What is it called when....?

[Ambrose_Bierce]

I am faced with a dilemma. If I act, it seems like my action retain a certain strange quality that could be misunderstood negatively though I am aware.

 

I have caught myself many more times today almost slipping up and making a misteak. Earlier I talked with a friend and told an off-color joke. The friend was slightly offended. Later I made amends.

 

Please share your experiences. Peace - AB

[de_paradise]

Yeah, I have found myself shockingly grumpy or selfish sometimes when dealing with people, which is completely different from the peace and bliss of meditations, or how I think I would act or want to act, with compassion. I feel its programmed behavior that has to be programmed out, but it takes some dillegence and effort to break one's own behavioral patterns, deepset and subconscious ones too. Even by working with the energy body and reaching new spiritual levels, this only serves as a kind of lamp with which one can atune one's behavior. The unconcious bad habits dont atune themselves, as some people might like to wish.

 

I find that people who go around telling the dubiously mocking jokes have a negativity or energy vampishness to them, but they (their ego) will deny it, and blame the others for being to serious or "not getting it."

 

Congrats on your effort to catch yourself. If you can picture a blocked energy due to a negative or slightly selfish behavior, become unblocked due to a more compassionate/good/virtuous behavior and demeanor, it pretty much works that way, that simply.

 

Im not sure if I addressed your question, because your title didnt really specify, just ".....?" But thanks for the opportunity.

[Harmonious Emptiness]

I am faced with a dilemma. If I act, it seems like my action retain a certain strange quality that could be misunderstood negatively though I am aware.

 

I have caught myself many more times today almost slipping up and making a misteak. Earlier I talked with a friend and told an off-color joke. The friend was slightly offended. Later I made amends.

 

Please share your experiences. Peace - AB

 

fwiw, sounds like maybe your heart center is a bit "off center." As the heart governs the other organs and their "spirits" (related to things like ambition, intuition, courage, groundedness), if the heart is over excited or under active, then we lose some ability to direct intentions -- like being offensive and not knowing why. Maybe just ground yourself, slow the heart down a bit.

[Ambrose_Bierce]

Congrats on your effort to catch yourself. If you can picture a blocked energy due to a negative or slightly selfish behavior, become unblocked due to a more compassionate/good/virtuous behavior and demeanor, it pretty much works that way, that simply.

 

fwiw, sounds like maybe your heart center is a bit "off center." As the heart governs the other organs and their "spirits" (related to things like ambition, intuition, courage, groundedness), if the heart is over excited or under active, then we lose some ability to direct intentions -- like being offensive and not knowing why. Maybe just ground yourself, slow the heart down a bit.

 

Thank you de_paradise and Harmonious Emptiness for posting.

 

Yesterday, I had the chance to react to something emotionally. Deep down I felt I was okay like I was not bothered by it.

 

In short I forgot also my ability to "show love" so I cleaned out the blocked feeling. Still there was an imbalance. So the sudden underactivity probably caused this. If you have noticed any off color posts yesterday, those were a direct result. Yes, when we dont show love it is selfish, yes I seemed to have an inability to direct intentions.

 

Should be back up to speed in no time.