beat the shit out of you if necessary.

 

Tibetan Buddhism: Only chosen few can ever see us take a shit.

 

Chinese Esoteric and Martial Arts: We only shit behind the closed door.

 

TTB Buddhists: all the shit depends on some other shit.

 

TTB "big" shot: all the shit (except my own) is arrogant.

 

Modern Spiritual Teachers: This $hit ain't free.

:lol:

[Cat Pillar]

# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.

 

I thought they all were good, but I just about lost it at this.

 

Having known many satanists...it's so true.

[Thunder_Gooch]

 

 

New Agers: Woah dude this shit is deep, I read this book now I can activate the 8th octave of my pineal glad by gargling with crystal enhanced moon water dude... I'm high as shit, let's smoke some reefer man it's the shit...

yeah dude maybe if I spin around in circles and read books on tai chi I can like transcend space and time or some shit man.

Edited August 18, 2011 by More_Pie_Guy

[宁]

OSHO-ism: Your shit won't stink when you're enlightened!

 

Fundie #4: When shit happens, let Jesus have it all, and whipe your butt clean!

 

Fundie #5: Shit and Satan are one and the same!

Edited August 18, 2011 by Little1

[doc benway]

Jiddu Krishnamurti - There is no path through all of this shit.

UG Krishnamurti - Enlightenment is shit

 

 

Stig - this may be my only opportunity so I'm going to take full advantage of it.

I had no idea you are so full of shit!

 

[3bob]

I've only been skimming the shit here but I don't think I saw a:

 

To shit or not to shit, that is the question.

[Apech]

Mantak Chia : Tighten your asshole and hold that shit.

 

(?) Maybe

[Stigweard]

Jiddu Krishnamurti - There is no path through all of this shit.

UG Krishnamurti - Enlightenment is shit

 

 

Stig - this may be my only opportunity so I'm going to take full advantage of it.

I had no idea you are so full of shit!

 

 

Steve: You can't gain anymore shit than you have, you just need to be more aware of shit happening

 

[Stigweard]

I am sooo going to keep the OP updated with all new contributions

 

[Stigweard]

# Stigweard: I am sooo going to get a star for this shit! ★★★

[Stigweard]

# Marblehead: This is purely objective shit

# Marblehead 2: Nothing more to this shit than just shit

# mjjbecker: If the shit knew how to self-moderate we wouldn't have all this other shit

 

[Stigweard]

# Mod Team: Get that shit outta here!

# Mod Team 2: Have 7 days off to think about your shit

 

[Stigweard]

# Mod Team: Get that shit outta here!

# Mod Team 2: Have 7 days off to think about your shit

 

# Fundie Taoism: We are going to exorcise that shit right out of you!

# Fundie Taoism 2: If your shit doesn't have robes then it isn't shit.

 

[ChiDragon]

Do we really need this shitty thread. Don't you think we are just wasting cyberspace....????

[suninmyeyes]

No we are just shitting in the cyberspace.

[Aetherous]

# ChiDragon: Speaks, doesn't know shit.

[ChiDragon]

# ChiDragon: Speaks, doesn't know shit.

 

I know you, Scotty.

Edited August 18, 2011 by ChiDragon

[Apech]

Aryuvedic medicine : Now eat your shit!

[Stigweard]

Do we really need this shitty thread. Don't you think we are just wasting cyberspace....????

Perhaps this shit is teaching you that all shit is equal. Is this little pile any more or less valuable then any of the other piles left around the forum or cyberspace ??

 

And a bit of humourous levity may be just the shit we need at the moment yes?

 

[Mal]

Please be respectful when flinging your shit

 

 

^THAT IS NOT INTENDED AS MODERATOR MESSAGE

(just incase)

[Aetherous]

I know you, Scotty.

 

We know eachother. But I wasn't trying to offend you...just using your signature in a humorous way. My apologies if you took it personally.

 

# Scotty: Likes to talk shit.