Emotional issue hindering meditation

[Umezuke]

Hello guys!

 

Way back a few years ago I used to meditate a LOT and what follows never happened to me. I hit a patch where I think I may have just got lazy and stopped practicing. Anyway, I've started again some months ago and this is what I'd like you guys to chime in on...

 

I practice Ya Mu's Stillness-Movement from the book. Having said this I do not think that I'm actually doing Stillness-Movement if you know what I mean. Just working on the stillness part. Anyway -- recently when I get about 1:30 or 2hrs into practice my body just begins screaming for me to just stop and get the hell up. Everything becomes annoying and frustrating. All the sounds and all the sensations just become enraging. I do push forward but it just doesn't stop. This has even happened during ZZ so I don't think it is what I'm doing. I'm not an angry guy either, at all actually.

 

What is going on and how do I get past this? Is this ego?

[Jetsun]

I have had similar experience with Stillness Movement and another member here reported their body screaming for them to stop doing Gift of the Tao, it's impossible to really diagnose but from my own experience there could be a few things going on. One possible issue I have observed in myself is that if you do powerful energetics and part of you resists the process then it creates an inner conflict which can lead to negative emotions and stress. Using psychological terms here it's worth trying to find out what the part that is resisting wants before doing more practice, perhaps there are neglected and repressed emotions and parts of yourself which need to be heard and embraced or they will sabotage your practice.

 

Anther possibility is that the practice is just bringing up what is inside of you, you say you are not an angry person but the practice is bringing up anger, so the ego aspect here is your self image of not being an angry person, maybe you are infact an angry person but you bury your anger instead of expressing it and the practice is bringing this out so it is showing you the truth but your self image doesn't like it.

 

The other option is that you are simply trying to do too much too fast, two hours sounds like too much for a beginner, maybe if you do things gradually with patience you wont overstress your system. Bruce Frantzis says never go over 70% of your capability and for beginners i'd stick to even less especially if you are having issues, try doing it for 20 mins or so instead.

[C T]

Perhaps your present alignment is not with SM? There are so many other paths which you can explore, and maybe incorporate, at some stage, into your daily practice routine. From my experience, once you connect with the right practice the resistance can be burnt off very quickly and progress can be gained swiftly. Even though i am not an advocate of energetic cultivation (those which costs money to learn), i am thinking that fundamentally the same principle applies.

 

One simple, powerful and proven method (which costs nothing to acquire) where positive results are assured is doing prostrations. The benefits are on all levels... mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being will emerge when one can reach one hundred thousand counts and beyond.

 

At that stage, you can always return to SM practice, and who knows, your progress then will be like slicing a hot knife thru' butter!

 

For those interested, this link gives a very clear explanation of prostrations and associated benefits:

 

http://www.kagyu-asia.com/t_prostrations.html

[RiverSnake]

I agree with CT: bowing for me has been a very powerful practice for purification. Whenever i see or feel limitations within or without myself or any attraction or aversion...i simply bow my head and say: "Thank you teacher."

 

Next time the fear comes up try it.

 

-My 2 cents, Peace

[idiot_stimpy]

Bringing up repressed negative emotions?

[Aetherous]

I've had this same effect from practicing S-M from the book alone...sometimes after just continuing the practice, there's a little breakthrough and more energy is released from it...other times the negativity of not wanting to sit for so long just continues on post-practice.

 

I'm wondering if people who have attended the seminars experience this as well...or does the transmission you get possibly take care of that?

[PurpleHeaven]

I have experienced this as well, restlesness and negativity, just as Scotty mentiones sometimes releasing and sometimes lingering on even after the practice is concluded.

When I practice the Gift of the Tao though this does not happen. If I sit for a moment after the GOT then its also not present. So I just abandoned the sitting. Maybe this changes with the attunement at the seminar, but the fastest way on ones own is the GOT I guess.

[johndoe2012]

I haven't had that issue you face.

 

My sittings are normally quite peaceful and are getting deeper.

 

Sometimes I have a sitting where I get restless. I think it is quite normal, also happens when just following the breath.

 

The 70% percent rule is probably a good idea to follow. The nervous system needs time to adapt.

 

This has even happened during ZZ so I don't think it is what I'm doing. I'm not an angry guy either, at all actually.

 

so it is not related to SM but is your body-mind-spirit response to the practise. Angriness is quite normal to purge.

[Umezuke]

Great replies guys, thanks a lot.

 

Good to know I'm not the only one experiencing this issue.

 

I wonder the same thing Scotty. Would be cool to have Ya Mu's thoughts on this.

 

True it may be the purging of latent anger too as Chris D said. Transmutation of emotion maybe???

 

Thanks again all

[Birch]

Hello guys!

 

Way back a few years ago I used to meditate a LOT and what follows never happened to me. I hit a patch where I think I may have just got lazy and stopped practicing. Anyway, I've started again some months ago and this is what I'd like you guys to chime in on...

 

I practice Ya Mu's Stillness-Movement from the book. Having said this I do not think that I'm actually doing Stillness-Movement if you know what I mean. Just working on the stillness part. Anyway -- recently when I get about 1:30 or 2hrs into practice my body just begins screaming for me to just stop and get the hell up. Everything becomes annoying and frustrating. All the sounds and all the sensations just become enraging. I do push forward but it just doesn't stop. This has even happened during ZZ so I don't think it is what I'm doing. I'm not an angry guy either, at all actually.

 

What is going on and how do I get past this? Is this ego?

Oh yeah, this reminded me of the Daniel Ingram (sp?) path map.

[idiot_stimpy]

I find the quickest way to liberate the energy is to use your awareness to go into the energy and just be there.

[Ya Mu]

If I try to run for over 30 minutes my body does the same thing. I back off instead of pushing it. I think this is the best approach with any exercise.

 

Any type of sitting exercise practice can produce restlessness when done for so long. Like any exercise, it takes gradual working up to longer sessions. There is no magical figure, but somewhere around 40 minutes into the sitting there is a flush of energy. You may wish to go back to that point.

 

With any valid qigong practice the qi has traditionally been described as always attempting to work through inner problems, whether those are mental, spiritual, or physical. As it is working through, a deeper response to that particular thing can occur. This response is usually short lived. There is a name for this in other traditions like osteopathy; they call it re-tracing.

 

Also, I always like to balance out the sitting with movement.

 

I always tell people that 1 hr per day is all that is needed for progress unless a person wishes to do wai qi liao fa. And that requires in person training.

 

I am always available through email or telephone. If you have any specific questions feel free to contact me.

 

If you need to see a physician for any mental or physical health problem do so.

[Umezuke]

Wow, excellent. Thank you for your help Ya Mu!

 

Much appreciated.