Ideagasms

[sean]

I hate to say this, given that everything you've said could well be true, but the way you come across when talking about Stephane is the same way almost all ex-iGers do, and it only makes you look bad. To say he has a problem and that he requires help is one thing, but to hate him and bash him like you do only accentuates your own unresolved guilt and shame for being duped by him. Or perhaps with all his crazy, he still managed to push a button and expose something deeper? He wasn't without wisdom, and a man with wisdom and an ego can be more hurtful than anything else.

I was never an iGer. I got to know Stephane because he was a client of mine I worked with very closely for over a year. I viewed him as a client and an interesting acquaintance and did my best to be his only adult non-cyber friend, despite his massive personal baggage. Every casual attempt to discuss spiritual cultivation or insight went way over his head in my opinion. You see wisdom in him, I see a fraud with a convincing keyboard. When he got drunk one night and almost killed his cat in front of everyone in the house (seriously) and then proceeded to insult Lezlie, my girlfriend, I told him I was not interested in working with him anymore.

 

This is the last thing Stephane wrote me:

"My betrayal paranoia 8 pattern indeed blinded me, and now I've fucked up the highest vibing friendship I've ever known.. you're the only guy I could *really* talk to"

 

Yeah, I'm probably a little irritated at the volumes of annoying shit he's done in our relationship, sure. But "hate" and "unresolved guilt and shame", come on.

 

Sean

[Trunk]

Lezlie,

Very sweet pic of you & Sean. Your art really comes through your choice of photos. When you had your site up with your art photos, I was similarly impressed. Talented.

Keith

[lezlie]

Very sweet pic of you & Sean. Your art really comes through your choice of photos. When you had your site up with your art photos, I was similarly impressed. Talented.

Keith

 

Thanks Keith! This photo was taken on the very first day that we moved down here to Playa Zancudo.... Thank you also for your compliment about my old site/photos

[Yoda]

I hate to say this, given that everything you've said could well be true, but the way you come across when talking about Stephane is the same way almost all ex-iGers do, and it only makes you look bad. To say he has a problem and that he requires help is one thing, but to hate him and bash him like you do only accentuates your own unresolved guilt and shame for being duped by him. Or perhaps with all his crazy, he still managed to push a button and expose something deeper? He wasn't without wisdom, and a man with wisdom and an ego can be more hurtful than anything else.

 

Sean is a very easy going guy and he doesn't hold grudges or anything. I've killed several of his cats in front of him and he's always been totally cool with it.

[freeform]

[sean]

Sean is a very easy going guy and he doesn't hold grudges or anything. I've killed several of his cats in front of him and he's always been totally cool with it.

Killed with affection maybe.

 

Sean

[Lightbringer]

I was never an iGer. I got to know Stephane because he was a client of mine I worked with very closely for over a year. I viewed him as a client and an interesting acquaintance and did my best to be his only adult non-cyber friend, despite his massive personal baggage. Every casual attempt to discuss spiritual cultivation or insight went way over his head in my opinion. You see wisdom in him, I see a fraud with a convincing keyboard. When he got drunk one night and almost killed his cat in front of everyone in the house (seriously) and then proceeded to insult Lezlie, my girlfriend, I told him I was not interested in working with him anymore.

 

This is the last thing Stephane wrote me:

"My betrayal paranoia 8 pattern indeed blinded me, and now I've fucked up the highest vibing friendship I've ever known.. you're the only guy I could *really* talk to"

 

Yeah, I'm probably a little irritated at the volumes of annoying shit he's done in our relationship, sure. But "hate" and "unresolved guilt and shame", come on.

 

Sean

 

I never meant to say your post reflects badly on your character. I only noticed that there were many negative emotions tied up in your memory of Stephane which is a sign of unresolved issues. Just food for thought, not accusations

 

On another note, I do stick by the wisdom he's written, though I certainly don't agree with everything he's said. Just because the teacher has gone batty, doesn't mean the lesson should be dismissed, just taken with a grain of salt as always.

[sean]

I never meant to say your post reflects badly on your character. I only noticed that there were many negative emotions tied up in your memory of Stephane which is a sign of unresolved issues. Just food for thought, not accusations

 

On another note, I do stick by the wisdom he's written, though I certainly don't agree with everything he's said. Just because the teacher has gone batty, doesn't mean the lesson should be dismissed, just taken with a grain of salt as always.

But you didn't "only notice there were many negative emotions". You think you noticed them. You think you saw "hate and unresolved guilt and shame" in me via a text only post on an internet forum when you know nothing about me. These emotions simply are not there. Which shows why you can't be so quick to judge someone via a medium like this. Take that as food for thought next time you are projecting "wisdom" on to Stephane. The "teacher" didn't go batty, he started batty and is using spiritual words as a tool to rationalize and manipulate. It's ok if you used to be an iGer, I know a bunch of them still. I tell them, just accept that you were completely fooled by a clever stage magician and move on. No need to rationalize your mistake by continuing to sift for grains of salt in old garbage cans. Life is short and there is such an abundance of amazing, benevolent, powerful teachers with real integrity in the world, don't waste your precious birth with criminals.

 

Namaste,

Sean

[freeform]

.

Edited May 27, 2023 by freeform

[Starjumper]

StarJumper7

 

I've been holding many comments back in the past.

 

Things i notice. I shall not say that they are bad or good. For I have seen both.

 

I do not wish to enter into duality with you, nor anyone else.

 

I would like to say that when you post your thoughts or answers your searching for on this forum. its an open forum for everyone to see. Some people will pass judgment over them. I understand that passing judgement is their fault and not yours. Although it doesn't make you seem very creditable as a Nei Kung Teacher.

That's good! It's working then.

 

And I do know you have some good ability.

 

How much ability you have I can not say because I did not search or try to figure that out. (Once again would not like to enter into any dualities with anyone). Although I am suggesting you think and take some time with your posts a little more then you have to make yourself not look so unknowledgable.

 

Once again I DO know your knowledgeable and read quite a bit. (You know search for answers well)

 

It doesn't come too much from reading.

 

It's kind of like this:

 

Having a wide open and dominant crown point makes people (me) have partial ADD.

 

I'm impulsive and say what I feel.

 

I don't care too much how I appear to others on forums.

 

... and

 

Concerning squirting, I used to watch porno online and they showed it coming from the vagina and so I knew someone was lying. I psychically knew that Stephane was a freak and so I added 2+2+ being impulsive and that's what you get. Anyway, anyone who spells their name Stephane has to be a weirdo.

Edited January 13, 2009 by Starjumper7

[Lightbringer]

Anyway, anyone who spells their name Stephane has to be a weirdo.

 

Haha. That is pretty damn funny.

 

@Sean: My observations are yours to learn from and yours to ignore. Whether I'm right or not isn't an issue worth debating. I was simply curious whether I could give some insight. I do apologize for my accusatory psycho-analysis though. As Smile said it wasn't necessary, just a bad habit I've yet to kick.

[Taiji Bum]

Having a wide open and dominant crown point makes people (me) have partial ADD.

Any chance you could elaborate on this in a thread of its own?

Thanks,

Darin

[Smile]

Concerning squirting, I used to watch porno online and they showed it coming from the vagina and so I knew someone was lying.

Man, this is the funnies stuff I've heard in a long time...

 

You know what I learned from porn? All men have limp dicks and women never come. Oh, and if you ask a strange woman on a street if she wants to have butt sex, she will always say "Yes, it's a great Idea!!!"

Edited January 13, 2009 by Smile

[Starjumper]

observe the hole with intention.

ROFL

 

You know what I learned from porn? All men have limp dicks and women never come. Oh, and if you ask a strange woman on a street if she wants to have butt sex, she will always say "Yes, it's a great Idea!!!"

Butt sex is the most disgusting thing. grooooosssss. Concerning limp dicks, I thought they were rare but a buddy of mine sez his girl sez it's really common. Not my problem cuz I do chi kung and you know what they say about chi kung: "If you don't wake up in the morning with a hard on you're not doing it right" so I must be doing it right. So how common is ED anyway? One drug company says 40%

 

Any chance you could elaborate on this in a thread of its own?

Thanks,

Darin

How about if we take it up in the en - light - en - ment thread? If anyone can find it.

Edited January 13, 2009 by Starjumper7

[Lightbringer]

I think it's something like 50% of men have ED problems at some point in their lives (ie. when they are 40+).

 

As far as squirting, something occurred to me as to why you wouldn't have noticed where it was coming from specifically. When a girl has just learned she CAN squirt but isn't forcing it, the muscles aren't developed enough, so it's kind of just a delocalized gush. It just seems like she's really really wet. It's only as the muscles build up that the orgasms get more intense and squirting is a full on stream of liquid. Also, at this point, you often just get pushed out of the girl as the contraction is so strong. If you can stay in during her orgasm, and there's no stream, then she's still got plenty of exciting new experiences ahead.

[Scadder21]

I seemed to see value in what he says but there does seem he has alot of problems. Has anyone recieved any of his products since he changed everything and "ascended"?

[Taiji Bum]

I seemed to see value in what he says but there does seem he has alot of problems. Has anyone recieved any of his products since he changed everything and "ascended"?

He's claiming ascension?

[Stigweard]

ROFL

Butt sex is the most disgusting thing. grooooosssss. Concerning limp dicks, I thought they were rare but a buddy of mine sez his girl sez it's really common. Not my problem cuz I do chi kung and you know what they say about chi kung: "If you don't wake up in the morning with a hard on you're not doing it right" so I must be doing it right. So how common is ED anyway? One drug company says 40%

How about if we take it up in the en - light - en - ment thread? If anyone can find it.

 

 

En*light*enment

 

[Lightbringer]

He's claiming ascension?

 

He hasn't even claimed enlightenment. Last time I looked at the page, his new years resolution was to achieve it.

 

Or perhaps more obviously (though it eluded me until now), one can't claim ascension because ascension means no longer occupying your physical body.

Edited January 14, 2009 by Lightbringer

[Smile]

 

He hasn't even claimed enlightenment. Last time I looked at the page, his new years resolution was to achieve it.

lol

That's the spirit! Never give up!

[guycitron]

I was an Ideagasms member since nearly the very beginning.

 

Alot of times throughout my membership I could see how us vs. them mentality and sacred language was being setup.. since I had studied alot on cults before.. but somehow I was still drawn into it.. seduced by the promise of spiritual fulfillment and peaceful, enlightened relationships.

 

I never met Stephane in person, but it seems to me that he started out with some grain of wisdom to share with us all but it didn't proceed well from there. When I read that he was heavily drug addicted I wasn't really too suprised at all and I can almost imagine exactly where he is right now (having been drug addicted myself and spiritual deluded from it).

 

The main thing I want to say is that I don't regret having spent my time or money there. Even though it was a fucked up situation.. it was exactly what I needed to learn and experience at the time, as well as everyone else who was there. Learning discernment was a big lesson for me, as well as trusting my own instincts and judgements. On top of that he introduced me to a broader world of spirituality which I am also thankful for, and would not have entered if it wasn't through his path.

 

I don't know if anyone remembers this, but Stephane used to constantly say 'be your own guru'. At the time I thought this was a cop-out incase anything didnt work (I even suspected him then but didn't trust myself).. but now I see this is one of the core lessons that I actually learned and I am grateful for having learned from him.

 

Enlightenment isn't outside you.. God isn't an outer phenomenon.. it's all inside.. you ARE your own guru.. always. You just have to learn to trust yourself and the perfection which you embody.. even if you are currently being Stephane. :-)

 

-Guy

[captstav]

I was an Ideagasms member since nearly the very beginning.

......

The main thing I want to say is that I don't regret having spent my time or money there. ...... it was exactly what I needed to learn and experience at the time, as well as everyone else who was there. L earning discernment was a big lesson for me, as well as trusting my own instincts and judgements.

....

Stephane used to constantly say 'be your own guru' .... now I see this is one of the core lessons that I actually learned and I am grateful for having learned from him.

 

 

Hi there,

I started this thread about Stephane Hemon 2.5 years ago and my God, I'm surprised to see it's still going on and on, and has almost 20,000 views now !!! (Congratulations to the people maintaining this site, it's great.)

 

I wanted to quote Guycitron because I think it's rather high praise for Stephane, and Stephane is certainly getting a lot of negativity at the moment.

 

I agree with Guycitron, and I want to say that Stephane's email chains from the period 2005-2007 were absolutely brilliant. Stephane would write long advice for people (usually men) that was completely spot on. You don't build up an email list, as Stephane did, of 20k or 30k by having useless content. It was in fact pure gold. It was not plagerised - he was answering real-life problems with his advice.

 

I'm in my thirties, in 2005 I was a single divorcee. I spent money with Stephane and would have spent double, or triple, for the help he gave me.

 

Once in fact I wrote to Stephane a short email, having just found a great g/f and feeling a bit volatile, having a lot of PUA stuff in my head. Some people might agree - it's very hard when you learn PUA stuff (it works, obviously) and then have to change gears quickly, once you've met a fantastic girl. (I call it "over-achieving" - meeting the type of girl that you always wanted, always dreamed of, and acting in such a way in those first 5 dates to make sure that any attraction that she feels for you is seized upon and enhanced - that to me is the real purpose of PUA skills - then after those 5 or so dates, of course, you're in a relationship, and you're on your own - PUA skills can't help after the first week or two. Anyone who objects to PUA skills cannot object to the idea of one person helping another person to be in a relationship, and then getting married and having kids - people object to PUA stuff when the skills are abused - but the skills are not always abused. It's not the PUA's fault if the skills are abused by guys without integrity.)

 

Anyway, as I said, it can be hard to change gears from a "high gear" PUA mentality, down to a "low gear" steady monogamous relationship, for anyone. So I wrote to Stephane, and he wrote back with advice, for free. He told me what I needed to hear, referenced his relationship with Ghita, and basically took time out of his life, to help me, a 33 year old guy on the other side of the world who he'd never met.

 

I have no doubt that Stephane has been doing this for people, who now number in the thousands, for many years. Therefore, he will no doubt attract some dozen or so enemies.

 

I've never met Stephane. I saw Daisy's video about him, and I read about Greta's father.

 

(Actually I am married to a Polish girl - the same girl I was with when I asked Stephane for advice - indeed I credit Stephane with helping me to first be in, and then stay in my relationship with her. I'm 36, she's 27, and 2 months ago she gave birth to my first son. To Stephane: Thank-you always.)

 

But I didn't like it when Daisy referred to Greta as a "Polish bitch". Please. Polish girls are probably the nicest in the world. To any single guy: I recommend Polish girls if you want beauty, loyalty and love.

 

Concerning all of the allegations about Stephane, some may have a grain of truth: Stephane no doubt does feel a lot of pain inside, as do most people who are highly tuned to emotional and spiritual matters. This pain that Stephane feels may lead him to overdo it on the drug side sometimes - I don't know, I'm just guessing. But what Stephane does in his spare time isn't really my concern. I'm a lawyer. I used to take drugs. I could still do my job well. In fact I don't give a damn if Stephane Hemon takes drugs, or even if he shares drugs with girls. If he forced a girl to take drugs, or kidnapped her, that would be a crime, and I would have a huge problem with that - but (so far) no one has alleged that, to my knowledge.

 

Not paying taxes or cheating on parking meters (he and Ghita had a youtube clip about that) are morally wrong, so I don't condone that at all.

 

Some allegations I think are not true: You cannot say that he is a "cult leader" because he has a 20-30k long email chain going on. The long email chain is evidence that now or in the past people like to hear what he has to say. Dick Cheney likes to torture people, and says so to millions of people: so far, he's not been called a cult leader. Just because Stephane writes things to people, whatever he says, does not make him a cult leader.

 

Some allegations I don't know: plagerism is not good, but I've not seen evidence of word-for-word copying (which plagerism has to be). Copying ideas is not wrong per se. Stephane does credit other prople with some of his ideas - Steve Piccus for example. I'd never heard of Steve P, and now thank to Stephane I have.

 

He may display cult leader tendencies in his personal interactions with people. He may be a disagreeable person after some wine. I don't know. If so, I'm sad for Stephane. But if you are a person who has personal interaction with him, you have the choice to be in his presence, or not.

 

History is full of people who were aweful to be around, yet who wrote or created or did brilliant things. So even if you say he's terrible company, I can't say that between Stephane and me, "it's over" (in the sense of my gratitude to him).

 

There's no doubt that he shared a deep love with Ghita for many years. That should be respected, and perhaps even admired. The fact that they broke up doesn't prove anything. I'm still with my wife: is that some kind of proof? No, because when it comes to life and love, things aren't always simple. So I don't think his relationship with Ghita can be written off or used against Stephane.

 

The whole circles thing, which Stephane suddenly disavowed last year, was always extreme, and likely to appeal to those who are easily led (myself included). I didn't try the circle thing, but my wife did when she was much younger 7 or 8 years ago. She is bisexual, and when she told me about her experiences with 3-somes and 4-somes, I didn't know quite how to feel. The wrong way to feel would have been jealous or offended - and that's how I would have felt if I had not read Stephane's posts, and "gone along for the ride" with Stephane (metaphorically). So again, thanks to Stephane, I had my mind opened, and I worked through my insecure feelings.

 

Interestingly, most venom seems to have started when Stephane disvowed circles. I would guess that many guys were trying to get circles together, then suddenly lost their "leader" and felt betrayed. But Stephane always said that you have to walk before you can run. His work is powerful with many different "tracks". If you go down one track, and then get cut off, it could hurt, I suppose.

 

Concerning squirting, that is an absolute gift that Stephane has brought "to the masses" (myself included). My wife never did get to squirt, but her orgasms improved and our sex life went off the scales .... again: Thank-you Stephane.

 

Just to emphasize: I am grateful to the "professional" Stephane, who in his chosen profession has helped me get an amazing wife, and now an amazing son. I do not know the "private" or "personal" Stephane, so I must suspend my judgment. He has not (to my knowledge) been convicted of any serious crime in the last 4 years, and I do not find drug use, multiple sex partners, circles or orgasms morally offensive.

 

The fact that Stephane chose to live in a very public way via his emails and posts doesn't mean that I cannot distinguish between the "professional" Stephane and the "private" or "personal" Stephane. I do make that distinction because he helped me in his professional capacity. Therefore, the "personal" character assasination by Daisy and others falls flat with me (but is, at it's lowest level, fascinating to watch: because people are, and always will be, attracted to a scandal).

 

Like many authors and artists, over years Stephane has had periods, phases, whatever you want to call them. Again: For me, the email chain from 2005-2007 was pure gold, and simply cannot be surpassed for PUA and dating, and emotional and relationship advice.

 

I could go on, but that's probably enough, and if you've read this far, I'll be interested in your comments.

 

- Steve

Edited March 27, 2009 by captstav

[Philip]

Nice post, Steve.

 

For my own part, I was attracted to Stephane and ideagasms very recently, maybe a little more than a year ago, after coming across this very thread. Therefore, I'm coming at this from a bit of a different angle than some of you. You know, I found him intriguing. I thought he had some interesting ideas regarding spirituality. He also said more than a few things that cried foul. I also thought his products were overpriced. I was never part of any seduction or PUA community, so I don't know what the price-point for the rest of the market is like, but since I'm a multi-media producer in my day job, I know how cheap it is these days to put out quality audio and video products (especially if you do it yourself), so $100 for a DVD is more than I'm interested in paying. Also, not sure we can credit him with "bringing squirting to the masses." I found out about these techniques a good while before 2005 through other channels. There have been many such channels out there for some time.

 

Still, the guy grew on me, if for nothing else, just as an interesting diversion. I must say I really dig the idea of the seven deadly sins as being "ego programs," though his black-or-white attitude about people being integrous or non-integrous always bugged me. Human development is far more complex than that.

 

I'm still not sure how I feel about the watching the whole thing kind of implode like it has. He seems to defend himself in e-mails more often than not these days, and this whole meditation sabbatical he's supposed to be on, and meditating 9 hours one day ... I don't know, I'm calling BS on it. Part of me finds it funny, and as Steve points out, the controversy itself is attractive in some visceral way. However, I can't help but feel bad for the guy. I mean, props to him for putting himself out there. I hope he finds some peace in the midst of all this turmoil.

 

Philip

Edited March 27, 2009 by Philip

[Taiji Bum]

Philip and Steve,

Do you guys have an recent info on his search for ascension?

Darin

[Philip]

Philip and Steve,

Do you guys have an recent info on his search for ascension?

Darin

 

Not sure how the ascension is actually going, but his e-mails of late are pretty amusing. They could be completely legit ... I just tend to be skeptical about them.

 

Earlier this month, he sent an e-mail saying he and Greta were going offline to meditate for three weeks straight, stopping only to eat, sleep, and screw. That e-mail then predictably turned into a sales pitch for one of his products, one for which he is temporarily dropping the price in half.

 

About 10 days later he sends one that gives a pretty good description of meditation and gradual progress, of having an aha moment, then being drug back into the mental projections about said moment. The guy does talk a good game, but again, he's not really saying anything I haven't read elsewhere before. He does mention something about being able to leave your body, but he hardly sounds ascended.

 

He then sends another e-mail about how he meditated for 9 hours straight that day ... I don't suppose I have any real reason to disbelieve the guy. He does give some decent pointers in this one that border on an original presentation. Of course, all of these e-mails end up as sales pitches, which is fine. I know that's the business model ... just something to be aware of.

 

Finally, maybe a week ago or less, he sends out links to two responses (one his and one greta's) about all the "hate" going around. I dunno, it all rings a bit foul to me, cuz if I declare an offline sabbatical for meditation purposes until X date, I'm most likely not going deal with online issues until X date.

 

So today I get one that says, thanks to the brilliant momentum of their meditations, he's putting everything in the ideagasms store on sale, saying, "I realize there is some kind of financial crisis going on all over the world, at least this is what I have heard, so hopefully this will cut people some slack. It will also give me another break and allow me to meditate for as long as it takes, so if you bought something at full-price, please forgive me for putting on these specials, and know that your hard earned money has allowed my wife and I to seek Enlightenment with very few distractions."

 

I dunno, again, no particular reason to distrust the guy, but I find it comical and I'm glad I never spent any money with him. Prolly more than you needed to know, but that's where it stands with his search for ascension ... at least according to his newsletters.

 

Philip

Edited March 27, 2009 by Philip