Why do you measure yourself by others' standards?

[tulku]

Why do you measure yourself by others' standards?

 

Is social recognition that important?

 

Why is it important to have friends?

 

Are friends that important?

 

Is it a sin not to have any friends?

 

If you do not have any friends, does that mean you are an unworthy person?

 

Is this why you measure yourself by others' standards?

 

Do you only feel worthy if others think you are worthy?

[tulku]

If others think you are unsuccessful, why would you feel bad?

 

If others think you are unattractive, why would you feel bad?

 

If others think no men or women like you, why would you feel bad?

 

If others think you are fat, why would you feel bad?

 

If your family or parents disapprove your lifestyle, why would you feel bad?

 

If others think you are uncool, why would you feel bad?

 

Is it because you have never gotten past the nightmares in your High School?

 

Do you feel you are unworthy just because you weren't part of the "in" or "cool" crowd?

[tulku]

Who has the right to determine you are unworthy?

 

Do your masters and teachers have the right to determine you are unworthy?

 

Do your parents and siblings have the right to determine you are unworthy?

 

Do your spouses and children have the right to determine you are unworthy?

 

Do your friends and colleagues have the right to determine you are unworthy?

 

Does Tulku have the right to determine you are unworthy?

 

Do you have the sole right to determine you are worthy or unworthy?

Edited August 26, 2011 by tulku

[tulku]

[tulku]

Do you think it is necessary to have a successful career because your parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, colleagues, neighbors, media, government, the whole world think it is necessary for a human to have a successful career to be complete?

 

Do you think it is necessary to have a loving marriage because your parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, colleagues, neighbors, media, government, the whole world think it is necessary for a human to have a loving marriage to be complete?

 

Do you think it is necessary to have children because your parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, colleagues, neighbors, media, government, the whole world think it is necessary for a human to have a children to be complete?

 

Do you think it is necessary to have friends and respect of your peers i.e. social recognition because your parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, colleagues, neighbors, media, government, the whole world think it is necessary for a human to have friends and respect of your peers i.e. social recognition to be complete?

 

Why do you give your parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, colleagues, neighbors, media, government, the whole world the right to judge if you are a complete human or not?

[tulku]

No one in the world has the right to acknowledge you or judge you.

 

Only the Creator has the right to judge you or acknowledge you.

 

You become a leader not because the rest of the world acknowledged or voted you in.

 

You become a leader because the Creator deem it to be so.

[Enishi]

Even if one is able to see through the falsehood of self-esteem based on social validation and going along with the group, it's still part of your inner programming. If you try to fight it you will just make it worse. It's better to satisfy such needs to some degree when young, that way it will gradually fade as you develop. I find that neikung and meditation helps quicken and smooth out such processes.

[Ish]

Hi Tulku.

Do you live with this mindset completely, are you unafflicted by these things?

Were you popular, had lots of friends etc during school?

I appreciate if you don't want to answer, but based on what you write you don't care anyway so it shouldn't be a problem.

[tulku]

Hi Tulku.

Do you live with this mindset completely, are you unafflicted by these things?

Were you popular, had lots of friends etc during school?

I appreciate if you don't want to answer, but based on what you write you don't care anyway so it shouldn't be a problem.

 

I was popular and I was unpopular.

 

I had lots of friends and I had very little friends.

 

I had lots of women and I had no women.

 

I stood at both ends of the polarity and I was still very much completely alone then.

 

Not lonely but alone.

 

Now I am comfortable very comfortable with being alone.

 

I understand now it is part of every human's nature because when you are the Void, you are completely peacefully blissfully alone.

 

Yes I am completely unaffected now. Very happy in fact.

[tulku]

Even if one is able to see through the falsehood of self-esteem based on social validation and going along with the group, it's still part of your inner programming. If you try to fight it you will just make it worse. It's better to satisfy such needs to some degree when young, that way it will gradually fade as you develop. I find that neikung and meditation helps quicken and smooth out such processes.

 

So you do acknowledge the hidden forces creating the inner programming in us.

 

Only weak humans fall to such inner programming.

 

The strong humans override such inner programming as easily as breathing air.

 

Meditation does help a lot in fighting off such inner programming.

 

That and Kundalini Forces in your Pineal Gland which I am currently doing right now.

 

From now on, I will not even give a single moment of relief to the inner programming.

 

Every moment, every breadth, every thought I will put my soul and heart into fighting the demons.

 

They will know who are the true gods in the end.

[Ish]

I was popular and I was unpopular.

 

I had lots of friends and I had very little friends.

 

I had lots of women and I had no women.

 

I stood at both ends of the polarity and I was still very much completely alone then.

 

Not lonely but alone.

 

Now I am comfortable very comfortable with being alone.

 

I understand now it is part of every human's nature because when you are the Void, you are completely peacefully blissfully alone.

 

Yes I am completely unaffected now. Very happy in fact.

 

Cool. I understand what you are saying, some people think that if you cut off the desires (even for "positive" things like friends, wealth, a partner etc) with training that you become dead or dull inside. However in my experience it just opens the way to a deeper happiness not dependant on conditions. You can become more compassionate and stable.

[LBDaoist]

It is a self preservation mechanism. Those who are cast out from society are left to fend for themselves. We are all one. The purpose of life is to perpetuate itself, and to do that requires being with others. Now sure, you could go hermit styles by yourself but in the end, that would be the unnatural path.

[tulku]

Cool. I understand what you are saying, some people think that if you cut off the desires (even for "positive" things like friends, wealth, a partner etc) with training that you become dead or dull inside. However in my experience it just opens the way to a deeper happiness not dependant on conditions. You can become more compassionate and stable.

 

who determine what is positive? what is negative? you? me?

 

who determine what is dead? what is dull? you? me?

 

but you do have to let the human ego die, that one i agree with the upmost ferventness

 

the hidden forces have ruined my life and distracted me with the false so much that i had been severely punished..

 

never again shall i fall..

 

payback will be a bitch..

 

the worst enemy you can have is one with nothing to lose..

[tulku]

It is a self preservation mechanism. Those who are cast out from society are left to fend for themselves. We are all one. The purpose of life is to perpetuate itself, and to do that requires being with others. Now sure, you could go hermit styles by yourself but in the end, that would be the unnatural path.

 

this is why i say the masses are afraid of death..

 

one can only truly reached liberation if one embrace death as lovingly as one embrace one's soul mate..

 

you are afraid to die, so you cling onto society, even if that society rots you from inside out..

 

clinging onto society is the unnatural path..

 

the only natural path is to live a hermit's life for in the end, everybody would be a hermit when they die..

 

everybody dies alone..

 

everybody has to accept that death is an solitary path which everyone has to face in the end..

[Small Fur]

this is why i say the masses are afraid of death..

 

one can only truly reached liberation if one embrace death as lovingly as one embrace one's soul mate..

 

you are afraid to die, so you cling onto society, even if that society rots you from inside out..

 

clinging onto society is the unnatural path..

 

the only natural path is to live a hermit's life for in the end, everybody would be a hermit when they die..

 

everybody dies alone..

 

everybody has to accept that death is an solitary path which everyone has to face in the end..

 

Tulku,

 

There are many forms and layers to what you call 'death'. To simplify the concept by using an amplified word without understanding it could be misleading. One cannot 'embrace' absence, per se, for it isn't there to be had. So, the rush to attach oneself to 'death' is an illusion, especially also because death is not separable from life. This is true of all forms of cycles, including the mystical and the spiritual. Having died many times over and across many layers, I can tell you, it is rather simple and nothing so spectacular. In fact, it is as death is: non-eventful. And yet, therein lies the potential for the profound. 'Death' is the step into 'life', and 'life' is a path to 'death'- it is not an escape to and from anything, but rather a rhythm of breath and continuation.

 

Having read many of your posts now, I really appreciate how strong and dedicated you are to transcending the misery you feel inside. And I sense that in your desperation and fervor to escape what has pained you, you have embroiled yourself in a battle that cannot be 'won' through might, but rather that your actual path will come through surrender, calm, and grace.

 

Have the courage to rage, scream and cry your heart out about what has wounded you so deeply, and then let what is left, be the grace that carries you through… to the actual peace you need. My warm regards to you, Mila

Edited August 26, 2011 by Small Fur

[tulku]

[Stigweard]

The battle shalt be won through the Might and Grace of the Creator.

Unless of course there is no "creator" and then you are royally screwed

[Stigweard]

Tulku,

 

There are many forms and layers to what you call 'death'. To simplify the concept by using an amplified word without understanding it could be misleading. One cannot 'embrace' absence, per se, for it isn't there to be had. So, the rush to attach oneself to 'death' is an illusion, especially also because death is not separable from life. This is true of all forms of cycles, including the mystical and the spiritual. Having died many times over and across many layers, I can tell you, it is rather simple and nothing so spectacular. In fact, it is as death is: non-eventful. And yet, therein lies the potential for the profound. 'Death' is the step into 'life', and 'life' is a path to 'death'- it is not an escape to and from anything, but rather a rhythm of breath and continuation.

I loooove compost

[Green Tiger]

Can you bite your teeth? Lick your tongue? See the space behind your eyes?

 

 

. . . actually . . . I kind of can lick my tongue. Hmmmm.

[Non]

well I guess it's because most people are biochemically wired to depend on human contact. Not just that but a relationship with the opposite sex.

 

It has to do with oxytocin. You're "supposed" to feel uncomfortable without contact with another human being and/or celibate.

 

I truly don't know how monks do it but....

 

my eyes are open. DO you think all buddhist monks can withold their urges and desires? I read somewhere that buddhist monks can still masturbate and even have sexual relations with other monks in the temple behind closed doors.

 

So what about Taoist monks? In a video documentary I saw, a Daoist monk said the practice of tai chi can make up for not living in socially.

 

I'm not sure how that works. If one can use tai chi to sublimate to sexual energy that would be awesome. But one can say just about any good hard and focused work can somewhat transmute the sexual energy. Tai chi though works with yin and yang so it might work on a deeper level.

 

But even if so, research has shown that a good relationship between man and woman is far more rewarding than hard work at easting depression among other things.

Edited August 26, 2011 by Non

[tulku]

well I guess it's because most people are biochemically wired to depend on human contact. Not just that but a relationship with the opposite sex.

 

It has to do with oxytocin. You're "supposed" to feel uncomfortable without contact with another human being and/or celibate.

 

I truly don't know how monks do it but....

 

my eyes are open. DO you think all buddhist monks can withold their urges and desires? I read somewhere that buddhist monks can still masturbate and even have sexual relations with other monks in the temple behind closed doors.

 

So what about Taoist monks? In a video documentary I saw, a Daoist monk said the practice of tai chi can make up for not living in socially.

 

I'm not sure how that works. If one can use tai chi to sublimate to sexual energy that would be awesome. But one can say just about any good hard and focused work can somewhat transmute the sexual energy. Tai chi though works with yin and yang so it might work on a deeper level.

 

But even if so, research has shown that a good relationship between man and woman is far more rewarding than hard work at easting depression among other things.

 

research has shown that samadhi is far more rewarding than any relationship - man/woman, parent/child, etc or any other efforts at easing sadness..

 

chasing after happiness is the main reason why humans fall into hardships.. when you chase after a mate, career, family, children, etc etc.. you will definitely fall into hardships..

 

this is why the ancient masters have always advised us to tame our desires.

 

because our desires are not our own..

 

our desires are artificial external feelings created by higher dimensional external forces who are using us as a food/energy supply via our emotions/thoughts etc..

 

to stop being a food supply, you just have to start your mind to cull away your desires

Edited August 26, 2011 by tulku

[LBDaoist]

everybody has to accept that death is an solitary path which everyone has to face in the end..

 

Then what?

 

It seems to me that you are proposing a disdain for society simply because we all die eventually.

[LBDaoist]

chasing after happiness is the main reason why humans fall into hardships.. when you chase after a mate, career, family, children, etc etc.. you will definitely fall into hardships..

 

No matter what you do, or choose not to do, you will fall into hardships. Just as life will bring you joy, it will also bring you sorrow. It will bring you success, and then moments later bring you failure. You will be high and you will be low.

[tulku]

No matter what you do, or choose not to do, you will fall into hardships. Just as life will bring you joy, it will also bring you sorrow. It will bring you success, and then moments later bring you failure. You will be high and you will be low.

 

All the material objectives in life will give one hardships but there is no permanent reward.

 

Only the all-important objective of attaining samadhi and enlightenment will give one an ever-lasting reward even after one's death.

Edited August 26, 2011 by tulku

[Green Tiger]

What would be really awesome is if tigers grew wings and developed the ability to have like . . . 2 dozen offspring per year . . . and rhino skin!

 

That would be something to compare to, or get eaten by.

 

Probably the latter. Your social insecurities would seem pretty f*%king pointless when the flying tiger rhinos coming swooping down out of the sky.

 

Maybe they should breathe fire to . . . too much?