Confidence practice instead of Well-being practice

[Everything]

It seems that allot of practice are strongly related to passive, well-being, stress reduction, flexibility over tense, adaptable over persistent. Perhaps because my perspective is so limited.

 

This will not develop any confidence it seems. It does not develop your fear management ability but only anger management.

 

What practices help you do more courage in your life and transform fear into confidence, and in what way? I ask this because transforming anger into well-being has never been a problem for me personally. It seems useless to give priority to this aspect of my life. I've also seen anxious people avoid their fear by choosing the passive life and focusing even more on their already perfected ability of tranforming anger/sadness into well-being.

 

I'm most of all just curious which practices develop invite more confidence in people's lives and how.

[alexandrov]

your perspective is not limited at all

 

in fact its superpractical despite what many so called spiritual people may tell you

 

for me the practice that increased my confidence more then any type of meditation, chi-gung, semen retention or anything was very simple

 

it consists of hitting on a lot of random women

 

recently ive considered public speaking as well http://www.toastmasters.org/tips.asp

 

toastmasters has free events that you can practice your public speaking at or so ive heard

 

basically do anything that your afraid of. If youve been afraid of something your whole life you probably have a lot of emotional blockages concerning that particular thing your afraid of. By facing that thing you will release such blockages and go through an emotional and psychic trauma/transformation. cultivation many times is a lot simpler then many will have you believe. Whats more practical to visualize a circumstance or event or actually go out in the real world and face it in the flesh and blood?

 

 

a lot of times you have the confidence to do these things its just that your not used to doing them so you have the perception that you do not have the confidence to do them ime. And this creates a whole host of problems

 

if you know you have a particular deficit in your life my advice is man up and face it full force, dont sit back and make excuses as to why its not important to face. Many people do this. Dont tell yourself that facing whatever fear you have is unecessary or unspiritual and to live a spiritual life you need to lock yourself in a closet and not worry about your social skills etc. If you have a thorn in your side follow your intuition and work to get that thorn out. Dont die an old man full of regret.

 

only then will your inner dragon be released and you will be able to persue all other things in your life more fully and efficiently

[thelerner]

What practices help you do more courage in your life and transform fear into confidence, and in what way?

 

Hmnn, I'd say going to strange seminars and events. Going to Kunlun in Phoenix meeting up with some Bums before it, going hiking and doing the seminar with them. Putting on a long black skirt(hakama) and doing martial arts in it. Winter misogi training that involved walking into ice filled rivers. Finding the Full Moon Meditation group in Chicago, doing 3 bouts of 45 minute meditation then 15 minutes dancing. Going to the Burning Man retreats.

 

Its scary and inconvenient, but it forces one out of there comfort zone. I can't think of any solo home bound exercises that do that. In short courage comes from leaving the nest and doing/joining something that stretches and challenges you. You carry on the feeling if you could do that, then the mundane stuff is just stuff.

Edited October 28, 2011 by thelerner

[Protector]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh how many times are you gonna ask the same question?

I explained it to you like 4 times

 

NO SOUP FOR YOU

[RiverSnake]

Let go of Confidence. Let go of Insecurity. Approach all of life with Beginners Mind.

 

-My 2 cents, Peace

[manitou]

to remove fear from my life I use love on everything. I also embrace death by picking up road kill and placing it back in the life cycle. The fear of death seems to be at the bottom of all fears - when death is understood as the process that it is, it takes the fear out of it, and everything else.

 

One of the exercises I regularly use is when my husband is driving I remove my seat belt, close my eyes, and surrender totally to his driving, lol. Not that it's that bad, it's just that when you can't see what's coming up it can be pretty scary. Whenever he swerves to the right, I pretend that I'm here and in body. When he makes a left turn, I pretend that I'm dead and out of body. The switch is made instantaneously, almost like you're flying. Because we live on such winding streets it's quite a trip, in and out of here-ness.

 

But if you think about it, this gives you a recognizable template that will be familiar to you at the moment of death; to have that familiarity with death, at least knowing what to expect to some degree, removes fear. Befriend death. As Castaneda would say, use it as an advisor.

 

To 'love' everything is to accept the fact that It is evolving, and It knows what it's doing. Believing the universe is really a friendly place and it can be trusted to always be evolving upward, despite occasional appearances to the contrary.

[Protector]

 

One of the exercises I regularly use is when my husband is driving I remove my seat belt, close my eyes, and surrender totally to his driving, lol. Not that it's that bad, it's just that when you can't see what's coming up it can be pretty scary. Whenever he swerves to the right, I pretend that I'm here and in body. When he makes a left turn, I pretend that I'm dead and out of body. The switch is made instantaneously, almost like you're flying. Because we live on such winding streets it's quite a trip, in and out of here-ness.

 

 

that's... that's uhh... don't let him see this

[Everything]

to remove fear from my life I use love on everything. I also embrace death by picking up road kill and placing it back in the life cycle. The fear of death seems to be at the bottom of all fears - when death is understood as the process that it is, it takes the fear out of it, and everything else.

 

One of the exercises I regularly use is when my husband is driving I remove my seat belt, close my eyes, and surrender totally to his driving, lol. Not that it's that bad, it's just that when you can't see what's coming up it can be pretty scary. Whenever he swerves to the right, I pretend that I'm here and in body. When he makes a left turn, I pretend that I'm dead and out of body. The switch is made instantaneously, almost like you're flying. Because we live on such winding streets it's quite a trip, in and out of here-ness.

 

But if you think about it, this gives you a recognizable template that will be familiar to you at the moment of death; to have that familiarity with death, at least knowing what to expect to some degree, removes fear. Befriend death. As Castaneda would say, use it as an advisor.

 

To 'love' everything is to accept the fact that It is evolving, and It knows what it's doing. Believing the universe is really a friendly place and it can be trusted to always be evolving upward, despite occasional appearances to the contrary.

I approve

 

This is what went trough my head when reading your post:

 

Hold death in mind at all times... Code of Samurai I think. The calm void that allows you to observe, sense and anticipate.

 

I think you should also have some kind of map of the road and give your husband instructions like that polish woman in the left seat.

Pretty good nerves she got. When they bumped against something, digital communication broke off and she had to shout all the way to the end. What dedication

[Taomeow]

I have to agree with Thelerner.

 

Into my life confidence comes from competence. Competence, to me, means internalized and integrated experience. Knowing who I am and who I'm not, and knowing what I know for sure and what I don't know for sure. If you neither mistake one for the other nor fake one or the other, confidence runs deep -- nothing can make a dent. If you make a decision instead to behave a certain way and not to behave a certain different way, confidence acquired this way is superficial and can only hold up to minor tests but will collapse under serious ones.

 

Which is why I don't do stuff like "transforming anger" before I let myself know and feel I really am angry instead of disowning my own feelings in a hurry just because they are not approved by a system of this or that indoctrination. I feel entitled to know what it is I really feel, to be aware. I'm human. Feeling anger when things happen that warrant it is human. Not letting any doctrine take any of your humanity away is divine.

 

As for fear, the remedy is courage, and whatever falls short is, again, superficial. Cultivate courage and honesty and you will be one very confident camper. It is very attractive, by the way, when people acknowledge rather than hide their own limitations. Being honest and courageous is something quite a few will find naturally attractive. And being perceived as attractive not because you decided that you should (i.e. faking it out of insecurity) but because whatever you are when you are yourself is perceived this way has a side effect of making you attractive to others, which will nurture your confidence in its turn.

[Harmonious Emptiness]

There is a saying about a herb used in tea by European mid-wives and herbalists: "Borage for courage."

 

It sort of rinses the kidneys and stimulates the adrenals a bit (and has toxic pyrrolizidine alkaloids, so be cautious.

 

The kidneys are associated with courage and the water element.

 

When you face something frightening [boo!] (uahhahahhhh..h.h..), being rigid and tense makes one less responsive and adaptive. Something in motion responds faster. Loosening up helps the feeling of responsiveness. Naturally, exercise regimens help people feel confident as they feel responsive rather than inert, and their immune system is better able to adapt to changes in the environment.

 

Slow systems like Qi Gong help people to adapt to the vast and expansive...

[Everything]

I wanted to add that with transforming anger/fear I was not talking about supressing anger or pretending its not there.

Edited October 29, 2011 by Everything

[manitou]

I approve

 

This is what went trough my head when reading your post:

 

Hold death in mind at all times... Code of Samurai I think. The calm void that allows you to observe, sense and anticipate.

 

I think you should also have some kind of map of the road and give your husband instructions like that polish woman in the left seat.

Pretty good nerves she got. When they bumped against something, digital communication broke off and she had to shout all the way to the end. What dedication

 

She was awesome in her unflappability, lol. That was one hysterical analogy. Yes, I should shout out left and right directions to him while blindfolded. It would totally deplete me of any residual fear of death.....

[thelerner]

to remove fear from my life I use love on everything. I also embrace death by picking up road kill and placing it back in the life cycle. The fear of death seems to be at the bottom of all fears - when death is understood as the process that it is, it takes the fear out of it, and everything else.

 

One of the exercises I regularly use is when my husband is driving I remove my seat belt, close my eyes, and surrender totally to his driving, lol.

 

The first part is pretty deep, I don't think I'd have the nerve.

 

 

The second part reminds me of an Arab proverb and its modern translation: Trust in God but tie up the camel. The modernization being- trust in husband but use the seat belt

[Josama]

For practices that increase confidence try tummo or any practices that strengthens groundind and/ir downward flow like any martial arts,sports or chi sinking.

Confidence is related to root and solarplexus chakra and grounding so any practices that strenghten these should also strengthen your confidence.

 

Although nothing gives as fast and profound results as facing situations head-on

[manitou]

The first part is pretty deep, I don't think I'd have the nerve.

 

 

The second part reminds me of an Arab proverb and its modern translation: Trust in God but tie up the camel. The modernization being- trust in husband but use the seat belt

 

That's kind of what makes it fun. Knowing that you're breaking the law at the same time you're whizzing through space with your eyes closed. Adds that extra element of danger. I say leave the camel loose.

Edited October 29, 2011 by manitou

[Everything]

That's kind of what makes it fun. Knowing that you're breaking the law at the same time you're whizzing through space with your eyes closed. Adds that extra element of danger. I say leave the camel loose.

Sounds exciting, but thats not the way to go. Sure, its one step further then being completely passive, but impulsivitiy means that you let fear decide for you. I think not wearing a seatbelt wont even give you the chance of learning wether it is a mistake or not. You become human soup in an accident. Know you are afraid, but fear god even more then death. After death, god will show you how your decision for not wearing a seatbelt was extremely childish. He will cast you down towards earth and you will have to do it all over again.

God is everywhere, all knowing. God's watching us all day long.

 

You might get injured, and your husband might loose his guide.

Edited October 29, 2011 by Everything

[manitou]

Sounds exciting, but thats not the way to go. Sure, its one step further then being completely passive, but impulsivitiy means that you let fear decide for you. I think not wearing a seatbelt wont even give you the chance of learning wether it is a mistake or not. You become human soup in an accident. Know you are afraid, but fear god even more then death. After death, god will show you how your decision for not wearing a seatbelt was extremely childish. He will cast you down towards earth and you will have to do it all over again.

God is everywhere, all knowing. God's watching us all day long.

 

You might get injured, and your husband might loose his guide.

 

 

but that's the very thing that I'm going for. To be willing to be human soup without being afraid of being human soup. The Tao doesn't care which of us lives and dies - we're all straw dogs. I'm not looking for death; rather, I wish to become friendly with it. It also helps me to help others to cross over; if understanding is gained then fear is diminished.

 

I know I'm way out there. Thanks for your tolerance, everyone and Everything.

[3bob]

but that's the very thing that I'm going for. To be willing to be human soup without being afraid of being human soup. The Tao doesn't care which of us lives and dies - we're all straw dogs. I'm not looking for death; rather, I wish to become friendly with it. It also helps me to help others to cross over; if understanding is gained then fear is diminished.

 

I know I'm way out there. Thanks for your tolerance, everyone and Everything.

 

I'd add or say the "Tao" which also takes on or acts as a motherly like force holds the thread of every soul in her grand weaving as being both dear and near. Further more, through-out her cosmic weaving is a never ending yet always new and unbreakable song - since she to is part of and sings with a force of love that is so deep and pure that upon hearing it our hearts are broken with joy!

 

"The Tao is hidden and nameless; Yet it alone knows how to render help and to fulfill"

 

Om

[manitou]

I'd add or say the "Tao" which also takes on or acts as a motherly like force holds the thread of every soul in her grand weaving as being both dear and near. Further more, through-out her cosmic weaving is a never ending yet always new and unbreakable song - since she to is part of and sings with a force of love that is so deep and pure that upon hearing it our hearts are broken with joy!

 

"The Tao is hidden and nameless; Yet it alone knows how to render help and to fulfill"

 

Om

 

Yes, I agree with every word of this. Motherly force is a wonderful image, and one that includes the concept of love within in. Somehow 'love' and 'mutual attraction' are the same within her cosmic weave.

 

The other side of the coin seems to be that the rain falls equally upon all.

[3bob]

Yes, I agree with every word of this. Motherly force is a wonderful image, and one that includes the concept of love within in. Somehow 'love' and 'mutual attraction' are the same within her cosmic weave.

 

The other side of the coin seems to be that the rain falls equally upon all.