The Path of the Confused

[windblown]

The harder I try...the further away I get.

 

I have never had a dream, never known what I wanted to BE, I try this and that for awhile...then lose interest and blow into some other cranny. I injured my rotater cuff and have been out of work for six weeks. Here are all the hot pursuits that I have thrown my energy into...I will be a novelist...but writing is really hard, think I'll just be a reader; I will be an artist...but painting is boring...I will get my business license and open a Reiki healing place...but no one is buying massages too much in this economy; I will go back to school and learn secretarial programs and get a job in a law office, I will be a housewife and a darn good one, I will be a Bhuddhist, I will be Wiccan, I will be a Taoist, I will do qi-gong...oops this falun gong thing smells of cult, I will travel to beautiful places with my family...boy that gets pricey; I will be a tarot card reader...but that is too much responsibility because someone might take my advice and what if it is wrong?

 

Everything I get hot on turns to dust. Stop seeking...and it will come. How does one actually 'be' a Taoist...and if I knew would I really want to do it?

 

I feel like giving up. Am I crazy?

[Marblehead]

Hi Windblown,

 

Yes. You are crazy. You'll fit in here perfectly. Hehehe.

 

How do one become a Taoist? Normally it just happens when you least expect it. Like that old saying, Don't worry about finding a teacher; when you are ready a teacher will find you.

 

But even if you become a Taoist you still need to earn some money somehow ynles you can find yourself a good man who has lots of money. Regretfully, most of those are already taken.

 

Read the TTC and the Chuang Tzu. This will give you the basics of Taoist Philosophy then you can expand from there to wherever life leads you.

 

Best Wishes.

[zanshin]

I think it's okay to be a drifter and a dabbler. Yeah you do need some way to support yourself. If you're going to have a family definitely a committment, can't just dabble with that. I don't know wanted to be lots of things when I was in my 20s, now 20 years later I'm still not most to them and plenty dreams turned to dust and darker. Have 2 boys, feel like living half my life at a ballfield and cooking food and looking for socks. Love it, no impressive acheivements. Got a job I like, don't work too hard at and no big money worries, but probably never going to have big fancy house or car and that's fine. I think we have a really goal oriented culture and maybe miss a lot of the scenery and roadside attractions charging toward those goals. I have goals as far as lots of interest I'd like to explore simply because I like it, more doing things because I want to rather than to accomplish it because I feel I should or to be something. Still don't know what I want to be, don't care, I'm just me.

[windblown]

Thanks for your posts. I don't feel so alone anymore. Yes, we do live in a pressure filled society where ambition and achievement are super encouraged...throw on top of that a wealthy, old money, southern upbringing with type A parents and siblings...and well...then there's me!

 

There is beauty and divine wonder in the simple things...when I am in that wonder world....is when I am happiest. For instance...amidst the dirty gravel where the garbage can lays is now growing...a tiny yellow buttercup. And I always have the sky to look at with its ever changing panorama of clouds. I see all sorts of beings in these clouds. As much as I hate living in Vegas...the sky here is pretty awesome and offers a different scene in every corner. And being a housewife is not so bad either...I am fortunate in so many ways. Perhaps losing that stress filled job to an injury was a bad thing...but a new life for me has come out of it...with much more time to devote to simple tasks and meditation. Tao can be pointed to by reading a book, but for me, it is only understood by reflecting on my own life. When I want to be a real Taoist is where the research and the trouble starts! Today I will back off from it while being surrounded in IT!

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

Hey, not many people know how confused and conflicted I, myself, am, but alls we can do is push forrward and hope for the best.

 

Even those who sound, act, and seem great and wise are still confused people all the same. They too have to go through it to get to where they are, so who is to say they are "correct". We'll never know through any means but direct personal experience.

 

 

Which is probably why the wisest of elders sit there doing little and speaking even less.

[RiverSnake]

Being confused can be quite frustrating but its also a state of mind with immense potential. So many people come to conclusions about themselves or god saying "i'm this" and "gods that" yet we limit ourselves by boxing in reality with words. Its often better to just admit we don't know because we have yet to experience it for ourselves.

 

 

"Confusion is a much better state than conclusion because conclusion means death.

 

Confusion means your looking... all conclusions are stupid because it has nothing to do with reality. Reality can only be know by perceiving not by concluding." Sadghuru

 

 

 

My 2 cents, peace

[windblown]

Sadhguru must be confused as well because he can not answer the question of ultimate reality and yet he claims to be enlightened! I spent four months in India with him at his ashram so I know the power of his tongue...mesmerizing like a golden undulating snake...

 

I think the best teachers are our every day people, our every day lives and most likely the best books are fiction...except of course the TTC. But did Lao Tzu claim to be enlightened? I hope not...he seemed to be humble...if he did exist...and the story says that he was asked by the gatekeeper upon his exiting the palace grounds to write down his knowledge in what we have today...the TTC. So it is not like he tried to create a movement like so many gurus do today.

 

Sorry folks...I am too much a rebel...will not be a sheep to a Master. But Tao allows me that privelege and in my mind...encourages independant free thinking...however confused that may be!

[deci belle]

[windblown]

After everything I've learned there is only nothing left. This is a peculiar state...it is beyond confusion. It is open and empty as you say...or more like being alright with the shredded fabric of old dreams, old teachers...old ways....that once whisked me across exciting red sunlit skies. In the end...there is nothing left and this is the very thing I was always searching for anyway.

[Harmonious Emptiness]

I like the question here of "what does it mean to be a Taoist?"

 

The answer to this that seems to come from the people I would trust to have it tends to be that "you need to be initiated by a master to really call yourself a Taoist." But that doesn't mean, to me, that you have to be initiated to learn about Taoism and apply it to the way you go about things.

 

There are also plenty of lay-people who go to Taoist temples to get blessings and celebrate the new year and such. I'm not sure if they concern themselves with a religious affiliation title or not. I think in the western world especially there is a legal type of labelling which might label many non-initiated people as Taoists as well.

 

Personally, my interests are broader than any one or two particular traditions so I'm not too worried about not being a Taoist or anything else as they would all be incomplete and inaccurate descriptions at this point.

 

However, learning from Taoism teaches me many things that are valuable to my life, one of the most important being that there is always so much more; that simplicity is so complex that complexity is just a narrow, feeble, description. Keeping an open mind, capable of a deeper receptivity beyond conscious knowing, is practicing Taoism as much as it's being human.. pretty much the same things some would say..

 

edit: some other necessities that should not be left out: Taking the bitters with the sweet; working towards a better yet simpler self; becoming great by accepting smallness; finding freedom by walking the straight and narrow road; following patterns while following our nature

Edited September 11, 2011 by Harmonious Emptiness

[Dainin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUiwTubYu0

[windblown]

If I must be initiated to call myself a Taoist, then perhaps...I am just a borrower of Taoist thought and ways. I have found it better for me to include all my interests, truths and experiences into whatever I am doing spiritually as this develops into a glittering mosaic of colorful glass. All the different parts together make a beautiful whole...much more interesting than if it was all just say...blue glass. So I shall not call myself anything because labels only seek to box me in and cause arguement as to what the box really is and how to do the correct practices to stay in this box. Tao or Taoism is the antithesis of the box mentality so I should think that Tao doesn't care what I call myself...but people get frisky and bent up about labels. Labels make us feel safe because we think we finally know who we are and what to do every day to further cultivate that. This is a good path for some. But I am of the sky, the wind, the clouds and if you'll look out now...the sky is one way...but five minutes later...it has changed. I'm just a girl and it's just a ride!

[zanshin]

Damn and I run like a girl too.

 

I want to be a cheetah, I want to be the wind. I don't really care to be a Taoist, but want to flow with the Tao.

[windblown]

You are the cheetah

You are the wind

Flowing...ever flowing...Zanshin and Tao

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wheeeeeeeee!

[joeblast]

If you get a chance, watch A Talk About Nothing by Adyashanti

[deci belle]

[Thunder_Gooch]

I think you should do some soul searching, sit down and really ask yourself what your goal is for being a taoist, buddhist, wiccan or whatever else is. What is the end goal? I think if you can clearly define that, then you can begin searching for practices to help you achieve it.

 

 

 

The harder I try...the further away I get.

 

I have never had a dream, never known what I wanted to BE, I try this and that for awhile...then lose interest and blow into some other cranny. I injured my rotater cuff and have been out of work for six weeks. Here are all the hot pursuits that I have thrown my energy into...I will be a novelist...but writing is really hard, think I'll just be a reader; I will be an artist...but painting is boring...I will get my business license and open a Reiki healing place...but no one is buying massages too much in this economy; I will go back to school and learn secretarial programs and get a job in a law office, I will be a housewife and a darn good one, I will be a Bhuddhist, I will be Wiccan, I will be a Taoist, I will do qi-gong...oops this falun gong thing smells of cult, I will travel to beautiful places with my family...boy that gets pricey; I will be a tarot card reader...but that is too much responsibility because someone might take my advice and what if it is wrong?

 

Everything I get hot on turns to dust. Stop seeking...and it will come. How does one actually 'be' a Taoist...and if I knew would I really want to do it?

 

I feel like giving up. Am I crazy?

[windblown]

Deci...the shear beauty of your truthful words...allowed my tears to fall.

[Eric23]

Pick up a copy of Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot. You may find the answer to your questions after reading the play.

[RiverSnake]

Sadhguru must be confused as well because he can not answer the question of ultimate reality and yet he claims to be enlightened! I spent four months in India with him at his ashram so I know the power of his tongue...mesmerizing like a golden undulating snake...

 

I think the best teachers are our every day people, our every day lives and most likely the best books are fiction...except of course the TTC. But did Lao Tzu claim to be enlightened? I hope not...he seemed to be humble...if he did exist...and the story says that he was asked by the gatekeeper upon his exiting the palace grounds to write down his knowledge in what we have today...the TTC. So it is not like he tried to create a movement like so many gurus do today.

 

Sorry folks...I am too much a rebel...will not be a sheep to a Master. But Tao allows me that privelege and in my mind...encourages independant free thinking...however confused that may be!

 

Not trying to get you to find a guru or bow to someone...nor am i a student of Sadghuru. Im simply using his words to make a point...when we have a fixed perspective on life and ourselves we kill all chance of growth due to that attachment...i can feel the judgment and attachment to ideals overflowing in your post.

 

The best teachers IMO encourage the seeker to look within and see there own ignorance instead of picking up points of view like pennies. Real knowledge comes from experience. IMO you cannot speak or hand someone enlightenment (not saying i am enlightened) just like you cannot tell someone what an apple is...it must be tasted and touched.

 

Also where there's smoke there's fire, if what i said angered you then its likely that you've got some blockages or unresolved emotions...look within.

 

-I wish you the best of luck. Peace

[gendao]

The harder I try...the further away I get.

 

I have never had a dream, never known what I wanted to BE, I try this and that for awhile...then lose interest and blow into some other cranny. I injured my rotater cuff and have been out of work for six weeks. Here are all the hot pursuits that I have thrown my energy into...I will be a novelist...but writing is really hard, think I'll just be a reader; I will be an artist...but painting is boring...I will get my business license and open a Reiki healing place...but no one is buying massages too much in this economy; I will go back to school and learn secretarial programs and get a job in a law office, I will be a housewife and a darn good one, I will be a Bhuddhist, I will be Wiccan, I will be a Taoist, I will do qi-gong...oops this falun gong thing smells of cult, I will travel to beautiful places with my family...boy that gets pricey; I will be a tarot card reader...but that is too much responsibility because someone might take my advice and what if it is wrong?

 

Everything I get hot on turns to dust. Stop seeking...and it will come. How does one actually 'be' a Taoist...and if I knew would I really want to do it?

 

I feel like giving up. Am I crazy?

Stop just "trying" and start actually BEing, then..

 

Although tourism is great for starters...do you know what the difference between a tourist and an accomplished explorer is?

A tourist has a photo of the summit...

While an explorer has a photo FROM the summit.

Same summit...but all the difference in the world can be found purely in the viewpoint alone!

 

Novelty-seekers will always lose interest quickly because novelty (by definition) always fades quickly. And if that is all you seek in life, then that is all you shall find. Whereas those who look deeper, will continue to find more of interest in everything. Again, all the difference in the world can be found purely in your viewpoint alone.

 

Try just staring at a rock for a week and see what you find?

Edited September 11, 2011 by vortex

[thelerner]

Maybe my way is the lazy one, but its worked for me; Its good to look around, get a feeling for different practices and philosophies, but at some point you have to 'marry' one. Put in the daily work, be dedicated.

 

Ah, but how to choose. Forget the best, choose one that's convenient for you, has a good teacher and a philosophy you jibe with. Sometimes the yoga at the local community center is better then the exotic guru. Especially if they're especially good & inspiring, ultimately they'll be a doorway to other deeper things and the experience they give you will make moving to a deeper level simple.

 

Money, job, whats close by, convenient and will net you the best pay per hour? From what I've heard spiritual arts make great life hobbies, but poor jobs.

[zanshin]

You are the cheetah

You are the wind

Flowing...ever flowing...Zanshin and Tao

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wheeeeeeeee!

 

Wheeeeeeeee!

 

Aw...thanks, lovely sister friend.

[witch]

I'd say I'm a taoist witch, but that's a very specific thing. The two things are in conflict, in some ways. I've had to give up a lot of my spellwork. Witches cast spells to get specific results. They always work with nature, but I believe use more hard control when it comes to magic than taoists do, generally speaking. The unifying concept in both is the idea of balance.

 

Also, with being a witch, a lot of it has to do with whether you were born a witch. And a lot more of it has to do with things you actually do, rather than your belief system. Witches tend to be pretty sketchy and fluid when it comes to religious beliefs, outside of actual wiccans who are rather protective of the title (there's a lineage from the UK and initiation, etc., kind of a silly with a tradition that's only sixty years old). Although being a witch is probably the most fluid religion there is, some general guidelines are: do you celebrate the phases of the moon with ritual and do you cast spells to work magic?

 

Of course coming at it from the other side I know there are witches within the taoist tradition, but I am not knowledgeable enough to comment on those.

[Marblehead]

I'd say I'm a taoist witch, but that's a very specific thing. The two things are in conflict, in some ways. I've had to give up a lot of my spellwork. Witches cast spells to get specific results. They always work with nature, but I believe use more hard control when it comes to magic than taoists do, generally speaking. The unifying concept in both is the idea of balance.

 

Also, with being a witch, a lot of it has to do with whether you were born a witch. And a lot more of it has to do with things you actually do, rather than your belief system. Witches tend to be pretty sketchy and fluid when it comes to religious beliefs, outside of actual wiccans who are rather protective of the title (there's a lineage from the UK and initiation, etc., kind of a silly with a tradition that's only sixty years old). Although being a witch is probably the most fluid religion there is, some general guidelines are: do you celebrate the phases of the moon with ritual and do you cast spells to work magic?

 

Of course coming at it from the other side I know there are witches within the taoist tradition, but I am not knowledgeable enough to comment on those.

 

That was a very interesting post for me as I know (internet) a number of Witches and Wiccans.

 

Yes, there are conflicts between Taoist and Wicca. But there are way more similarities. One of my male Witch friends and I get into some really nice discussions now and then. He comments to my posts concerning Taoism and I comment to his posts concerning the way of the Witch.