Porn addiction

[resonant111]

i've been trying for the past year to completely eliminate "willful ejaculation" from my life. in my experience, there is no benefit to ejaculation whatsoever (besides a moment of fleeting pleasure) and i would much rather use the sexual potential energy in other endeavors.

 

nonetheless, the porn habit of my past CONTINUALLY comes back to haunt me. i can go up to a month circulating the energy, but sometimes an overwhelming lust overtakes my being. the lust always comes back in the form of porn images i used to watch. i try to meditate, i try to "do something else" to forget about it, but the once the images start i can't stop them. the longer i try to "forget" about the images, the stronger they seem to become.

 

it usually ends up with me "giving in" to the temptation and releasing my seed to some trashy porno flick.

 

how can i overcome this obstacle? i feel so empty and depleted after watching this stuff...i always say "never, ever again!" but it always comes back.

 

any advice?

[thelerner]

[Aaron]

i've been trying for the past year to completely eliminate "willful ejaculation" from my life. in my experience, there is no benefit to ejaculation whatsoever (besides a moment of fleeting pleasure) and i would much rather use the sexual potential energy in other endeavors.

 

nonetheless, the porn habit of my past CONTINUALLY comes back to haunt me. i can go up to a month circulating the energy, but sometimes an overwhelming lust overtakes my being. the lust always comes back in the form of porn images i used to watch. i try to meditate, i try to "do something else" to forget about it, but the once the images start i can't stop them. the longer i try to "forget" about the images, the stronger they seem to become.

 

it usually ends up with me "giving in" to the temptation and releasing my seed to some trashy porno flick.

 

how can i overcome this obstacle? i feel so empty and depleted after watching this stuff...i always say "never, ever again!" but it always comes back.

 

any advice?

 

The answer is don't watch porn. Keep in mind men are much more visually aroused than women, hence the reason we tend to be more attracted to pornography. If you're having a problem and looking at porn is causing you to feel guilty, then try to find an alternative to watching porn, fantasy, sex with a partner, etc. In the end I see nothing inherently wrong with sex, but there is some question in my mind about the use of pornography, especially hardcore pornography that degrades women, as a tool for sexual release. In the end the decision is up to you, but I would recommend that while you're still a young teen up til your early-twenties, that it may be extremely hard to abstain from sex completely, so maybe you should set more realistic goals and be careful of setting up extremes in your life. If you're suffering because of your abstinence, then is it really helping you, unless you're intent on being a martyr?

 

 

Aaron

 

Edit- Above all, don't feel guilty because you have a desire to have sex, it's natural and normal. If what you're doing is not harming you or others, then there is no need to feel bad. By harm I mean causing you physical or emotional harm, I don't mean causing angels to cry or Buddha to 'tsk, tsk'.

 

Much of the emotional baggage we carry regarding sex is a result of our childhood. My firm belief is that we are not born bad or sinful and nothing that arises from us naturally is bad or sinful, that includes lust, rather it is our actions towards others that cause harm. So be more intent on the harm and less on the sin.

Edited June 4, 2012 by Twinner

[resonant111]

Strange as it sounds, I'd say ejaculate every week and half or two. Frankly if you're not heading for monkhood or priesthood I don't think you need to be overly strict with it. Keep up your meditations and practices and there may be a time celibacy comes naturally. Perhaps in the winter you could try a 100 day thing, but in the spring and summer you're fighting nature.

 

well i usually go two weeks before i "give in" and masturbate but i always feel terrible afterwards. not in a guilt sense, so much as my entire being just feels like crap.

 

i express almost all the symptoms of post-orgasmic illness syndrome: irritability, anxiety, depressed mood, difficulty socializing, not feeling any empathy for anyone. for physical symptoms i get incredibly painful headaches which last up to 5 days after i ejaculate and feel very lethargic and tired.

 

that's why i want to take the path of "no willful ejaculation." it just ruins me. i feel like if i truly "need to release" my body should do it in it's sleep. the horrible symptoms never seem to happen after wet dreams, so i'm thinking it is a much more natural release than masturbating at this point.

 

porn is the ONLY thing that gives me an urge to masturbate, so i was just wondering how i can overcome that i guess.

Edited June 4, 2012 by resonant111

[Fū Yue]

Instead of trying to turn away from the impressions or suppress them, maybe you can analyze them in order to break down the cause behind their appearance. What about them attracts you so/ why is it manifesting in such a way. You seem to wish to change your view on sexuality at a fundamental level, and in order for that to happen you have to go into the temptation, the lust, and you have to find the root of that habit.

 

Aversion never really works out the way we want it to, often just giving the opposition more reason to intrude upon our mind.

 

Just remember that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Only once you've accepted the feelings that arise... then you can work past them, because they're no longer seen as an obstacle, something that's getting in the way. You know? Like twinner said, engage more than just your lust. Use your mind in order to concoct interesting fantasies, improving your visualizations. Bring feeling, smell, taste, all the sensory perceptions into it. Experiment. Have fun!

[Mokona]

well i usually go two weeks before i "give in" and masturbate but i always feel terrible afterwards. not in a guilt sense, so much as my entire being just feels like crap.

 

i express almost all the symptoms of post-orgasmic illness syndrome: irritability, anxiety, depressed mood, difficulty socializing, not feeling any empathy for anyone. for physical symptoms i get incredibly painful headaches which last up to 5 days after i ejaculate and feel very lethargic and tired.

 

that's why i want to take the path of "no willful ejaculation." it just ruins me. i feel like if i truly "need to release" my body should do it in it's sleep. the horrible symptoms never seem to happen after wet dreams, so i'm thinking it is a much more natural release than masturbating at this point.

 

porn is the ONLY thing that gives me an urge to masturbate, so i was just wondering how i can overcome that i guess.

 

How long do these feelings last? About a day or two after? That's normal, it's a hormone release. I wish I had a link to better explain, in most guys it takes a bit of training not to release so much of that after the deed. It's the main cause of the symptoms you feel. I'll get back in a day or two with more info.(At work and don't want to google this stufff)

[resonant111]

How long do these feelings last? About a day or two after? That's normal, it's a hormone release. I wish I had a link to better explain, in most guys it takes a bit of training not to release so much of that after the deed. It's the main cause of the symptoms you feel. I'll get back in a day or two with more info.(At work and don't want to google this stufff)

 

yes, the symptoms are especially strong right after ejaculation and persist for 2-3 days. i still feel a bit off on days 4-6 but after that i start to feel normal again.

 

in contrast, when i go over a week without ejaculating i start to feel really good...confident, full of energy, easier to socialize, easier to meditate, etc.

 

this "good vibe" is always ruined if i mb to porn...

 

 

Instead of trying to turn away from the impressions or suppress them, maybe you can analyze them in order to break down the cause behind their appearance. What about them attracts you so/ why is it manifesting in such a way. You seem to wish to change your view on sexuality at a fundamental level, and in order for that to happen you have to go into the temptation, the lust, and you have to find the root of that habit.

 

Aversion never really works out the way we want it to, often just giving the opposition more reason to intrude upon our mind.

 

Just remember that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Only once you've accepted the feelings that arise... then you can work past them, because they're no longer seen as an obstacle, something that's getting in the way.

 

Good advice, aversion never works but at the same time it's difficult to just "accept" these images as they flood into my consciousness. I've tried letting the thoughts run their course but like i said, the images/fantasies just keep flooding in until the point where i just watch the videos so i don't have to think about it anymore.

 

I feel like certain porn images are emblazoned into my mind...on a deep subconscious level i'm highly "turned on" by them, yet on the conscious level i'm trying to deny their existence. certainly a dilemma.

Edited June 4, 2012 by resonant111

[Clarity]

[resonant111]

Without getting into logical explanations about what's going on, I can offer some energetic support.

 

First, you have a weakness to celibacy coming from your spiritual experiences, corrected and deleted to 100% with infinite potential, zero to the power of minus infinity.

 

There's also a molestation weakness that seems to get triggered after ejaculation. That weakness then triggers a shame response weakness, also corrected and deleted.

 

There's also some weak energy around contracts, vows, and pledges—it feels like you took a vow and when you break it you are paying for it with these 'symptoms.'

 

 

what do you mean by "corrected and deleted"?

 

 

We can also disentangle your mind from the association with these images right now and remove all of the physical and non-physical connections.

 

That'd definitely be helpful

Edited June 4, 2012 by resonant111

[Apech]

I would suggest that pleasure patterns set up cycles in the body ... energetic/neurological - take your pick. The reason that you repeat is that the pattern is inertic and self repeating. By repeated activity you have become subject to it rather than it being subject to you. Pleasure is associated for you with porn ... because of past activity. For someone else it could be sex addiction with a partner ... or some other kind of pleasure ... food, drugs whatever. The porn is not the problem ... the problem is the energy locked into an inertic cycle.

 

Its very hard to just stop. I think this is only likely to be achieved by a sudden and complete change in circumstances. To remove yourself from the triggers entirely and distract yourself. But this is not a real solution.

 

The best way to deal with it is to slowly and methodically break it down. Set some goals which extend the time you spend between ejaculations. Timetable it. If say you now last 10 days say, then target 14 days ... work out the date and give yourself that target. then a longer and longer period. Until you are lasting a long time. Then when you feel you are on top of it and not it on top of you - vow to stop entirely.

 

That's how I would approach it.

 

I would also look at the psychological and physiological reactions you are having. Some of these might be because you feel guilty or have a mass of stored negative feelings about what you are doing. This is part of the trap. ironically guilt or other feelings will tend to make you less likely to break the cycle. Guilt in fact is trapped will. Try to make yourself relax about the whole thing ... see it as a challenge to do with mastering your energy and freeing up your will.

 

Just my thoughts. Good luck with it.

[Clarity]

what do you mean by "corrected and deleted"?

 

 

 

That'd definitely be helpful

 

I'm using Chinese Energetics to clear your energetic weaknesses (Yuen Method). When I say it's been corrected and deleted, that means the weak energy has been made strong and the weakness has been removed from your energy field.

[Seth Ananda]

i've been trying for the past year to completely eliminate "willful ejaculation" from my life. in my experience, there is no benefit to ejaculation whatsoever (besides a moment of fleeting pleasure) and i would much rather use the sexual potential energy in other endeavors.

 

nonetheless, the porn habit of my past CONTINUALLY comes back to haunt me. i can go up to a month circulating the energy, but sometimes an overwhelming lust overtakes my being. the lust always comes back in the form of porn images i used to watch. i try to meditate, i try to "do something else" to forget about it, but the once the images start i can't stop them. the longer i try to "forget" about the images, the stronger they seem to become.

 

it usually ends up with me "giving in" to the temptation and releasing my seed to some trashy porno flick.

 

how can i overcome this obstacle? i feel so empty and depleted after watching this stuff...i always say "never, ever again!" but it always comes back.

 

any advice?

Great!

twinners reply was perfect. Just stop watching porn. Become a fascist about it for a bit if that helps. A friend of mine talks about becoming an ejaculation Nazi. "No ejaculation for you!" Remember the soup nazi from seinfeld? "No soup for you!" become a porn Nazi - "No porn for you" And add Ejaculation in there.

 

I fully fully support you in stopping both junk habits. They are both empty and depleting.

Learn a bunch of circulation/transmutation and sublimation exercises.

 

And when the energy builds up which it will, get a life.

 

Find things to put that energy into. do shaking practices, go dancing, make love for 5 hours without ejaculating, work on your dream whatever...

 

You will slowly also become 'horny tolerant', which means you will become comfortable and even start to enjoy the high level of energy you are carrying around. It changes the nervous system over time, and will begin to naturally {even without meditation} produce the higher states of consciousness and bliss. Your mind will become clear and stable. And you wont get sick nearly as often...

 

The Danger here is ego inflation. people will be very attracted to you, and you tend to become more persuasive, than your flat post ejaculation self. Keep to honor and Integrity as the rule.

 

 

How does it work?

I'll describe the Tantric angle in a simple way.

The 'agitation' of built up sexual energy, that most mundane men just want to relieve them selves of, or 'get it out' so to speak, is actually energy stimulating your nerves and chakra's. It first stimulates the base chakra, and the sexuality of the base chakra is procreation, ie ejaculatory sex. Keeps the human race what Tantra calls Pashu's or herd like, as nearly all men give in to this base chakra agitation as soon as they feel it, if not faster... lol. They are depleted flat beings.

 

If a sincere practitioner resists this for longer, the energy is filling them up slowly, the stimulation effect the second chakra, which brings emotions, a more active dream life, a greater chance of wet dreams, and produces pleasurable and sensual feelings in the pelvic cradle. One will feel very sensuously aroused here. Dont Ejaculate!

 

Next it reaches manipur or third chakra, fire! Here the mind becomes firm and stable, and concentration goes through the roof. Use it for your life, yes, but make sure spiritual aspirations are number one, because that is the reason to bother with any of this in the first place.

 

Next comes the heart. Yum. It just gets better and better from here on up. Heart opening, Love! Amazing. Having some good heart practice for here is very good, like metta meditation or any love sending/radiating practice. Master Choi kok Sui's twin heart meditation is particularly good if i remember rightly...

 

Thats all I am going to say on the progression as its better to go in open and unsuspecting to the higher center's... lol

 

 

Any questions?

[et-thoughts]

the longer i try to "forget" about ... , the stronger they seem to become.

 

any advice?

 

The way not to think of an apple is to think of an elephant!

The more you try to 'forget a memory' the stronger the memory gets... thus work at remembering something else... acknowledge what happening and choose to focus on what you want to happen.

 

The way to will the clouds away ...

... isn't to send them energy rays to vanish and evaporate them clouds

... its to will a clear sky... and just experience the clear sky.

if you doubt for an instant and want to check if them clouds have vanished they will be there once again...

Just remember that its best not to mess with the weather... just wish the perfect experience always

[resonant111]

I would suggest that pleasure patterns set up cycles in the body ... energetic/neurological - take your pick. The reason that you repeat is that the pattern is inertic and self repeating. By repeated activity you have become subject to it rather than it being subject to you. Pleasure is associated for you with porn ... because of past activity. For someone else it could be sex addiction with a partner ... or some other kind of pleasure ... food, drugs whatever. The porn is not the problem ... the problem is the energy locked into an inertic cycle.

 

Its very hard to just stop. I think this is only likely to be achieved by a sudden and complete change in circumstances. To remove yourself from the triggers entirely and distract yourself. But this is not a real solution.

 

It's plausible that it might be more about this "pleasure pattern" than the porn itself. It's just strange that the pattern is always triggered by the latent porn images blazed into my mind.

 

The way not to think of an apple is to think of an elephant!

The more you try to 'forget a memory' the stronger the memory gets... thus work at remembering something else... acknowledge what happening and choose to focus on what you want to happen.

 

The way to will the clouds away ...

... isn't to send them energy rays to vanish and evaporate them clouds

... its to will a clear sky... and just experience the clear sky.

if you doubt for an instant and want to check if them clouds have vanished they will be there once again...

Just remember that its best not to mess with the weather... just wish the perfect experience always

 

This is true. If i sit here and try "not to think about porn" i always end up thinking about it, lol. Like you said, i think the most effective way to deal with it is to just focus my energy on something else, although it's not always easy.

 

Great!

twinners reply was perfect. Just stop watching porn. Become a fascist about it for a bit if that helps. A friend of mine talks about becoming an ejaculation Nazi. "No ejaculation for you!" Remember the soup nazi from seinfeld? "No soup for you!" become a porn Nazi - "No porn for you" And add Ejaculation in there.

 

I fully fully support you in stopping both junk habits. They are both empty and depleting.

Learn a bunch of circulation/transmutation and sublimation exercises.

 

And when the energy builds up which it will, get a life.

 

Find things to put that energy into. do shaking practices, go dancing, make love for 5 hours without ejaculating, work on your dream whatever...

 

You will slowly also become 'horny tolerant', which means you will become comfortable and even start to enjoy the high level of energy you are carrying around. It changes the nervous system over time, and will begin to naturally {even without meditation} produce the higher states of consciousness and bliss. Your mind will become clear and stable. And you wont get sick nearly as often...

 

The Danger here is ego inflation. people will be very attracted to you, and you tend to become more persuasive, than your flat post ejaculation self. Keep to honor and Integrity as the rule.

 

 

Sweet, thanks for the input. I think part of the reason i've been getting such a strong negative reaction after using porn is because i've started to really notice the subtle energetic difference from sublimating the energy.

 

i take it as a wake-up call. my bodymind is telling me "c'mon now, evolve. there's nothing in this ejaculation business, it's time for you to take the next step here." my periods of no ejaculation have always brought me a sense of peace, greater awareness etc. and the noticeable empty feeling after an orgasm is like proof that sublimation is the path i need to take up.

 

i'm glad you support my intentions here. sometimes i wonder if i get too obsessive about the non-ejaculation, transmutation stuff so it's nice to see someone with a similar viewpoint.

 

oh and you mentioned something about vivid dreams...that is something i definitely notice after a few weeks of working with the energy...my dreams are practically lucid, i remember patterns/things from my childhood i forgot about etc.

[Seth Ananda]

 

Sweet, thanks for the input. I think part of the reason i've been getting such a strong negative reaction after using porn is because i've started to really notice the subtle energetic difference from sublimating the energy.

 

i take it as a wake-up call. my bodymind is telling me "c'mon now, evolve. there's nothing in this ejaculation business, it's time for you to take the next step here." my periods of no ejaculation have always brought me a sense of peace, greater awareness etc. and the noticeable empty feeling after an orgasm is like proof that sublimation is the path i need to take up.

 

i'm glad you support my intentions here. sometimes i wonder if i get too obsessive about the non-ejaculation, transmutation stuff so it's nice to see someone with a similar viewpoint.

 

oh and you mentioned something about vivid dreams...that is something i definitely notice after a few weeks of working with the energy...my dreams are practically lucid, i remember patterns/things from my childhood i forgot about etc.

No problem mate

 

There really is a reason why all the great cultivation traditions used this practice originally.

Tantra and Taoist texts for thousands of years have pointed to this, although at some point many Daoist schools, [southern if I remember Eva wong correctly] became more moderate about it, saying it was ok to ejaculate once a week or once a month.

 

I too experimented with this for years, but it just in no way whatsoever compares to, or measures up to proper cultivation.

 

I personally believe it was laziness or the teachers trying to make this science more palatable, to get more willing male students, that created this decline in the teachings.

 

Every man everywhere feels the loss of connection, the mild loss of Interest in his woman, and the loss of energy after ejaculation. Only some are honest enough to admit it to them selves.

Athletes report their performance time is down after ejaculation.

 

I find when I am doing well in Horse stance, If I then ejaculate, I loose stability and some of the time I can normally do it for, and the differences it makes to meditation are phenomenal...

 

I will never go back, because once you get it right, and learn how to manage the energy, and how to accommodate it better within ones nervous system it is just so ridiculously Good, and enjoyable on so many levels, and one Orgasm compromises that.

 

All for a tiny squirt in the dark with a single pulse of pleasure... lol.

 

Weighing them against each other is like weighing a million ton block of Gold against a feather weight dog poo.

 

 

But for the people who are not Interested in spiritual matters and want to be fairly bland conventional people, I fully encourage ejaculation.

 

Or for people who are arm chair seekers, who think they are advanced because their heads are full of philosophy ideas and who sit there patting them selves on the back for their 'occasional' moments of intuitiveness or mild meditation experiences, I fully recommend ejaculation. lol

 

And for men who want to have mediocre sex, leaving their partner unfulfilled and not even aware of the depths her body can take her too, as she has never been given a 5 hour gentle lovemaking session where every bit of her vagina and cervix starts to wake up, literally splitting her mind and heart open in soul wrenching ecstatic surrender, leaving her worshiping the God that you are from the radiant core of her wonderful being... well, try ejaculation!

Edited June 6, 2012 by Seth Ananda

[resonant111]

No problem mate

 

There really is a reason why all the great cultivation traditions used this practice originally.

Tantra and Taoist texts for thousands of years have pointed to this, although at some point many Daoist schools, [southern if I remember Eva wong correctly] became more moderate about it, saying it was ok to ejaculate once a week or once a month.

 

I too experimented with this for years, but it just in no way whatsoever compares to, or measures up to proper cultivation.

 

I personally believe it was laziness or the teachers trying to make this science more palatable, to get more willing male students, that created this decline in the teachings.

 

Every man everywhere feels the loss of connection, the mild loss of Interest in his woman, and the loss of energy. Only some are honest enough to admit it to them selves.

Athletes report their performance time is down after ejaculation.

 

I find when I am doing well in Horse stance, If I then ejaculate, I loose stability and some of the time I can normally do it for, and the differences it makes to meditation are phenomenal...

 

I agree. Everytime i try the "occasional ejaculation" route or whatever it just feels like a waste. One ejaculation and it feels like i'm right back at square one...have to totally build the energy up again. It's like rolling a boulder up a hill just to push it back down.

 

 

I will never go back, because once you get it right, and learn how to manage the energy, and how to accommodate it better within ones nervous system it is just so ridiculously Good, and enjoyable on so many levels, and one Orgasm compromises that.

 

All for a tiny squirt in the dark with a single pulse of pleasure... lol.

 

Weighing them against each other is like weighing a million ton block of Gold against a feather weight dog poo.

 

I'm going to get there. It's been my goal this entire year to "not go back" but i keep slipping up. I know i can do it though, just gotta keep pushing forward till' i get it right. Lot of it is just clearing out my old, stale patterns which has been a process, no doubt.

 

 

But for the people who are not Interested in spiritual matters and want to be fairly bland conventional people, I fully encourage ejaculation.

 

Or for people who are arm chair seekers, who think they are advanced because their heads are full of philosophy ideas and who sit there patting them selves on the back for their 'occasional' moments of intuitiveness or mild meditation experiences, I fully recommend ejaculation. lol

 

And for men who want to have mediocre sex, leaving their partner unfulfilled and not even aware of the depths her body can take her too, as she has never been given a 5 hour gentle lovemaking session where every bit of her vagina and cervix starts to wake up, literally splitting her mind and heart open in soul wrenching ecstatic surrender, leaving her worshiping the God that you are from the radiant core of her wonderful being... well, try ejaculation!

 

 

 

Ok, I'm going to bump this thread the next time i get those urges to use porn. The advice has been helpful and it's nice to get input other than "it's totally natural and good for your prostate...just jerk off!"

Edited June 5, 2012 by resonant111

[Cat Pillar]

Screw it, I'm going celebate. (pun intended)

 

You do a real good job of expressing the benefits, Seth. You ever worked sales?

 

It's been something I've been meaning to try anyways. I honestly have no good reason to be wasting that energy in the first place. In fact, one might say that my situation is ideal for this.

 

Looking forward to seeing how it turns out.

 

Resonant111, I wish you well with your endeavor!

[chi 2012]

Napoleon Hill says the best salesmen have a highly sexed nature. I take this to mean that the best salesman have lots of sex. He also hints at using sexual energy and directing it towards goals and constructive activities. So, I guess a "highly sexed" salesman would even have more charisma if he never ejaculated. I don't know - when I practice lots of Qigong people are attracted to my "peaceful" energy. When I don't ejaculate I can be moody and aggressive. "Qigong charisma" and "sexual energy" charisma seem like two different things.

[Cat Pillar]

Napoleon Hill says the best salesmen have a highly sexed nature. I take this to mean that the best salesman have lots of sex. He also hints at using sexual energy and directing it towards goals and constructive activities. So, I guess a "highly sexed" salesman would even have more charisma if he never ejaculated. I don't know - when I practice lots of Qigong people are attracted to my "peaceful" energy. When I don't ejaculate I can be moody and aggressive. "Qigong charisma" and "sexual energy" charisma seem like two different things.

 

I experience chronic fatigue, fogginess of mind, and general lack of energy/motivation. Part of that is because I smoke too much weed (another thing I'm quitting this month - going to visit my family soon, and will be the perfect detox opportunity) but I think celibacy will do a lot towards bringing some spring back into my step.

[Aaron]

I'm sorry resonant111 if my suggestion that it's all right to masturbate offended you. I would suggest that you have been brainwashed by the religious majority into believing that sex is bad and evil, that it depletes us of good energy, slowly withers us away, builds negative karma, and the list goes on. The fact is if you can control someone's sexual conduct, you can control how they think and behave. This is the essence of celibacy. In fact celibacy was intended to prevent a monk from having any outside attachments, other than the temple he was a part of, plain and simple.

 

My last comment, there is nothing wrong with you as a person. If you are having negative physical responses then I would say it most likely is in response to the guilt you feel in regards to your actions. Especially if it's only when you look at porn. You can continue to believe that you're on a higher road, but in reality you're just going against the natural order, that's why it's so damn hard for you to stop doing it. Of course you can believe everything you're hearing about enlightenment and high level energy practice, but I know that any good and reliable teacher would never recommend these practices to you until you had reached the highest level of training and were able to understand the full implications of them.

 

I'm sorry if I'm not stroking your ego or telling you that you're doing the right thing, I'm just telling you like it is. If you're still young, I will guarantee you two things, you'll either continue to slip up and masturbate now and again, feeling guilty and miserable in the process, or you will eventually just give up trying to be celibate all together because you just can't do it. Now there is also the chance that you'll make it, but that's very, very, slim. It would take a very strong mind to be able to overcome those urges as a young man and most young people just haven't attained that degree of strength yet.

 

Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

Aaron

[Seth Ananda]

Napoleon Hill says the best salesmen have a highly sexed nature. I take this to mean that the best salesman have lots of sex. He also hints at using sexual energy and directing it towards goals and constructive activities. So, I guess a "highly sexed" salesman would even have more charisma if he never ejaculated. I don't know - when I practice lots of Qigong people are attracted to my "peaceful" energy. When I don't ejaculate I can be moody and aggressive. "Qigong charisma" and "sexual energy" charisma seem like two different things.

Sure, the moodiness passes though, and will be replaced by something better

[Aaron]

I experience chronic fatigue, fogginess of mind, and general lack of energy/motivation. Part of that is because I smoke too much weed (another thing I'm quitting this month - going to visit my family soon, and will be the perfect detox opportunity) but I think celibacy will do a lot towards bringing some spring back into my step.

 

Umm... if you're smoking a lot of pot of course you're going to be tired and foggy. You can try celibacy, but I would recommend that you start being active, playing sports, getting out and doing stuff, that's the best cure for your lethargy and fogginess. Qigong and Kundalini isn't physical exercise by the way, so you can do that, but don't supplement it for the real thing. In the meantime if you really feel that you need to be celibate, I would recommend just trying to maintain celibacy for a period of time, i.e. make realistic goals, prior to beginning any energy practices. If you are practicing qigong or kundalini, then make sure you're doing it under the guidance of an authentic teacher. The authentic teacher is probably going to look at you like you're a little crazy and ask you why you want to do that? If they don't ask you why, then they're most likely just interested in your money.

 

I know it's hard for people to believe, but I'm not advocating masturbation because I can't maintain celibacy, I can actually go a very long time without having sexual urges of any type, rather I am trying to remind people that it's completely normal to have sexual urges. I think much of this self control comes with age and a decrease in testosterone and all the other chemicals that propel us to procreate.

 

So again, If you decide to become celibate and begin these types of energy practices, make sure it's for the right reason and make sure you have a good teacher to instruct you.

 

Aaron

[resonant111]

You can continue to believe that you're on a higher road, but in reality you're just going against the natural order, that's why it's so damn hard for you to stop doing it. Of course you can believe everything you're hearing about enlightenment and high level energy practice, but I know that any good and reliable teacher would never recommend these practices to you until you had reached the highest level of training and were able to understand the full implications of them.

 

I appreciate your response, it's good to see other viewpoints on this.

 

I entered this process out of curiousity. I didn't flat out "believe" the teachings when i first came across them...I was pretty skeptical about it at first, but i gave it a shot and the difference was highly noticeable. When i maintain/circulate the energy for a decent period of time i start running on a natural high vibration from moment to moment. When i ejaculate i don't feel different because i "believe" in some teaching...my personal "vibration" is noticeably altered and i no longer run on that natural high i mentioned. i can't deny that the sense of "loss" i experience after ejaculation DOES contribute somewhat to these negative feelings, but so does the ejaculation itself.

 

I used to be a guy who wanked every single day of my life, so i've seen both sides of this coin. I've tried moderate ejaculation too, as mentioned, but at this point i feel that stopping ejaculation entirely is best for my own situation. I'm going all in, if you will...

 

Even if i don't reach my goals it's not a big deal...worst that happens is i keep repeating the same cycle over and over again. The potential benefits outweigh the risks so i might as well try.

Edited June 5, 2012 by resonant111

[Cat Pillar]

Umm... if you're smoking a lot of pot of course you're going to be tired and foggy. You can try celibacy, but I would recommend that you start being active, playing sports, getting out and doing stuff, that's the best cure for your lethargy and fogginess. Qigong and Kundalini isn't physical exercise by the way, so you can do that, but don't supplement it for the real thing. In the meantime if you really feel that you need to be celibate, I would recommend just trying to maintain celibacy for a period of time, i.e. make realistic goals, prior to beginning any energy practices. If you are practicing qigong or kundalini, then make sure you're doing it under the guidance of an authentic teacher. The authentic teacher is probably going to look at you like you're a little crazy and ask you why you want to do that? If they don't ask you why, then they're most likely just interested in your money.

 

I know it's hard for people to believe, but I'm not advocating masturbation because I can't maintain celibacy, I can actually go a very long time without having sexual urges of any type, rather I am trying to remind people that it's completely normal to have sexual urges. I think much of this self control comes with age and a decrease in testosterone and all the other chemicals that propel us to procreate.

 

So again, If you decide to become celibate and begin these types of energy practices, make sure it's for the right reason and make sure you have a good teacher to instruct you.

 

Aaron

 

I practice Kunlun Neigong under Max. I've already contacted him regarding this and am awaiting a reply.

 

I'm well aware that energetic practices are not physical exercise. I already have plans for becoming more active (which is why I'm looking for a Bagua teacher in my area.) I have some exercises from when I was taking Wing Chun to get me started in the meantime. Quitting the green stuff is just the first step, cuz I'll need that extra energy to keep up my motivation for practicing.

 

I know sexual urges are natural and I don't have any shame issues around it. I just want to see what kind of difference preserving sexual energy makes in my practice. It's not that I feel any kind of need to be celibate, it's something I want to try.

[Aaron]

I appreciate your response, it's good to see other viewpoints on this.

 

I entered this process out of curiousity. I didn't flat out "believe" the teachings when i first came across them...I was pretty skeptical about it at first, but i gave it a shot and the difference was highly noticeable. When i maintain/circulate the energy for a decent period of time i start running on a natural high vibration from moment to moment. When i ejaculate i don't feel different because i "believe" in some teaching...my personal "vibration" is noticeably altered and i no longer run on that natural high i mentioned. i can't deny that the sense of "loss" i experience after ejaculation DOES contribute somewhat to these negative feelings, but so does the ejaculation itself.

 

I used to be a guy who wanked every single day of my life, so i've seen both sides of this coin. I've tried moderate ejaculation too, as mentioned, but at this point i feel that stopping ejaculation entirely is best for my own situation. I'm going all in, if you will...

 

Even if i don't reach my goals it's not a big deal...worst that happens is i keep repeating the same cycle over and over again. The potential benefits outweigh the risks so i might as well try.

 

I would still recommend that you practice under a teacher that knows what they're doing. You can actually cause yourself more harm than good if you don't know what you're doing and a video or book aren't sufficient enough for this level of practice, in my opinion. Either way, good luck, but don't kick yourself if it doesn't work out.

 

If you want some practical advice for avoiding porn, you might want to consider what I said earlier and also when you feel the urge to look at porn find something else to do that wont increase the urges. Normally there are periods of time when you experience those urges, but after a few days, sometimes a week or two, they go away and you're fine. It's really like riding out the storm, find someplace safe where you can wait it out. The important thing is to avoid things that will trigger it, like suggestive movies, the beach, etc. Hope that helps.

 

Aaron