Blinding Desire for Past Mind-States

[ATMA]

I'm currently battling with a desire for a past mind-state. As i metaphorically chronicled in my 'shifting stairway' thread. I can only describe it as a kind of "bi-polar enlightenment'.

 

Doing spiritual work I reach 'enlightened' states where I understand and exist in a much better way. It's great. I can feel truth and silent knowledge. In place. One. Progressing the right direction.

However do to circumstance or something, I have slipped back into a more primitive state of duality in which I am struggling to kill the desire of wanting to be back in those superior mind-states. It's a self defeating prophecy IE wanting the mind-state prevents the mind-state. It's tiring and makes me impatient and doubtful and weak.

 

I've tried to think back to my journey but it's like I've forgotten the revelations which caused my transcendence... I get fleeting glimpses and 'shift' into correct thought patterns for short amounts of time. I know this is duality and a battle with desire and the only way to cease the desire is to stop trying to cease it. Right? There's only a storm because I'm trying to make it calm. However this approach of 'letting go of dicipline' is what got me into this lull in the first place. I needed to try it for 'possible further progress' but it only sent me backwards and I'm trying to get out of it now as i've realized that approach is wrong for me.

 

I'm just curious if any of you have experienced this 'bi-polar enlightenment' and if you have techniques for dealing with it or interesting tales of the past.

 

Is being spiritual always a struggle? Does it get easier?

Should I start the same approach which brought me here? Or try a new approach?

 

Ommmmmm.

Edited November 7, 2011 by ATMA

[XieJia]

2 Cents.

 

Understand

Accept

Let Go.

 

The Way be with you,

You be the Way.

[C T]

Awareness is more than the contents... watch the clip below pleeeeze!

Edited November 7, 2011 by C T

[C T]

Free Awareness ~ What Is Bliss?

 

[manitou]

Hi ATMA - nice subject!

 

When you refer to a superior mindset when you are in your blissful and aware state, this is understandable. Certainly it is superior to just the normal push-and-grab existence that most men engage in from day to day.

 

But the idea of 'superior' also can have a bit of ego in it. For those who have done inner work for many years, it's very possible to keep the mindset 'out there'. When we realize who we really are, at our essence, we realize that the essence we get down to by doing the inner work and going through personality is the very thing that we become capable of recognizing in others, no matter how hateful they are being.

 

Maybe it's as simple as 'once you have the shine, you can see the shine'.

 

Encephalon will be starting a thread on the 12 steps and Buddhism, up in the Buddhism area. I'm very anxious to engage in this thread and watch the dynamics come together. We can all benefit from inner work, like....what are my motivations? What part did I play in this screwed-up situation? Why must I always push the blame on others? Why can't I feel any love for myself? (other than when I'm meditating). Are my actions selfish or selfless? It's a perfect framework in which to remove the negative from within ourselves so the shine can appear.

 

The inner work is what turns the words of any of the world's tomes into a living thing. The words are no longer read as something outside of ourselves; we realize that we are indeed the Sage or the Buddha - only we have to do a little work to find him within.

[Birch]

Were the mind-states more or less pleasant than what you'd call the others?

My take on this one is to honor them all equally as each has something for me in it. If for example i never get unhappy then i might not change the circumstances I'm in (or my attitude for that matter). Add that some of them are not places to engage with other people from. Hopefully the guy in the video would be able to wipe the grin off at a funeral:-)

[Harmonious Emptiness]

edit

 

I can relate to where a compassionate, lightened (though maybe not Enlightened), serene state fades when I neglect practices, and then the following condition seems worse in contrast.

 

Though spiritual practice in many ways is about ease, easing physical mental and emotional tension, easing our relationships to people and situations, still it's important not to leave the "practice" out of spiritual practice, and holistic practice is probably most effective. For example, to fight a cold, you could rest, drink herbal teas, and do things that keep you in a positive frame of mind to keep you immune system strong.

 

For a holistic spiritual practice, you could include reading and scriptures, sitting meditation, qi gong, and compassionate generosity, journal writing, etc

 

The negative states can push you to be consistent in disciplined practice, so sometimes they serve a purpose too.

Edited November 7, 2011 by Harmonious Emptiness

[deci belle]

However due to circumstance or something, I have slipped back into a more primitive state of duality in which I am struggling to kill the desire of wanting to be back in those superior mind-states.

 

Don't cling to one and reject the other; strive to be unminding in all situations. Reflect on the situation, not your states. When making ski-descents on dangerous terrain, you focus on where you want to go. You do not focus on where you don't want to go~ rocks and trees hurt!!❤

 

ed note: change second word from "desire" to "cling to".

Edited November 7, 2011 by deci belle

[C T]

Hopefully the guy in the video would be able to wipe the grin off at a funeral:-)

 

Traditional Buddhist funerals are often celebratory in nature.

[Birch]

Traditional Buddhist funerals are often celebratory in nature.

Right, so no worries in that culture:-)

[AЯAB]

First off anyways please correct me if I am wrong because I could be talking out of my a** XD. The way I see it the ego is one tricky bastard, being on a spiritual journey can be like drugs for the ego. I've had so many times where I feel like I understood everything, enlightenment, bla bla bla but than poof back to normal. Spiritual highs, they can feel so real but the thing is they don't last. I myself don't know how to distinguish between true feelings of bliss/enlightenment and spiritual highs. DAMN EGO!!!!! blame it on the ego, it's the easy way out XD

 

 

p.s. ignorance is bliss

[Birch]

My 2cts = know yourself.

Just because your mind can "take you there" doesn't IMO/IME mean it's where you ought to go:-)

And whatever anyone says. Do your own discovery :-)

[manitou]

My 2 cents = know yourself, as well. It's the path to self-realization.

[Informer]

Sounds like you are swinging back and forth from opposite ends of the spectrum creating a roller coaster ride. Too much swinging back and forth would create a dizzying experience for me. I just refuse to swing to either side, no up or down.

 

I think that over intellectualizing swings you so high that you come crashing back. Find the heart, it can't be exhausted as easily as the rest

[Aaron]

I'm currently battling with a desire for a past mind-state. As i metaphorically chronicled in my 'shifting stairway' thread. I can only describe it as a kind of "bi-polar enlightenment'.

 

Doing spiritual work I reach 'enlightened' states where I understand and exist in a much better way. It's great. I can feel truth and silent knowledge. In place. One. Progressing the right direction.

However do to circumstance or something, I have slipped back into a more primitive state of duality in which I am struggling to kill the desire of wanting to be back in those superior mind-states. It's a self defeating prophecy IE wanting the mind-state prevents the mind-state. It's tiring and makes me impatient and doubtful and weak.

 

I've tried to think back to my journey but it's like I've forgotten the revelations which caused my transcendence... I get fleeting glimpses and 'shift' into correct thought patterns for short amounts of time. I know this is duality and a battle with desire and the only way to cease the desire is to stop trying to cease it. Right? There's only a storm because I'm trying to make it calm. However this approach of 'letting go of dicipline' is what got me into this lull in the first place. I needed to try it for 'possible further progress' but it only sent me backwards and I'm trying to get out of it now as i've realized that approach is wrong for me.

 

I'm just curious if any of you have experienced this 'bi-polar enlightenment' and if you have techniques for dealing with it or interesting tales of the past.

 

Is being spiritual always a struggle? Does it get easier?

Should I start the same approach which brought me here? Or try a new approach?

 

Ommmmmm.

 

My brother goes to this cigar shop where he has a lot of friends. These friends are in constant competition with each other, not in an actual battle per se, but rather in a battle of appearances. They quantify their existence according to what they own and how much. They compare cutters, lighters, cigars, clothes, etc. None of them are ever winning, because it is always based on perceptions and even if most agree that someone has the most expensive cutter, someone invariably finds flaw in it.

 

The problem that many have with spiritual pursuits is that they begin to quantify that experience, saying, "this experience was better than this one" or "I was closer to achieving enlightenment then, than I am now" and the list goes on. When we experience something it is our own experience and no one else's. If I decide my experience within light and silence was better than my awareness of the connection of all things in existence, then what I am doing, is not diminishing the potential or non-potential of each experience, but avoiding the actual experience because it was not enough to satisfy me.

 

The key to being aware and learning is to be aware and learn, not to place value on what we learn, but accept that what we learn is merely what it is and that we cannot change what it actually is, only our perception of what it is.

 

You are real because I observe you. I am real because you observe me, but in observing each other, that doesn't change that we exist because we realize our own existence, nor does that change the fact that our existence could be drastically different for us if we experience it in a different way, just understand that the person that experiences that in a drastically different way is no more you, then the you that experienced all those things in the past. The real you is here right now in this moment and that is what you should be searching for.

 

Aaron

Edited November 8, 2011 by Twinner

[ATMA]

The real you is here right now in this moment and that is what you should be searching for.

 

Ommmmmm.