Taoist Relationships

[TheGoldenFlower]

Delete

Edited September 14, 2011 by TheGoldenFlower

[Friend]

Edited November 16, 2011 by Friend

[Stigweard]

I would love some advice from fellow Taoists. I am just beginning my path on the way after many years as a yogini and am very committed to learning neidan and qigong. I have tried celibacy but honestly I feel having a loving close physical relationship makes me grow spiritually. I am healthy, thin and attractive but more importantly I have a kind radiant soul and strive to be humble with good virtue . I am in my early 40's and get asked out on dates a lot even by much younger men yet feel drawn to older men who have some spiritual wisdom. I have tried internet dating this last year as I am seeking something deep and want a man who will devote time to dual cultivation.

 

My experience has been that one older Taoist, who looks his age, wanted a "perfect" partner with very specific looks and beauty , certain astrology and was such a superficial player with a Woody Allen syndrome that he completely turned me off. Then another Taoist, who turned out to be married, wanted a ravishingly beautiful lover because his wife was aging and he felt it would make him more powerful to have a young beauty. Now another older Taoist who seemed wise, humble and really wants the same lifestyle as myself asks if I am a "stunning" beauty or not? I am not saying that just Taoist men online are this way as I have seen yogis in their late 50's have profiles go on and on about wanting a beautiful younger ( meaning late 20's to early 30's) woman.

 

I really get that men are visually attracted and there needs to be chemistry yet I feel ones soul, energy and radiant personality shines beyond the physical and I have meet many "beautiful" people that were ugly on the inside. I plan on living a very long healthy life so I want to grow old gracefully with a man who is not shallow but deeply able to see my souls essence.

 

Any thoughts from fellow Taoist on the way?

Ask yourself, "Who is my true Universal partner?"

 

Also consider, if you want "better fish" you have to use "better bait".

 

[deci belle]

[oat1239]

Rushing water never runs very deep and shallow water is not hard to fathom if we pay attention and take our time. Welcome to the tao bums.

[Harmonious Emptiness]

...

Edited December 31, 2017 by Harmonious Emptiness

[doc benway]

I would love some advice from fellow Taoists. I am just beginning my path on the way after many years as a yogini and am very committed to learning neidan and qigong. I have tried celibacy but honestly I feel having a loving close physical relationship makes me grow spiritually. I am healthy, thin and attractive but more importantly I have a kind radiant soul and strive to be humble with good virtue . I am in my early 40's and get asked out on dates a lot even by much younger men yet feel drawn to older men who have some spiritual wisdom. I have tried internet dating this last year as I am seeking something deep and want a man who will devote time to dual cultivation.

 

My experience has been that one older Taoist, who looks his age, wanted a "perfect" partner with very specific looks and beauty , certain astrology and was such a superficial player with a Woody Allen syndrome that he completely turned me off. Then another Taoist, who turned out to be married, wanted a ravishingly beautiful lover because his wife was aging and he felt it would make him more powerful to have a young beauty. Now another older Taoist who seemed wise, humble and really wants the same lifestyle as myself asks if I am a "stunning" beauty or not? I am not saying that just Taoist men online are this way as I have seen yogis in their late 50's have profiles go on and on about wanting a beautiful younger ( meaning late 20's to early 30's) woman.

 

I really get that men are visually attracted and there needs to be chemistry yet I feel ones soul, energy and radiant personality shines beyond the physical and I have meet many "beautiful" people that were ugly on the inside. I plan on living a very long healthy life so I want to grow old gracefully with a man who is not shallow but deeply able to see my souls essence.

 

Any thoughts from fellow Taoist on the way?

Cultivation is challenging, relationships are challenging.

Many serious cultivators have chosen seclusion to allow focus.

I believe that true cultivation can benefit immensely from the experience of relationships.

Relationships are mirrors through which we can see facets of ourselves that are otherwise obscured.

The key is to learn how to do that.

When I am interacting with someone, it is much better to ask myself what the other person's reaction tells me about ME rather than worrying about what it tells me about them.

Anyway, I'm not sure what you're looking for Golden Flower but welcome to the asylum.

[konchog uma]

Any thoughts from fellow Taoist on the way?

 

clearly there is a fair amount of superficial daoists on internet dating sites... funny, but sad too

 

i wish you luck, there are men out there who are more attracted to energy and spirit than to preconceived notions of looks, although male biochemistry seems wired especially for certain shapes and ratios.

 

i think you will have to be very patient and very discriminating, i hope you find just the right person

[Enishi]

Men tend to instinctually desire women with a certain hip to waist ratio and firm smooth skin, just as women tend to instinctually desire men who exude a certain level of social skill and presence. This is simply a fact of nature.

 

It doesn't mean that spirit and energy don't make a great difference however to those who are aware of it. Think of looks as the wheels of a car while energy/spirit is the engine. You need both. A certain level of physical attraction needs to be in place for other factors to multiply that initial interest.

Edited September 7, 2011 by Enishi

[Creation]

Hi Ms. Golden Flower.

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

There is a long tradition of "Taoist" sexual methods which involve older men and younger women. It relates to the whole issue of jing. So I can imagine running into that even more in self-identified Taoist men than in other cultivating men.

 

What is your source of info on Taoist sexual cultivation? I imagine the Taoist methods you are interested in are more qi and shen level practices, rather than solely jing level practices?

 

I wonder, why specifically seek a Taoist man? Perhaps widendening the search for a serious cultivator of any tradition, yet having the willingness to try Taoist style dual cultivation?

 

And if I may say, your description of yourself has me quite interested in you. Though I certainly don't fit your qualifications.

[Adishakti]

Hi TGF, I don't for a moment believe you'll find love on internet dating sites. I've seen friends get into a constant circle of drama which lasts from a day to three months. I get bored simply listening to their stories. And often wonder how do they have the courage to actually put themselves through it again, and again.

 

I also believe what a better thing to do is address the issues which are perpetuating you to find a partner. Loneliness? Boredom? Then addressing those will be far great option than getting a partner.

 

Sometimes deep relationships simply happen, without you doing nothing. Depending on what frequency you vibrate at you'll find someone exactly like you. So if you want someone better, stop a moment - work on yourself and see what comes before you again.

 

Also why bracket in your mind that you want a Taoist or a cultivator? You begin to give the Universe lesser options. Or your thinking comes in the way of what the Universe actually wants to give you - which could be far better than what you want.

 

A lot of knowledge is available so easily at this point. So you'll find a lot of guys saying/speaking things which will wow you. But do you want to be married to that?

 

Just listen to your heart. It can take a long time till you successfully learn to listen to it.

 

 

 

I would love some advice from fellow Taoists. I am just beginning my path on the way after many years as a yogini and am very committed to learning neidan and qigong. I have tried celibacy but honestly I feel having a loving close physical relationship makes me grow spiritually. I am healthy, thin and attractive but more importantly I have a kind radiant soul and strive to be humble with good virtue . I am in my early 40's and get asked out on dates a lot even by much younger men yet feel drawn to older men who have some spiritual wisdom. I have tried internet dating this last year as I am seeking something deep and want a man who will devote time to dual cultivation.

 

My experience has been that one older Taoist, who looks his age, wanted a "perfect" partner with very specific looks and beauty , certain astrology and was such a superficial player with a Woody Allen syndrome that he completely turned me off. Then another Taoist, who turned out to be married, wanted a ravishingly beautiful lover because his wife was aging and he felt it would make him more powerful to have a young beauty. Now another older Taoist who seemed wise, humble and really wants the same lifestyle as myself asks if I am a "stunning" beauty or not? I am not saying that just Taoist men online are this way as I have seen yogis in their late 50's have profiles go on and on about wanting a beautiful younger ( meaning late 20's to early 30's) woman.

 

I really get that men are visually attracted and there needs to be chemistry yet I feel ones soul, energy and radiant personality shines beyond the physical and I have meet many "beautiful" people that were ugly on the inside. I plan on living a very long healthy life so I want to grow old gracefully with a man who is not shallow but deeply able to see my souls essence.

 

Any thoughts from fellow Taoist on the way?

[Adishakti]

Hi Steve, I like what you have said.

 

One keeps teaching so to learn better for himself.

 

 

When I am interacting with someone, it is much better to ask myself what the other person's reaction tells me about ME rather than worrying about what it tells me about them.

[Fire Dragon]

[JohnC]

I would love some advice from fellow Taoists. I am just beginning my path on the way after many years as a yogini and am very committed to learning neidan and qigong. I have tried celibacy but honestly I feel having a loving close physical relationship makes me grow spiritually. I am healthy, thin and attractive but more importantly I have a kind radiant soul and strive to be humble with good virtue . I am in my early 40's and get asked out on dates a lot even by much younger men yet feel drawn to older men who have some spiritual wisdom. I have tried internet dating this last year as I am seeking something deep and want a man who will devote time to dual cultivation.

 

My experience has been that one older Taoist, who looks his age, wanted a "perfect" partner with very specific looks and beauty , certain astrology and was such a superficial player with a Woody Allen syndrome that he completely turned me off. Then another Taoist, who turned out to be married, wanted a ravishingly beautiful lover because his wife was aging and he felt it would make him more powerful to have a young beauty. Now another older Taoist who seemed wise, humble and really wants the same lifestyle as myself asks if I am a "stunning" beauty or not? I am not saying that just Taoist men online are this way as I have seen yogis in their late 50's have profiles go on and on about wanting a beautiful younger ( meaning late 20's to early 30's) woman.

 

I really get that men are visually attracted and there needs to be chemistry yet I feel ones soul, energy and radiant personality shines beyond the physical and I have meet many "beautiful" people that were ugly on the inside. I plan on living a very long healthy life so I want to grow old gracefully with a man who is not shallow but deeply able to see my souls essence.

 

Any thoughts from fellow Taoist on the way?

 

 

You will attract what you are ready for, and are even now.

Once you are cool with that it will change.

 

Resisting what your getting, will keep it coming.

 

Only once you are totally accepting and cool with what is happening now, will it change.

 

You might find a person through a dating site, or by going out and meeting people at get togethers, or wherever. Where doesn't matter.

 

I wouldn't get caught up in trying to figure out what 'men' want or what 'women' want as the more you know men or women, the less you'll be able to know a man or a woman.

 

But it doesn't matter as all that matters is your chemistry and connection to the person, as this will be the fuel used in the alchemy.

 

And the connection and chemistry has more to do with how connected you are with your self, and the quality of person you are and are attracting.

 

John

Edited September 7, 2011 by JohnC

[witch]

Well, now, I'm more on the lefthand side of things, so I'm not going to give advice on finding a loving relationship. But I do have a few tips on men. What you say about your experiences doesn't surprise me at all. However, it doesn't matter what men want. It matters what you want. If you want to take their jing, they will be your slaves. That is the power of a woman in her forties. Grasp that power.

[Friend]

Edited November 16, 2011 by Friend

[witch]

Splendid, splendid just do not find a green dragon that reverse that situation

white tigeress.

 

I usually tie my dragons down before removing their jing. I keep the upper hand.

[Taiji Bum]

Are there Taoist dating sites?

 

EDIT: I'm on e-Harmony and I avoid the women who put Jesus into every place they can. No Taoist there.

Edited September 7, 2011 by Taiji Bum

[Birch]

I liked what Witch said. Do what you want:-)

I think that many people have learned in some way that to do what they want they have to impress or influence someone else in some way.

IMO/IME. I can't figure out (yet) if this is a leftover from "normal" childhood developmental processes that somehow gets haulted for various reasons or what else it could be. I guess to test it, I'd have to go find people who do what they want aside from haulting conditions of any kind. I mean seriously, a 40 y.o has to explain away her "what I want" of sexuality as "left-handed"?? Why?

 

My other POV on this is that it's better to find someone you like and who has forthright energy to them. I think sometimes "ists" can use the "ism" as a justification for already iffy tendencies:-) AND that some parts of the practice process can be seriously weird.

 

I'd go wu-wei on this one:-)

[witch]

No, a woman simply wanting what she wants is not the left hand path, but I think it is good advice for women in their forties.

 

On the other hand, my own personal activities probably would put me firmly on the lefthand path with most casual observers.

[Birch]

Which, thanks Witch! Is a neat transition to "left-handed" ways.

How would you describe them aside from what the casual observer might say?

I am presently reminded of those mudbathing random hindu folks.

What I meant by my remark was that I found it seriously strange that an adult woman would have to put herself (or her behaviour) into a spiritual category sort of apart but named as such so sort of acceptable ("as long as there's not too many "left-handers" like you" ( not you per se Witch).

 

Anyways. At such levels, the boys seem to be more interested in other stuff:-)

[TheGoldenFlower]

Thank you for all the diverse responses.

 

I am not a white tiger as I like to circulate energy with a lover.I only tried online dating as I have such unusual interests in Taoism, meditation, Qigong and am a nature lover. I am content and have self love I just feel sexuality is part of my spirituality. A lovers appearance, race, weight and even age were not important to me I just was seeking a kind, humble spiritual soul and it surprised me that older Taoist men were so focused on a woman's "stunning" or "raving" beauty.

 

I came to the realization that I was choosing a potential lover on his ability to also be my qigong teacher. I am just going to focus on meditation and see who shows up.

Edited September 14, 2011 by TheGoldenFlower

[konchog uma]

Are there Taoist dating sites?

 

EDIT: I'm on e-Harmony and I avoid the women who put Jesus into every place they can. No Taoist there.

 

you should send those jesus chicks this link

 

unintentionally sexual church signs

http://www.happyplace.com/3695/unintentionally-sexual-church-signs

 

my favorite: "in your right hand there are pleasures forever - psalm 16:11"

Edited September 8, 2011 by anamatva

[GreytoWhite]

TGF,

 

I wish you the best of luck in your online dating travels. I'll not babble about myself or provide general platitudes. Just good luck, you're going to need it.

[JohnC]

 

I came to the realization that I was choosing a potential lover on his ability to also be my teacher. I am just going to focus on meditation and see who shows up.

 

Sounds like a good plan.

 

John