The Tao Te BORED;; Please Help.

[Tao Gweyn]

Boy, isn't the path just amazing? My experience has taken me places that I would have never imagined before finally bringing me to the point where I realized how important a walk is. And I started walking with everything I have.

 

A several months ago my walk was at "its highest point yet" and I found myself constantly seeking to be a sacrifice for others. After taking in a homeless man before the cold winter in minnesota, usa came, I started to notice a decline in my consciousness, my control over the mind, the re-emergence of lust, the use of self-gratification as a form of escape from the bordom, and worst of all television series addiction (on the computer).

 

It is important to outline what has lead to all of this, and what I have been doing about it, as breifly as I can... 3 years ago I started showing serious signs of "mental illness" which grew stronger and stronger to the point of running away from home without even finishing college. I blamed everyone, and life got terrifyingly difficult. All of a sudden as if grace lifted my burden I got into a housing subsidy and started recieving food stamps. This freedom was wonderful, but at the same time opened doors that were not there before. Having nothing to do without any worries. Complete free time. Too many things happened to go into, but I started walking a spiritual path, many more things happen, and then we get back to the homeless man moving in here.

 

I do not want to discount the work that I am still doing. My spiritual understanding (if you will) has never stopped growing, once it starts, it has not even slowed down, I am so on to all the tricks my mind has, yet I keep falling for the same tricks, even when I see them very clearly. The mind doesn't even bother anymore to try and talk me into it;;; I just cannot find the words to truly explain this frustrating situation;; truly its like sometimes I just say screw it to my willpower and let lust do whatever, or bordom lead me to spending all day on the computer...

 

And that leads me to what I really need to know... What is someone supposed to do with 24/7/365 of nothing to do and almost nothing to worry about?

 

It has lead me to complacency with where I am, laziness is very strong now, unless the benefits are good enough. I don't even go outside much amymore (seems my roommate has had that impact on me, he never goes outside except for work, and he is on the depressed side...) but no one truly is to blame except for my mind.

 

My second question is that present moment awareness is amazing and it is easy to get into that, however some situations, like sitting inside all day, or waiting for a bus, or waiting in general, lead to becoming VERY sick of the present moment. Sometimes my mind finds the present moment so boring in fact, it has even turned to drug use to escape. How can someone who has nothing to do make the present moment still fun to be in?

 

What does someone do? What is there to do? Where do I start?

[Informer]

I don't know if your present moment is as present as you think. There are tons of things to do in the present moment, and one of the most important is strengthening the spirit. (Our spirit)

 

Have you done work with self-inquiry, metta or MCO?

[eye_of_the_storm]

apparently there is

 

nowhere to go

 

nothing to do

 

nothing to be

 

that is my non answer? haha

 

start from there?

 

why not volunteer somewhere? soup kitchen?

 

or start gardening, growing fruit or veges - it's quite rewarding I think

 

doesn't cost much for a pack of tomato seeds... once that first tomato comes along you end up with an infinite supply of tomatoes forever

 

1 seed - the possibilities

 

read books? so much to learn! a lot of good things online too... most of the old and best classics are freee - whatever takes your interest

 

knowledge for the sake of knowledge / challenge your perception / thinking

 

civilization is on the brink / technocratic age / techno dreams = separation from your fellow Man and Nature

 

we have all become rather hopeless really

 

everything depending on everything else - society today is a drug

 

we live in a house (empire) of cards...

 

ready to fall at any moment

 

few today have any practical skills... the last great depression people still had practical skills and the ability to create things

 

today everybody is a consumer and little else, when society collapses... it will consume itself...

 

I suggest learn practical (survival) skills

 

why not get fit and strong just because also? sitting at home? push ups, sit ups, lunges, squats? I think one part generally neglected on the "spiritual path" is healthy body... mind body and soul all interconnected

Edited May 25, 2012 by White Wolf Running On Air

[Tao Gweyn]

I don't know if your present moment is as present as you think. There are tons of things to do in the present moment, and one of the most important is strengthening the spirit. (Our spirit)

 

Have you done work with self-inquiry, metta or MCO?

 

Techniques have been difficult for me to implement. I try some techniques with no success, and then perhaps a month later I have an experience and realize that is what the technique was pointing to, but it took experience to be able to replicate that state of consciousness.

 

As to the 3 techniques you mentioned, I have never heard of them, of course they may be simmilar to some that I have tried, though I could not be certian. Ever moment is spent in self-observation if that is what you meant by "self-inquiry", I feel my OP was a little more brutal than is true. Though of course that last sentance was prompted by fear of you thinking less of me because I am not as good as you, and pride in all that I have accomplished "over mear mortals"... so don't think much of it.

[dawei]

I see you verbatim posted this on more than one website... is that part of the computer addiction or 'nothing to do' feeling?

 

Maybe you have found our ultimate fate: "Nothing to do and nothing to worry about"... and it scares you since our society says otherwise?

 

If you can't find absolute relief in this then you may be seeking relief from society's demands.

[Tao Gweyn]

I see you verbatim posted this on more than one website... is that part of the computer addiction or 'nothing to do' feeling?

 

Maybe you have found our ultimate fate: "Nothing to do and nothing to worry about"... and it scares you since our society says otherwise?

 

If you can't find absolute relief in this then you may be seeking relief from society's demands.

 

I posted it all over the place because I am anxious to get an answer. These addictions keep burning me, no matter how many times I learn my lesson, that and each forum has a different set of people, each with their own unique views and thus perhaps more than one look at implementing a solution.

 

And yes, my whole life prior to my awakening was spent chasing after the next thing. Always learning, always seeking, always questioning. Even with complete free time, I never take time to lay down and relax. I don't know why I just can't relax. I mean I can, its just it feels like wasted time, or so my mind tells me.

[dawei]

I posted it all over the place because I am anxious to get an answer. These addictions keep burning me, no matter how many times I learn my lesson, that and each forum has a different set of people, each with their own unique views and thus perhaps more than one look at implementing a solution.

 

And yes, my whole life prior to my awakening was spent chasing after the next thing. Always learning, always seeking, always questioning. Even with complete free time, I never take time to lay down and relax. I don't know why I just can't relax. I mean I can, its just it feels like wasted time, or so my mind tells me.

And it sounds like you are seeking relief from the mind itself.

 

There is the mind; there is the emotions; there is the 6 senses... These interact with the environment and society. What I suspect you seek relief from is all this. Although my mind won't stop, I find relief in the 'inner sense'. We lost it at a young age and some realize they need to lose what was acquired to get back to it.

 

Zen story:

 

A monk asked the master Sengcan: "Master, show me the way to liberation."

Sengcan replied: "Who binds you?"

The monk replied: "No one binds me."

Sengcan said: "Then why do you seek liberation?"

[Informer]

Techniques have been difficult for me to implement. I try some techniques with no success, and then perhaps a month later I have an experience and realize that is what the technique was pointing to, but it took experience to be able to replicate that state of consciousness.

 

As to the 3 techniques you mentioned, I have never heard of them, of course they may be simmilar to some that I have tried, though I could not be certian. Ever moment is spent in self-observation if that is what you meant by "self-inquiry", I feel my OP was a little more brutal than is true. Though of course that last sentance was prompted by fear of you thinking less of me because I am not as good as you, and pride in all that I have accomplished "over mear mortals"... so don't think much of it.

 

I don't see it as being "over us" but for us.

 

Maybe you can correlate some of your experiences with other teachings and thing we talk about on the boards?

[Tao Gweyn]

I don't see it as being "over us" but for us.

 

Maybe you can correlate some of your experiences with other teachings and thing we talk about on the boards?

 

I re-read what you quoted, and I have to admit it doesn't sound at all what I meant. I am really bad at turning whatever it is that is in my head into words. But as far as my pride, it keeps showing me how much more "advanced" or whatever, not like it can be measured, control over the mind and also all that I know about everything. Of all of the voices in my mind, my pride gets me almost every time because I identify with it so much it doesn't have to be sneaky. And well look at that, that sounds like pride braging about itself. LOL

[Cheshire Cat]

What is someone supposed to do with 24/7/365 of nothing to do and almost nothing to worry about?

 

I want to join a daoist monastic community to find an answer.

But I think it is quite difficult to join a chinese monastery...

 

It's a shame that our society doesn't offer a "way" for those who want to

cultivate a desireless life.

To survive in society you must have strong desires and expectetions, you must work hard

...even if you are interested in mere subsistence.

[Protector]

Put an infinite number of people into an infinite empty van with nothing to do and they will start to play with their phones keys toys and whatever they can find in their pockets

Everyone is in a such a hurry to grow up, work, and chase each other that when they are in the van, they still try to do it

[Chang]

I posted it all over the place because I am anxious to get an answer. These addictions keep burning me, no matter how many times I learn my lesson, that and each forum has a different set of people, each with their own unique views and thus perhaps more than one look at implementing a solution.

 

And yes, my whole life prior to my awakening was spent chasing after the next thing. Always learning, always seeking, always questioning. Even with complete free time, I never take time to lay down and relax. I don't know why I just can't relax. I mean I can, its just it feels like wasted time, or so my mind tells me.

 

What on earth leads you to believe that you have had an awakening?

[Tao Gweyn]

What on earth leads you to believe that you have had an awakening?

 

By awakening, I refer to finally realizing why we are living, and also "awakening" the consciousness, instead of walking around in a trance like the whole american population is. Right now I am feeling I have to defend myself; as I mentioned in a prior post I made my situation sound worse than it really is, since I did not mention anything that I am doing that is still "good". The good news is that you are a manifestation of my mind, and that even though you are making me feel insequre, you are pointing out a flaw within me, yet again. Thank you.

[eye_of_the_storm]

I would like to hope I am more than just a mere projection of your mind...

 

so, why are we living?

[eye_of_the_storm]

maybe I am a projection of your mind which is projection of my mind which is a projection of

[Tao Gweyn]

maybe I am a projection of your mind which is projection of my mind which is a projection of

I guess the symbols that I used are not adequate. But yes, I feel that we came together for a reason! Our minds conjured each other to engage here; The collective mind is responsible for the tyranny that we live in, and the poison in our air, food, and water. The hardest part is accepting this as something that we cannot change; doing the best we can to find the most healthy choices, and move to a higher need, instead of getting stuck in such basic needs (TPTB want people to become obsessed with their lowest needs that they never pursue higher ones)

[eye_of_the_storm]

ah TPTB... devilish bunch they are

 

things do seem rather out of control and hopeless

 

I would say

 

It aint over til its over

 

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

 

become a spiritual warrior

 

honour, courage, strength - lets not forget wisdom

 

despair doesn't really get us anywhere

 

little things first

 

death by 1000 paper cuts?

 

or change through 1000 acts of kindness

 

The second love generation is on its way! feel the wave! ride the wave!

[Stosh]

One thing to consider is that craziness is far more contagious than sanity

depressives included.

Two,.. some laziness is probably a natural human attitude

folks who live in jungle tribes hang around a lot and spend less time busting a hump than "Westerners"

Three, ..procrastination , is a devious habit, that if you find yourself participating in, concentrate on all things being of equal emotional importance to you , so you just go ahead and do the things you know you really need to get done, ,,,,,,,,,chores really aint that horrible.

Four... do a hobby ,

pick stuff that has no consequence other than you like the doing of it.( I photograph birds and fish)

Five get yourself good and tired , itll be easier to relax.

Good luck

Stosh

[zanshin]

Sometimes my mind finds the present moment so boring in fact, it has even turned to drug use to escape. How can someone who has nothing to do make the present moment still fun to be in?

 

What does someone do? What is there to do? Where do I start?

 

So many delicious ways to waste time. Someone doing almost anything you can think of, but never mind what someone else does. TV is other people doing things. What do YOU want to do?

[Tao Gweyn]

So many delicious ways to waste time. Someone doing almost anything you can think of, but never mind what someone else does. TV is other people doing things. What do YOU want to do?

Funny you should word it that way. I find working, making money (beyond the amount you need to live, even if its just a little), working out (more than the daily exercise, like body building), the list goes on, but the people who engage in these activities do not see it as a waste of time, only people like me do.

 

What I don't consider a waste of time is spiritual work of any kind. Its just I burned myself out by doing too much of it. But now I want to get back into it, but the all pervasive issues are keeping me from being able to move forward spiritually:

~Loneliness I don't know where to go to meet people like me, especially in the suburbs with no daily activities that engage others

~The need to find someone to share my Love for, perhaps this is not somethign that I can strive for as it will come when its ready, but it fills a lot of the thoughts I do have

~Lust (a new old struggle, resurrected after 3 years of being dead)

~No daily rutine, which may help with the bordem

~No friends

~Extranged from family (not so much anymore, but I haven't seen them in years, and only talk on the phone once in a rare while)

~A strange living situation that prevents me from being able to work a paying job

~Very little money to do anything with (like buy art supplies) since most of it goes to paying internet, phone, electricity, and court fines from something I did long ago

~Non-conducive space-- people can say all they want about how the space you are in doesn't and shouldn't effect the good work, but I feel it truly does! Mechanical sounds all day from God knows what (my ears are my most sensitive sense, I cannot pull my awareness away from it unless I turn my consciousness off), loud traffic, heavy pollution from the 3M world headquartes down the street, heavy car pollution, ELF towers, Chem Trails, Shit Food, Shit Water, Shit Air, no nature unless you have a car to drive 25 miles, negitive energies from your neighbors who are closer than one likes to think about to your sacred space, the prevalence of demons in the astral plane effecting you every day (I can see the astral plane I believe when I focus on my third eye, its a lot easier when deeply relaxed and in the dark) its disgusting...

~No one to talk to anymore who knows about spiritual things, so I end up talking to my self, my cat or my roommate, my roommate is the only one that can offer anything new and most of the time he has no idea about what I am speaking of.

 

 

Maybe I just have a really negitive attitude. Just 4 months ago, I was so blissful that none of this stuff brought me down, it bothered me YEs, it did, but it didn't make me depressed.

 

 

(I made this list more to help myself, but I thought I'd post it to maybe help others in the future who search for this topic... I have been helped in this way many times from this forum)

[Informer]

I re-read what you quoted, and I have to admit it doesn't sound at all what I meant. I am really bad at turning whatever it is that is in my head into words. But as far as my pride, it keeps showing me how much more "advanced" or whatever, not like it can be measured, control over the mind and also all that I know about everything. Of all of the voices in my mind, my pride gets me almost every time because I identify with it so much it doesn't have to be sneaky. And well look at that, that sounds like pride braging about itself. LOL

 

ROFL!

 

[amoyaan]

Hey Tao Gweyn, I found this thread interesting and could actually relate to what you're expressing somewhat. It does sound like you've got the 'awakening' part and seen through the absolute hollowness of maya, or the conceptual, mind-driven world 99.99% of people exist in. Once this occurs, it takes a long time for this realisation to assimilate and integrate and there can be periods of imbalance and discomfort.

 

I'm not sure if you're familiar with the Indian concept of the 'gunas', which are basically the three qualities or states of mind we flit between and we can often get stuck in a particular one. Here's a v basic summary: http://tridosha.com/ayurveda/gunas Basically, the tamas state is when we're feeling heavy, our mind/senses are dull, lethargic or lazy. When there's a predominance of rajas, we feel restless, uptight, anxious, materialistic and obsessive. Sattva is the ideal state, because it's a state of harmony and balance of body and mind, and in this state we can more easily meditate, remain mindful and aware of and embodying our true nature. It's worth being aware of the gunas that are at work in us. When you said you were in a blissful state before, that was because you were in a sattvic state and the light of the self/no-self/whatever was reflected in a still and pure mind. Perhaps now you have a slight excess of tamas, creating this sense of boredom, apathy or whatever.

 

Diet can be a big one. You can read up on the diet and gunas online. Generally, 'heavy' foods like red meat, potatoes, etc can create an imbalance of tamas. There's lots of info online about a more sattvic diet.

 

Activities also have a bearing. I think some exercise might help balance the energies and get you feeling more switched on. I know you don't have much money as you said, but finding some activities you find enjoyable. The energy of enjoyment is a really powerful way of shifting our levels of consciousness...you know, finding that joy (following your bliss as J Campbell put it) and hanging out in it as much as you can. Maybe, as someone else suggested, some charity work, if you can find somewhere you resonate and people there you feel comfortable with. Spending time around trees, plants and water is also v helpful and balancing - difficult in a city, I know, unless there are any parks?

 

This is all stuff that has helped me. Oh, and meditation and self-enquiry has been key; self-enquiry as in the form Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta et all prescribed, basically enquiring into the nature of self and 'who am I?', or 'what am I?' as I prefer. You've prob done similar yourself, I imagine. Do what works for you. Hope that helps. It is quite lonely and alienating when you're going through this kind of 'shedding of normality' as I sometimes think of it. It can be a lonely path as so so few in the world have any clue. They're too busy doing losing themselves just about every single waking moment in what they do. Once you've begun to see through that crap, it's impossible to go back again. The red pill has done and is doing its job...

[Lucky7Strikes]

If you feel loneliness, it isn't because you have no one to communicate with, but it's because you are constantly holding onto and reflecting back to yourself and ego. If you are bored, it's because you are attached to the securities you have built around yourself. If you are struggling with lust, go find ways to transmute that energy into something creative or there are plenty of energy practices. Your desire is basically chained to the object of human form, so let is disperse into other areas as well.

 

Let go of yourself and let life enter you, and life is pretty goddamn scary without you there, but it is also very exciting if you don't know the next moment of arising. Good luck.

Edited May 28, 2012 by Lucky7Strikes