wishing to hear advice and wisdom

[alect]

I am 19 years old. This has been a very difficult period for me. If you've viewed my other posts, you'd see that spiritually it has been trying, energetically difficult, socially awkward, and karmically bizarre. My mind has a tendency to race, I have difficulty relaxing around people, and I feel unsure about my future at times. Though I have great trust it will all be ok no matter what, I'm frustrated.

I find myself striving for the Tao. Striving to relax. If I just don't try at all, I end up tensing up and losing any ground I made inside of myself. I want to go with the flow, but whenever I do, I get excited. When I have clarity, it sometimes scares me and I feel afraid unless I'm alone and in seclusion. It's obvious on an intellectual level just by reading this back that I have obviously created this pattern for myself, in many ways. But there are other insights I've gained from my meditation that show me it's part of my nature from childhood. Eh, I don't know.

Basically, I'll get in loops. Sometimes I'm obsessed with my body, and it drives me crazy. Sometimes my mind is like an obnoxiously loud radio station. I get overwhelmingly emotional at work sometimes and have to find a place shed a few tears or throw a few punches.

Do I just ride it out? I get worried that there might be something wrong with me, with the mind racing and some of the mania (as I've described in other topics.) I enjoy doing Qi Gong and meditating and doing spiritual practice. In fact, I do really well. I have great sensations and experiences in all of them. I find that when I try to carry those feelings and parts of myself into the world with me, they will abandon me or I will scare them away.

Overall, I'm asking for some words of solace or encouragement from older Bums.

Is there such thing as too little ego?

Should I strive for more?

Is there such thing as a middle ground?

Am I fool for asking these questions on a forum?

Thanks!

[RiverSnake]

I enjoy doing Qi Gong and meditating and doing spiritual practice.

 

I have been where your at...Keep practicing.

 

-Good luck, Chris

[Protector]

Whenever life seems too tough, come back to the most basic of life. Breathe.

 

Learn about wu wei

[Gerard]

Keep practicing.

 

+ 1, and don't forget to smile at the world even if you think is being unfair to you.

 

Never give up this is not an easy path but what you do know that benefits your internal cultivation will certainly have future consequences.

 

Make sure there is external movement in your practice, combine static with active methods to avoid Qi stagnation.

 

Good luck.

[Bubbles]

Hello alect,

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Besides what others have told you, my two cents are that doing some zhan zhuang (Lam kam chuen book _the way of energy- and there are some vids on you tube also under the name stand still be fit) can dramatically help you to soothe the emotions.

I am talking from experience

 

Take care

[Jetsun]

I think a lot of these concepts like Wu Wei and flow like water can't really be done by you as such rather they flow through you, if you are thinking that you "should" be going with the flow and relaxing then that "should" creates a split between the way you actually are and the way you want to be, which only results in more tension and stress. I think the only way to get into flow and Wu Wei is to accept where you are at in it's entirety and let go, but the paradox is that this is not something you can actively do as that doing will come from an ego wish for things to be different, so it can only be done by not doing.

 

edit: I should also add that at your age your body and mind may still be going through a lot of natural changes which just need time to settle down

Edited September 29, 2011 by Jetsun

[Jetsun]

Is there such thing as too little ego?

Should I strive for more?

Is there such thing as a middle ground?

Am I fool for asking these questions on a forum?

Thanks!

 

Spiritual practice is best done from a place of strong healthy ego, don't listen to people who say that the ego is a completely bad thing, it is an utterly necessary stage of growth. If I could go back and give myself advice it would be to focus on integration not transmutation and self acceptance not transformation. A certain amount of selfishness is a good thing in the right way, most problems come from needs not being met so it is everyones interests for you to try to get them satisfied.

[Marblehead]

edit: I should also add that at your age your body and mind may still be going through a lot of natural changes which just need time to settle down

 

A very important consideration.

[.broken.]

But there are other insights I've gained from my meditation that show me it's part of my nature from childhood.

 

Keep going If it's something you picked up in childhood it means you can unlearn it.

[manitou]

My suggestion would be to make time for meditation daily - the type of meditation where you learn to still the inner dialogue, find the emptiness. It will take years, but this is a perfect time to start. Until the inner dialogue is quelled (you indicated that your mind races) you will not be able to find serenity or the peace you are searching for. As you gain control over your own thoughts and your own mindsets (for example, trying not to judge anyone) the peace will be a by-product.

 

But just the fact that you start meditating to quiet that mind will be a huge step in the right direction, IMO.

[Harmonious Emptiness]

(edited to remove quote)

 

I second Manitou's advice above about practicing sitting meditation. Just sit with a straight back, ears over relaxed shoulders, start with your palms face down on your lap. It's not easy at the start to just do nothing, much harder than it sounds so it is actually doing something. You could practice by just lying down with no radio or anything for 20 minutes just to get past the first part. This is like the home base of any spiritual practice.

 

For it to carry into the rest of the day, it helps to maintain the same relaxed but erect posture. Posture often tells the mind how to feel so keeping a relaxed and straight posture helps to do the same with the emotions and mind.

 

As for ego, to understand anything you need a point of reference, ie., yourself, so a bit of ego is necessary in the meaning that ego means self. What is not ego is false-ego or super-ego which basically plays make-believe about who it really is. This is not evil, it's a mistake. People that say "the self does not exist" are looking much deeper to the point that they see this whole existence does not exist but is like a dream. That is not something that we can just go "oh, yeah, right" right off the top, so don't worry too much about that. And to be one with the Tao, just don't worry about adding all these things to the ego and you'll be on your way. Really being one with the Tao is an incredibly high attainment which people fast for weeks and such before they do. But being one with who you are is like a micro-cosm of this, let that part approach you first.

 

Also, wu-wei is mostly about trying too hard, using more effort than is necessary. You need to make some effort just to stand still, but to be tense and flex all your muscles is not necessary. It also applies to meeting people.. don't try to force them to like you, or to force them to hang out with you, and you will practicing wu-wei.. this is also a better way to interact as it more morally correct and considerate.

 

It's hard to have no false-ego in the real world since everything tells us to envy everyone else and to be superman. That causes confusion for everyone that falls into it.

 

My advice for being social -- be "fun-loving." Love to have fun. A good piece of advice I once recieved "if you want to be happy, hang around happy people."

 

got to go

 

peace

 

HE

Edited September 29, 2011 by Harmonious Emptiness

[spiraltao]

I love the idea of lying flat down to initiate inner quiet or nothingness/stillness!

 

Great tip!

[Clarity]

You are not a fool, you're 19.

 

One thing you can do if you want to stop the parade of thinking and emotions; stop your breath and tense your centerline with your mind for a few seconds. Then send your mind away to other dimensions, other time and space, other energy fields, places unknown, and black holes.

 

Just for fun, I've sent my mind to the Oort cloud. Let me tell you, it's pretty damn cold out there!

[alect]

A lot of this has been nice to read. I will reply to some now. Thanks everyone.

[alect]

Hello alect,

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Besides what others have told you, my two cents are that doing some zhan zhuang (Lam kam chuen book _the way of energy- and there are some vids on you tube also under the name stand still be fit) can dramatically help you to soothe the emotions.

I am talking from experience

 

Take care

I actually looked up some zhan zhuang today and did some. It felt really quite good and taught me how to stand more naturally. I also can get away with doing some of it at work when standing behind the counter.

[alect]

Spiritual practice is best done from a place of strong healthy ego, don't listen to people who say that the ego is a completely bad thing, it is an utterly necessary stage of growth. If I could go back and give myself advice it would be to focus on integration not transmutation and self acceptance not transformation. A certain amount of selfishness is a good thing in the right way, most problems come from needs not being met so it is everyones interests for you to try to get them satisfied.

This was very comforting and sensical advice. Even today after praying on self acceptance and asking myself more questions I feel quite good. Also a little frustrated.

[alect]

My suggestion would be to make time for meditation daily - the type of meditation where you learn to still the inner dialogue, find the emptiness. It will take years, but this is a perfect time to start. Until the inner dialogue is quelled (you indicated that your mind races) you will not be able to find serenity or the peace you are searching for. As you gain control over your own thoughts and your own mindsets (for example, trying not to judge anyone) the peace will be a by-product.

 

But just the fact that you start meditating to quiet that mind will be a huge step in the right direction, IMO.

I actually have meditated everyday for quite some time. At least for thirty minutes but I've started going into 4 hour cycles. Sitting, laying, and standing meditation, several different kinds.

[alect]

(edited to remove quote)

 

I second Manitou's advice above about practicing sitting meditation. Just sit with a straight back, ears over relaxed shoulders, start with your palms face down on your lap. It's not easy at the start to just do nothing, much harder than it sounds so it is actually doing something. You could practice by just lying down with no radio or anything for 20 minutes just to get past the first part. This is like the home base of any spiritual practice.

 

For it to carry into the rest of the day, it helps to maintain the same relaxed but erect posture. Posture often tells the mind how to feel so keeping a relaxed and straight posture helps to do the same with the emotions and mind.

 

As for ego, to understand anything you need a point of reference, ie., yourself, so a bit of ego is necessary in the meaning that ego means self. What is not ego is false-ego or super-ego which basically plays make-believe about who it really is. This is not evil, it's a mistake. People that say "the self does not exist" are looking much deeper to the point that they see this whole existence does not exist but is like a dream. That is not something that we can just go "oh, yeah, right" right off the top, so don't worry too much about that. And to be one with the Tao, just don't worry about adding all these things to the ego and you'll be on your way. Really being one with the Tao is an incredibly high attainment which people fast for weeks and such before they do. But being one with who you are is like a micro-cosm of this, let that part approach you first.

 

Also, wu-wei is mostly about trying too hard, using more effort than is necessary. You need to make some effort just to stand still, but to be tense and flex all your muscles is not necessary. It also applies to meeting people.. don't try to force them to like you, or to force them to hang out with you, and you will practicing wu-wei.. this is also a better way to interact as it more morally correct and considerate.

 

It's hard to have no false-ego in the real world since everything tells us to envy everyone else and to be superman. That causes confusion for everyone that falls into it.

 

My advice for being social -- be "fun-loving." Love to have fun. A good piece of advice I once recieved "if you want to be happy, hang around happy people."

 

got to go

 

peace

 

HE

As I replied to manitou, I have done quite a bit of mediation that, at times, has actually led me to that "dream-like existence," you have described. That's a feeling that comes and goes for me and it can be alarming, but I assume it requires great practice to reach a stage where you are always inside of that space; even so, would one want to be? I can't say I know what being one with the Tao means, though I'm sure one who practices so extensively must be quite auspicious.

I simply want to ease my suffering and avoid becoming permanently damaged and scarred as much as some of the people I have seen in the world. But that attitude in itself is somewhat judgmental and negative.

I guess it depends on what you want.

Which leads me to be grateful for your advice regarding, "wu-wei towards others." I have tendency to want people to accept me in the ways I accept them. I really like people, and love them for who they are much of the time, though I do face resentment and other unkind feelings at times.

I find positive people, whether they are relaxed or tense, happy or sad tend to be best for me. As long as they make a point to be positive and try their best to be kind.

Thank you for the post

[alect]

You are not a fool, you're 19.

 

One thing you can do if you want to stop the parade of thinking and emotions; stop your breath and tense your centerline with your mind for a few seconds. Then send your mind away to other dimensions, other time and space, other energy fields, places unknown, and black holes.

 

Just for fun, I've sent my mind to the Oort cloud. Let me tell you, it's pretty damn cold out there!

I do these things sometime . It's very fun but I find that it costs me a lot of energy and I usually feel drained and somewhat kooky afterwards. I will meditate for a little bit, or sometimes pray my way there. Sometimes I even get times like this in my dreams.

The best thing is what I can most properly describe as a karmic or spiritual force that comes to wrap me in its love and warmth. It's almost like a entity that communicates with me outside of words or even physical language. I can call about it at times, but I'm pretty sure it spends some sort of reserve spiritual energy so I have to save it for when I really need it.

[Protector]