Is friendship a trap?

[Aaron]

I like this post just to connect my own thoughts on this....

 

We have all these ideas, social conditionings that we need to have friends, we need to be doing things with friends all the time, a friend is this but not that, these are merely ideas just like the idea we have to be doing something instead of eating, sleeping, walking...all addiction to stimulation and the external other animals dont have this idea of friendship and in many ways desire for friendship/adoration/to be valued are pretty egoic, not to say that everyone isnt your friend, or that friends are bad or that it isnt great to seek like minded company and connect but rather than it is not neccessary if one doesnt feel like it merely social conditioning,

 

Great points. I can see you spent some time reading my OP, thank for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

 

Aaron

[Marblehead]

But then, it is nice to have true friends as they are the ones who allow us to cry now and again.

[doc benway]

I've been listening to some talks by a great speaker named John O'Donohue.

Here's a quote I stumbled upon about friendship:

“Real friendship or love is not manufactured or achieved by an act of will or intention. Friendship is always an act of recognition.”

An act of recognition - I love that!

 

My good friend Jeremy is like that for me. At first our friendship was awkward and tentative. Little by little, we've come to really know each other and recognize ourselves in each other. There are all the qualities we like to think about and talk about in a friend - supportive, dependable, there when I need him, someone to hang out with, train with, share happiness and pain with, and all

of that. But what he has really become to me that is extremely valuable and unique is a mirror that reflects back something about myself that I may sometimes overlook or deny, and I to him... And I think that quality of our relationship challenges each of us to know ourself better and therefore to grow further into our potential than we might otherwise have done.

That dynamic may also be there to some degree with a lover or a spouse, or a sibling or even a parent, but there's something about a friend that doesn't bring quite so much baggage or context to muddy the waters.

 

I really like how this thread has stimulated me to think about friendship.

Thanks for that Aaron and everyone.

[Aaron]

I've been listening to some talks by a great speaker named John O'Donohue.

Here's a quote I stumbled upon about friendship:

“Real friendship or love is not manufactured or achieved by an act of will or intention. Friendship is always an act of recognition.”

An act of recognition - I love that!

 

 

My good friend Jeremy is like that for me. At first our friendship was awkward and tentative. Little by little, we've come to really know each other and recognize ourselves in each other. There are all the qualities we like to think about and talk about in a friend - supportive, dependable, there when I need him, someone to hang out with, train with, share happiness and pain with, and all

of that. But what he has really become to me that is extremely valuable and unique is a mirror that reflects back something about myself that I may sometimes overlook or deny, and I to him... And I think that quality of our relationship challenges each of us to know ourself better and therefore to grow further into our potential than we might otherwise have done.

That dynamic may also be there to some degree with a lover or a spouse, or a sibling or even a parent, but there's something about a friend that doesn't bring quite so much baggage or context to muddy the waters.

 

I really like how this thread has stimulated me to think about friendship.

Thanks for that Aaron and everyone.

 

 

 

You're welcome. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

Aaron

[et-thoughts]

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Edited December 11, 2012 by et-thoughts

[WHITEROOMENERGYMINE1]

.................................

No mates then eh?

 

Hahaha nah, just too many that smoke and drink. Just trying to find the good ones I guess.

 

theNERD