ffvii Posted August 23, 2011 OK so i had a girlfriend a while back and she completely broke my heart but i still love her anyway and we've been friends and now she wants to get back together and i want to but it seems like i'm just being weak by doing that. so What would a Tao cultivator think about and do in this situation? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stigweard Posted August 23, 2011 OK so i had a girlfriend a while back and she completely broke my heart but i still love her anyway and we've been friends and now she wants to get back together and i want to but it seems like i'm just being weak by doing that. so What would a Tao cultivator think about and do in this situation? Hmmm ... remember to breathe, and don't ask silly questions. Seriously, just breathe, ask yourself internally, "Does this path have heart". Then act conclusively on the response that arises from within. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted August 23, 2011 OK so i had a girlfriend a while back and she completely broke my heart but i still love her anyway and we've been friends and now she wants to get back together and i want to but it seems like i'm just being weak by doing that. so What would a Tao cultivator think about and do in this situation? "i want to but it seems like i'm just being weak by doing that." What ever that means, the problem is in you. If you can get this weakness resolved, you got yourself a girl friend. A Taoist cultivator always will give someone a chance and another, then another.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
konchog uma Posted August 23, 2011 OK so i had a girlfriend a while back and she completely broke my heart but i still love her anyway and we've been friends and now she wants to get back together and i want to but it seems like i'm just being weak by doing that. so What would a Tao cultivator think about and do in this situation? daoism isn't full of rules, so much as it is full of encouragement to engage the discriminating mind and see what is best to do in each situation as it arises. if you have conflicting ideas (i should, i shouldn't...) then as stigweard said, follow the path with heart. that is the best all around advice for living a life that is true to yourself, and comes from many different and unrelated traditions. it isn't always the "path of least resistance" which is often cited as a daoist ideal by lazy people, sometimes it is the harder path or the high road. a dao cultivator might meditate on it, and more deeply observe why they both wanted something and didn't want it. in your case you might want the romantic companionship of the woman in question, but you might also not want to get hurt again. i recommend just sitting with these ideas quietly and opening your spirit to the great spirit, letting its guidance in. pleasure and pain seem to be a yin-yang pair and its hard to let someone into your life without putting them in a position to really hurt you. the balance is a good reminder not to hold on too tight, and not to let go too easily, but find a gentle middle ground. good luck to you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted August 23, 2011 OK so i had a girlfriend a while back and she completely broke my heart but i still love her anyway and we've been friends and now she wants to get back together and i want to but it seems like i'm just being weak by doing that. so What would a Tao cultivator think about and do in this situation? Yeah, go for it. The second heart-break isn't nearly as bad as the first one was. (At least that was my experience.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff Posted August 23, 2011 OK so i had a girlfriend a while back and she completely broke my heart but i still love her anyway and we've been friends and now she wants to get back together and i want to but it seems like i'm just being weak by doing that. so What would a Tao cultivator think about and do in this situation? No one can break your heart but you. The key is to first learn to accept yourself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
penfold Posted August 23, 2011 Dunno what a Doaist would do. But here's my thoughts. Companionship and love are two things that cleave close to who we are. If she makes you happy then take her back, weakness be damned. Life's too short to be worrying about perception. In the long run you might get hurt but that's part of the game, no relationship is free of that risk. Above all be honest with yourself, don't let your ego get in the way of happiness. Best of luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Harmonious Emptiness Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) The I Ching can be very helpful in times like these. It may not tell you do, but it might provide some other things to consider in finding your answer. Do you have a copy? If you want, I'll check it out for you... take 3 pennies and roll them together 6 times. write down, for each roll, how many were heads and how many were tails and let us know.. if you dare, uahhahahahahhahah no really, I don't know of any possible harm this could do. It's supposedly more correct to have someone else roll them for you, but since nobody knows you here there's probably better accuracy for you do it yourself. Just be sure that you are reasonably well grounded when you roll them, and thinking about the broad issue. If you're not grounded when asking, you might find the advice will not speak directly to the question. The I Ching is generally just useful advice for any situation, but it can often seem incredibly specific if you're listening "from the gut." Edited August 24, 2011 by Harmonious Emptiness Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
