skydog Posted August 27, 2012 If my heart says one thing and my logic says another thing eg...you need money, you need security, you need to make your parents/dad happy and not worried... Well this topic is irritating me because im really confused as to what I should be doing with my life. I really dont want to work in an overly structured routine way where I have to work 40 hours a week. I would like some free time to travel and be free I would like to explore Im pretty sure I would like to live somewhere hot and around nature where people are friendly yet similar to me in some ways such as a certain place in mexico Im sure I have talents/qualities to share if not they can be developed with some time. But at the same time things I would prefer to be doing are a lot less secure than others and if those dont work out it means Ive got to have a bummy job. At the moment I am doing a couple of courses to improve my grades so I can go to university one which is paid for by the government. Which will most likely be nursing. But the thought of spending 3 years in university kind of depresses me, the thought of spending another year in England living at home also depresses me, the thought of having to work for a couple of years as a nurse so I can learn Medical Qigong is vaguely depressing and strikes me as troublesome. The thought of going to mexico and seeing what happens thrills me, the thought of then working living maybe doing medical qigong also thrills me. Maybe starting some kinds of business also do. But the thought of having something to fall back on, which is not really what I want to do also seems good to me Also I hate the idea of my dad constantly critisizing me for being "stupid" and shouting at me.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted August 27, 2012 old practical me thinks-eat bitter, get the nursing degree, it will help insure security for the rest of your life, then hit the road. Keep your eyes open for opportunities, a nursing/medical degree should open up more doors for you then you'd otherwise have. and screw your dad, you seem like a pretty smart cookie to me. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boy Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) ... Edited October 11, 2012 by Boy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 27, 2012 A traveler man meat a man at the towns outskirts and asked: 'How are the people of this town'? The town's man responded "How where the people from the town you come from"? Whatever the traveler story, the town's man always said "the people from this town are just like that"... Also remember that many 'needs' are actually 'wants' ... and that if you are depressed or happy ... well anywhere you are you will be like that... when your dad tells you something ask him to tell you what he values and would like to cultivate in you... tell him that whatever words he tell you that's what he values and cultivates in you and in him... words and stories good or bad produce realities ... The book "Switch... how to change when change is hard..." talks about focusing and cultivating what you want... when you have clarity of what you want to do you just do it... oh and most of what I am telling you is a bit of what I need to do myself... that in part is why I am drawn to tell it... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seth Ananda Posted August 28, 2012 Hey Sinansensor! If you want to be near nature, and near people who are like you, write out a list of what theses people and places do, and need and see if any are attractive to you. Say your list was something like: Spiritual retreats & Meditators. Then there are probably dozens of places like these that need dedicated gardners, builders, landscapers, book keepers, plumbers, electricians... If you have these skills many places will welcome you with open arms, and you can do some weekly work for them, and stay there while learning whatever other stuff you want... i know a few builders here in Aus for instance that have been community hopping for the last few decades, and really enjoying Life. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Observer Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) If you want free time and don't wanna work for 40 hours a week, work your ass off in school get good grades and make a name for yourself; you're not the only one that wants these things and you have to earn them. Like Lerner said get the medical degree and the right doors will open up. Being that the medical field is as lucrative as it is, you can fund any other dreams you have later with the money you'll be making from the medical stuff. Matter of fact, that's what I'm doing now (College--->Med. type degree--->Occupational Therapist---> Acupuncture and Herbology College---->My dream career). I'm sorry if came off mean, but I went through the same worries you did and I realized I had to spark the fire within me to drive forward. Keep your head up! Too add also..the heart/logic is a false duality. The logic is to make your heart happy by following your path. Edited August 28, 2012 by The Observer 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 28, 2012 you're not the only one that wants these things and you have to earn them. Too add also..the heart/logic is a false duality. The logic is to make your heart happy by following your path. (Strange... the text on the second line just popped up... so I will leave it there thought it was not in the original post) Do you have to earn the appreciation, respect and love of somebody? NA appreciation, respect and love everybody if they return it back great if not well at least you cultivated appreciation, respect and love for everybody... do the things to do the things for their own value (of doing it) not what you expect to get from them latter on... if like writing these words ... I do it because I choose to... if you or others find them helpful even better ... if not well thats their business :-) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Observer Posted August 28, 2012 (Strange... the text on the second line just popped up... so I will leave it there thought it was not in the original post) Do you have to earn the appreciation, respect and love of somebody? I meant you have to earn an easy going work schedule and frequent vacations. I'm not sure where your going with the rest of the post...clarify please. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 28, 2012 I meant you have to earn an easy going work schedule and frequent vacations. I'm not sure where your going with the rest of the post...clarify please. Observer, I sort of have this pet-peeve towards the notion that a sacrifice is required to appreciate love or that one can atone and demand forgiveness and love . In a way when you stated "you're not the only one that wants these things and you have to earn them" sort of caused me to jumped at the notion. Do we have to earn the stuff? Maybe we just need to be clear on what we want and find the better ways to get it. I am grateful for the gifts I have, I know they mostly come thanks to others. I do my best to share what I have and enrich others... I realized that many a time it isn't that someone has earned those privileges its that they gotten them. Its like a healthy body... some people work hard at keeping it health and some people play hard and keep it healthy... hope this clarifies what I said... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Observer Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) I sort of have this pet-peeve towards the notion that a sacrifice is required to appreciate love or that one can atone and demand forgiveness and love . (...) Do we have to earn the stuff? Maybe we just need to be clear on what we want and find the better ways to get it.(...) As far as love and forgiveness go, I extend it as much as I can (such that I am not hurting myself or being stupid) to everyone I meet; however, I don't expect to just get it from people. I let my actions determine that. If my actions are guided by virtue and a good heart and nothing was given in return then I have nothing to be guilty about, I did my best. The same goes for other things. There is a time to be easy going and a time for work. If I sit on my butt all day that's not going to put food on my plate. Edited August 28, 2012 by The Observer Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 28, 2012 As far as love and forgiveness go, I extend it as much as I can (such that I am not hurting myself or being stupid) to everyone I meet; however, I don't expect to just get it from people. I let my actions determine that. If my actions are guided by virtue and a good heart and nothing was given in return then I have nothing to be guilty about, I did my best. The same goes for other things. There is a time to be easy going and a time for work. If I sit on my butt all day that's not going to put food on my plate. One can work one's butt all day long and get nothing in return... its rather frustrating to spend so much time and energy doing stuff and have nothing to show especially when one sees how other can direct others to work all day long and get lots in return... while they sit on their butt all day long... its a fact that some can direct others work all day long and get lots in return... sometimes even more than the ones doing the work... have they earned what they get or just found a way to get it... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Observer Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) One can work one's butt all day long and get nothing in return... its rather frustrating to spend so much time and energy doing stuff and have nothing to show If one works to his fullest ability and receives nothing in return then he his getting played. He may need to find a different work/study venue. However, the norm is that effort is rewarded. ...especially when one sees how other can direct others to work all day long and get lots in return... while they sit on their butt all day long... its a fact that some can direct others work all day long and get lots in return... sometimes even more than the ones doing the work... have they earned what they get or just found a way to get it... Sometimes, the ones leading are only there because of luck or some kind of privilege. In that case I would go work/study somewhere else if possible. Usually (or rather ideally) the ones leading are getting lots in return because they are doing more mentally intense kind of work rather than physical labor (mental work=more expensive than physical labor, which means higher salary for boss guy). Edited August 28, 2012 by The Observer Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 28, 2012 If one works to his fullest ability and receives nothing in return then he his getting played. He may need to find a different work/study venue. However, the norm is that effort is rewarded. Sometimes, the ones leading are only there because of luck or some kind of privilege. In that case I would go work/study somewhere else if possible. Usually (or rather ideally) the ones leading are getting lots in return because they are doing more mentally intense kind of work rather than physical labor (mental work=more expensive than physical labor, which means higher salary for boss guy). The difficulty with mental work resides in appreciating and valuing it... and like acting, sports and the markets... its a lot about the plays made on the stage and off the stage. Whatever the venue some manage to get more and some manage to get less... as I mentioned remember that if you are (a certain way) ... well anywhere you are you will be like that.. In other words sometimes individuals need to change their ways and become better... what may be effortless for me to do may be almost impossible for others to accomplish or may require a great effort on their part... though seeing how effortless it is for me they may not feel like rewarding me... though they may feel like rewarding someone else less qualified... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Observer Posted August 28, 2012 Ok, ET I think we are getting off topic, let's stay on the subject. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 28, 2012 Ok, ET I think we are getting off topic, let's stay on the subject. The subject being? --- Do we have to earn something to have it contrasted to just find the proper way to have something... --- individuals need to change their ways towards attaining the desired results... (underlying there is the notion of clarifying what one desires, and doing stuff both for doing it and for what it enables us to do) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eye_of_the_storm Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) Why not go straight into TCM? Is there a course close to home? Regarding father... sometimes it is best to walk away.... sometimes its best to stand ones ground. “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee How many times does a man have to walk away though before enough is enough? “Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life! Do not be concerned with escaping safely- lay your life before him!!” ― Bruce Lee “If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” ― Bruce Lee Within reason When people understand you won't be so passive anymore to their aggressive behaviour they generally back down and you are able to live your life in peace again. Edited August 29, 2012 by White Wolf Running On Air Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jetsun Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) The reality is that there is no security, everything you cherish or plan for could be gone at any moment, so in light of that the only refuge is to sink to your heart and try to follow it, otherwise you could spend your life living somebody else's life or living your life out of a place of fear, neither of which leads to growth or happiness. Edited August 29, 2012 by Jetsun 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 29, 2012 The reality is that there is no security, everything you cherish or plan for could be gone at any moment, so in light of that the only refuge is to sink to your heart and try to follow it, otherwise you could spend your life living somebody else's life or living your life out of a place of fear, neither of which leads to growth or happiness. Actually security does exists and comes from knowing understanding and having faith that it will all be for the better... indeed "everything you cherish or plan for could be gone at any moment" and that would certainly be a huge test... still knowing understanding and having faith that it will all be for the better... provides the peace of mind required to follow the way... a sort of detachment that allows complete peace, faith, understanding .... a security that in the end of ends and the beginning of beginnings it will all be for the better... as one moves from sock and denial to acceptance and hope*... into growth and happiness... *BTW the 7 steps of grief 1. SHOCK & DENIAL- 2. PAIN & GUILT- 3. ANGER & BARGAINING- 4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS- 5. THE UPWARD TURN- 6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH- 7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE- 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydog Posted August 29, 2012 ok thanks for the perspectives Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Birch Posted August 29, 2012 https://www.summaries.com/index/Talent%20is%20Overrated.pdf 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unseen_Abilities Posted August 30, 2012 Hey, sinancencer, I'm in a somewhat similar situation to you at the moment, in that I've been unsure lately about which direction I'd truly like to take with my life. I was actually enrolled in University up until very recently, but decided to quit because, well, I simply wasn't enjoying it...For the time being, I'm going to focus my energy on my music, spiritual cultivation, and just get some part time work on the side to help me along. I (obviously) don't know all the details of your situation, but I just thought I'd say that, in my opinion anyway, if you follow your heart, you may not be as "secure" as many other people (it's possible that your dad is pushing the security thing because deep down he cares for you and wants to see you do well for yourself) but you'll probably end up much happier in the long run. But that's coming from someone in his early 20's who doesn't have that much life experience under his belt, so take it as you please. I sincerely wish you happiness and peace in whatever you decide to do Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaron Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) If my heart says one thing and my logic says another thing eg...you need money, you need security, you need to make your parents/dad happy and not worried... Well this topic is irritating me because im really confused as to what I should be doing with my life. I really dont want to work in an overly structured routine way where I have to work 40 hours a week. I would like some free time to travel and be free I would like to explore Im pretty sure I would like to live somewhere hot and around nature where people are friendly yet similar to me in some ways such as a certain place in mexico Im sure I have talents/qualities to share if not they can be developed with some time. But at the same time things I would prefer to be doing are a lot less secure than others and if those dont work out it means Ive got to have a bummy job. At the moment I am doing a couple of courses to improve my grades so I can go to university one which is paid for by the government. Which will most likely be nursing. But the thought of spending 3 years in university kind of depresses me, the thought of spending another year in England living at home also depresses me, the thought of having to work for a couple of years as a nurse so I can learn Medical Qigong is vaguely depressing and strikes me as troublesome. The thought of going to mexico and seeing what happens thrills me, the thought of then working living maybe doing medical qigong also thrills me. Maybe starting some kinds of business also do. But the thought of having something to fall back on, which is not really what I want to do also seems good to me Also I hate the idea of my dad constantly critisizing me for being "stupid" and shouting at me.. Oh to be young again. I envy you in some ways, because you have the rest of your life to make mistakes and regrets. My father never called me stupid, but he often asked if I was an idiot when I did something he thought was dumb. I think you're still a bit too young to be so caught up in the future. You want to be a qigong healer, well that's a start, but where do you go from there? Do you have to become a nurse to become a qigong healer, from what I understand the vast majority have little to no medical health background whatsoever, so if you really don't want to go to university for a nursing career, don't. I personally would advocate doing what you want to do, but understand there are consequences involved. In the end a wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age. I regret very little about my youth, because I enjoyed it. There are things I wish I had done, but hell, what's life without a lesson or two along the way. Aaron edit- I enjoyed university (college over here in the states) more than any other time in my life. I took classes I knew I'd like every semester to even out the ones that bored the hell out of me. Of course I didn't start until I was twenty-two and I did so because i wanted to, which can really make all the difference. If it helps, I started out taking psychology, but switched to English later on, so in that regard I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do either. Edited August 31, 2012 by Aaron Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
et-thoughts Posted August 31, 2012 you have the rest of your life to make... Hey today is the end of the life we have lived and for some the beginning of the rest of their life... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted August 31, 2012 Just found Runesoup.com. Here is hip answer to the question: What I Would Say To Your Slightly Older Kids Read more: http://runesoup.com/2011/08/what-i-would-say-to-your-slightly-older-kids/#ixzz258qR8dR6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
