Friendship

[ffvii]

What would a Tao cultivator call a friend?

[doc benway]

A person with whom I share confidence, respect, and trust.

[Marblehead]

A person with whom I share confidence, respect, and trust.

 

Nice answer.

 

How about a person who will disagree with me when they think I am wrong or mistaken?

[ChiDragon]

Nice answer.

 

How about a person who will disagree with me when they think I am wrong or mistaken?

 

I disagree and you are wrong or mistaken.

Everyone is a friend to a Taoist Cultivator.....

[Harmonious Emptiness]

 

 

From: Redoubled Yang's Fifteen Discourses, trans. Komjathy

 

"Followers of the Dao join together as companions because they

can assist each other in sickness and disease. “If you die, I'll

bury you; if I die, you'll bury me.”

 

Therefore, you must first choose the right person and only then

join with that person as a companion. Do not join with someone

first and then consider him as a person.

 

Once this is accomplished, do not become overly attached to

each other. Attachment between people ensnares the

heart-mind.

 

At the same time, do not remain completely without attachment.

A complete lack of attachment will cause your feelings to

diverge. You should find a middle way between attachment and

non-attachment.

 

There are three kinds of people with whom you should join and

three whom you should avoid. Join those with an illuminated

heart-mind, wisdom, or strong determination. Avoid those who

are ignorant concerning external projections of the heart-mind,

who lack wisdom and are turbid in innate nature, or who lack

determination and are inclined to quarrel.

 

When establishing yourself in a monastery, completely accord

with your own heart-mind and aspirations. Do not just follow

your emotions or trust the outer appearance of others. Only

choose the elevated and illumined. This is the supreme method.

 

 

My own 2 cents: It's very important not to think that we're better than other people when making new acquaintances

Edited August 20, 2011 by Harmonious Emptiness

[thelerner]

Nice answer.

 

How about a person who will disagree with me when they think I am wrong or mistaken?

 

I thought you got enough of that here on the bums

[Marblehead]

I thought you got enough of that here on the bums

 

Hehehe. Oh!, I get plenty, don't I? But then that is why I feel I have so many friends here. (Hey!, every now and then someone actually agrees with me. That's actually sad in a way because that pretty much ends the conversation.)

[ChiDragon]

Rainbow_Vein...

The prerequisite for a Taoist cultivator is not to have any enemy.....

[Marblehead]

Good going Rainbow and Dragon.

 

I have a personal philosophy I try hard to hold to and that is, every person I meet is a potential friend. After that, what will be will be.

[ChiDragon]

Good going Rainbow and Dragon.

 

I have a personal philosophy I try hard to hold to and that is, every person I meet is a potential friend. After that, what will be will be.

 

After that, what will be will be. However, you don't have to treat him as the "last" will be. One may be treating you as an enemy. In your mind, you may still respect him as your friend but stay at a distance away from him......

[Marblehead]

After that, what will be will be. However, you don't have to treat him as the "last" will be. One may be treating you as an enemy. In your mind, you may still respect him as your friend but stay at a distance away from him......

 

Hehehe. Naw. I have never been able to do that. My logic just doesn't allow me to treat my enemy as if s/he were my friend.

[Apech]

"Opposition is true friendship"

William Blake (Marriage of Heaven and Hell)

 

[Friend]

Edited November 16, 2011 by Friend

[Marblehead]

"Opposition is true friendship"

William Blake (Marriage of Heaven and Hell)

 

 

There are limits, my dear friend. Hehehe.

 

Yes Apech, there are limits in the Manifest universe. An orange can never be an apple.

[Apech]

There are limits, my dear friend. Hehehe.

 

Yes Apech, there are limits in the Manifest universe. An orange can never be an apple.

 

Never heard of Cox's Orange Pippin ... tis an apple!!!!

 

[Mal]

I wish it was cold enough to grow apples here...without actually being cold

 

Hehehe. Naw. I have never been able to do that. My logic just doesn't allow me to treat my enemy as if s/he were my friend.

 

Verse 2 Hua Hu Ching

 

Men and women who wish to be aware of the whole truth should adopt the practices of the Integral Way. These time-honored disciplines calm the mind and bring one into harmony with all things. The first practice is the practice of undiscriminating virtue: take care of those who are deserving; also, and equally, take care of those who are not. When you extend your virtue in all directions without discriminating, your feet are firmly planted on the path that returns to the Tao.

 

So difficult, but I feel it's a rewarding practice. Even if I don't always acheive it it's what I aim to do.

[Marblehead]

Never heard of Cox's Orange Pippin ... tis an apple!!!!

 

 

Yep. Just goes to show the value of labels. You can call it an orange but it is still an apple.

 

WoW! I seem to have gotten really optimistic in this thread, haven't I? Hehehe.

[konchog uma]

So difficult, but I feel it's a rewarding practice. Even if I don't always acheive it it's what I aim to do.

 

yeah thats difficult indeed. but the way of the planet is to grow food and shelter for us no matter what it thinks of our personal character, and the way of the spirit is to be omnipresent, not there for some but not for others.

 

unconditional virtue is something i am working on right now and it is SO hard at first

[Z3N]

Everyone and anyone is a friend of the Tao. Because how can it not be when are you are looking at the reflection of Tao, you. If they chose to disconnect then that is there illusional state of purpose that they wish to aspire. The Tao is the oneness. All is one. Really your best friend is Tao! Hahahahaha!

Edited September 1, 2011 by Z3N

[thelerner]

What would a Tao cultivator call a friend?

The rising sun

my zafu

my coffee mug

 

[Sloppy Zhang]

After that, what will be will be. However, you don't have to treat him as the "last" will be. One may be treating you as an enemy. In your mind, you may still respect him as your friend but stay at a distance away from him......

 

Hehehe. Naw. I have never been able to do that. My logic just doesn't allow me to treat my enemy as if s/he were my friend.

 

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

 

It's a tricky subject. "Friend" and "enemy" are such broad terms with many different connotations. There are people who I have met who were "adversarial" towards me, they were in "opposition" to me, but we could each look each other in the eye and respect the accomplishments that we each had.

 

Then there are "enemies" who want to see you suffering and in pain. They need to be removed before they hurt you or someone close to you.

 

Then there are people who just won't like you for whatever reason, and they'll avoid you like the plague and you'll never know why

 

Likewise, "friend" is a very broad subject. I've been told I'm very "popular", that I have lots of "friends". I can count the number of people who I can trust with my life, my loved ones, and my secrets on one hand. Then I have many "allies", people who I am "brothers in arms" with. "Comrades". We can rely on each other as far as our goals are concerned. Beyond that? We have no use for that. We don't know friends or family of the other, we don't know the hometown. We just know that we are both very good at what we do, and we get down to business.

 

Then you got those "friends in low places" as the song goes. "Reliable" in that "shady" kind of sense. Honor amongst thieves? I dunno, because you never trust them farther than you can throw them But it's always nice to have someone who won't mind getting their hands a little dirty. Go do crazy things that your "clean" friends won't do.

 

And then you got the lovers 'nuff said.

 

I wouldn't say that I have a "hierarchy", but I will say that I am pretty damn compartmental in my friends. Some of my "friends in low places" know things about me that my "friends in high (?) places" will never know. Lovers know things about me that allies don't. They're all friends just... different

 

Is this a Taoist view of friendship? Eh, I dunno. Each friend has their own season. Each friend is perfect for their situation, but they would be terribly imperfect if they were thrust into a different scenario. I like to think that the sage would be friends with everyone, but would be/have the right friend for the right job.

 

I don't lie to myself and think that I'm the central friend to anybody's existence I'm just a layer in someone else's hierarchy of friends- go to guy, confidant, rabble rouser, etc etc.

 

"Opposition is true friendship"

William Blake (Marriage of Heaven and Hell)

 

Some of my best friends and I have some of the most bitter disagreements you'll ever hear (about things large and small). We've had some pretty epic, knockdown, drag out debates/arguments. We cleared out a restaurant when we got into a debate/argument about something. We finally stopped, and the manager told us to leave. Then we looked at each other and lol'd. The manager was like "wtf?" We tipped huge and left, and to this day we make joking references about it Aaaaaaaaand we also never bring up that topic in conversation

Edited September 5, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[Marblehead]

Nice post Sloppy.

 

I just wanted to highlight this:

 

"Then there are "enemies" who want to see you suffering and in pain. They need to be removed before they hurt you or someone close to you."

 

But then, there are the friends who you can trust, without question, to watch your back.

[ChiDragon]

Nice post Sloppy.

 

I just wanted to highlight this:

 

"Then there are "enemies" who want to see you suffering and in pain. They need to be removed before they hurt you or someone close to you."

 

But then, there are the friends who you can trust, without question, to watch your back.

 

Just be aware who's around you, friends or foes, they can stab a knife into your back. You are always aware of your enemies but not your friends. However, a friend can turn into an enemy due to some personal gains or conflicts.

Edited September 11, 2011 by ChiDragon

[Rainy]

I think, when we evoke the concept of friendship, in the same time we evoke that of enmity. The One is the answer, so for a taoist not friendship or enmity exist, he is peace with himself and with the whole.

[zanshin]

I feel like all are friends, while having less traditional bonded friends. I really do like most people on an individual basis. Oh, so-and-so is great, I love them, umm...I really don't them very well Seems like people float in and out of my life, I enjoy them while they're around and then they're off my radar. I'll help people out and do social things when asked and it fits my schedule, but I don't really seek people out. Find I don't really get into social events, interactions with individuals or small groups are great, noise and crowds I drift off somewhere to go look at the sky. Maybe I should make more nature loving friends, but nature already is my best friend.