The Continuum Concept

[sean]

Via Wellness Associates

 

Liedloff spent several years with the people of the Yequana and Sanema tribes of South America. They were the happiest people she had ever seen. The children never fought, were never punished, and obeyed happily and instantly. Her western perceptions of human nature totally demolished, she emerged with a radical understanding of our deepest needs and potentialities for wellbeing--and of the means through which we may begin to heal ourselves and save our children.

 

Most crucial is the cognition that the way we treat our very young is a primary cause of the alienation, neuroses, and unhappiness that is normative in the civilized worlds. The infant's early experiences influence all that he becomes. The growth of independence and emotional maturity spring largely from the in-arms phase of life outside of the womb, i.e., the phase prior to the commencement of crawling.

 

In "continuum-correct" cultures, the infant's experiences correspond to his and his mother's ancient expectations. Mother and child remain in close contact from the moment he emerges from the womb. The umbilical cord is not cut until it ceases to pulsate. The infant is given the breast. This is the moment of "imprinting." Geared into "the sequence of hormonally triggered events at birth," it must take place right away. The urge is immediate, and, Liedloff asserts, its satisfaction an essential prerequisite to the smooth succession of stimuli and responses that follow as mother and baby begin their life together. The infant seldom has any need to signal by crying, or do anything but suckle when the impulse arises. At night, mother sleeps beside him. The infant is taken everywhere, always in-arms, and is there in the midst of an active person's life. He enjoys occasional direct attention, but his main business is to absorb all the actions, interactions, and surroundings of his caretaker. This information prepares him to take his place among his people.

 

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The keystone upon which the tribal child's development depends is the assumption that he is innately social in his motives; his persona is respected as good. There is no concept of a "bad" child. This assumption is "at direct odds with the nearly universal civilized belief that a child's impulses need to be curbed in order to make him social." Furthermore, in these societies, respect is accorded each individual as his own proprietor. Liedloff found that no orders are given a child that run counter to his own inclinations as to how to play, what to eat, when to sleep etc.; but when his help is required he is expected to comply immediately. Social animal that he is, he does as he is expected without hesitation and to the best of his ability. Praise, virtually absent in these cultures, wreaks havoc in ours. "Oh what a good girl!" implies sociability is unexpected, uncharacteristic, and unusual--and a child does what he perceives is expected of him, rather than what he is told to do.

 

Read more ...

 

Interesting article. Very supportive of Yoda and Neimads approach to children discussed in What would you teach to the kids and which I initially argued with ... you know, since I have so much direct experience with raising kids.

 

Sean

[Wayfarer64]

Another happy society I have visited was on Bali-the famed Island paradise in Indonesia. Though much of the old social structure has broken down; the traditional child rearing was similar to what is discribed here. Children were not allowed to touch the ground until their 10th month, and many were kept off the ground until 12 months old. The children there were almost universally happy and gleeful and helpful as well.

 

Parts of Bali have become very heavily touristed and there are now some very rude Balinese indeed- but it is still the exception and the old manners prevail in many areas...but sadly are slipping away...

[cloud recluse]

Has anyone had a look at Joseph Chilton Pearce's MAGICAL CHILD MATURES,or his more recent THE BIOLOGY OF TRANSCENDANCE ?

 

Read these just recently,& although Im more than a bit wary of his starry eyed adulation of Muktananda,his ideas of how healthy child-rearing facilitates a natural unfolding of transpersonal awareness is fascinating stuff.His take on the neurobiology of spirituality has certainly caught me attention.His take on spirituality itself though seems a bit naive.

 

Regards,Cloud

[Yoda]

Cool link and great thread. I'll check into these books.

 

Imo, the best tool a parent has is their own happiness. I'd argue that the happier the parent, the more physically affectionate they will be with the kids but, regardless, the parent needs to look after their own happiness even if that means other parenting options.

 

There are awesome positive aspects to both types of cultures.