What do you dislike about yourself?

[skydog]

You know qualities, personality traits that you disown..Interesting to see.

 

That I think my opinion is usually right in a discussion

That I can be very hypocritical, complain about the rich not giving to the poor, yet I dont donate all my clothes to the poor and make up excuses about it

That I think my theories on life are the truest

Occasionally when I lack control, by masturbating, sexual issues, getting angry at people I like, being in negative states of mind

Not being productive

Starting a project and not finishing it

Being unsure sometimes

Occasionally not doing things I want to do, out of lack of fear and justifying it as not wanting to do it

If I insult someone

If I act weird or am thought of as weird

When I am not considerate of other peoples feelings

[Marblehead]

That's a pretty big list there, my friend. Are you really sure they give you cause to dislike yourself?

 

Be easy on yourself. You are, afterall, only human.

 

I like to pretend that I am at total peace with myself but I do have one issue (which I will not speak to) that, if it didn't exist, I would have even greater inner peace.

[skydog]

Thanks for your compassion, but I am just shedding light to disowned parts of myself, Carl Jung said you dont fight personality parts by repressing them but by accepting them, Alan Watts was also like this. Occassionally I just like to be honest about what parts I dislike, and use it to better myself and love others more.

 

I did copy and paste a word document with looking at each of those personality parts and choosing to accept it as good, and seeing how its perfectly acceptable that those personality traits exist.. Ill just copy and paste a couple.

 

That I think my theories on life are the truest

 

Strong belief in theories and life, at least I am realising now that they are just theories, It is ok to be extremely certain, the universe can be extremely certain sometimes, I am both strong theories and weak theories theyre both the same none are better than the other

 

Occasionally when I lack control, by masturbating, sexual issues, getting angry at people I like, being in negative states of mind

 

What is control, who is the controller, There are forces- anger, sexual energy, insulting, negative emotions which crave attention, who is the me that thinks I can repress things

 

Not being productive

 

Maybe the universe didn’t want “me” to be productive, other things felt better, productiveness gets destroyed, who is the “I” that is worthy when “achievement happens” achievement is a concept that doesn’t exist in the now

 

Starting a project and not finishing it

 

What is a project, starting a project and finishing, what is starting, what is finishing, who is the I that started it, who is the I that finished it, decided to change my mind or go with the mind or feelings, there is no such thing as going without the mind as not going with the mind, why is it good to finish something that doesn’t last, why is it good not to finish it, why is it bad not to finish it, how do I know when something is finished

Edited January 4, 2012 by sinansencer

[Protector]

Wow, now here's a thread that's not for me

[Marblehead]

Yes, I accept the thought that we should acknowledge those aspects of 'us' that cause us conflict, especially inner conflict. Acknowledge them, talk with them, try to understand their roots.

 

But then, at some point we need to determine which of thse we can actually change, if that is what is wanted. To worry ourself over something we have tried to change but failed to change is only adding to our lack of inner peace.

 

At some point we must 'stand naked' and say to our Self, "This is what I am. Get used to it!"

 

To what you said about productiveness, I think it is helpful to find value in our self. Sure, nothing lasts forever, but, if we can accomplish good things in our life, make life better for others, we will find value in our life. And this will be a path for finding more meaning in our individual life.

 

Just yesterday in a conversation I had the opportunity to state one of my favorite quotes (I actually think it is "mine"), "Nothing matters but everything matters." Meaning that, very long term nothing matters because the universe is going to do what it has to do. But in the short term, our personal life, everything matters because how we live our life and interact with all else determines how peaceful a life we will live. And this become more important the more we age. I am an old man - I would hate to be an angry old man. (I've seen those people and they do not live a peaceful life nor are they at peace with their Self.)

Edited January 4, 2012 by Marblehead

[skydog]

well if you ever notice someone else you dont like, that is usually a part of yourself, you dont like.

 

I havent done this exercise in a couple of years, your right at some point you got to kick back and say yeah ok, but this is still a useful exercise.

 

If you look at everyone you dont like, you will find what you dont like about yourself, at least it frees up some energy.

 

This thread is making me look like i hate myself, no one is perfect, you cant help unconscious repression of personality traits lol

[Marblehead]

well if you ever notice someone else you dont like, that is usually a part of yourself, you dont like.

 

I havent done this exercise in a couple of years, your right at some point you got to kick back and say yeah ok, but this is still a useful exercise.

 

If you look at everyone you dont like, you will find what you dont like about yourself, at least it frees up some energy.

 

This thread is making me look like i hate myself, no one is perfect, you cant help unconscious repression of personality traits lol

 

Hehehe. Your last paragraph caused me a laugh. No, I don't think that at all. You are asking questions that all of us should ask at some point in our life.

 

However, I don't totally agree with the concept that what we hate in others is what we hate in our self. It is very possible that what we see and hate in others is something from our past done by others to us that we hated. Again, this is an attempt to suggest that we should not be so hard on ourself.

[skydog]

Hehehe. Your last paragraph caused me a laugh. No, I don't think that at all. You are asking questions that all of us should ask at some point in our life.

 

However, I don't totally agree with the concept that what we hate in others is what we hate in our self. It is very possible that what we see and hate in others is something from our past done by others to us that we hated. Again, this is an attempt to suggest that we should not be so hard on ourself.

 

Well interesting that you dont agree with the concept that what we hate in others is what we hate in ourself. I suppose it is just a concept.

 

I tend to believe it as somewhat true..eg if a child is taught that being angry is wrong, he might see someone angry and dislike them for it, or might feel bad about being angry. I also think that what we hate in others is usually what we consider a threat to our survival, so it could be personality traits or it could be actions people are taken.

 

Im also open to the view that that could just be a concept.

[Marblehead]

 

Im also open to the view that that could just be a concept.

 

Hehehe. Anything beyond non-dual physical reality is a concept (the subjectivity of man).

 

And then, just to mess with you a little, suppose we study ourself and key into those things we like about ourself and place more emphasis on these things? Perhaps we will become so busy and our life will become so full that we never have time to think about those things we don't like about ourself and they will just naturally fade away because we are giving them no attention?

[Vmarco]

What do you dislike about yourself?

 

Perhaps that's not the more important question.

 

"Our Chief Feature (foremost weakness, and barrier to waking up) is usually the part we like best about ourselves" G.I.Gurdjieff

[三江源]

One of the things about the shadow that is so tricky to deal with, is that it is unconscious. It truly is. When parts of it come to light it is a great opportunity to have a good look. (Or, if you are not on a path of consciousness, to flip into denial and compensation.)

 

Meditation should throw the shadow into light pretty quickly. And ongoingly. It can be very arduous indeed to face the emotional impact of ones less than desirable aspects, seen with clarity. I have been catapulted into severe anguish by seeing myself as unthinking, unfeeling, callous, generally unaware. The remorse I have felt for what I have done whilst unaware was agonising, no understatement. As I perceive it, the process is an energetic release and a karmic clearing.

 

For me, thinking about my less than desirable aspects has been helpful only up to a point. Owning them is crucial, of course. But the real work, for me, has been done energetically be clearing the blockages created by said unconsciousness.

 

Not that the work is finished! I dont mean to imply that. I dont think it is ever 'finished'. I think one gets deeper and deeper glimpses into ones nature - the parts that flow and create, and the other parts, that obstruct or destroy.

Yes we inevitably have creation and destruction cycles, but the times when we destroy flow with shadow is what am speaking of and what I think your thread is about.

 

So from reading what I have written I see what I am saying is that dealing with the process energetically has been more productive for me than just dealing with it mentally. The psyche is too clever at making up excuses for preserving the status quo. This is why art therapy, dream work, body work etc are so powerful. Because they bypass the conscious mind whilst including it as a guest rather than the monarch.

 

Discerning what is projection and what is instinctive recoil due to the formation of an Other is an interesting excercise. It may be helpful to find where in the body does ones recoil come from, and go deeper into the recoil and get a sense of it as a colour, shape, name, time, etc, and dialogue with the recoil to find out the seed of it.

 

It isnt so much that I 'dislike' things about myself as that I want to iron out blockages to flow.

[三江源]

Perhaps that's not the more important question.

 

"Our Chief Feature (foremost weakness, and barrier to waking up) is usually the part we like best about ourselves" G.I.Gurdjieff

 

 

Good point.

 

The phrase "your greatest strength is your greatest weakness" is a useful way of thinking about this.

[Jetsun]

Well interesting that you dont agree with the concept that what we hate in others is what we hate in ourself. I suppose it is just a concept.

 

I tend to believe it as somewhat true..eg if a child is taught that being angry is wrong, he might see someone angry and dislike them for it, or might feel bad about being angry. I also think that what we hate in others is usually what we consider a threat to our survival, so it could be personality traits or it could be actions people are taken.

 

Im also open to the view that that could just be a concept.

 

I think what you say is true more or less, especially if you have a strong emotional reaction to the way someone else is, more than likely you are coming into contact with a repressed part of yourself which you don't want to experience.

 

When you try to become honest with yourself and observe yourself you will see all sorts of things in yourself you don't like then the challenge is to try to bring compassion to them as well as try to eliminate them if they are too destructive. It's a tough task, most people don't have the courage to even begin this process as it is too threatening to their ego.

[Aaron]

This is a tangent from my "Return to Innocence" thread. The key to understanding one's self is to look at who we are without labels or preconceived notions about who we are. We need to give up this idea that we are good or bad, or that parts of us are good or bad, and instead look at who we are from a completely unbiased perspective. When we can do that, then we have the potential for true awareness of our nature and the foundation of that nature.

 

Aaron

[Everything]

You know qualities, personality traits that you disown..Interesting to see.

Qualities, personality traits that I disown are not mine... Isn't it obvious that you answered your own title question with "none..."? You don't dislike anything about yourself.

 

I really like about me that I enjoy violent movies. If I didn't like that I enjoyed violent movies, I would not enjoy violent movies! When you enjoy your "destructive" or "negative" or "dark" nature, don't fight this desire. Only if you decide to completely allow a diffrent reality, where you prefer total peace, then are you ready to dislike or disown that nature of you. It will just fade away like a puff of smoke WHEN YOU ARE READY TO ALLOW a diffrent reality. When you accept a diffrent value system.

[skydog]

Qualities, personality traits that I disown are not mine... Isn't it obvious that you answered your own title question with "none..."? You don't dislike anything about yourself.

 

I really like about me that I enjoy violent movies. If I didn't like that I enjoyed violent movies, I would not enjoy violent movies! When you enjoy your "destructive" or "negative" or "dark" nature, don't fight this desire. Only if you decide to completely allow a diffrent reality, where you prefer total peace, then are you ready to dislike or disown that nature of you. It will just fade away like a puff of smoke WHEN YOU ARE READY TO ALLOW a diffrent reality. When you accept a diffrent value system.

 

Thanks for everyones replys, not going to lie..I actually agree with everyones opinions.. This post was interesting because I think I dont like this about myself, but I probably do.

 

Also maybe better to look at what you appreciate about yourself, although that might be just as dysfunctional

 

also maybe there is never a time to stop healing ones self or point to trying to heal the past..

 

No-ones opinion seems right or wrong..lol

[Tom Lin]

Perhaps that's not the more important question.

 

"Our Chief Feature (foremost weakness, and barrier to waking up) is usually the part we like best about ourselves" G.I.Gurdjieff

 

 

I agree with this. Most people don't really contemplate about what personality trait about themselves they think is the best.

 

If you have a personality trait that you think is the best, it may be the hardest to let go because you perceive that it is positive when in reality your so afraid to let it go that it becomes negative.

[suninmyeyes]

Nice replies everyone, interesting to read.

The whole thing is about relating to the situation and learning to act as oppose to react , choosing the atmosphere and life I want to create.

Easier said than done , but that is life.

I dont dislike anymore so much things about myself , however I admit it would be easier and nicer if I was less proud and stubborn.

Edited January 4, 2012 by suninmyeyes

[skydog]

I agree with this. Most people don't really contemplate about what personality trait about themselves they think is the best.

 

If you have a personality trait that you think is the best, it may be the hardest to let go because you perceive that it is positive when in reality your so afraid to let it go that it becomes negative.

 

Yes interesting-

 

For example

 

Intelligence-It can be bad to be smart as you think too much, what is intelligence, but knowledge which can be argued, smart can cause nuclear weapons, belief that you are always right and do bad things, more likely to lie, curious, believe my own bullshit, believe other peoples bullshit

 

Care about other people can be bad- May mean doing things which jeaopordise myself or family, may mean not actually helping other people, may mean that I suffer for other people, may mean that Im not selfish when I need to be

[三江源]

Ha! I can relate about the stubbornness...

 

The flip side of being able to Stand Your Ground. Women often get called stubborn when in fact they are just not conforming to compliancy stereotype.

 

Just sayin'.

[skydog]

Well the technique is to speak to that repressed part of the personality and ask what wisdom does it have for me, how can It better my life to use it, or even just to try and understand that part of the personality

 

In the opposite way, I just thought we could flip it

 

Speak to the overused part of the personality and ask how might it be negative, how can it harm.

 

Then your in a situation where you dont over or undervalue other people or yourself.

[suninmyeyes]

The flip side of being able to Stand Your Ground. Women often get called stubborn when in fact they are just not conforming to compliancy stereotype.

 

Just sayin'.

This true.haha

Are we opening a can of worms here? Worms anyone?

Maybe not.

[Marblehead]

This true.haha

Are we opening a can of worms here? Worms anyone?

Maybe not.

 

No worms for me, thanks. I just had some pizza.

[Enishi]

Although I detest passive aggressiveness in others, I do admittingly find it hard to be as direct with people as I should. I'm paranoid that since I've had a history of aspergers syndrome and not relating to most people in either beliefs or interests, being direct will result in multiple people turning against me.

 

I also have a hard time commiting to a regular schedule, it's like my subconscious rebels at the very notion. I'm starting to wonder if a way around that is to tell myself "I WILL waste my entire day!!" and see if my subconscious rebels at that and makes me train harder instead.

Edited January 4, 2012 by Enishi

[Encephalon]

I guess I just have to say that, all things being equal, I'm just a little too perfect. I'm extraordinarily talented in a multiple of media and am overflowing with creativity and imagination. I regularly skewed the grading curve in my favor during college, and regularly submitted supplemental teaching materials to my professors. I'm left-handed, right-brained, full of mystical awareness and brimming with the Truth. I'm an excellent father and husband, a talented cook, and I'll clean vomit from virtually any animal off the rug or the couch. I appeared in Playgirl Magazine back in the late 80s and am still chiseled out like a Greek god. Women trip over their panties just to catch a glimpse of me. All men fear me for the mighty warrior that I am. I am selfless as melting ice and try, in vain, to tone down my magnificence.

 

Actually, I am just one of millions of American men raised in consumer culture who has internalized self-loathing and self-sabotage, and because of this false self (due in part to large quantities of whiskey) I have become habituated to engaging people as either inferiors or superiors, never as equals, but only above or below. Disempowered people become masters of manipulation; it's often our only means of getting what we want when we lack the courage to be authentic. I have only begun, at 50+ years of age, to break free of my addictions and attachments and rediscover the faith in my own abilities and the worthiness of my goals and to dismiss the imperfections of others as none of my goddamn business unless it effects me directly.

 

And I owe it ALL to Nei kung and the Water Method of meditation.

 

PS - the part about all the chicks tripping over their panties in order to catch up to me and rip my clothes off? It's not true.

Edited January 4, 2012 by Encephalon