Stupid joke thread

[Protector]

For every dollar a man makes a woman makes 70 cents

 

 

...which is not fair since man is left with only thirty

[Birch]

[Birch]

[thelerner]

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. Coronel Sanders was chasing it.

 

Q. Why did the whale cross the road?

A. To get to the other tide.

[Apech]

Jean Paul Sartre walks into a cafe.

Waiter: What can I get for you, sir?

Sartre: I'd like a coffee but with no cream.

Waiter: I'm sorry sir, we're out of cream.

Sartre: Then I'll have a coffee with no milk.

[chi 2012]

What was the name of the unreleased song that Elton John and Michael Jackson wrote together?

 

Answer: Don't let your son go down on me.

[thelerner]

A Modest Proposal

 

I think we bums need to do more then 'chat' about issues, We need to take ACTION!!

 

I propose we fund a project to give 8 or 9 pit bulls to each member of the Tea Party. I'll need a thousand dollars from each member to make this dream come true. Or if you think that's a crazy idea, we could just collect $50 each and get the dogs from local pounds. BAM, I've just saved each person $950!!

 

There's a place we can rent to keep the dogs by the Keller Preschool for the blind.

 

I don't see how anyone could object to this idea.

 

If you like the Tea Party and like Pit Bulls then

its a great because it make members more powerful.

 

If you don't like the Tea Party and don't like Pit Bulls then

its great because the pit bulls will attack the Partiers.

 

If you don't like the Tea Party and like Pit Bulls then

its great because the Pit Bulls will show love and mellow the Tea Partiers.

 

If you like the Tea Party and don't like Pit Bulls then

..maybe.. I got nothing, but what are the odds of that happening.

 

I can't see why anyone would be against this plan.

Edited May 31, 2012 by thelerner

[Brian]

Creative, you are.

 

To make it even better, we should get the funds from members of some other forum!

 

 

OK, I got one:

 

A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve strings here."

 

The string, dejected, goes outside. Then he has an idea! He steps into the alley, throws himself on the ground and rolls around -- back & forth and round & round until he is a tangled-up mess.

 

Then he walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "wait a minute! Aren't you that string I just threw outta here?"

 

The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

[Taomeow]

Q: Mom, what do they call that useless thingie that grows at the end of a boy's weenie?

A: A man.

[Mal]