73543_1494798777 Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Im going deeper and finding that I havent really resolved simple fundamental issues about the way things work. In particular about how to respond to different things. What do you do when you realize youve made a mistake? How does the Taoist master react? I am afraid of knowingly making a mistake. I am afraid of doing something that I know to be wrong. To do something that you know to be wrong to me feels like it is bad, and thats what Im afraid of. Like lets say you knowingly break a law and get caught. The police ask you if you knew it was illegal and you say--Yes. Doesnt that mean that you are inconsistent, that you are insane? Isnt that something to be feared? Something that you dont want. Something to be resisted... When I realize ive made a mistake (on a mathematics test or something) I feel a strong rush of anxiety, of fear, of dread. Who I think I AM is threatened. Its like, I think I am "right", doing the "right thing".. I know who I am, and then Boom, a mistake. Who I thought I am is threatened and there is fear. Accepting it doesnt make much sense to me. How can you accept that YOU are wrong, are false. I am left with a strong building feeling of frustration and anxiety and it feels like there is no way out... Seen from a higher perspective, I dont think you can make a mistake. Who is making a mistake? The thought of "I". An image of myself has made a mistake and I resist that and that causes me suffering. But really there is no mistake. You act and your actions cause responses. If your actions were out of alignment with the situation and your intended goal was not reached-- that is not a problem, thats the way it is. You acted and produced this response. You are responsible for your actions, there is no blaming anyone or anything, because it was always just you who acted and produced the results. The mental image of myself as someone who is right, may resist this. If a goal was not reached, who I thought I was may come under serious threat, but that is just a mental image of myself, not the reality of who i am NOW, in this moment. For any taoist masters with children: What do you say to your child when he has knowingly made a mistake or "done something wrong". Simple issues yet it would really help me if anyone could lend some advice Thanks Edited February 9, 2012 by Guest Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Harmonious Emptiness Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) - Well, what is the one constant in all existing things? Change. Change is a part of life. Up and down are a part of life. You might go up and down but they are merely peaks and valleys in the wave of the constantly moving stream. At best I could only speak as a masterless student, but masters dwell only in the present. Mistakes are only in the past and right now only the present changes the future and the future is more real than the past which no longer exists. So currently you are in the present going forward, and those actions are who you are. Edited February 10, 2012 by Harmonious Emptiness Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted February 10, 2012 For any taoist masters with children: What do you say to your child when he has knowingly made a mistake or "done something wrong". FYI... I would replace "Taoist masters" with "Taoist practitioners". A true Taoist priest or master abstain from marriage. I shall not argue about this if somebody else has a different point of view. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted February 10, 2012 Making mistakes is a necessary part of learning. Without mistakes you would not learn anything. You will notice that although the universe may be seen as 'perfect' it is not formally exact ... it has a chaotic randomness. Nature is like this. We are not, or meant to be like automatons ... we misunderstand, forget, bump into lampposts, laugh and get up again ... its life and its ok. That's not to say we should aim to get things wrong ... we are best to strive to to get things wright ... but when we fall short for whatever reason we can just look at what happened, understand and move on. Imagine two people, one has never put a foot wrong and sits in some kind of perfection while the other has been 'out there' ... made mistakes, learned, seen life as it is ... and returned. Which one is truly wise? Which one knows how things really are? And which one is maybe a little frightened of all that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted February 10, 2012 Great comments so far. I need say nothing at the moment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joeblast Posted February 10, 2012 As long as I learn, I will make mistakes 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jetsun Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) Maybe just change your language so you don't identify the childs sense of self with the mistake as much, so saying something like "that is idiotic behaviour" is far less damaging to a child than saying "you are an idiot" when they make a mistake. edit: my example isn't a very good one but the gist is you separate out the value of the child from what they do and their behaviour with the language you use so they are free to make mistakes without it threatening their self worth. Edited February 10, 2012 by Jetsun Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
