Expressing anger/setting boundaries..feeling pride versus sucking it up showing love all the time

[goldenfox]

There are times when righteous anger is appropriate, but being spat at or near (if it isnt spat on) is best handled with indifference. This is because the person who is doing it, if their intent is to do it to you specifically, and not just something they are doing with lack of awareness of you being there, is trying to express disdain towards you. They feel lesser than you or inferior, so they compensate by acting superior, or acting with disdain/disrespect. It is a way of saying "Look, see.. you think youre better than me, here's what i think of you." They actually want you to react, to take notice of them, to get your goat. Thats why ignoring them is best.

 

It just drives home the point, that they are just doing it to themselves to begin with. They are the ones feeling inferior, for whatever reason, and they are the ones internalizing and reacting to this feeling by acting out. What does it have to do with you? Its like the story of the man with the apple and the Buddha. The man placed an apple before the Buddha. He wanted to give it as a gift, but the Buddha perceived an impure motive behind the man's offering. Hence he did not take the apple. Did the apple belong to him then, even after being offered, or was it still the man's apple?

 

Sometimes there are subtle reasons why things like this happen on the path. It could be you were feeling low self esteem at the time. If you do this even unconsciously, if your qi is strong, you will be broadcasting your mental state to your surroundings. Egotistical people will pick up on that and react to you the way they are used to doing towards someone they consider inferior, with an air of superiority. If you feel down about yourself, they will feel down about you, and express it also. The other side of it is that you could have been feeling good about yourself, but subtly tinged with pride or superiority. This is a more subtle trap. Some people will pick up on this and feel your pride, and consider that you think highly of yourself, that you are better than them. They already feel inferior to some extent, and one will tend to compensate by assuming an air of superiority as a defense. The lesson in it all is that neither inferiority or superiority will do. We have to get to the point of equal vision, and perceive the non-dual nature of pure consciousness everywhere. Then none will appear truly inferior or superior to us, and we will never consider ourselves inferior or superior to others. It is all one pure consciousness pervading everywhere, despite whatever qualities are superimposed on it.

 

In those situation where a show of anger is appropriate though, it will not be because of our own projection reflected, but of someone else's projection onto us. Then like the proverbial snake we should "hiss, but not bite."

Edited May 10, 2012 by goldenfox