A Troubled Mind

[Tatsumaru]

Solid advice by everyone. Thank you.

 

I don't know Jetsun. Effortless is to lie in your bed and die there. And in fact that would require effort too.

 

I know what I want, when I say I didn't I referred to myself in the past. I just don't seem to be motivated to do anything.

 

Maybe its Feng Shui and I'm constantly depleted of some valuable energy for motivation etc.

[Tatsumaru]

Look at a glass of water. It seems ordinary and at the same time the water itself is so strange. If water could be created out of nothing (Big Bang or whatever), then surely one should be capable of great deals.

Edited November 28, 2011 by Tatsumaru

[Jetsun]

For me most of my resistance to accomplishing anything and my self sabotage comes from passive aggression, probably rooted in childhood patterns of trying to resist manipulation and control by other people, so I am still living through old outdated dynamics from my childhood unfortunately, I don;t know if this is relevant to you but it's what your first post reminded me of in myself. It's true we are capable of achieving amazing things but we have to deal with where we are at first.

[Clarity]

You are struggling with a load of negative life experiences.

 

Your ancestors have a lot of experience causing others to struggle and fail.

 

And you have many experiences of struggling (from your spiritual experiences).

 

You can't really get to where you want to be by struggling, battling, or using effort.

 

These things can be cleared at an energetic level.

 

Much faster to clear them than it is to spend years meditating and struggling with your spirit.

[crispy91]

You are struggling with a load of negative life experiences.

 

Your ancestors have a lot of experience causing others to struggle and fail.

 

And you have many experiences of struggling (from your spiritual experiences).

 

You can't really get to where you want to be by struggling, battling, or using effort.

These things can be cleared at an energetic level.

Much faster to clear them than it is to spend years meditating and struggling with your spirit.

How does one go about doing this?

Edited November 28, 2011 by crispy91

[NJBob]

 

 

To this day I work in an office doing things that I have no interest for thus slowly fading to a shadow of unfulfillment and sorrow. One would say that I'm depressed - It is true I was depressed ...

 

Tatsumaru,

 

What you are feeling has been felt by many (possibly most) people. I don't know your age or circumstances, but I can tell you from my own experience that one of the best and most rewarding things in life are love and work. It is said if you can find a job you love, you will never work another day, and it was true for me. I was also told by a wise boss many years ago, that you can achieve whatever you want to in life, it just takes far longer than you want it to.

 

In my case, I always loved computers, and it was my hobby. I tried learning programming on several occasions but wasn't able to do it for a living because I didn't have a degree. Still I pursued my interest while doing whatever work I could get to support myself and my wife and children. At the age of 42, I got the opportunity to become a UNIX system Admin for a new computerized drafting server that was being installed in my company. I had previously done updating of spreadsheets in my department, and had come to the attention of the bosses for doing a good job at that. It was also known I was a computer hobbyist. When the Unix Sys Admin that had been hired for the job bailed at the last minute, I was sent to a two week sys admin class and given a shot. I did that job for the next 20 years until I retired. During that time I loved what I did and turned down/refused any change of assignments.

 

Now computers may not be your thing, but maybe something is. It may require training, giving up promotions or living on less money, but if there is any way to turn something you love to do into a career, I would encourage you to do it. To me, the chance to spend that 40 hours a week you spend earning a living, into doing something you find challenging and rewarding every day is priceless.

 

Just my two cents. And don't be hard on yourself. Everyone fails until the day they finally succeed.

[Clarity]

How does one go about doing this?

 

Chinese energetics.

[Tatsumaru]

Do you believe in Fate and do you think Fate smiles upon some and there are chosen ones ?

 

I would always chose to carry the burden of great powers rather than struggling with virtually nothing. I feel like I'm in a cage. I want to move out and quit living with my parents I want to change my life I need variety, I can't stand the feeling as if for the last 21 years nothing happened. It feels like this is the whole world.

 

Should I accept my life as a punishment for vices in a previous life. Bad Karma if you want ? Why won't I have just a single tiny moment of success in my life to use as a base for my motivation. That way I would know that I'm not cursed or something like that. I just need to get away. I'm kinda ill right now so I tend to exaggarate when I have high temperature but still I don't feel comfortable at all. How do I escape ? I want a new life in the mountains with the ancient masters.

[Aetherous]

"(Fate) helps those who help themselves."

 

Maybe you should take a trip to the nearest mountain, and spend some time practicing there. Maybe an ancient master will show up, in some way. Spending time in nature is healing, regardless.

 

About wanting to escape, there are two factors...

 

1) It's good to develop the life you wish for. For instance, what is preventing you from living in your own place? Get a job if money is the issue. This is your life, you should try to make it what you want it to be. Maybe move to a different state?

 

2) Wanting to escape is just a feeling. All feelings come and go; but of course while they're happening it feels like it's the end of the world...just remember "this too shall pass."

 

You can dissolve all of these unwanted feelings by practicing breathing. Then you can feel just fine, as if you're liberated, and training on a mountain with ancient masters...while in your parent's house. Or something like that.

 

Anyway, trust me, I know the feeling of wanting to escape. Get some more sunlight, brighten up your living space...it's good to think of places you want to travel to. And actually do it if you have the ability. Go into nature and get the space that you require. Dream and realize.

 

De-stressing is supremely important. Best of luck in finding out what works.

Edited November 29, 2011 by Scotty

[Tatsumaru]

I just saw this movie "The Art Of Getting By". It's a similar story to what I described and I'm pretty sure a lot of people would relate somewhat to it. It's a nice relaxing story so if you want you can give it a try

[Shizukanako]

I have many of the same issues, including the divorced parents (they divorced when I was 9 months) and the lack of motivation to complete things.

 

A few things that helped me out:

 

1) Set a fairly rigid schedule. I do all my training (physical, mental, spiritual) at the same times every day. Some days I don't feel like doing it, but I do anyway. When I don't want to, I remember what my Sifu once told me;"Dude, you got to kick that ************ in the ****". Not the most eloquent philosophy, but when I am at that level, its pretty much the only thing that works.

 

2) Examine yourself honestly for your strengths, and pursue them. There is something in your life that you absolutely love to do, are good at, and is useful to others who are willing to pay for that skill/service. Sometimes its just hard to recognize. Focus on it until you find it. I had a horrible tendency to chase anything shiny rather than focus on my strength.

 

3) Remove time-sinks from daily activities. Everyone needs some recreation time, but watch that it doesn't take over. If it becomes addictive, just remove it entirely. I will never look back and say "I wish I had wasted more time doing X".　I used to kill quite a bit of time doing useless things, that could have been spent improving myself.

 

I hope this was helpful!

 

静かな子

[Tatsumaru]

It is helpful but sounds like western medicine as well - Treating the symptoms instead of dealing with the core issue.

 

I know that through this schedule and state of mind one may advance but at the same time it feels as if it's a dam of emotions held in, that is ready to burst any moment.

[therion]

What you experience is actually a fundamental problem we all go through. We feel empty and search for meaning in the outside world going from one shiny object to the other. But it doesn't seem to make us any happier even though we start accomplishing greater things. In fact we grow more disillusioned with each achievement and already we are eyeballing a new challenge. Then we arrive in that place where we realize this and don't feel like doing anything anymore. Or we get there because of an intuitive understanding without having to go through the search-achievement-search error.

 

The solution is to realize mind's true nature before we grow old, tired and exhausted. How everyone arrives at this point is different for each of us. The very fact that you made this post indicates that you are searching for a solution on the outside thinking it is found there. It is not. Turn inside and be present. Then you discover that the outside is really the inside and if you persist even that disappears. When this happens you no longer search for happiness on the outside but simply live you life and give your gift to the world. And in this giving is found true happiness.

[Tatsumaru]

I don't feel like giving to the world but maybe you are right.