Coming to terms with DEATH!

[Informer]

If you think about how you will feel when someone dies, you can actually feel it. These are attachments that many people are not aware of, and can be relinquished by bringing it to the fore-front of your mind and coming to terms with this fact.

 

It also seems to help when you look at the big picture and how many people feel bad each and every day because of the death of another. Why is one death more special to you then another?

 

What do you guys think?

Edited February 13, 2012 by Informer

[idiot_stimpy]

What came to mind was, are people upset when someone dies that inflicted serious pain and suffering on them, compared to one that brought joy and happiness.

[Informer]

As fire sinks to ember, love sinks to compassion.

[Marblehead]

I have decided that I am going to live until I die.

 

Death is simple a return to before the beginning.

 

Yes, many people fear death. That fear will, to some degree, prevent them from living their life to its fullest potential. And yes, that fear will also cause them much suffering. This is one of the things Buddhism tries to eliminate - the suffering. I gotta give them credit for that.

[Jeramiah Zeitigeist]

I've worked with many dying people for 18 years, and its taught me many things, and required me to look deep inside, at my attitudes towards death.

 

Then, I cheated death by the width of my finger, twice. I was very close, closer than I like to imagine, to being very dead indeed.

 

Now, I have absolutely no fear of death. If it comes today, or in fifty years, I have no worries or concerns. I am ready to die.

 

I wonder if thats the key ? Its not, are you scared to die ? Its are you ready to let go ? Being ready to die is different to not being scared. Subtle, but true. I like it here, but I'll like it there too.

 

I feel very liberated. Very happy.

[konchog uma]

thanks Jeremiah, thoughtful post.

 

I accept death, and made my peace with it! It is inevitable, even those that live forever in the spirit and choose when and how they die must face it. I don't think there is any way to true immortality in the daoist sense (or any other) without coming fully to terms with death and being ready and willing to die without it meaning anything at all.

 

Don Juan Matus said that our death is a presence which follows us around at arms length on our left, and that when we are feeling weak or petty, to turn to our left and ask death for advice, because that will dispel our crappy feelings and give us a sense of immediacy. I have found that asking my death for advice is an amazing technique for cutting through false self-importance (is there any other kind?)

 

I had an awesome near death experience where i was so close to the light i reached out and touched it, and all i felt "out there" where i was, was unconditional love, and an overwhelming sense of compassion and acceptance. I knew without a doubt that all that church crap was for the birds, and that i would be forgiven for my mistakes without having to ask. I left that place and came back to my body, but after that, the idea of death didn't phase me at all. If i died while typing this, that would be fine. If i live to see my 200th birthday, thats also okay.

 

I would like to leave my body behind one day since the physicality is such a painful burden, and live as a spirit. That to me is like having my cake and eating it too . But i'm sure i'm not the only one hahahaah

[Jeramiah Zeitigeist]

thanks Jeremiah, thoughtful post.

 

I accept death, and made my peace with it! It is inevitable, even those that live forever in the spirit and choose when and how they die must face it. I don't think there is any way to true immortality in the daoist sense (or any other) without coming fully to terms with death and being ready and willing to die without it meaning anything at all.

 

Don Juan Matus said that our death is a presence which follows us around at arms length on our left, and that when we are feeling weak or petty, to turn to our left and ask death for advice, because that will dispel our crappy feelings and give us a sense of immediacy. I have found that asking my death for advice is an amazing technique for cutting through false self-importance (is there any other kind?)

 

I had an awesome near death experience where i was so close to the light i reached out and touched it, and all i felt "out there" where i was, was unconditional love, and an overwhelming sense of compassion and acceptance. I knew without a doubt that all that church crap was for the birds, and that i would be forgiven for my mistakes without having to ask. I left that place and came back to my body, but after that, the idea of death didn't phase me at all. If i died while typing this, that would be fine. If i live to see my 200th birthday, thats also okay.

 

I would like to leave my body behind one day since the physicality is such a painful burden, and live as a spirit. That to me is like having my cake and eating it too . But i'm sure i'm not the only one hahahaah

 

Great post ! Great contribution. Thanks.

 

I'd echo everything you say.

 

Death is just another part of the journey. Its quite exciting really. Like opening the door of a room for the first time. The universe is perfect, so death will be too. Why fear it ?

[Jeramiah Zeitigeist]

'Cause many around you fear it? It's a strong vibration, that fear.

 

If one has made peace with their lives, death is easier to transcend. (At least, this is what I hear.) Regret, remorse, unfinished business...perhaps dying with too much done/undone on one's slate doesn't allow the dying person to let go enough to transition peacefully.

 

I have regrets for things done and undone, and remorse for things I may have said or done. And I have an enormous amount of unfinished business.

 

But so what ? Is any of that real ? Its just life and the journey. Its how our lives unfold. I don't think it has any bearing on whether you are scared of dying.

 

Its only the ego thats scared of dying. And the ego spends most of its time being scared of things. Its scared of the little things too. Its scared of not being liked, of not being successful, or not being in control. Its always scared. And when its not being scared, its being insecure, or greedy, or selfish, or vain, or any of hundred other things.

 

The ego is empty. Don't feed it.

[suninmyeyes]

 

Don Juan Matus said that our death is a presence which follows us around at arms length on our left, and that when we are feeling weak or petty, to turn to our left and ask death for advice, because that will dispel our crappy feelings and give us a sense of immediacy. I have found that asking my death for advice is an amazing technique for cutting through false self-importance (is there any other kind?)

This reminded me of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katha_Upanishad Katha Upanishad. A beutiful conversation that is taking place between a boy Nachiketa and the Lord of death Yama .

 

@Jeremiah

I wonder if a desire to live is a sort of fear of the death and if fear is our defense mechanisam , a precious tool that humanity forgot to listen to.

Having been very close to death myself the gross fear of death seems to have gone, which in turn allows life to be lived with a wider potential. This is truly very liberating , allowing for the boudaries to be pushed , reshaped, erased. Many 'what ifs 'dissapeared allowing lifes fullnes to flow more freely.

However being a cyclist like you I must admit getting chemicals pumping the other day when a car suddenly took turn few centimeters infront of me. My natural defence mechanisam kicked in and there was a moment of fear, which turned into anger and I swore at the driver really badly.

So it seems that having sense of fear is very healthy and useful - it is a defense mechanisam. It defends life and makes us look left and right at on the road ,as well as it makes us eat healthy food and not shoes and bricks for example, makes us wear warm coat in the winter etc.

All that needs to be done is explore it , hear its meaning ,take it for what it is and not blow it out of proportion or overly enjoy.If one does overenjoy fear, which is quite common and tempting due to prevalent mental and emotional climate these days in many ways - it is bound to bring unsatisfaction sooner or later.

 

edit:just read Jeremiahs post again and noticed that he says about being ready to die is different to being scared which I missed first time around .It is late and I cant explain it any further coherently but it makes sense to me why I write this. Good night, dont let the bed bugs bite.

Edited February 13, 2012 by suninmyeyes

[Jetsun]

My friend told me that he didn't really fear death until he had children and the thought that they might grow up without his protection terrified him, so some attachments are completely healthy and natural I think. I think it is natural not to want to die before your parents too as you do not want to inflict suffering upon them, there are many attachments which are so deep and ingrained that it is very difficult to remove them completely.

 

I thought I wasn't too afraid of death until I took "the vine of death" Ayahuasca and when I was confronted with the experience that I actually might die I found I was scared, very scared, and I was forced to admit I wasn't prepared or ready to die at all but then I had to accept that it might happen just to get through the experience.

 

I was watching this documentary on the Tibetan Book of the Dead:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCHh8xqMWeo

 

which is a really good documentary but it has actually got me worried, not so much for myself but for my family and friends because if they know nothing about letting go and not attaching to their death experience and realising it is mind or an opportunity to discover their essence then according to the Book of The Dead they are likely to struggle and become fearful and suffer, similar to the film Jacobs Ladder

 

if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.

[Jeramiah Zeitigeist]

This reminded me of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katha_Upanishad Katha Upanishad. A beutiful conversation that is taking place between a boy Nachiketa and the Lord of death Yama .

 

@Jeremiah

I wonder if a desire to live is a sort of fear of the death and if fear is our defense mechanisam , a precious tool that humanity forgot to listen to.

Having been very close to death myself the gross fear of death seems to have gone, which in turn allows life to be lived with a wider potential. This is truly very liberating , allowing for the boudaries to be pushed , reshaped, erased. Many 'what ifs 'dissapeared allowing lifes fullnes to flow more freely.

However being a cyclist like you I must admit getting chemicals pumping the other day when a car suddenly took turn few centimeters infront of me. My natural defence mechanisam kicked in and there was a moment of fear, which turned into anger and I swore at the driver really badly.

So it seems that having sense of fear is very healthy and useful - it is a defense mechanisam. It defends life and makes us look left and right at on the road ,as well as it makes us eat healthy food and not shoes and bricks for example, makes us wear warm coat in the winter etc.

All that needs to be done is explore it , hear its meaning ,take it for what it is and not blow it out of proportion or overly enjoy.If one does overenjoy fear, which is quite common and tempting due to prevalent mental and emotional climate these days in many ways - it is bound to bring unsatisfaction sooner or later.

 

edit:just read Jeremiahs post again and noticed that he says about being ready to die is different to being scared which I missed first time around .It is late and I cant explain it any further coherently but it makes sense to me why I write this. Good night, dont let the bed bugs bite.

 

Good post. Makes sense.

 

I wonder if, that instant where a car driver does something crazy and scares us, is actually just our 'animal' survival instinct, which is programmed deep within us. It creates adrenaline and other stress hormones, because its functioning at a very primal level. In effect, its the same as a choking mechanism, or a drowning panic. Its about helping us survive. Its not even ego. So its not really connected with our deeper sense of dying, fear of dying and being ready to die. Its just a reflex.

 

I'll do everything I can to stay alive. I really like being alive. Its a great adventure and I'm loving it. I have just about finished the first draft of my book. The first of many I hope, so I want to see it published. At the same time, I am glad its done, so that if I die tomorrow, at least I got the words down first. But you know, it doesn't really matter.

 

I am not riding the bike at the moment. I get fit really fast, from 25 years of racing, so I don't worry too much these days. I'll soon be fit again. I know my pro days are over. So I no longer have that crazy thing of being out on the bike, having a near miss, and wondering if today is my last day. But I still hear of cyclists I knew getting killed, and I'm glad its not me.

 

For me, the reality of death has been very close. And I know I have to live with that forever. It probably won't come in the night, but then again, it might. It could come at any time. People are surprised when I say I am not scared. But then again, how could I live like that ? Looking over my shoulder all the time ? Checking under my car all the time ? Checking to see if I am being followed ? Living like I have a price on my head. As time goes on, I think the risk to my life is receding. But honestly, I am very relaxed about it

 

Also, if it happens, I'll not go down without a fight. Being ready to die doesn't mean I won't go down fighting. One man with a gun will do it, but if she sends three men with sticks, I'll fancy my chances.

 

So I am ready to die, and I am peaceful about it. There will be no fear, when it comes. I'll give my soul up gently. No attachment to here. I just hope its in fifty years. Not tomorrow.

[Informer]

I think you guys made some good posts, I don't really have anything to add yet, thanks for sharing everyone!

[Creation]

Thanks for posting the Bardo Thodol documentary Jetsun. I enjoyed that.

 

I am coming to believe that a big element of what it means to grow spiritually is to go through things that most people go through at death, while still alive.

[C T]

If you think about how you will feel when someone dies, you can actually feel it. These are attachments that many people are not aware of, and can be relinquished by bringing it to the fore-front of your mind and coming to terms with this fact.

 

It also seems to help when you look at the big picture and how many people feel bad each and every day because of the death of another. Why is one death more special to you then another?

 

What do you guys think?

To know what awaits after death, keep an interest in becoming aware of what one's first thoughts are upon waking after each sleep. I know what awaits me immediately after death.... half glass of orange juice, cup of strong coffee, 2 toasts, marmalade, and some cheddar cheese - every Sunday morning, a little bonus of some scrambled eggs. This is always what i think about first thing upon stirring. In my quest for Equanimity, life cannot get any simpler..

[Chang]

I have heard it said that the sadness we feel on the death of another is really sorrow for ourselves, for the living, that we will not see that person again.

 

Do we really need to feel sorrow for the dead?

Edited February 14, 2012 by Chang

[Friend]

I do not know. As when ones own death comes then one can reply to this answer

until then many things change. When one die then it is already to late to be prepared or not. Also ones sees. If you not earth bound then your were ready, if you are earth bound then you are not. Die and we will know.

[mewtwo]

http://www.amazon.com/Graceful-Exits-Stories-Tibetan-Masters/dp/0834803917 great book

 

But why fear death, it is like a curtain a person only goes from a being of being to a being of non-being.

 

The master programmer moves from program to program without fear. No change in management can harm him. He will not be fired, even if the project is cancelled. Why is this? He is filled with Tao. The tao of programming.

 

1988 i dont fear this so why fear my death?

 

I was born in 1989

Edited February 14, 2012 by mewtwo

[Friend]

http://www.amazon.com/Graceful-Exits-Stories-Tibetan-Masters/dp/0834803917 great book

 

But why fear death, it is like a curtain a person only goes from a being of being to a being of non-being.

 

The master programmer moves from program to program without fear. No change in management can harm him. He will not be fired, even if the project is cancelled. Why is this? He is filled with Tao. The tao of programming.

 

1988 i dont fear this so why fear my death?

 

I was born in 1989

 

You can ask yourself:"Are you sure that is what you believe?"

It may count for every people. What if not for you?

Can you see those disembodied and discern them from the hallucination?

Is it you who fears death, or is it the ego? What if it is the body who fears?

You can ask many more answers. Still if you ask or not prepared or not it the same that you will die someday. Carlos Castanedea had said something of changing from organic to and anorganic beeing which live a bit longer 10.000, 100.000 someday if will die and the eagle will take them.

 

Look for example on the Raider Tarot. The Death is a black knight on the horse

which if you know have now to look into all symbolism in the Tarot Deck the big and small Arcana for its meaning to be knight. And the 4 people in front are a child,priest a women and a king. Each present one set of way to confront death.

The priest prepared and with his believe stand straigtht in front with praying hands,

while the child is joyful bringing flowers. The King lay down beneath death looking defeated and the women is looking away. And the interpretation can go more in depth

but I think there are greater specialist here to talk about this Card.

 

Its a greater question how the thinking of your own death affect your life as Carlos Castaneda said something like having the death as an advisor.

[Marblehead]

1988 i dont fear this so why fear my death?

 

I was born in 1989

 

You said it here.

 

We didnt fear coming into life; why should we fear going into death? Cycle complete, that is all.

[suninmyeyes]

 

I wonder if, that instant where a car driver does something crazy and scares us, is actually just our 'animal' survival instinct, which is programmed deep within us. It creates adrenaline and other stress hormones, because its functioning at a very primal level. In effect, its the same as a choking mechanism, or a drowning panic. Its about helping us survive. Its not even ego. deepeSo its not really connected with our deeper sense of dying, fear of dying and being ready to die. Its just a reflex.

 

I dont think it is possible to have an animal survival instinct and it not being connected to the fear of dying. It is all part of our being .

Everything is interconnected . We are going to have to disagree on that.

I am not sure what happened but it seems judging from your post there is some

'she'trying to ruin your life , something serious. Prehapes I am misreading.

Anyaway nice to meet a fellow veggie cycling lover on the bums(I am not a professional cyclist either, just an everyday one).

 

@CT

'I know what awaits me immediately after death.... half glass of orange juice, cup of strong coffee, 2 toasts, marmalade, and some cheddar cheese - every Sunday morning, a little bonus of some scrambled eggs. This is always what i think about first thing upon stirring. In my quest for Equanimity, life cannot get any simpler.. '

 

I wonder if you will want have Sunday everyday when you die and have a little bonus of scarambled eggs and create an egg heaven?

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

I'm gonna die some day. sure. who cares? not me.

[Friend]

You said it here.

 

We didnt fear coming into life; why should we fear going into death? Cycle complete, that is all.

 

Oh this, well... ones motivation before birth was indeed very good, but with birth -

one want to go back to heaven. It is one of the things health practioner I worked with told:" That most of them which are here want to go back and so are in ungrounded in this life. They do risky things to shorten their life and provoke death: Choosing things that harm them and using illness as excuse ("Oh my stomach hurts teacher I must go home, I want to stay here ohhhh but I am so illllll!")

 

Edit : A bit of ehm grammar as far as I can- in the moment

 

Beside anyone knows the movies name where the protagonist die come into a place where they have sit on roll chairs? Also this was when they eat cakes and the women just take one spoon and the man said not thanks and get more and more cakes!

Edited February 14, 2012 by Friend

[Jeramiah Zeitigeist]

I dont think it is possible to have an animal survival instinct and it not being connected to the fear of dying. It is all part of our being .

Everything is interconnected . We are going to have to disagree on that.

I am not sure what happened but it seems judging from your post there is some

'she'trying to ruin your life , something serious. Prehapes I am misreading.

Anyaway nice to meet a fellow veggie cycling lover on the bums(I am not a professional cyclist either, just an everyday one).

 

@CT

'I know what awaits me immediately after death.... half glass of orange juice, cup of strong coffee, 2 toasts, marmalade, and some cheddar cheese - every Sunday morning, a little bonus of some scrambled eggs. This is always what i think about first thing upon stirring. In my quest for Equanimity, life cannot get any simpler.. '

 

I wonder if you will want have Sunday everyday when you die and have a little bonus of scarambled eggs and create an egg heaven?

 

 

I had a psychopath run a four year campaign of terror against me, my friends and my family. Her partner was a police officer and she had a number of influential friends, so it was four years before it was exposed and stopped. She planned and then tried to murder me by driving a car at me, twice. She announced it to many people in the days leading up to it. She knew nobody would speak up, as everyone is/was terrified of her. She missed me by a tyres width. It was quite an interesting time !

 

And yes, great to meet another compassionate cyclist. Funnily enough, there are a lot of us out there ! I'm not a professional now. Just a poser ! But damn, I look good on the bike !

[suninmyeyes]

JZ, it sounds like a very difficult times. Wish you best!

[suninmyeyes]

I'm gonna die some day. sure. who cares? not me.

I dont believe you.