Your recommended techniques and methods for controlling sexual urges?

[yondaime109]

I've been trying to hold it in for a month, The highest I've made it was 20 days and that's with raw willpower.

 

But I'd rather not make this a big ordeal, So I want to avoid the urge all together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

help me.

[Fū Yue]

Why do you have the sexual urge in the first place? Why does your mind make it such a priority? What is 'sex', really? Without cultivating a broader, more expansive definition of sexuality and applying the energy to this new pathway, there's not really any point in retention.

[yondaime109]

Why do you have the sexual urge in the first place? Why does your mind make it such a priority? What is 'sex', really? Without cultivating a broader, more expansive definition of sexuality and applying the energy to this new pathway, there's not really any point in retention.

 

My mind makes it such a big priority because I'm black, 16 years old, and a freaking testosterone-filled teen. I'm not going to sit here and explain the the "broader" reason because I just don't have the mental endurance right now.

 

And I'm not saying I want to stop ejaculating all together, I just want to blow my blow my load, Perhaps, once a month. And in order to that I'm going to have to think beyond my penis and stop being such a slave to the immense power of an orgasm.

[XieJia]

Hello Yondaime,

 

You are young, it's normal for you to have immense energy.

 

One can focus it on many things; find a what you want to do.

Whether any kind of sports, your studies, art, or cultivation or anything.

Then direct your energy there.

 

If you explore into Yogic or Taoist Alchemy realm,

there are actually things that is more intense than orgasm.

 

Not that I advise you to seek that out; it depends on what you want to do with your energy.

[Gerard]

.

Edited September 13, 2013 by Gerard

[Cheshire Cat]

Is your problem related to involuntary ejaculation (maybe during the night) ?

or lack of self-control over your sexual urges ?

[Mokona]

Just immerse yourself in activity. That's it. You want to go to bed tired by the end of the day, and if you have to just get up early to start it over for a month or more do it.

 

Just think *Nike*(Just do it) lol.

[skydog]

Ive been takin gerards advice, doing lots of asian squats, hip opening stuff and I've been retaining easier but 20 days is still much higher than Ive done..

[寒月 Hanyue]

I've been trying to hold it in for a month, The highest I've made it was 20 days and that's with raw willpower.

 

But I'd rather not make this a big ordeal, So I want to avoid the urge all together.

 

help me.

My mind makes it such a big priority because I'm black, 16 years old, and a freaking testosterone-filled teen. I'm not going to sit here and explain the the "broader" reason because I just don't have the mental endurance right now.

 

I REALLY try and NOT get involved in this threads.

 

Listen, do you really want help with this? Are you prepared to listen to people who know more about this than you do? Even if what they have to say does not fit your agenda?

 

First of all you are a teenager, MOST of the supposed semen/jing retention methods out in the west under the guise of 'Sexual' Daoist techniques are for OLD men! That need to retain a certain hormonal vitality. The other major reason for developing semen retention was simply as a way to prevent priests fathering children, think the "Catholic" rhythm method

 

Qigong is about balance in your system, alchemy is about taking that balance and improving upon it. NOTHING should cause you to go out of balance!

 

You are young, you are going to be horny, its healthy. Okay

 

There are several formulas for working out a minimum length of time between ejaculations. The famous Doctor Sun Ssu-mo (who lived to 101 years young) recommends twice a month. Others say it should change according to seasonal variances, or age, plus you have to factor in individual constitution etc.

 

There is no hard and fast rule here. You have to learn to listen to YOUR body, especially if you have no teacher to guide you.

 

Do you understand the concept of stagnation of qi and blood from Chinese medicine?

 

Or the concept of DEAD jing? (VERY hard to treat!)

 

Simply holding onto your nut sack and suffering in the hopes that jing retention will be good for you is daft. And un-healthy.

 

It is not that you can't retain for longer periods of time, however if that time is spent doing everything through sheer will power NOT to ejaculate, then this actually goes against the point of cultivation. Instead of having a calm equilibrium with which to practice. Every session you are an internal mess of raging hormones and a mind all over the place.

 

IF your qi channels are open and easily flowing, and IF your heart/mind is calm and still. Guess what? You don't get the same build up of intense sexual urges and stagnating sexual energy around the genitals. THEN you retain your jing for longer periods, while retaining the balance for practice that makes it worthwhile. With NO effort. Does that makes sense?

 

It isn't the other way around, "but if I just hold onto my jing for longer periods, then my practice will improve...", thats putting the cart before the horse.

 

Your retention improves because of your practice improving, make sense?

 

Stillness sitting (letting go and deep relaxation)

Opening up the qimai in the body (gentle qigong)

Opening up the pelvis, pelvic floor and sacrum (melt it, expand and dissolve it)

Opening up the feet and the legs (related to above)

Avoid anything that provides sexual stimulation (not easy thesedays).

 

[Edit: Standing practice, but not the muscling through for hours type. The heavy sinking and releasing into the ground connecting the spine through the legs into the floor and beyond type. And qigong walking. Both will help open the legs, important for strong circulation through the eight vessels]

 

When I say opening, I mean opening the 'energy body', which will have a knock on effect to the physical body. Ya Mu's Stillness-movement and Gift of Dao II, Sequential center qigong will certainly do that for you, no forcing.

 

Opening the gates and channels while allowing the mind chatter, and emotions to fall away, will in time allow a shift towards natural retention that is NOT forced, unhealthy or unbalancing to your system.

 

Another, seemingly little known, fact is this. Different people will respond quite differently to the build up of sexual charge within their bodies. Some will find it quite refreshing and enjoyable, others will simply find it uncomfortable. It is my experience and opinion that this has to do with how the channels are open and flowing. If you have what the chinese call 'rebellious' qi, or incorrect qi flow in certain channels, the build up of sexual energy in the body is exacerbated, period. Holding onto your jing and building the sexual charge is not going to address that rebellious qi.

 

Learning to allow sexual charge to build up within the body, but not pool in and around the genitals, in a comfortable manner that produces no tension (physical, mental, or emotional) can be a slow process, but worth taking the time. Stay below the ejaculation threshold. (Men tend to overly concentrate the sexual charge to the genitals, they need to open it out to the whole body. Women tend to dissipate the sexual charge and need to learn to allow it to build around the genitals. This is of course generalised. ) Feel your heart connected to your genitals, accept and appreciate the build up of sexual charge, do not see it as an enemy that is going to 'steal' or cause the 'loss' of your precious jing Otherwise you are building barriers between different aspects of yourself, another thing that goes completely against the point of cultivation. It does not matter how much charge you can build or sustain without tension. You slowly increase the capacity to be comfortable with it. Absorb and be present to the sexual charge.

 

best,

Edited October 22, 2012 by snowmonki

[Jetsun]

Most of the sexual techniques are not only for older men most were originally intended for monks in seclusion. The modern world is completely different in that you are bombarded with sexual immagery and stimulation all of the time, all of this stimulates your sexual centre whether you like it or not so releasing it once in a while is a healthy thing to do otherwise you will probably go a bit insane with all these unexpressed repressed desires being stirred up but with nowhere to go.

[寒月 Hanyue]

Most of the sexual techniques are not only for older men most were originally intended for monks in seclusion. The modern world is completely different in that you are bombarded with sexual immagery and stimulation all of the time, all of this stimulates your sexual centre whether you like it or not so releasing it once in a while is a healthy thing to do otherwise you will probably go a bit insane with all these unexpressed repressed desires being stirred up but with nowhere to go.

 

+100 and more!

 

Exactly. MANY alchemical techniques were balanced by the environment they were practiced in. Quite a different story if you aren't living in such a place

[JohnC]

Will power is the way. Learn to flow with the energy rather than fight it. Feel it and enjoy it.

Setting up accountability helps as well.

 

I've seen that usually when people don't enjoy sexual energy moving in them, it is because blockages in them in some way.

 

Or shame/bullshit ideas about sexuality taught to them from wherever, trying to assert it is bad, shouldn't be used or needs to be boxed somehow.

 

Enjoy your sexuality.

 

reddit.com/nofap

 

John

[GrandmasterP]

Play the cards you are dealt buddy. Repression is unnatural and unhealthy.

Best method I found so far was reaching 60 that worked a treat and I would not want to think I'd reached this age without sampling all the fruits in lifes orchards.

These alchemist twonks and Buddhist celibate miserabalists would not recognize how to enjoy life if it bit em in the ass.

They try to make a virtue out of the fact that Quasimodo could get laid easier than most of them and 99% of Tantrists simply aint getting any hence they write about it endlessl. The other 1% being sleazey middle aged and often overweight swingers.

Enjoy your energies, avoid internal cultivation til you hit 50 and get outdoors more to meet lots of similar like minded chums of your age at your local martial arts dojo. External MA are just the ticket for young men nd women along with seizing with both hands as many partay opps as come your way.

Be Lucky

[RiverSnake]

Made a post about my experiences with doing the 100 days of Semen Retention awhile ago. You may find some value in it. Also +1 to snowmonki's post. If your doing retention you need something to channel all that energy into.

 

http://thetaobums.co...emen retention

 

-My 2 cents, Peace.

Edited October 22, 2012 by OldGreen

[寒月 Hanyue]

Made a post about my experiences with doing the 100 days of Semen Retention awhile ago. You ma find some value in it. Also +1 to snowmonki's post. If your doing retention you need something to channel all that energy into.

 

http://thetaobums.co...emen retention

 

-My 2 cents, Peace.

 

Thanks for the link

 

I hadn't seen your thread before, thank you for posting up a sober, honest, practical and genuine account. There are MANY important points mentioned. It should be a sticky, or at least linked to everytime these questions come up, which is about every other week, if not more.

 

I couldn't agree more with channeling into DOING something, and that the energy needs/wants to be used for something.

 

Great stuff,

 

Best

[RiverSnake]

Thanks snowmonki. Aside from my initial post there are a lot of gems/experiences sprinkled throughout the pages thanks to the contributions of others. Definitely worth a read.

 

-My 2 cents, Peace

[Gerard]

.

Edited September 13, 2013 by Gerard

[yondaime109]

 

I REALLY try and NOT get involved in this threads.

 

Listen, do you really want help with this? Are you prepared to listen to people who know more about this than you do? Even if what they have to say does not fit your agenda?

 

First of all you are a teenager, MOST of the supposed semen/jing retention methods out in the west under the guise of 'Sexual' Daoist techniques are for OLD men! That need to retain a certain hormonal vitality. The other major reason for developing semen retention was simply as a way to prevent priests fathering children, think the "Catholic" rhythm method

 

Qigong is about balance in your system, alchemy is about taking that balance and improving upon it. NOTHING should cause you to go out of balance!

 

You are young, you are going to be horny, its healthy. Okay

 

There are several formulas for working out a minimum length of time between ejaculations. The famous Doctor Sun Ssu-mo (who lived to 101 years young) recommends twice a month. Others say it should change according to seasonal variances, or age, plus you have to factor in individual constitution etc.

 

There is no hard and fast rule here. You have to learn to listen to YOUR body, especially if you have no teacher to guide you.

 

Do you understand the concept of stagnation of qi and blood from Chinese medicine?

 

Or the concept of DEAD jing? (VERY hard to treat!)

 

Simply holding onto your nut sack and suffering in the hopes that jing retention will be good for you is daft. And un-healthy.

 

It is not that you can't retain for longer periods of time, however if that time is spent doing everything through sheer will power NOT to ejaculate, then this actually goes against the point of cultivation. Instead of having a calm equilibrium with which to practice. Every session you are an internal mess of raging hormones and a mind all over the place.

 

IF your qi channels are open and easily flowing, and IF your heart/mind is calm and still. Guess what? You don't get the same build up of intense sexual urges and stagnating sexual energy around the genitals. THEN you retain your jing for longer periods, while retaining the balance for practice that makes it worthwhile. With NO effort. Does that makes sense?

 

It isn't the other way around, "but if I just hold onto my jing for longer periods, then my practice will improve...", thats putting the cart before the horse.

 

Your retention improves because of your practice improving, make sense?

 

Stillness sitting (letting go and deep relaxation)

Opening up the qimai in the body (gentle qigong)

Opening up the pelvis, pelvic floor and sacrum (melt it, expand and dissolve it)

Opening up the feet and the legs (related to above)

Avoid anything that provides sexual stimulation (not easy thesedays).

 

[Edit: Standing practice, but not the muscling through for hours type. The heavy sinking and releasing into the ground connecting the spine through the legs into the floor and beyond type. And qigong walking. Both will help open the legs, important for strong circulation through the eight vessels]

 

When I say opening, I mean opening the 'energy body', which will have a knock on effect to the physical body. Ya Mu's Stillness-movement and Gift of Dao II, Sequential center qigong will certainly do that for you, no forcing.

 

Opening the gates and channels while allowing the mind chatter, and emotions to fall away, will in time allow a shift towards natural retention that is NOT forced, unhealthy or unbalancing to your system.

 

Another, seemingly little known, fact is this. Different people will respond quite differently to the build up of sexual charge within their bodies. Some will find it quite refreshing and enjoyable, others will simply find it uncomfortable. It is my experience and opinion that this has to do with how the channels are open and flowing. If you have what the chinese call 'rebellious' qi, or incorrect qi flow in certain channels, the build up of sexual energy in the body is exacerbated, period. Holding onto your jing and building the sexual charge is not going to address that rebellious qi.

 

Learning to allow sexual charge to build up within the body, but not pool in and around the genitals, in a comfortable manner that produces no tension (physical, mental, or emotional) can be a slow process, but worth taking the time. Stay below the ejaculation threshold. (Men tend to overly concentrate the sexual charge to the genitals, they need to open it out to the whole body. Women tend to dissipate the sexual charge and need to learn to allow it to build around the genitals. This is of course generalised. ) Feel your heart connected to your genitals, accept and appreciate the build up of sexual charge, do not see it as an enemy that is going to 'steal' or cause the 'loss' of your precious jing Otherwise you are building barriers between different aspects of yourself, another thing that goes completely against the point of cultivation. It does not matter how much charge you can build or sustain without tension. You slowly increase the capacity to be comfortable with it. Absorb and be present to the sexual charge.

 

best,

 

That simply isn't the case, Being a teen does not automatically remove from the consequences of ejaculation. I fapped two times last weekend and I feel completely drained and stupid.

 

I'm extremely athletic, yet, No matter how young or fit I am I cannot avoid the consequences of over ejaculation. If the problem was not that serious then I would not be on this site.

 

These urges will lead me into a very bad place one if I don't learn to control them NOW...like a cold tub full of sweaty old men...

[yondaime109]

Is your problem related to involuntary ejaculation (maybe during the night) ?

or lack of self-control over your sexual urges ?

Lack of will power

[Clarity]

+100 and more!

 

Exactly. MANY alchemical techniques were balanced by the environment they were practiced in. Quite a different story if you aren't living in such a place

 

This is why the Sufis point out that the teaching has to be tailored to the time, the place, and the people.

 

So much great advice in this thread, thanks for not not getting involved!

[Cheshire Cat]

Lack of will power

 

In this case, the only thing that really works is meditation. Not the dantien/MCO stuff, but just stilling the mind.

[Gerard]

.

Edited September 13, 2013 by Gerard

[Cheshire Cat]

No, modern mind wants easy approach.

There are no easy path to develop willpower.

 

It is not complex. It is unpleasant.

[Gerard]

.

Edited September 13, 2013 by Gerard

[joeblast]

That simply isn't the case, Being a teen does not automatically remove from the consequences of ejaculation. I fapped two times last weekend and I feel completely drained and stupid.

 

I'm extremely athletic, yet, No matter how young or fit I am I cannot avoid the consequences of over ejaculation. If the problem was not that serious then I would not be on this site.

 

These urges will lead me into a very bad place one if I don't learn to control them NOW...like a cold tub full of sweaty old men...

Lack of will power

The root of it is the mind. Furtherance of lustful thought triggers the motivation of the generative force. Of course as it becomes full it will motivate of its own accord but that is not the same as "artificially" motivating it with lustful thought. Correct your thoughts but do not punish yourself for having thought them, same as dont be perturbed by realizing you have been thinking while meditating. Simply right the path and follow. The physical movement like bagua that Gerard recommends will compliment. Be diligent, be in the moment and realize that your actions are something you fully have control over, and proceed accordingly. Identify the triggers of the mind and train proper behavior. If you only try to assert willpower "when its bad" then you've already lost half the battle. Complete and utter stillness in meditation will integrate the energy, learn to drop the body signals and lengthen the periodicities until it all becomes awareness. /\