Compassion?

[skydog]

What is compassion?

 

If I wish for someone to be happy, I am wishing for them to experience pleasure which leads to pain?

If I wish for someone to have the things they think they want, will that make them happy, will their happiness be permanent?

If I wish for someone to be happy, is that the same as peace and non duality?

But if its likely they will never understand the reality of nature..then maybe I should wish for them to be happy or at least live in conditions that their mind allows them to experience happiness?

Or feelings of a high frequency?

What about being horrible in order to be kind?

Or doing things of a small bad in order to do a big good?

WHat is good? What is bad? it is a belief system?

[thelerner]

I've given up on compassion. Apparently it's too loaded a term!?. From now on I'll concentrate on kindness.

 

M.

[C T]

I've given up on compassion. Apparently it's too loaded a term!?. From now on I'll concentrate on kindness.

 

M.

[Vmarco]

I've given up on compassion. Apparently it's too loaded a term!?. From now on I'll concentrate on kindness.

 

M.

 

 

What is kindness? A girl just got dumped by her sweetheat and is overwhelmed with despair,...does kindness console her? Does kindness coddle her, saying everything is OK?

 

Let's say there was a few people with this suffering girl, and one asked why are you so overwhelmed? To the other's there, this question is predisposed to be insensitive,...they want to bring her back into deep sleep where she is no longer in despair. They want to distract her with thoughts of eating, playing, dancing, and other romances. However, she replies, "I'm not good enough!" Then to the utter dismay of the other's, this person instructs the girl to say it again, to say again and again that she is "not good enough." And she does,...she says it again and again. All that are there (thelerner, Scotty, CT, Twinner) are in horror. The girls whole body is crying as she repeats she "is not good enough." Her voice changes to that of a young girl, as her body heaves with the tears. All that are there (thelerner, Scotty, CT, Twinner)want to put a stop to this cruelty. But then the girl smiles through her tear drench face,...a most beautiful smile. She saw the core issue of why she did not feel good enough. Not only was she no longer in despair, but was in a state of bliss.

 

What is loving kindness?

[Tom Lin]

Compassion is being able to accept and treat everyone equally with love and care...(very difficult to do because society/governments attempt to disassociate humans because that is how they control us from childhood till now)

 

Compassion is knowing what is best for the person's spirit and that varies in different situations/moments. One cannot know true compassion until they have inner harmony which is by understanding yourself by reflecting and extracting meaning from the events and patterns that have been reoccurring throughout your life.

 

And once you start understanding and forgive yourself you will be able to accept yourself and know better how to accept/love others genuinely. A life of love is a life of peace.

[Jetsun]

What is loving kindness?

 

"To give attention is the simplest and purest act of love" - RA Jodjana

[三江源]

What is kindness? A girl just got dumped by her sweetheat and is overwhelmed with despair,...does kindness console her? Does kindness coddle her, saying everythong is OK?

 

Let's say there was a few people with this suffering girl, and one asked why are you so overwhelmed? To the other's there, this question is predisposed to be insensitive,...they want to bring her back into deep sleep where she is no longer in despair. They want to distract her with thoughts of eating, playing, dancing, and other romances. However, she replies, "I'm not good enough!" Then to the utter dismay of the other's, this person instructs the girl to say it again, to say again and again that she is "not good enough." And she does,...she says it again and again. All that are there (thelerner, Scotty, CT, Twinner) are in horror. The girls whole body is crying as she repeats she "is not good enough." Her voice changes to that of a young girl, as her body heaves with the tears. All that are there (thelerner, Scotty, CT, Twinner)want to put a stop to this cruelty. But then the girl smiles through her tear drench face,...a most beautiful smile. She saw the core issue of why she did not feel good enough. Not only was she no longer in despair, but was in a state of bliss.

 

What is loving kindness?

 

This is an "ideal" outcome from a confrontational intervention. It would be equally possible that various conditions within the girl would disallow the breakthrough. To be skillful about what is kindness at any given moment is a matter of intense awareness and responsibility. This is why we have palliative kindness.

[三江源]

"To give attention is the simplest and purest act of love" - RA Jodjana

 

This is truly it. And it is a certain quality of attention. The quality of attention ie. what constitutes the attention, from where does it come, and what does it convey.. is precisely what we are discussing, I think it is what VMArco is saying is at the root of compassion.

[Protector]

oh no, the bums are turning to the dark side and the evil is corrupting their souls

I should do something about that and write a well thought out post thing

after I sleep some

[Jetsun]

This is truly it. And it is a certain quality of attention. The quality of attention ie. what constitutes the attention, from where does it come, and what does it convey.. is precisely what we are discussing, I think it is what VMArco is saying is at the root of compassion.

 

I think the quality of the attention needs to be completely open and non judgemental without preconceptions or expectations, so you need an empty cup or beginners mind, then from that space if any action needs to be taken it will be spontaneous and appropriate.

 

I don't know if this is what Vmarco is saying, often the need to fix another persons problems comes from a persons own discomfort or fear at witnessing anothers suffering rather than just being open to it, or the need to fix can come from the egotistical desire to have power over those around you.

[Vmarco]

often the need to fix another persons problems comes from a persons own discomfort or fear at witnessing anothers suffering rather than just being open to it, or the need to fix can come from the egotistical desire to have power over those around you.

 

Sure,...from a relative point of view that is the accepted indoctrination,..we are separate, and thus we should be open to the "others" suffering, not our own separate discomfort.

 

Both the above to me, are contrary to what Taoism and Buddhism are ultimately pointing to.

 

Lao Tzu purportedly said, "If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of your self."

 

If you do awaken or liberate yourself, then the suffering of nearly all around you will be seen,...even if those "sepatate minded, 6 sense, sentient beings don't see it.

 

HH Dalai Lama said, "If I have any understanding of compassion..., it all comes from studying the Bodhicharyavatara"

The Bodhicharyavatara says, "those desiring speedily to be A refuge for themselves and other beings, Should interchange the terms of I and Other, And thus embrace a sacred mystery."

 

The relative can be discussed to the extent of impermanence,...but for what purpose? Some sort of temporary satisfaction?

 

Show me someone with "open attention" and I'll show you someone beyond the 6 senses,...who is hated by those attached to the 6 senses for their identity.

 

V

[C T]

I think the quality of the attention needs to be completely open and non judgemental without preconceptions or expectations, so you need an empty cup or beginners mind, then from that space if any action needs to be taken it will be spontaneous and appropriate.

 

I don't know if this is what Vmarco is saying, often the need to fix another persons problems comes from a persons own discomfort or fear at witnessing anothers suffering rather than just being open to it, or the need to fix can come from the egotistical desire to have power over those around you.

What Vmarco does not realize is that training well in relative bodhicitta eventually enables one to help others before they even realize they are about to get into trouble, or help others to avoid potential mishaps. This is called preventive compassion, something very useful in everyday living. Having generous empathy is good, but equally good is preventing spills so that empathy's not even an issue, as too much empathy can also be quite draining.

 

Tis better to ensure a kid puts on a helmet prior to riding his/her bike on the streets, rather than doing one's damnest in seeking the best possible medical care after the kid's been knocked over.

[Vmarco]

What Vmarco does not realize is that training well in relative bodhicitta eventually enables one to help others before they even realize they are about to get into trouble, or help others to avoid potential mishaps. This is called preventive compassion, something very useful in everyday living. Having generous empathy is good, but equally good is preventing spills so that empathy's not even an issue, as too much empathy can also be quite draining.

 

 

Oh no, not so. VMarco is most appreciative of relative bodhicitta practices, and would encourage the whole world to be such a society.

 

Met a gentleman a few months ago who lived in Buddhist Vietnam for three years,...just being in the vibration of that wonderful Buddhist environment, without knowing anything of Buddhism when he arrived, he said within 18 months his whole Christian indoctrinated sense of guilt dissolved (simply by entrainment I suppose).

 

Relative compassion,...especially the relative compassion of Buddhism and Taoism, are indeed a fertile ground through which absolute bodhicitta can be uncovered. A world that embraced the relative compassion of Buddhism and Taoism would expose the reality of Shambhala, and certainly attract the attention Awakened Beings.

 

V

[C T]

Oh no, not so. * VMarco is most appreciative of relative bodhicitta practices, and would encourage the whole world to be such a society.

 

Met a gentleman a few months ago who lived in Buddhist Vietnam for three years,...just being in the vibration of that wonderful Buddhist environment, without knowing anything of Buddhism when he arrived, he said within 18 months his whole Christian indoctrinated sense of guilt dissolved (simply by entrainment I suppose).

 

Relative compassion,...especially the relative compassion of Buddhism and Taoism, are indeed a fertile ground through which absolute bodhicitta can be uncovered. A world that embraced the relative compassion of Buddhism and Taoism would expose the reality of Shambhala, and certainly attract the attention Awakened Beings.

 

V

*That did not appear evident in your earlier posts.

 

Definitely agree with the last para.

[thelerner]

What is kindness? A girl just got dumped by her sweetheat and is overwhelmed with despair,...does kindness console her? Does kindness coddle her, saying everythong is OK?

 

Let's say there was a few people with this suffering girl, and one asked why are you so overwhelmed? To the other's there, this question is predisposed to be insensitive,...they want to bring her back into deep sleep where she is no longer in despair. They want to distract her with thoughts of eating, playing, dancing, and other romances. However, she replies, "I'm not good enough!" Then to the utter dismay of the other's, this person instructs the girl to say it again, to say again and again that she is "not good enough." And she does,...she says it again and again. All that are there (thelerner, Scotty, CT, Twinner) are in horror. The girls whole body is crying as she repeats she "is not good enough." Her voice changes to that of a young girl, as her body heaves with the tears. All that are there (thelerner, Scotty, CT, Twinner)want to put a stop to this cruelty. But then the girl smiles through her tear drench face,...a most beautiful smile. She saw the core issue of why she did not feel good enough. Not only was she no longer in despair, but was in a state of bliss.

 

What is loving kindness?

Yeah, and what if the dumped girl is falling out of a plane without a parachute, what then?? Everything needs balance. Intelligent judgement must be involved. Often the best compassion is simply presence. <by the way the girl going quickly from deep despair to state of bliss, seems a little forced. Like you don't have experience in the matter. Also giving comfort is not putting someone into a 'deep sleep'. You argue w/ either outlandish exaggeration or simplistic ones.>

 

Vmarco wouldn't comment on the child with a skinned knee. With a young child, a hug and kiss for the booboo is the right action. Older it's a help up and a 'go get'em'. Older still a sympathetic smile and nod. There is a judgement call involved. You won't always do the right thing, yet in the attempt we show our humanity. There are children who grow up not shown compassion and they turn into adults with cynical angry hearts.

 

As a person grows and gets stronger limited compassion is the way to go, but presence with the person, noiselessly letting them know you're there and care can be wonderful gift to a person going through a hard time. Its a particularly hard thing for men, to do and say nothing, just be there.

 

At its root compassion is treating others the way you'd like to be treated.