Compiling info on male sexual health/practices

[konchog uma]

Lately i was talking to an herbalist friend of mine, someone who has helped me and my g/f out immensely, and she and i got into the topic of how much misinfo there is about sex in general and how males really weren't widely educated about energy, loss of jing, and a plethora of other topics that men in general are ignorant of. I told her a little about my practice of retention and sublimation, and gave her some advice for a patient in his later years who wondered if once a week was a good ejaculation frequency to conserve life energy. (i said it was, but for the record the daoists advised once every two weeks at least, at his age once a month)

 

She said she didn't know enough about it and wished she did, and then asked me to give a seminar at her herb shop about mens sexual health, cultivation, and that sort of thing. I declined for a number of reasons that i dont think are relevant here. In short, i think i can do more good for her patients by providing her with a paper on the basics of men's sexual health, something that she can distribute as needed, not a one time talk by someone with no credentials (beyond a list of satisfied lovers lol).

 

So does anyone have any feedback or advice on what i should or shouldn't cover, and why? I am kind of in need of some advice since I don't really feel qualified to teach, in spite of my experience with the subject. Should I get into retention and energy cultivation? I want to! People should know about that stuff. But i think its important to address prostrate health and the importance of sublimation via the MCO and other techniques, if one is going to retain for a significant period of time. So this info is gonna be like one page long, maybe double sided if it has to be, but i am trying to keep it minimal so it can be handed out and read easily.

 

I want to definitely cover the life energy-semen connection, the importance of ejaculation frequency regulation, the benefits of making love without ejaculation, and mayyyybe some more esoteric topics. I also want to give a reading list, so if any of you have good additions to that, i would really appreciate it. Mine so far is

 

The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity

by Daniel Reid

 

Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

by Mantak Chia

 

The Tao of Love and Sex

by Jolan Chang

 

I know its a vague and open ended question, but to give more clarity, i am wondering what (for the broad range of men who might approach her with questions about mens sexual health) would be appropriate/important to address (and not to address). Just subject matter. I am thinking its best to keep it to a minimum (compared to the vast wealth of knowledge contained in the body of daoist mens sexual practices) but i also want to introduce the subject of retention and sublimation. Oh well i guess i'll just wait for some responses to see where this conversation goes.. thanks in advance for your help!

[Bubbles]

I also want to give a reading list, so if any of you have good additions to that, i would really appreciate it.

 

Hi anamatva,

 

Here are some books I would pick info into:

 

1. from the karezza method : Cupid Poisoned arrow by Marnia Robinson

 

2. The Tao of Sex by Howard S. Levy, Akira Ishihara and Richard Stodart

 

3. The art of bedchamber by Douglas Wile

 

4. Yin Yang Butterfly by Valentin Chu

 

but more than anything else, I would recommend practicing daily Metta Meditation as a fondation and anything that helps dealing with uprooting buried emotions and clearing the Heart.

 

My personal take (2 cents worth) is that sexual energetic methods mean nothing/lead nowhere profound if the emotional ground is not taken care of. Conversely, with a clear/open Heart, one can do without any method, they pop up spontaneously. Since males have more than often atrophic skills when it comes to dealing with their own feelings and those of their partner, I would include some books that invite opening the heart which requires a lot of work in itself and should include our whole relationship to the world/what is. For that part, you need no book recommendation, you seem to have all the info.

 

Enough bubbling for me.

Take care.

Edited July 25, 2012 by bubbles

[Bubbles]

Just a quick bubble to add an important book that popped up in my mind during the night.

 

- Sexual secrets by Nick Douglas an Penny Slinger.It is interesting because one can find both the Indian and Chinese views in it. I like a lot this book.

 

My teacher says this book was the original source of most of the western literature on the subject. So better having the original..

 

I don't know if it is a compliment but Michael Winn who was the real writer/ghostwriter of Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy book was a good friend of Douglas and Penny. Some informations must have circulated between them.

 

Bye!

[joeblast]

Any retention practice...imho, requires the restraint of lustful thoughts. Mind is the root. Think lustful thoughts and the body will respond by allocating energy there. Deep stillness in meditation is necessary to well integrate things, but if one cant control his mind then forget about it, it is asking for trouble doing retention if the mind is not taken care of.

[Seth Ananda]

make sure you mention that the million dollar point is actually dangerous, and that the whole Idea behind it is faulty, so there is no point doing it anyway...

 

Orgasm with ejaculation, or Orgasm with retained or retrograde ejaculation, is depleting. Ether way one looses ones fluids, straight out into ones partner, or into the bladder {retrograde} to be pissed out later. There is no way around this.

[Practitioner]

I don't quite understand semen retention techniques in general. They don't seem to make much sense. I can make love to a woman and hold in my seed for half an hour, I can exercise my will and focus and so forth and clench my muscles there. But what I've noticed is well, you cannot do it twice in the same day. The minute that you get stimulation again, the semen goes forth out from you really easy even if you're good at tightening your muscles down there. and I mean like, 5 hours later-ish. Bam, you're already leaking sperm and you are at best mildy stimulated and arent that close to an actual orgasm.

 

Your seed goes out from your testes and tries to enter the urethra. It's left its resting place, and obviously won't go back there. So it's kinda stuck in libido there. If it doesnt go back into your testes (which it will not) and it isn't expelled through the urethra, then where the heck will it go? I don't reckon that it will just disappear. It seem unhealthy to keep your "pipes" down there so to speak, clogged with fluid that wants to the area.

 

Sure you won't get nearly the amount of fatigue you get from releasing semen but then again, is it so wise to stop something down there that was going its own path anyway?

 

Celibacy somehow makes more sense than these retention techniques, at least to my understanding at the moment.

[Bubbles]

I don't quite understand semen retention techniques in general. They don't seem to make much sense. I can make love to a woman and hold in my seed for half an hour, I can exercise my will and focus and so forth and clench my muscles there. But what I've noticed is well, you cannot do it twice in the same day. The minute that you get stimulation again, the semen goes forth out from you really easy even if you're good at tightening your muscles down there. and I mean like, 5 hours later-ish. Bam, you're already leaking sperm and you are at best mildy stimulated and arent that close to an actual orgasm.

 

Your seed goes out from your testes and tries to enter the urethra. It's left its resting place, and obviously won't go back there. So it's kinda stuck in libido there. If it doesnt go back into your testes (which it will not) and it isn't expelled through the urethra, then where the heck will it go? I don't reckon that it will just disappear. It seem unhealthy to keep your "pipes" down there so to speak, clogged with fluid that wants to the area.

 

Sure you won't get nearly the amount of fatigue you get from releasing semen but then again, is it so wise to stop something down there that was going its own path anyway?

 

Celibacy somehow makes more sense than these retention techniques, at least to my understanding at the moment.

 

 

Hi Practitionner,

 

I am not very experienced in the technical aspect of the retention as we can find it explained in most books. My teacher advocates something very close to the karezza method: no orgasm in the common sense of it, so no ejaculation. This practice goes with the energetics he teaches. But the sexual act is also quite different than the heavy stuff that serves as sexual education for most of young males today... After one can be at ease with the no-orgasm practice, the body will find its way to another form of bliss because the energy is not stucked in the genital area, it is spread in the whole body and nourishes the joyful stillness of the mind.

My experience is that the urge to make love again in the days after vanishes as both my partner and me stay into the flavour of bliss and contentment for some significant amount of time. On the contrary, the times I actively tried retention, the energy was stucked in my genitals and I had a kind of aggressive urge to have sex

again ( there was no real love in it).

So I can see why celibacy makes more sense than retention in this regard.

Edited July 26, 2012 by bubbles

[konchog uma]

Any retention practice...imho, requires the restraint of lustful thoughts. Mind is the root. Think lustful thoughts and the body will respond by allocating energy there. Deep stillness in meditation is necessary to well integrate things, but if one cant control his mind then forget about it, it is asking for trouble doing retention if the mind is not taken care of.

 

yeah when i woke up today i thought to myself, i can't fit everything people need to know about retention onto one page.. i must be dreaming! lol

 

i can't council people on the development on their minds with a pamphlet or a handout.. i can't give meditation instructions and fit in all that other stuff. hehehe it seems a little silly.

 

so i think i will focus on basic info, and more on the idea of sacred masculinity and heart awareness, as someone suggested. I don't think i am going to get into retention other than to mention that it is a path of cultivation that one needs proper guidance to follow, and suggest reading the books on the list before looking for a teacher.

 

thanks joe

[konchog uma]

thank you everyone for your feedback, its great to hear all this stuff

 

@practitioner: i can do it twice a day. practice! lol

 

@seth: do you happen to know which book the million-dollar point is in? is it in taoist secrets of love: cultivating male sexual energy?... i think if it is i will just scratch that from the reading list

 

thanks!

[eye_of_the_storm]

I at present understanding agree with bubbles

 

I would like to add... rather then fighting / stopping lustful thoughts

 

One becomes acquainted with and at ease with this force and treats it as though it is... actually really is a tremendous treasure and power house.

 

Kind of like taming a wild and magnificent horse?

 

you can either walk your entire life... or become in harmony with this force and ride it through the sky/universe! haha

 

Edited July 26, 2012 by White Wolf Running On Air

[Disabled Not Broken]

The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know By Mantak Chia

http://www.amazon.com/The-Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets/dp/0062513362

 

...& Pictures- you are going to need pictures!

[balance.]

Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy / Nik Douglas & Penny Slinger

(http://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Secrets-Twentieth-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0892818050)

 

Qigong, The Secret of Youth: Da Mo's Muscle/Tendon Changing and Marrow/Brain Washing Classics / Dr. Yang Jwing-Ming

 

(http://www.amazon.com/Qigong-The-Secret-Youth-Changing/dp/1886969841)

 

 

The Dr. Yang isn't necessarily targeting sexuality, but there are relevant sections.

 

 

 

best.

 

 

 

balance.

Edited July 26, 2012 by balance.

[Birch]

I want a compilation for females please:-)

[konchog uma]

I want a compilation for females please:-)

 

i would love to know more about female practices. i have only read a couple books, sorry! i wish i were qualified, have to admit being a man i never looked deeply into female cultivation.

 

i think my herbalist friend has a firm grasp on female cultivation, cause thats one of the ways in which she has helped my girlfriend .. i think i am putting this together for her because she never really learned things from the male perspective.

[konchog uma]

What about making it a two-parter? One document/presentation for the foundational practices that focus on mind and body in a more general sense.

 

Then a second document/presentation for specific sexual/sensual practices.

 

What sayeth you, a?

 

i dunno right now. I am a little leery of introducing subject matter that might be dangerous if misunderstood. I think for most men who just want to get a handle on why they are fatigued or maybe become better lovers, the emphasis should be on foundational info, but i don't feel comfortable outlining much by way of practices. I am not a teacher, and i know better than to try to be one.

 

I haven't even read half the books that are now on my list, i just happen to have a fair amount of experience in the real world, and success in retaining and sublimating energy.

 

So i think the best and most genuine thing i can do for my friend's patients is to keep it very basic. I think i will mention the techniques that they are bound to find if they read those books in a cautionary way, so i have changed my position since posting the OP. I think it would be great if everyone knew about retention and cultivation, but i don't feel qualified to pass out info that might be to someone's detriment. I feel a sense of responsibility for what i am going to say in this page (or two) so i am going to stick with what i know. maybe in a couple weeks when the text of the page is ironed out, i will post it on this thread for you all to critique! hahaha that should be fun

 

thanks for your suggestion, i think its a good one, and if the info i want to present takes more than one page, i could do two. But i am not going to try to instruct a bunch of strangers that i am not going to meet in sexual practices or retention thats what books are for! lol I think at most i might outline metta meditation for opening the heart, and mention in some detail muscular and mental control, ejaculation frequency, and maybe some other more basic points, but direct them to books for the details.

[konchog uma]

I hear you. Have you considered 'studying' more so that you might be able to teach one day? Your insights on this topic have been enjoyable to read.

 

im honored to hear that, and i love "studying" in quotes lol

 

i have always left the course of my life largely up to what the world provides me, in other words, if my "personal power" or "karmic magnetism" were to attract in my life a teacher of that sort, i would happily study and perhaps teach one day. But i am not actively looking for such an opportunity now.

 

i was born with neptune in the 10th house (of career) and have always been advised to be an artist. You can see a small portfolio if you go to the link on my page here on TTB

 

however i also happen to be born with venus in libra in the 7th house (of partnership) so finding a partner to 'study dao' with has always just fallen into my lap.

 

not that i am limiting myself to what my natal chart forecasts for my life... that is not good astrology, but as a rough guideline, i think it works

 

oh well there i go derailing my own thread for astrology's sake.. blah blabahlabhalla