Difficult People

[ffvii]

Okay so i have this friend that is slightly crazy and he is encountering some problems in life that i can relate to so i try to help him but he dismisses everything i say he doesn't think that anything i say related to him at all because he is "insane" he says that i cant understand anything that he goes through. he is having a problem with this girl that was the exact same as what happened to me (learning the harsh truth from an unreliable source) and i told him what i went through and he just dismissed it. how can i reach out and help these kind of people?

[Pietro]

Okay so i have this friend that is slightly crazy and he is encountering some problems in life that i can relate to so i try to help him but he dismisses everything i say he doesn't think that anything i say related to him at all because he is "insane" he says that i cant understand anything that he goes through. he is having a problem with this girl that was the exact same as what happened to me (learning the harsh truth from an unreliable source) and i told him what i went through and he just dismissed it. how can i reach out and help these kind of people?

 

You can't.

 

Hexagram 4 describes this situation.

[Marblehead]

You can't.

 

Hexagram 4 describes this situation.

 

I agree but know nothing about hexagram 4.

[konchog uma]

you can only really help people who want to be helped. if your friend just wants to complain and feel that nobody understands him, he won't be open to help, even if you spell it out for him in gold letters five times. it won't matter.

 

also, i've read that if you want to influence people you should listen 90% of the time and talk 10%. not that influencing people is awesome, but sometimes you can do it for their own betterment. helping people is awesome, but they have to be available to help in the first place.

[doc benway]

I think the best way to help them is to simply be a friend. Lend support and encouragement when needed, offer advice when asked for, show them they are being foolish, hurtful, or self-destructive when appropriate. But if you try to change them or expect them to see things the way you do, you're bound to be frustrated and disappointed. And it is not in your power to spare them pain. A good friend is like a mirror - they show us the way we look to others rather than ourselves. Not everyone is looking for a friend like this, however.

[Sloppy Zhang]

You can't.

 

Exactly.

 

That's not to say you shouldn't do what you can. But don't overreach yourself trying to help someone who is either beyond help, or is unwilling to accept help. You're only going to hurt yourself, and then two people will be in a mess.

 

Give advice, offer help, and if they don't want it, let them work it out in their own way.

[Mal]

you can only really help people who want to be helped.

You saved me typing "My Sifu often said"

 

I think the best way to help them is to simply be a friend.

 

Yes. Sometimes we try too much to "fix and help" rather than just "hear and empathise"

 

While there is nothing wrong with relating a similar situation of your own and how you got through it. It wasn't the same situation, only similar, and if

he says that i cant understand anything that he goes through.

that's an indication he may well be looking more for understanding and empathy than solutions/suggestions.

[RiverSnake]

It can be difficult to help others directly. I second steves sentiment you help those whom are ready.

 

A less direct way of assisting others is through prayer. Create a prayer that you say daily for your friend. "May my friend find peace and clarity"...etc

 

My 2 cents, Peace

[Pietro]

but know nothing about hexagram 4.

 

Ok, I'm officially surprised