I want bliss really badly. What is the quickest path to my goal?

[宁]

you have a problem with pharmacies, i have a problem with gurus that sell kundalini online. especially confused types end up in deeper shit than they started to begin with. at least you're safe to take an aspirin for a headache.

 

btw, therapy doesn't necessarely mean western type. but if you brought pills into discussion here you go then.

the therapy i had in mind is a strong physical detox. he has to purge out all the crack that lingers on in his system. then build up with good nutrition and physical exercise, may try TJQ just for kicks.

and am sure there are plenty of naturist clinics everywhere in the world to choose from.

if the body is shit, don't expect miracles, regardless what online gurus may get you to buy into.

[dc9]

don't give up! listen, sometimes life just leads you around some bends in the road that don't seem to go where you want to go, maybe they take you to some side road for a while, and you seem to be going in a completely different direction altogether, but this is also for the lessons that you can take out of it. It may not seem to you like it right now, but the direction you wanted to go, will manifest itself in one way or another for you, and you will find that out.

I'm not that much older than you, I'm only 31, and while I knew the Source of everything when I was little, it was all lost to me for years, and I have been scared and angry and frustrated, I have been so scared and confused it chilled me so deep down, but I figured it all out, and I also figured out that no psychologist could help me with this, all these things only started to come together and shape into something new when I was maybe 25-26, and now everything is, I am so different that I can hardly believe it myself. Don't get me wrong, if you need help, get help (!) and no, sometimes things are still difficult for me too... so there...now you know way more of me than maybe you should but if it helps you in any way, it doesn't matter

good luck to you, dc9, the world can be a crazy place, if you're sure of something in your heart, don't let anybody tell you it's nothing but do take well meant and sensible advice when you get some )

 

∞Nelida

 

 

 

um...you're so sisterly/motherly and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside...

 

Well. things aren't looking that great from my perspective, i'm feeling lots of negative emotions and a lot of hopelessness about whether my life will actually improve. But i'll try my best to push through it, and think of my reward at the end...

 

i think my plan is to get my discipline and attention and awareness at a higher level, and then after that i'll move on to feeling my energy..

 

thanks again to everyone who helped me

Edited September 9, 2012 by dc9

[Nelida]

lol, I have a problem with online gurus that sell kundalini too! I ran ahead and did assume a western type therapist, I apologize, and am happy that you specified, for dc too!

 

dc9 pay attention, cosmic hug is on the way to you, sometimes everybody needs a little fuzzy feeling, right, or maybe I'm just feeling sisterly today

the nasty part is though, that the real hard work is something only you yourself can do, but I promise you, things will get better. Don't beat yourself up about too many things, doesn't help

 

 

∞Nelida

[konchog uma]

It's funny but why not? Dude doesn't have to pretend to be a 'serious seeker' ZOMG to merit TTB's good advice, now does he:-)?

 

clearly not

[et-thoughts]

remember that you share a responsibility for any advice you give to an individual in his condition. are you really trained to deal with this kind of condition?

 

If an individual takes the advice or does not take the advice it is their responsibility ... remember that you are in part responsible if you do not act and give the advice you are suppose to give to an individual... but ultimately it is the individuals responsibility what they choose to do... the way things are going in the world its blurry when one is supposed to stop and help and when one should just walk by...

[et-thoughts]

i've already had therapy and drugs. therapy is expensive, and i don't like taking drugs everyday just to function. It's not like i have severe mental problems, so when I go to therapy it's just about working through some irrational thoughts that i've developed towards life and turning my mentality more towards the positive. At the end i told her I felt I could do this on my own and the sessions aren't justifying $75 for an hour when i'm making $13/hour at my own job.

 

so here i am, looking for a way to fix myself. i think i'm close to giving up on kundalini and harnessing my sexual energy.. sad to say. but I don't see myself getting there any time soon, so i'm losing motivation.. i guess i'll just finish reading this book about cultivating my awareness and see where that leads me.

 

I read a book entitled "

Addictive Thinking: Understanding Self-Deception " http://www.amazon.com/Addictive-Thinking-Abraham-Twerski-M-D/dp/1568381387/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347221671&sr=8-1&keywords=addictive+thinking

 

 

' I felt I could do this on my own' can be a self-deception schema that keeps one from realizing and asking for the help one needs... BTW for the irrational the irrational thoughts seem normal and the normal thoughts seem irrational... the book talks about substance addictions... though to me substances can be feelings, thoughts, moods, states, behaviors... when I read the book I saw how some individuals are addicted to certain thought patterns... oh be careful with 'the stinking thinking'... (I drink because she gets mad... why does she get mad? Oh she gets mad because I drink) remember that you ultimately decide what to do... and you do that by doing it...

[konchog uma]

dc9

 

first, please drop all expectations about bliss. just forget them.

second, begin to meditate, shamatha/vipassana, anapanasati, zuowang, zazen, just pick one and start doing it every day for a comfortable amount of time. if you research those and find them not to your liking, at least try mantra meditation. look up so'ham, or if ten bucks isnt too much to ask, download the mark griffin mp3 called prana - so'ham - four bodies

then, third, while the meditation is changing your mind into something more conducive to bliss, save your money and go see mark griffin when you can for shaktipat. Since you live in the bay area, he's only a couple hours away. He is amazingly powerful, not some snake-oil salesman in robes but a shaktipat guru from a proven lineage. You'll probably have to experience meditating in his presence to believe it. I have streamed meetings and a shaktipat intensive online with him, and it is a blast of energy, as he calls it, a thunderbolt of awakening.

then, since meditation has prepared you by giving you patience and discipline, you will need it to do the work that kundalini demands as it tears through your energy body and mind cleansing out what doesn't serve you and twisting you around until you actually develop the qualities to handle her. For someone like you its no picnic. I can't say this clearly enough, for what you want, there is no easy way, there is no pill, there is no smooth path to get from where you are right now into bliss states of kundalini ecstasy.

 

You are chasing a dream IMO a fantasy that is held only by two kinds of people, those who read an article about kundalini and believe it before ever experiencing her - and siddhas who have dedicated themselves to their spiritual cultivation for years, with all the patience and diligence that they could possibly muster

 

again good luck to you

[Birch]

what good advice? did he take any? reading books? come on, K... what he needs is professional advice. lingering on esoteric forums and trying funny things is the total opposite of help.

 

You've been giving some quite good advice. From past experience TTB's does often seem to come up with good advice. Not limited to the 'see a doc, take a pill' variety. Although that's been suggested to folks that have seemed really out of it in the past. The 'esoteric' stuff that it seems lots of people try to use as (one of several) solutions to their problems does have both a 'real' foundation (the messing around with Jing is an attempt to regulate hormones and neurotransmitters) and the mindfulness stuff is a way of building a safe 'buffer' between experience and self (weight-lifting for that reflective part of ourselves that allows thoughtful action rather than emotional reaction).

 

However, if this stuff was taught in med school, it wouldn't be 'esoteric' at all and more people would be getting it right off the bat than having to flail around finding information and getting taught 'secrets' and finding out through getting it wrong, how not to hurt themselves. Stuff like that.

 

---opinion alert---

[宁]

well the cosmic hugg is surely some good medicine, there's nothing like the feeling that no one cares for you to get you started on the wrong path.

 

yeah K, there's a lot of advice pouring in from everywhere, i still put my money on DETOX though.

the body is the surest place to start from, the best to start clearing your life from. energy is overrated, until you clear yourself up it will make little difference, best case scen.

 

[dc9]

i did skim through this yoga book that someone in this thread also linked me that emphasized the importance of a healthy body. I was thinking of yoga classes as well, but i don't know which ones to take. Is there a specific type of class that I should be looking for if my goal isn't merely physical fitness, but something deeper than that? I'm getting a sense that a lot of yoga classes are just being taught to stretch you out and not for the purpose of a deeper spiritual enlightenment. but that's just a random guess, i have no clue how yoga classes actually are as i've never been to one and I am quite socially withdrawn so i just don't have a clue.

 

i wish i knew where to go to meet up with people like all you guys in this thread. right now, everyone i know is very materialistic and only care about the superficial parts of life.. working, family, kids, dating, partying... which is all well and good, but they're not really interested in meditation or harnessing inner energy or any of that stuff.

 

anyway... thats kind of random i know.. maybe ill try meetup groups, whatever. Either way, you guys rock.. much appreciated. i'm starting small with the meditation, and there's a lot of things distracting me but that's ok..

[Cat Pillar]

Hey dc9...here's something to think about that may help you relax a little.

 

You are not who you think you are. And I mean that literally. You are not your thoughts about who you are.

 

All of those labels you put on yourself, materialistic, undisciplined, unfocused...those are all thoughts you've had ABOUT yourself...but can you find materialistic, undisciplined, unfocused, outside of thought?

 

To put it another way...don't immediately believe everything you think. Use some of that scepticism towards your own thought processes. Drop your assumptions about who you are and try to pay attention to what's actually there - not your thoughts ABOUT what's actually there.

 

Just a suggestion.

[et-thoughts]

Hey dc9...here's something to think about that may help you relax a little.

 

You are not who you think you are. And I mean that literally. You are not your thoughts about who you are.

 

All of those labels you put on yourself, materialistic, undisciplined, unfocused...those are all thoughts you've had ABOUT yourself...but can you find materialistic, undisciplined, unfocused, outside of thought?

 

To put it another way...don't immediately believe everything you think. Use some of that scepticism towards your own thought processes. Drop your assumptions about who you are and try to pay attention to what's actually there - not your thoughts ABOUT what's actually there.

 

Just a suggestion.

 

I had a professor who said "argue about your limitation and they become your limitations"!

What you said could be re-expressed as the map is not the territory... -don't immediately believe everything in the map. Use some of that skepticism towards the maps of thoughts and processes. - focusing on the map can keep one from paying attention to what's actually there - use the map the territory and the distinctions to explore what's actually there... and to build stuff out there... just like the architect creates a set of plans and then constructs a house based on those plans one can do it in many domains of life... to build the place you inhabit... be it your body, your mind, your spirit, your feelings, your stories... wonder and ponder about stuff rather than claim 'I haven't a clue' ... "argue about your limitation and they become your limitations"!

[eye_of_the_storm]

Water fast for 7 days

 

maybe longer

 

+ get some sun

+ go for a long run until you can't feel your legs

 

Yes I agree with this

 

and as 宁 also said.... detoxify

 

Purify the Temple!

 

Make the ground sacred

 

build from there

 

Edited September 11, 2012 by White Wolf Running On Air

[dc9]

hi again. I'd like everyone to know how my past couple days went. I spent my entire day in front of the computer aimlessly browsing the internet. I would almost obsessively switch between 4 sites/forums, for HOURS, and I would throw in a couple naps and playing with my cats in between my sessions. pure sick indulgence. I have my ebook that's telling me about attention training minimized, and would read about 2 pages every hour, then go back to surfing internet or video games or sleeping or my cats. That's how i spend my free time.

 

please help me. i'm starting to realize i'm actually impulsive and addicted to this lifestyle even though it's making me so miserable.

 

please just recommend me something extreme and i will seriously consider it. Simply suggesting that i meditate isn't enough, because i'll just meditate for 20 minutes then go back to my normal routine of doing nothing.

 

water fasting. that doesn't sound productive. How will this help me?

[Fū Yue]

hi again. I'd like everyone to know how my past couple days went. I spent my entire day in front of the computer aimlessly browsing the internet. I would almost obsessively switch between 4 sites/forums, for HOURS, and I would throw in a couple naps and playing with my cats in between my sessions. pure sick indulgence. I have my ebook that's telling me about attention training minimized, and would read about 2 pages every hour, then go back to surfing internet or video games or sleeping or my cats. That's how i spend my free time.

 

please help me. i'm starting to realize i'm actually impulsive and addicted to this lifestyle even though it's making me so miserable.

 

please just recommend me something extreme and i will seriously consider it. Simply suggesting that i meditate isn't enough, because i'll just meditate for 20 minutes then go back to my normal routine of doing nothing.

 

water fasting. that doesn't sound productive. How will this help me?

 

 

Make a new schedule, and then stick to it against all resistance until it becomes 'routine'. For instance - going to sleep early, and waking up early, then going on a walk, then exercise, then meditation, then a bit of free time, then practice, then whatever creative pursuit you want to do (you should pick up a hobby) then meditation, then sleep. With meals at their regular times or whatever you like. Just draw out a more productive day and then stick to it regularly, i. e. every day afterward.

[et-thoughts]

hi again. I'd like everyone to know how my past couple days went. I spent my entire day in front of the computer aimlessly browsing the internet. I would almost obsessively switch between 4 sites/forums, for HOURS, and I would throw in a couple naps and playing with my cats in between my sessions. pure sick indulgence. I have my ebook that's telling me about attention training minimized, and would read about 2 pages every hour, then go back to surfing internet or video games or sleeping or my cats. That's how i spend my free time.

 

please help me. i'm starting to realize i'm actually impulsive and addicted to this lifestyle even though it's making me so miserable.

 

please just recommend me something extreme and i will seriously consider it. Simply suggesting that i meditate isn't enough, because i'll just meditate for 20 minutes then go back to my normal routine of doing nothing.

 

water fasting. that doesn't sound productive. How will this help me?

 

Well the evident solution is to destroy the computer you use! What you need to do is change what you do... can be as simple as observing what triggers you to do something compulsive and use it to do something productive... and now that you mention it... will do a fast from this place after I close down on several conversations

[Aetherous]

I have my ebook that's telling me about attention training minimized, and would read about 2 pages every hour, then go back to surfing internet or video games or sleeping or my cats.

 

You don't have to read the book all the way through...it's huge. Simply read the part about attention training. Then the key is to do it, not simply read about it.

 

So for example, take a piece of fruit. Spend a good 15 minutes (time yourself) paying attention to everything about it with all of your senses. If you're having thoughts and feelings, simply bring your attention back to the different qualities of that one piece of fruit. Notice everything that you can about it in a very slow way.

 

Do that multiple times throughout the day. If you actually DO it, you will notice your state of mind opening up in a very profound way.

 

Or you can find something else...best of luck with whatever you end up doing or not doing.

 

For your information, you can probably still return the kindle book if it wasn't for you.

 

Simply suggesting that i meditate isn't enough, because i'll just meditate for 20 minutes then go back to my normal routine of doing nothing.

 

That's fine. If your mind and heart will expand from the 20 minutes of practice, then your life routine will change into something better naturally. To help the process along, find things that you like to do, and go do them. Don't blame your routine of doing nothing on a practice that you haven't even really done. Leave the computer for a while.

Edited September 12, 2012 by turtle shell

[idiot_stimpy]

 

 

thanks... for the record, im very serious, not joking at all, my life is just a trainwreck and i want to get better. i live a life of constant regret and anxiety and loneliness and depression.. this thread has been quite helpful, along with all the suggestions for books that you guys have given me. so really, thanks everyone.

 

Then let the goal of your practice be to alleviate you from all suffering in life.

[Birch]

hi again. I'd like everyone to know how my past couple days went. I spent my entire day in front of the computer aimlessly browsing the internet. I would almost obsessively switch between 4 sites/forums, for HOURS, and I would throw in a couple naps and playing with my cats in between my sessions. pure sick indulgence. I have my ebook that's telling me about attention training minimized, and would read about 2 pages every hour, then go back to surfing internet or video games or sleeping or my cats. That's how i spend my free time.

 

please help me. i'm starting to realize i'm actually impulsive and addicted to this lifestyle even though it's making me so miserable.

 

please just recommend me something extreme and i will seriously consider it. Simply suggesting that i meditate isn't enough, because i'll just meditate for 20 minutes then go back to my normal routine of doing nothing.

 

water fasting. that doesn't sound productive. How will this help me?

 

http://www.amazon.com/Rude-Awakening-Perils-Pitfalls-Spiritual/dp/1846946093/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347416243&sr=1-4&keywords=rude+awakening

 

I'm finding this interesting. Also interesting is I can pretty much find at least one reason to be miserable every single day at the moment.

 

What the other guy said.

 

And what this guy said.

 

"keep going"

 

[dc9]

Well the evident solution is to destroy the computer you use! What you need to do is change what you do... can be as simple as observing what triggers you to do something compulsive and use it to do something productive... and now that you mention it... will do a fast from this place after I close down on several conversations

 

won't destroy my computer... but an "internet fast" sounds like a good idea... it'll also sound like one of the hardest things i've ever done.

 

turtle shell: i just got to the attention training part, actually. I will do the exercises. The concept of novelty reasonated with me when I read that part. It reminded me of when i'm on psychedelics and I would look at the world through the eyes of a child. So I already have experiences doing that, I just need to tap into it so i can do it while sober.. I doubt i can return the book, but it's only $10 and anyway, I kind of like it so far, i think i can genuinely say I learned a couple things that i didn't know before.

 

okay... okay, i will limit myself to an hour of internet starting today... well, i've already had like 9 hours today, so i'll cut it off once i make this post..

[et-thoughts]

won't destroy my computer... but an "internet fast" sounds like a good idea... it'll also sound like one of the hardest things i've ever done.

 

turtle shell: i just got to the attention training part, actually. I will do the exercises. The concept of novelty reasonated with me when I read that part. It reminded me of when i'm on psychedelics and I would look at the world through the eyes of a child. So I already have experiences doing that, I just need to tap into it so i can do it while sober.. I doubt i can return the book, but it's only $10 and anyway, I kind of like it so far, i think i can genuinely say I learned a couple things that i didn't know before.

 

okay... okay, i will limit myself to an hour of internet starting today... well, i've already had like 9 hours today, so i'll cut it off once i make this post..

 

My point was that you may need to change the physical environment to active what you want... its not about brute will power... thought that certainly does help... its about wisely using it... to open a safe door requires little force when one knows the combination ( has the key) and knows how to use it... your will power may be depleted when hearing the songs of the sirens ... so prepare yourself.... tie yourself up... tell your crew that no matter what: they should not untie you and should at all times have their ears plugged ... while keeping course through the passage... that way you will hear the wonderful songs without jumping into the sea...

[Cookie Monster]

.

Edited May 5, 2021 by Ocean Form

[GrandmasterP]

Trees are useful. Find a leaf. Bring it indoors and really look at it. For a very long time.

Job done

[eye_of_the_storm]

water fasting. that doesn't sound productive. How will this help me?

 

The article below is pretty informative.

 

http://bragg.com/books/mof_excerpt.html

 

From my own experience a natural ease... a tremendous clarity + sensory perception is also increased

 

my body and mind feel light - my vision improves

 

I feel pure inside.

 

I sleep a lot less + dreams become very vivid and frequent.

 

3 days has been my longest water fast // just started one today... aiming for 7 days.

 

To purify mind and body, deepen meditation + will.

 

If you feel drawn to this perhaps further research...+ youtube - many people have uploaded their experiences

 

It takes a decent about of self control self... but well worth the effort I believe.

[thelerner]

A man once told a Buddha,

"I want happiness."

 

The Buddha replied,

First remove 'I', that's ego.

Then remove 'want', that's desire.

 

And now all you're left with

is Happiness.

Edited September 17, 2012 by thelerner