How do you heal a broken spirit?

[tulku]

Marbles started a thread about love and how one should go about healing a broken heart.

 

In the book Psychic Warrior, the author had his spirit broken through innumerous setbacks to his career, marriage and spirituality. Some would call this the dark night of the soul.

 

I would ask you though..

 

How do you heal a broken spirit?

 

How do you get out of the dark night of the soul?

 

A broken heart can be easily healed.

 

A broken spirit? .....................

Edited September 13, 2011 by tulku

[Marblehead]

Excellent questions Tulku. And I suggest that there are many who have these questions but are afraid or unable to ask them.

 

Any complete answer would have to be made on an individual basis, I think. This is because we all are different and our circumstances will be different.

 

Your questions caused me thoughts of Wayne L. Wang's translation of the TTC titled "Dynamic Tao and its manifestations".

 

In his introduction/discussion he spoke of our two planes (conditions) of reality; 'wu', Mystery, or the spiritual, and 'yo', Manifest, or the physical, materialistic world.

 

In that discussion he suggested that we should try to attain a condition of balance, or rather, harmony between 'wu' and 'yo'.

 

He also suggested that many of us can become so consumed by what is happening in our physical world that we become a 'lost soul'. That is we become totally 'yo', materialistic, and we have lost all connection with 'wu', our spirituality.

 

However, he then stated that this is not the end. We need not remain a lost soul forever because Tao, even though we have lost our connection, is ever-present and we can always return no matter how lost we have become.

 

Okay. Granted. I have not spoken to the question of "How?". My answer is: "I don't know."

 

As I said, I think it will vary between individuals based on the causes of becoming lost, or having a broken spirit.

 

I do know this though. The first thing one must do is stop. Stop and clear our mind of all the bullshit.

 

I, personally, just had a set-back regarding NA spirituality. I stopped. I am still in the process of clearing the mind of all the bullshit. Once I accomplish the cleaning phase I feel I will be able to go forward once again.

 

I will be following this thread because I feel it speaks to some very important issues in the life of most of us.

 

Thanks for bringing the concept up for discussion.

[Jetsun]

Personally I am trying to reconnect to the earth and to let go of all the things which don't serve me any more, I think you have to go back to simple things.

[C T]

Identify negative habitual patterns.

 

Cut the roots by bringing mindful attention repeatedly to the causes of these.

 

Step by step, create opposing causes, or plant fresh, vibrant and positive seeds in the mind, again, do it repeatedly.

 

Its like pouring clean, clear water unceasingly into a muddied pool. Every subtle layer which gets dislodged means that some purification is taking place. Look for the effects of this process, again, by bringing mindful awareness to habitual traits in body, speech and mind.

 

Turn all mundane activities into enlightened activities of purification.

 

When you sip tea, visualize that the tea is ambrosia or nectar from buddhas and enlightened dharma protectors.

 

In a shower, visualize the water streaming over your body to be healing balm, clearing all your subtle waste into Yama, who then eats up the negative impurities and transforms them into enlightened sustenance for his horde of angelic beings and demons.

 

When you have a meal, dedicate it as a blessing from the gods of the blissful realms who make it possible for you to derive satisfaction from hunger, and if you think its not a waste, each time before you start eating, bring a small portion of your food and leave it outside the window or in open spaces, that it may help pacify beings in other realms, from animals to hungry ghosts.

 

When you get dressed, imagine you are putting on a coat of armor made of a thin layer of impenetrable diamond, and your body embalmed in white, red and blue lights streamed down from the forehead of your protector deity (if you have one. If not, find one).

 

Each time you sense of hearing is engaged, visualize all sounds as mantras.

 

When you find you want to express yourself, visualize yourself as an enlightened being, using your words as means to purify both yours and the mindstream of others. Watch each utterance carefully, and speak in a way which promotes peace, harmony and encourages virtue in others.

 

As you awake each morning, spend a few minutes before you get out of bed to visualize your Blessing Deity departing from the center of your heart, traveling up the central channel, arriving to the summit of your crown, where a rainbow-colored lotus opens up to welcome the seating of this Blessing Deity. Then visualize each petal emitting dazzling white light in all directions, bringing healing to your parents, your siblings, your immediate relations, your dharma friends, your enemies, together with all beings in all the 6 realms of existence, and see that they achieve peace and happiness from receiving this kind gesture of blessing from your Deity.

 

As you make your way thru the day, try to maintain a subtle awareness of this Deity resting on the crown of your head. Increase your awareness each time you feel negativity seeping into your thoughts, words and deeds.

 

When you return to sleep at night, visualize bowing and prostrating to this Deity, thanking him/her for looking out for you and keeping you safe and positive, and welcome him/her back to the sacred space you have created within your heart, where an adamantine, jade green lotus awaits.

 

Repeat this process unceasingly.

 

 

 

Edit to add: If you can accept the healing power of stones, then work with Lapis Lazuli and Kunzite. Place them strategically around your room or house, and wear a pendant made from either of these stones. Or request/purchase a sacred amulet from a temple, or from e-shops, but make sure its blessed. This site is good:

http://vajrasecrets.com/products-by-function/protection.html

Edited September 13, 2011 by CowTao

[witch]

Spend time in the sunlight, particularly at noontime with skin exposed. Take long walks. Eat meat, heavy starchy foods, and go heavy on the salt. Get massages. Don't be afraid of good fats. Take fish oil. Watch funny movies. Listen to the blues.

[Jeff]

Marbles started a thread about love and how one should go about healing a broken heart.

 

In the book Psychic Warrior, the author had his spirit broken through innumerous setbacks to his career, marriage and spirituality. Some would call this the dark night of the soul.

 

I would ask you though..

 

How do you heal a broken spirit?

 

How do you get out of the dark night of the soul?

 

A broken heart can be easily healed.

 

A broken spirit? .....................

 

"You" are never broken. Your description is of the Ego/Mind having "setbacks". The "dark night of the soul" is about transcending the Ego (autopilot). The Ego will never be satisfied. Go beyond...

 

The first step is to find the "witness" inside. When you "quiet your mind", it is easier to find "yourself" in the silence.

 

[joeblast]

Marbles started a thread about love and how one should go about healing a broken heart.

 

In the book Psychic Warrior, the author had his spirit broken through innumerous setbacks to his career, marriage and spirituality. Some would call this the dark night of the soul.

 

I would ask you though..

 

How do you heal a broken spirit?

 

How do you get out of the dark night of the soul?

 

A broken heart can be easily healed.

 

A broken spirit? .....................

you take all of "the pieces" and pulverize them into a fine powder, add water, mix, then bake it in the sun...

[Marblehead]

you take all of "the pieces" and pulverize them into a fine powder, add water, mix, then bake it in the sun...

 

I'm glad you didn't say we had to add some of our own urine to that mix!

[balance.]

Spend time in the sunlight, particularly at noontime with skin exposed. Take long walks. Eat meat, heavy starchy foods, and go heavy on the salt. Get massages. Don't be afraid of good fats. Take fish oil. Watch funny movies. Listen to the blues.

 

 

Mm.. yes.... those blues...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD4fKKhYS1g

[doc benway]

Another approach is to actively practice kindness and friendliness.

At first it's really difficult. Over time it becomes easier.

As you begin to get good at it, you begin to feel good about it.

You see the surprise, pleasure, and appreciation in the faces of others.

It can really be transformative.

[thelerner]

I really like this short practical answer.

Spend time in the sunlight, particularly at noontime with skin exposed. Take long walks. Eat meat, heavy starchy foods, and go heavy on the salt. Get massages. Don't be afraid of good fats. Take fish oil. Watch funny movies. Listen to the blues.

 

A broken image is just a mental picture. A very powerful one we keep returning to. It shows pathos, darkness, its a scene of depression.

 

Forget it. How?

 

 

Spend time in the sunlight, particularly at noontime with skin exposed. Take long walks. Eat meat, heavy starchy foods, and go heavy on the salt. Get massages. Don't be afraid of good fats. Take fish oil. Watch funny movies. Listen to the blues.

 

Or substitute other distractions until the image fades. Then roll up your sleeves and get on with life.

Edited September 13, 2011 by thelerner

[Ambrose_Bierce]

Everyone is giving great examples here.

 

However, how do you know what is defined as "the dark night of the soul"

or "the dark tea time of the soul"?

 

 

I could interject with my conclusion that a person is on the wrong path.

To make that last sentance understandable... Ones Emotions, Mind and Spirit are wanting and doing separate things.

 

Background feelings and disappointments are comming to bear on the current life so one must change.

 

One must find out what skills and things one has... their deck of playing cards so to speak and play them with all three in harmony.

 

That is how you overcome the dark tea time of the soul.

[doc benway]

A similar way to express that is to look at our core values and see if our choices in life are helping or hindering our ability to live in accordance with those values.

[konchog uma]

stay in the light

take small steps every day

give it time

[Birch]

Meh, IMO/IME the spirit isn't broken, it's just having a hard time pushing through/doesn't much care for present conditions.

Really there is no splitty stuff to speak of but IME spirit (i.e. You) is smart enough to cooperate with whatever. I'd go with the "get out of yer own way" suggestions offered here.

Have you tried getting in touch with yourself?

 

@Steve. The "core values" thing is a good one. It ain't easy (opinion/experience alert) to figure out which values really are yours and which aren't.

[Aaron]

Marbles started a thread about love and how one should go about healing a broken heart.

 

In the book Psychic Warrior, the author had his spirit broken through innumerous setbacks to his career, marriage and spirituality. Some would call this the dark night of the soul.

 

I would ask you though..

 

How do you heal a broken spirit?

 

How do you get out of the dark night of the soul?

 

A broken heart can be easily healed.

 

A broken spirit? .....................

 

 

The easiest way to heal a broken spirit is to eat when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty, sleep when you are tired, and get out of the house when you are lonely. If you can do these things, then the spirit, which is resilient, will heal. However, if you deprive yourself of these simple comforts, then the spirit will be deprived as well. Also, if you have grown tired or disillusioned with religion, then let religion go and just do what you need to do. (Need is the operative word here.)

 

Aaron

[tulku]

The easiest way to heal a broken spirit is to eat when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty, sleep when you are tired, and get out of the house when you are lonely. If you can do these things, then the spirit, which is resilient, will heal. However, if you deprive yourself of these simple comforts, then the spirit will be deprived as well. Also, if you have grown tired or disillusioned with religion, then let religion go and just do what you need to do. (Need is the operative word here.)

 

Aaron

 

what if i am extremely tired and disillusioned with the whole world?

 

do i let go of the whole world and just do what i need to do?

Edited September 14, 2011 by tulku

[tulku]

I really like this short practical answer.

 

 

A broken image is just a mental picture. A very powerful one we keep returning to. It shows pathos, darkness, its a scene of depression.

 

Forget it. How?

 

 

Spend time in the sunlight, particularly at noontime with skin exposed. Take long walks. Eat meat, heavy starchy foods, and go heavy on the salt. Get massages. Don't be afraid of good fats. Take fish oil. Watch funny movies. Listen to the blues.

 

Or substitute other distractions until the image fades. Then roll up your sleeves and get on with life.

 

It is the whole life thingy which I am extremely disappointed with.

 

What happens if you know the whole world is awake except for you?

 

How would you feel if you know the gods are deliberately suppressing your higher spiritual faculties but have freed the rest of the world?

 

How would you feel if you are punished for living life like a brainwashed zombie slave whose only interest is the material and indulgence of the senses? Yet everyone else in the world was not punished but even encouraged to continue indulging their senses like animals?

 

How would you feel if you are designated to carry all the world's sins without you having any say in this matter?

 

No, I don't think a mere broken heart comes anywhere close to a broken spirit.

Edited September 14, 2011 by tulku

[Aaron]

what if i am extremely tired and disillusioned with the whole world?

 

do i let go of the whole world and just do what i need to do?

 

Yes. Need is the operative word. You have to decide what you need to do within limits. If you feel you need to hurt yourself, then that is a want, not a need. Everything you actually need to do, I already listed, so if you are having doubts, refer to that list and it can help you to decide what to do next.

 

I hope you are well.

 

Aaron

[Jetsun]

It is the whole life thingy which I am extremely disappointed with.

 

What happens if you know the whole world is awake except for you?

 

How would you feel if you know the gods are deliberately suppressing your higher spiritual faculties but have freed the rest of the world?

 

How would you feel if you are punished for living life like a brainwashed zombie slave whose only interest is the material and indulgence of the senses? Yet everyone else in the world was not punished but even encouraged to continue indulging their senses like animals?

 

How would you feel if you are designated to carry all the world's sins without you having any say in this matter?

 

No, I don't think a mere broken heart comes anywhere close to a broken spirit.

 

Perhaps the weight you carry on your shoulders is completely imaginary, maybe your soul is being pinned down by an imaginary force which could be let go of at any moment if you were to sacrifice what you cling to. Each person has to examine what they cling to but the common things we need to sacrifice to recover are self importance and self pity.

Edited September 14, 2011 by Jetsun

[Marblehead]

Each person has to examine what they cling to but the common things we need to sacrifice to recover are self importance and self pity.

 

Me thinks you just pinned the tail on the donkey.

 

Hehehe. Yes, I know I speak about my "I" a lot. But I truely believe that I have never suggested that "I" am any better or more important than any other "I" (other people).

 

Self pity? Hehehe. I used to practice that. So silly was I. Self acceptance. And acceptance of our condition. Doesn't mean we have to stay in an unsatisfactory condition though. We can make our own limited changes in our life.

 

However, it is first necessary to define who we truely are, not what other people tell us we are. Know thyself. Yeah, that's been said before. Still valid though. Once we know ourself we can begin to define why we are where we are. If we don't like whaere we are all we need do is take that first step toward somewhere else.

[Jetsun]

Me thinks you just pinned the tail on the donkey.

 

Hehehe. Yes, I know I speak about my "I" a lot. But I truely believe that I have never suggested that "I" am any better or more important than any other "I" (other people).

 

Self pity? Hehehe. I used to practice that. So silly was I. Self acceptance. And acceptance of our condition. Doesn't mean we have to stay in an unsatisfactory condition though. We can make our own limited changes in our life.

 

However, it is first necessary to define who we truely are, not what other people tell us we are. Know thyself. Yeah, that's been said before. Still valid though. Once we know ourself we can begin to define why we are where we are. If we don't like whaere we are all we need do is take that first step toward somewhere else.

 

Yes I still get caught up in self pity quite a lot, essentially I think it stems from thinking things should be different than they are, that I don't deserve to be in the place I am at and deserve better, but what I am starting to see is that many of these states like self pity and self importance are simply not helpful or useful in any way whatsoever so I might as well not waste my energy with them, even if I don't deserve to suffer and dont deserve the life i have there is no use struggling against it. Also those states are a form of denial of reality as your mind is off where you think you "should" be and mourning about not being there rather than being where you actually are. Im starting to see how a belief on karma helps to nullify these states, pity I don't really believe in it. Like you say Marblehead accepting where you are at is so important yet seemingly so hard to do a lot of the time at least for me.

[C T]

Yes I still get caught up in self pity quite a lot, essentially I think it stems from thinking things should be different than they are, that I don't deserve to be in the place I am at and deserve better, but what I am starting to see is that many of these states like self pity and self importance are simply not helpful or useful in any way whatsoever so I might as well not waste my energy with them, even if I don't deserve to suffer and dont deserve the life i have there is no use struggling against it. Also those states are a form of denial of reality as your mind is off where you think you "should" be and mourning about not being there rather than being where you actually are. Im starting to see how a belief on karma helps to nullify these states, pity I don't really believe in it. Like you say Marblehead accepting where you are at is so important yet seemingly so hard to do a lot of the time at least for me.

Maybe you want to reach a little further from mere acceptance to see if there can be other directions in which you can experience transformation. We are gifted with almost unlimited freedom as human beings... we are not a cave with the opening stuck at facing north, where the sun's rays and light can never reach. To experience the warmth and light, accepting the existence of the sun is not enough. We need to create an auspicious space in the mind (in other words create the right causes repeatedly) in order to bring about change. Wallowing in acceptance is only one degree above wallowing in self-pity. Its always good to have a clear insight if what we think is acceptance will not tilt the fragile scales into 'helplessness' territory.

 

Karma works both ways... we reap the fruits of seasons past, but at the same time, we are also sowing for new seasons. Hence what we do from this point on is vital in determining where we will be one week, one month, one year from now. When i say 'doing', remember, it starts at the level of intention and motivation... begin from there is always a good place to establish a firm foundation.

[Jetsun]

Maybe you want to reach a little further from mere acceptance to see if there can be other directions in which you can experience transformation. We are gifted with almost unlimited freedom as human beings... we are not a cave with the opening stuck at facing north, where the sun's rays and light can never reach. To experience the warmth and light, accepting the existence of the sun is not enough. We need to create an auspicious space in the mind (in other words create the right causes repeatedly) in order to bring about change. Wallowing in acceptance is only one degree above wallowing in self-pity. Its always good to have a clear insight if what we think is acceptance will not tilt the fragile scales into 'helplessness' territory.

 

Karma works both ways... we reap the fruits of seasons past, but at the same time, we are also sowing for new seasons. Hence what we do from this point on is vital in determining where we will be one week, one month, one year from now. When i say 'doing', remember, it starts at the level of intention and motivation... begin from there is always a good place to establish a firm foundation.

 

I do accept what you are saying but this is where my mind ties itself up in knots, because if you are practising to change where you are at you are not accepting so you are denying reality as your mind is in the future rather than in the present moment. Yet there seems a need for practice and acceptance even though they seem to contradict each other.

[C T]

I do accept what you are saying but this is where my mind ties itself up in knots, because if you are practising to change where you are at you are not accepting so you are denying reality as your mind is in the future rather than in the present moment. Yet there seems a need for practice and acceptance even though they seem to contradict each other.

Then perhaps you need a re-think of what constitutes Reality.

 

In my mind, Reality is change.

 

You may not be able to change external conditions overnight, but that does not mean we cannot begin by first transforming our intentions. Doing so does not imply denial, does it?

 

Dont you see the benefit of creating a new set of mind-conditions, rather than accepting that the present is static like molasses?

 

How does one create a more conducive, ease-filled state? Imagine...

 

...This moment is pregnant with potential... a big part of mindfulness involves examining each thought we bring or allow to expand into each passing moment. Its entirely possible to decide... this is not denying the present ~ its being skillful in using this very moment to create, with total control, what we want to experience in each subsequent moment.

 

As you practice this, gradually you are replacing the weakest links in the chain of thoughts with stronger ones, and a time will come when these sturdier links will be able to hold the rest of the chain, and that is a good starting point. We do not need to work at transforming the whole chain because the magnitude of the task often overwhelms us and we usually end up defeated even before we begin to put in place fundamental conditions which make change a possibility.