Excess yang also the topic of reacting to emotional violence from women and social conditioning

[skydog]

I feel like im really "progressing" with this stuff but then I do a couple of "socially unnacceptable" in other peoples eyes things. On the other hand this can also be seen as having stronger boundaries.

 

For example women often project extreme emotional violence on men yet if you even threaten or come close to physical violence, your made out to be hitler. I am saying this to sort of balance out the extreme reaction that such a thing would cause in most peoples socially conditioned heads.

 

Anyways with these practices sometimes I feel my yang is too much, say after working (I havent worked in months) I get very aggresstive.

 

What can I do to cool this down.

[z00se]

I feel like im really "progressing" with this stuff but then I do a couple of "socially unnacceptable" in other peoples eyes things. On the other hand this can also be seen as having stronger boundaries.

 

For example women often project extreme emotional violence on men yet if you even threaten or come close to physical violence, your made out to be hitler. I am saying this to sort of balance out the extreme reaction that such a thing would cause in most peoples socially conditioned heads.

 

Anyways with these practices sometimes I feel my yang is too much, say after working (I havent worked in months) I get very aggresstive.

 

What can I do to cool this down.

 

Chicks can be very nasty. The emotional violence is just like physical violence too but neither are good. One doesn't deserve the other. You need to become better than the other person.

 

Also you need to remember that you are living in a place filled with people with these socially conditioned heads. You don't want them all against you. Sometimes you can act like a conditioned person even though you aren't one, just to fit in and get along with others. This is what is called developing virtue. This is the single most important thing about becoming enlightened and living in society. Even if you meditate like a buddah, i don't think you can get far in spirituality if people are against you. If you have great virtue and have everybody with you instead of against you, spirituality becomes easy. But you must behave as you want to.

 

One way of dealing with emotional violence from women (my girlfriends or wife or whatever not just some random at the pub) that i've found good is to be honest and open yourself up. Just to tell them what they're saying or doing isn't very nice and how would they like it if i did a similar kind of thing to them? Tell them it doesn't make you feel good and you feel hurt. Now they can either discuss it with you, or understand how you're feeling and stop. Or they can ridicule you and make you feel stupid and weak for having sad feelings. If this happens then either you have to understand that this girl is always going to give you emotional violence because she enjoys trying to hurt you, and try to find another way to deal with it, or just find another better girlfriend, one that will help you keep a good mood and you can cultivate your energy with. It might be scarey to open yourself up to ridicule to a person who is already being emotionally violent with you, but infact even if they try to make you feel even worse you kind of gain an inner strength because then you know how you stand with this person, and if you end up liking them less, their opinion of you or their emotional violence hurts you less. Either that or you can beat the crap out of them, but then you gotta take what comes with that after.

 

 

Try learn 6 healing sounds. Do those and your anger and aggressiveness will reduce. Alcohol makes it worse too, but i think everyone knows that.

[Aaron]

The first thing and only thing you need to remember is that no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. The second thing is take responsibility for your actions. No matter what someone else does, unless they are physically threatening you, there is no justification for physical violence. If someone is causing you emotional pain to the degree that you want to become violent, then WALK AWAY. Don't try and talk it out, leave. If you are already that upset that you want to hurt someone, the chances that you'll be able to come to some kind of resolution that will cure the pain you're feeling is very slim, even an apology might not be enough.

 

The important thing to remember is that you need to take responsibility for your part in these events. If this woman is making you that angry, what did you do to cause her to want to make you that angry? Figure that out and if the relationship is worth it to you, stop doing that. If it's not or you feel justified in your actions, then take whatever steps you need to take to ensure that neither of you continue to be harmed.

 

In the end we can justify nearly anything we do, but that doesn't mean other people are going to agree with your justifications and in the case of violence towards women, in my opinion, nothing short of having your own life threatened justifies violence towards a woman. This isn't social conditioning but rather being aware that I am a man who is stronger than a woman and it's my responsibility to protect women, not harm them. I hope you find a way to resolve your problems, but til you do remember you can always walk away, but if you choose not to, you may not get that chance, you may instead find yourself in a small room with other men, many of whom don't look to kindly on this sort of thing.

 

Aaron

Edited July 14, 2012 by Twinner

[z00se]

No matter what someone else does, unless they are physically threatening you, there is no justification for physical violence.

 

I think this is a bit hairy fairy. I've heard that countless times from other people too (who were just copying what they'd heard without using their own brain no doubt) but violence is used to keep people in line and under control. Traditionally men have been more powerful, and so they lead a family like a king rules a country. The king uses violence to punish and so can the man of the household.

 

in my opinion, nothing short of having your own life threatened justifies violence towards a woman. This isn't social conditioning but rather being aware that I am a man who is stronger than a woman and it's my responsibility to protect women, not harm them.

 

Is it the tigers fault he's a tiger? Tigers hunt and kill animals thats what they do. Man is stronger than woman so why shouldn't they dominate over them? Over analyising it with moral thoughts is just confusing. I see it a bit like the alpha male lion who uses violence to keep the pack doing what he wants them to do, so that they can all survive. With the power he's got comes responsibility to keep the pack safe. The man has a responsibility to look after his family.

 

Infact i don't agree with this equal rights crap at all. It's not equal at all, it's more like women want the things that men have but don't want to give up the things that women have and let men do them. Women only want to take. They make these womens groups and lobby and all this crap but if you listen to them they do nothing but winge and complain and then start trying to get support from each other in a big hoo ha. It's not much different watching those women activist groups than watching jerry springer or ricki lake. It's a bit like not hitting your children. Since all this not hitting of children has come in we got kids being more naughty than ever and their behaviour is getting worse and worse, it's very easy to see in schools. Then the only way they can be punished is by mentally or emotionally punishing them, and how big is the mental health problem becomming now. I'm not saying you smack them around the head to give them brain damage but a smack on the bum at times is good i think.

 

That being said, I definately don't advocate domestic violence at all and i have never hit a girl (not that i haven't wanted to some times but i fought with my inner urges for the sake of conforming to society). The original poster seems to want advice on how he can become less aggressive so he wants to change his behaviour for his own benefit which is good. I don't want to suggest that this shouldn't be done but just want to illustrate how indeed he is thinking outside the square when he says that everyone is just conditioned to think it is bad - when in fact just by looking at other countries we can see that not all humans have been conditioned this way.

[Protector]

You know, almost a hundred percent of people who started a fight and died were people who thought their opponents were weak

[skydog]

The first thing and only thing you need to remember is that no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. The second thing is take responsibility for your actions. No matter what someone else does, unless they are physically threatening you, there is no justification for physical violence. If someone is causing you emotional pain to the degree that you want to become violent, then WALK AWAY. Don't try and talk it out, leave. If you are already that upset that you want to hurt someone, the chances that you'll be able to come to some kind of resolution that will cure the pain you're feeling is very slim, even an apology might not be enough.

 

The important thing to remember is that you need to take responsibility for your part in these events. If this woman is making you that angry, what did you do to cause her to want to make you that angry? Figure that out and if the relationship is worth it to you, stop doing that. If it's not or you feel justified in your actions, then take whatever steps you need to take to ensure that neither of you continue to be harmed.

 

In the end we can justify nearly anything we do, but that doesn't mean other people are going to agree with your justifications and in the case of violence towards women, in my opinion, nothing short of having your own life threatened justifies violence towards a woman. This isn't social conditioning but rather being aware that I am a man who is stronger than a woman and it's my responsibility to protect women, not harm them. I hope you find a way to resolve your problems, but til you do remember you can always walk away, but if you choose not to, you may not get that chance, you may instead find yourself in a small room with other men, many of whom don't look to kindly on this sort of thing.

 

Aaron

 

To be honest this posts wreaks of the same kind of socially conditioned moronic rubbish I was talking about. I will address each point you make, just because I feel like it then i will try to find my own solution.

 

1) You can take responsibility for your actions, yeah fine, but some people take that too far, and believe that everything that a woman does is their own fault, in my opinion this is self hatred.

2)You talk about walking away, yet I read a post of yours last week where you hit someone in the face, to be honest I didnt think it was a massive deal, but lets get real if a womans been screaming at you for the last three hours and calling you names and won't stop and has been pretty much doing it her whole life telling someone to walk away is ridiculous.

3)Nothing short of having your life threatens justifies violence towards a woman..hey but what about a man, thats ok right? now you can give me some bogus reply but Im pretty sure your thoughts are exactly the kind of rubbish everyone else has.

4) "This isn't social conditioning just being aware that I am a man who is stronger than a woman and it is my duty to protect her" Whooaaa whoaa whooaaa hold on, since when does everyone ahve to be the knight in shining armour. I see this kind fo rubbish all the time. Women do lots of abusive things to a man and the man knows nothing about it then a man jumps in and tries to play the hero. Sounds like you. Yeah I am stronger than the woman since when does that mean its my duty to protect her. Ill protect whoever I want to protect such as myself from being screamed at with insults for three hours everyday or my brother from being reduced to tears nearly everyday. Why should I protect a woman who I consider evil and hateful. Why because shes a woman? Should I protect smaller men too? They have the right too emotionally abuse bigger men right? But bigger men must protect them right?

 

Sorry but your post has some good points but is filled with garbage, which actually is pretty destructive.

 

I agree with taking responsibility and perhaps walking away but some people enjoy seeing you hurt and push really far.

 

However first poster is right I should go along with rules of social conditioning and conform because that is going with the flow and not going against it. I can walk away, laugh or do healing sounds. To be honest I don't like this idea of opening up I feel some women actually want to hurt me but perhaps I will try it thanks for your post.

Edited July 14, 2012 by sinansencer

[skydog]

You know, almost a hundred percent of people who started a fight and died were people who thought their opponents were weak

 

Your right a womans strength often lies in the society and these socially conditioned knights in shining armour that jump in and try to play the hero.

[Protector]

Man, why are there so many posts around here describing women as mythical beasts that must be studied?

What happened to all the yin energy everyone keeps talking about?

[skydog]

Man, why are there so many posts around here describing women as mythical beasts that must be studied?

What happened to all the yin energy everyone keeps talking about?

 

perhaps you've never suffered emotional abuse from a parent or woman mr plaboy king

[skydog]

Oh and in case your wondering this is not from a girlfriend..

 

this is (even more socially despicable) from my mother who I feel has been very emotionally violent throughout my life and was screaming and insulting me for one day for like three hours and just wouldnt stop, despite logical reasoning, so i went to sleep feeling stressed awakened still listening to her screaming and put my hand over her mouth and my fist close to her face. Then she called the police and now my mum and I havent talked in a week. I live with her and Im 21, yes I know Im old enough to live with myself, but frankly Ive just come back from travelling and I have no job or money at the moment.

 

also my brothers girlfriend is doing things which seem to make my brother cry everyday. I was in my room and had no way to vent except facebook and expressed that if she keeps doing this i will shove my foot in her face. Unknowingly she has my brothers facebook and saw what i wrote started arguing and now my brother wont speak to me anymore.

[suninmyeyes]

While suffering emotional abuse is very real and traumatic - being nasty is a general human trait regardless of gender and physical violence should not be used unless physically treathened .

As Twinner says - walk away. I certanly do if it gets too hot.

 

We could go into gender differences , but that is not going to solve this kind of situations either or bring peaceful resolution.

Wrong approach never brings desired results.

It would only flame up the fire inside that is already burning and this can be potentialy harmful on personal and social basis in general.

A lot of introspection and thinking of oneself not only as an individual , but as a part of a society and miniscule ,but very important part of this vast universe too - is so important.

Becouse we coexist, there is no individual units separate from the rest. We need to try and be sharp and cool , acting responsable for us as a individual and as part of the whole according to the situation.

I love the meaning of Ubuntu - 'I exist , becouse you do.'

 

 

What zOOse said:

'Traditionally men have been more powerful, and so they lead a family like a king rules a country. The king uses violence to punish and so can the man of the household. '

 

- Has this sort of attitude brought us much goodnes and wellbeing?

Has it brought peaceful coexistance and bettter life ? Has it brought on better enviroment ? Are women happy with this sort of ideas?

Has it made erath heal?

 

 

I am sadened and sorry that quite a few of fellow bums feel this way towards women and really pray and hope for peace and emotional satisfaction for all. As well as deep understanding , insight and free heart.

[skydog]

While suffering emotional abuse is very real and traumatic - being nasty is a general human trait regardless of gender and physical violence should not be used unless physically treathened .

As Twinner says - walk away. I certanly do if it gets too hot.

 

We could go into gender differences , but that is not going to solve this kind of situations either or bring peaceful resolution.

Wrong approach never brings desired results.

It would only flame up the fire inside that is already burning and this can be potentialy harmful on personal and social basis in general.

A lot of introspection and thinking of oneself not only as an individual , but as a part of a society and miniscule ,but very important part of this vast universe too - is so important.

Becouse we coexist, there is no individual units separate from the rest. We need to try and be sharp and cool , acting responsable for us as a individual and as part of the whole according to the situation.

I love the meaning of Ubuntu - 'I exist , becouse you do.'

 

 

What zOOse said:

'Traditionally men have been more powerful, and so they lead a family like a king rules a country. The king uses violence to punish and so can the man of the household. '

 

- Has this sort of attitude brought us much goodnes and wellbeing?

Has it brought peaceful coexistance and bettter life ? Has it brought on better enviroment ? Are women happy with this sort of ideas?

Has it made erath heal?

 

 

I am sadened and sorry that quite a few of fellow bums feel this way towards women and really pray and hope for peace and emotional satisfaction for all. As well as deep understanding , insight and free heart.

 

Your right It only makes sense to go the right approach.

 

I actually love women in general and have lots of women friends. I went off an emotional tangent about " some psychotic women" not "women.

 

I do not think of myself as "different" but when I start thinking of my mother and how psychotic she can be as well as having to describe the difference between violence towards a man and to a woman I have to use the word women. Neverthless words easily bring about misunderstanding which has nothing to do with the topic.

Edited July 14, 2012 by sinansencer

[Protector]

No, I did not set an opinion on billions of people from interacting with just one of them

I don't think I will get to know these billions even a little bit from interacting with millions of them

It would be easier if I could come to a conclusion that all women are the same but I can't do that since it goes against the very first line of tao te ching, excluding the title

I can't even be sure about all the people I label as crazy since I try not to judge

People try to be better then themselves and better then others by removing what makes themselves and the others worse, but Taoists are different

Try not to hurt anyone or get angry at anyone

People who have killed or stole something are judges as wrong, standing above them by not killing or stealing makes everyone else better

Not wanting to be a bad person keeps people from doing bad things

It's too late for people who already made a mistake

No telling if they will make a mistake again so they are pushed away

They loose the chance to change when they are labeled and judged

Who knows what will happen if you give someone a chance

Who knows what kind of person is standing before you

Half of that gets decided by the one who judges things as they see fit

Everything else depends on the person being judged

[skydog]

No, I did not set an opinion on billions of people from interacting with just one of them

I don't think I will get to know these billions even a little bit from interacting with millions of them

It would be easier if I could come to a conclusion that all women are the same but I can't do that since it goes against the very first line of tao te ching, excluding the title

I can't even be sure about all the people I label as crazy since I try not to judge

People try to be better then themselves and better then others by removing what makes themselves and the others worse, but Taoists are different

Try not to hurt anyone or get angry at anyone

People who have killed or stole something are judges as wrong, standing above them by not killing or stealing makes everyone else better

Not wanting to be a bad person keeps people from doing bad things

It's too late for people who already made a mistake

No telling if they will make a mistake again so they are pushed away

They loose the chance to change when they are labeled and judged

Who knows what will happen if you give someone a chance

Who knows what kind of person is standing before you

Half of that gets decided by the one who judges things as they see fit

Everything else depends on the person being judged

 

nice post thanks

[skydog]

often I think im clever until things show me how little i know and this is how it must be

often i think there is no good or bad until i experience, excitement, joy, worry

I must really know it

who is it who is peaceful, there is just nothing

Often I think im being good and doing the right thing, but I am just as selfish

the way water flows is always the way it flows whether I want it to or not

I must allow and be one with it, I am one with it, I am part of it

[Aaron]

z00se,

 

What did you want people to say in regards to this post? The OP says, "I feel like hitting some girl/woman" or possibly had hit some girl or woman, and we're supposed to say, "Oh, if she pissed you off then that's alright bro!" This isn't conditioning, it's f-ing common sense. Common sense says that there's no excuse for hitting someone else, especially someone smaller than you, unless they posed a threat to you. How can hurting your feelings pose a threat to you? You complain about no corporal punishment, but it seems like you believe it's alright to hit someone if they hurt your feelings. So in this light it's alright for every eight year old who's called a poo-poo head to hit the kid who's calling them that name?

 

You need to stop believing that every aspect of society is conditioned, some are just common sense. We don't hit ANYONE simply because they called us a name, there has to be an actual threat of PHYSICAL violence. This isn't just the law, but the common consensus amongst modern educated men and women. Now if you really feel that way, there are numerous countries you can move to that feel the same way as you do, just look up "Oppressive social fascism" and you should find them.

 

Aaron

[Aaron]

often I think im clever until things show me how little i know and this is how it must be

often i think there is no good or bad until i experience, excitement, joy, worry

I must really know it

who is it who is peaceful, there is just nothing

Often I think im being good and doing the right thing, but I am just as selfish

the way water flows is always the way it flows whether I want it to or not

I must allow and be one with it, I am one with it, I am part of it

 

I haven't talked to my mother in over three years. She asked me to call her and I never did. She was, and I'm certain still is, very abusive. There is no reason why you need to put up with that crap. Try to find someplace else to stay, or contact family services. Abuse is abuse, just don't go hitting her or harming yourself because of it. The people who can hurt us the most are the ones who we love the most. It's sad but true.

 

Aaron

Edited July 14, 2012 by Twinner

[z00se]

Oh and in case your wondering this is not from a girlfriend..

 

this is (even more socially despicable) from my mother who I feel has been very emotionally violent throughout my life and was screaming and insulting me for one day for like three hours and just wouldnt stop, despite logical reasoning, so i went to sleep feeling stressed awakened still listening to her screaming and put my hand over her mouth and my fist close to her face. Then she called the police and now my mum and I havent talked in a week. I live with her and Im 21, yes I know Im old enough to live with myself, but frankly Ive just come back from travelling and I have no job or money at the moment.

 

also my brothers girlfriend is doing things which seem to make my brother cry everyday. I was in my room and had no way to vent except facebook and expressed that if she keeps doing this i will shove my foot in her face. Unknowingly she has my brothers facebook and saw what i wrote started arguing and now my brother wont speak to me anymore.

 

You got to think if your mum is going that nuts well there must be something wrong, at least in her eyes. Try to see it from her point of view it might make you more understanding. Try to help her knowing that you're probably going to get attacked right back even though you are being kind. She and your brother must have a bad view of you at the moment because of how they are acting to you but you can change that if you want, just be patient and know they won't change their view in a day, it will probably take a few months.

 

I rekon if you got no money, no job and nowhere to live you just got to put up with the screaming and try to get along with them the best you can. If i had a son and he pissed me off like you must have done at some stage for your mum to be screaming so much i think i would be doing well to let you live in my house. That would be my love for my son. But if he came and put his hand over my mouth and told me to shut up, overpowering me, or made me feel scared in any way, well i would be making sure he didn't live in my house any more.

 

Everybody's point of view is right, i'm sure you have reasons for feeling how you do and so does your mum. But you gotta make this work for you dude, you don't wanna be kicked outside and living in the cold. Just say sorry, do some chores, buy ya mum some cheapo flowers and try make it up even if it's not you're fault. 1-2 hours of chores and some flowers might start to change their opinion anyhow. Either that or you can use force and try to make that work for you..... but i don't think it seems to be working for you so far, may be wise to change your style of attack.

[skydog]

z00se,

 

What did you want people to say in regards to this post? The OP says, "I feel like hitting some girl/woman" or possibly had hit some girl or woman, and we're supposed to say, "Oh, if she pissed you off then that's alright bro!" This isn't conditioning, it's f-ing common sense. Common sense says that there's no excuse for hitting someone else, especially someone smaller than you, unless they posed a threat to you. How can hurting your feelings pose a threat to you? You complain about no corporal punishment, but it seems like you believe it's alright to hit someone if they hurt your feelings. So in this light it's alright for every eight year old who's called a poo-poo head to hit the kid who's calling them that name?

 

You need to stop believing that every aspect of society is conditioned, some are just common sense. We don't hit ANYONE simply because they called us a name, there has to be an actual threat of PHYSICAL violence. This isn't just the law, but the common consensus amongst modern educated men and women. Now if you really feel that way, there are numerous countries you can move to that feel the same way as you do, just look up "Oppressive social fascism" and you should find them.

 

Aaron

 

 

Abuse is abuse. and Emotional Abuse is a lot more harmful in my opinion than getting hit once (which I didn't even do) This kind of abuse gave me anger problems, confidence problems, shyness problems. It has been occuring because my mother got fucked up from her mother and dumps all her shame onto her kids when she gets angry. I came back from my holiday and for a week everyday she was ncie but had one occasion of absolutely craziness to which she apologised the next day. I managed to meditate on my lower dan tien which I was impressed with but the next day I lost it. You push someone to far and look what happens. Don't come in with this shit of "calling us a name" in the tibetan tradition bullying is regarded as bad as rape is and I agree with that. You hurt on the inside your heart hurts and you feel pain. In our society if a man gets hit by a woman you should just sit there and laugh to me thats pretty stupid and has nothing to do with equal rights.

[skydog]

You got to think if your mum is going that nuts well there must be something wrong, at least in her eyes. Try to see it from her point of view it might make you more understanding. Try to help her knowing that you're probably going to get attacked right back even though you are being kind. She and your brother must have a bad view of you at the moment because of how they are acting to you but you can change that if you want, just be patient and know they won't change their view in a day, it will probably take a few months.

 

I rekon if you got no money, no job and nowhere to live you just got to put up with the screaming and try to get along with them the best you can. If i had a son and he pissed me off like you must have done at some stage for your mum to be screaming so much i think i would be doing well to let you live in my house. That would be my love for my son. But if he came and put his hand over my mouth and told me to shut up, overpowering me, or made me feel scared in any way, well i would be making sure he didn't live in my house any more.

 

Everybody's point of view is right, i'm sure you have reasons for feeling how you do and so does your mum. But you gotta make this work for you dude, you don't wanna be kicked outside and living in the cold. Just say sorry, do some chores, buy ya mum some cheapo flowers and try make it up even if it's not you're fault. 1-2 hours of chores and some flowers might start to change their opinion anyhow. Either that or you can use force and try to make that work for you..... but i don't think it seems to be working for you so far, may be wise to change your style of attack.

 

Thanks for your reply. I agree sometimes there is aspects of things which I am not doing right. However instead of asking me to do something which I would do I just get screamed at for not doing it or leaving a shirt somewhere which I didn't or waiting for my mum to take me somewhere shes late and at the last second I go to the toilet then she accuses me of being late and starts screaming at me. She doesnt even have logical basis when I ask why shes shouting she gets even worse. But yes I will do my best to acknowledge my part in this but when I was younger I used to think I was a bad kid because my shame based mother is dumping all her past shit on me when she gets in a bad mood. I think its one step better to not believe that and believe she actually has no reason to shout at me and I am perfectly fine the way I am.

[z00se]

z00se,

 

What did you want people to say in regards to this post? The OP says, "I feel like hitting some girl/woman" or possibly had hit some girl or woman, and we're supposed to say, "Oh, if she pissed you off then that's alright bro!" This isn't conditioning, it's f-ing common sense. Common sense says that there's no excuse for hitting someone else, especially someone smaller than you, unless they posed a threat to you. How can hurting your feelings pose a threat to you? You complain about no corporal punishment, but it seems like you believe it's alright to hit someone if they hurt your feelings. So in this light it's alright for every eight year old who's called a poo-poo head to hit the kid who's calling them that name?

 

You need to stop believing that every aspect of society is conditioned, some are just common sense. We don't hit ANYONE simply because they called us a name, there has to be an actual threat of PHYSICAL violence. This isn't just the law, but the common consensus amongst modern educated men and women. Now if you really feel that way, there are numerous countries you can move to that feel the same way as you do, just look up "Oppressive social fascism" and you should find them.

 

Aaron

 

What you say isn't common sense Aaron, it is the opposite. Why did we need to learn that women should be treated equally when it is commonly known man is stronger. You can hurt who you want as long as you are willing to accept the results, which in western society may not be good. Hurting your feelings can give you cancer, make you die if you are always depressed. Emotional clearing is all what the healing tao is about so physical illness can recover after emotions are balanced. Hell yeah, if people hit people when they call them names then it would stop alot of name calling. There would be a hierarchy, Naturally. I sense you have a feeling of being superiour because you are amongst the 'modern educated men' group and label the others as 'oppressive social fascism'. It makes you feel good that you are above nature, and have developed 'better' ways. Open your eyes and see what is really there. America f**k's over all the little countries and steals their oil. Is sneaky and provides arms to countries to let them destroy themselves. What name did the educated call that one? 'Fair game'? When your society falls and the education is all lost, then what. It goes back to natural ways, and the tao is strong. It is widely known that education is leads one away from the tao. Education comes and goes, the tao is the eternal truth that stays forever. What you educated men talk about is what is enforced by the society you live in and believe to be the way it is. It's only the way it is here, now, it's not the usual way.

 

- Has this sort of attitude brought us much goodnes and wellbeing?

Has it brought peaceful coexistance and bettter life ? Has it brought on better enviroment ? Are women happy with this sort of ideas?

Has it made erath heal?

 

Has it made the earth heal? What the? He's fighting with his mum and he should worry about whats going to make the earth heal? The earth doesn't need us to help it heal, we just need to leave it alone and stop screwing with it and it can heal it's self. Just like you let the tao heal your body, you just need to stop screwing with it via the ego. Women accepted it as normal before, so they were happy with it. If they got some of the animals that the man hunted then they were happy with it. This man stronger than woman thing has kept humans well for 1000's of years. This equal rights thing has been around for 100 years or so and it's already stuffing things up. Let nature take it's course, that is the right way, not treating things equally when they are not. Not saying man is better than woman but they are not equal, they are NOT THE SAME.

 

If your mum is psychotic it changes things a bit doesn't it? Have you ever had experience with this kind of thing? You need even more patients than normal, or just try to leave the person. But how can you leave if you got nowhere to go? My advice is just do some chores, try to help out, try to be the 'golden child' even better than your brother. Meantime try hard to get a job and get the hell outta there if it makes you feel uncomfortable like it seems it does.

[skydog]

I haven't talked to my mother in over three years. She asked me to call her and I never did. She was, and I'm certain still is, very abusive. There is no reason why you need to put up with that crap. Try to find someplace else to stay, or contact family services. Abuse is abuse, just don't go hitting her or harming yourself because of it. The people who can hurt us the most are the ones who we love the most. It's sad but true.

 

Aaron

 

Thanks for your post.

Edited July 15, 2012 by sinansencer

[skydog]

What you say isn't common sense Aaron, it is the opposite. Why did we need to learn that women should be treated equally when it is commonly known man is stronger. You can hurt who you want as long as you are willing to accept the results, which in western society may not be good. Hurting your feelings can give you cancer, make you die if you are always depressed. Emotional clearing is all what the healing tao is about so physical illness can recover after emotions are balanced. Hell yeah, if people hit people when they call them names then it would stop alot of name calling. There would be a hierarchy, Naturally. I sense you have a feeling of being superiour because you are amongst the 'modern educated men' group and label the others as 'oppressive social fascism'. It makes you feel good that you are above nature, and have developed 'better' ways. Open your eyes and see what is really there. America f**k's over all the little countries and steals their oil. Is sneaky and provides arms to countries to let them destroy themselves. What name did the educated call that one? 'Fair game'? When your society falls and the education is all lost, then what. It goes back to natural ways, and the tao is strong. It is widely known that education is leads one away from the tao. Education comes and goes, the tao is the eternal truth that stays forever. What you educated men talk about is what is enforced by the society you live in and believe to be the way it is. It's only the way it is here, now, it's not the usual way.

 

 

 

Has it made the earth heal? What the? He's fighting with his mum and he should worry about whats going to make the earth heal? The earth doesn't need us to help it heal, we just need to leave it alone and stop screwing with it and it can heal it's self. Just like you let the tao heal your body, you just need to stop screwing with it via the ego. Women accepted it as normal before, so they were happy with it. If they got some of the animals that the man hunted then they were happy with it. This man stronger than woman thing has kept humans well for 1000's of years. This equal rights thing has been around for 100 years or so and it's already stuffing things up. Let nature take it's course, that is the right way, not treating things equally when they are not. Not saying man is better than woman but they are not equal, they are NOT THE SAME.

 

If your mum is psychotic it changes things a bit doesn't it? Have you ever had experience with this kind of thing? You need even more patients than normal, or just try to leave the person. But how can you leave if you got nowhere to go? My advice is just do some chores, try to help out, try to be the 'golden child' even better than your brother. Meantime try hard to get a job and get the hell outta there if it makes you feel uncomfortable like it seems it does.

 

Thanks for the reply..

[Birch]

Move out.

[Harmonious Emptiness]

Thanks for your reply. I agree sometimes there is aspects of things which I am not doing right. However instead of asking me to do something which I would do I just get screamed at for not doing it or leaving a shirt somewhere which I didn't or waiting for my mum to take me somewhere shes late and at the last second I go to the toilet then she accuses me of being late and starts screaming at me. She doesnt even have logical basis when I ask why shes shouting she gets even worse. But yes I will do my best to acknowledge my part in this but when I was younger I used to think I was a bad kid because my shame based mother is dumping all her past shit on me when she gets in a bad mood. I think its one step better to not believe that and believe she actually has no reason to shout at me and I am perfectly fine the way I am.

 

This post is healthy as you are putting things in perspective enough to ground yourself in some reality beyond the insanity. I believe art therapists call it "writing your own story" which is important to be able to do especially for the disempowered and at risk. From this point you can make some progress from a position of confidence and health and try to bring your adversary to the same position by "being the change you want to create."

 

I suggest writing it all out and writing your mother a letter. Verbal communication can be difficult and antithetical when feelings and emotions are chaotic, so there are times when calmly writing down your ideas is more effective.

 

Rest assured, mothers can get emotionally chaotic and possibly for reasons beyond their physical command such as menopause (NEVER TELL THEM THIS, HOWEVER), and also maybe feelings of loosing control when their "babies" have grown up and think for themselves. When people are internally chaotic they often try to control the external things, and people, around them (says 18thC Taoist master Liu I Ming, long before Freud or Jung).

 

However, keep in mind that her feelings of "loosing control" might be slightly well founded as young men and women are at least just as predisposed to playing control\independence games with their parents which they might not realize is more conspicuously offensive to the "breadwinner \ head of the household" than they think.

 

I'm not sure what kind of Taoist practices you are doing but you could add some more Yin types of practice such as basics from Chun Yi Lin.